“Welcome back, Rainbow Dash.”
“What? Where am I?”
“Oh yeah. The lights.” NightFlame clapped twice, and the lights flickered on. “You want something to eat?”
“Uhh, sure?”
“Apples, bananas, the flesh and blood of innocent children, pears, what would you like?” NightFlame asked, holding up each thing as he said them.
“Where did you get the flesh and blood of innocent children?” Rainbow asked, mildly worried (only mildly for now).
“Those Sarkic Cultists have a lot of that, I just stole some from them.”
“What was your plan with the camera?”
“Jesus, this isn’t an interrogation. Since we have a picture of the inside of their base, we’ll use Iris’s powers to enter their base and take over. I have a couple of guys who really, really, want to fight, and this is their chance. Anyway, what did you want to eat?”
“... never mind.”
NightFlame turned around and left the white room. “By the way, your roommate’s coming in ten seconds,” he said as he left.
Precisely ten seconds later, a pegasus in a golden glow appeared in the room. Rainbow immediately noticed something off. The silhouette looked like Fluttershy save for the bat wings. The glow dissipated, revealing Flutterbat, eyes closed, and fully accepting of death.
NightFlame popped back in through the door. “I just realized I have no idea what I was gonna do, so I guess I’ll just hang out here.” Flutterbat opened her eyes and whipped her head around to look at who just spoke. “Oh good, you’re awake.”
“Where am I?” she demanded.
“You don’t sound like Fluttershy at all.”
“I’m only going to say this one more time,” she hissed. “Where. Am. I.”
“Haven’t you heard, the enemy of my enemy is my friend? That’s what I am.”
Rainbow Dash opened her mouth to speak but was immediately interrupted by NightFlame.
“Let me tell you a story…”
The other side of the door was a little different from what they expected. Instead of the frosty landscape of Snowdin, they were met with a 1:1 recreation of the Everfree Forest. Or almost 1:1, because they were on a path with guard rails which definitely did not exist in the real Everfree. Once again, Reverse-Flash had deserted them went to scout ahead.
As they walked along, Grogar noticed signs written entirely in lowercase and comic sans. The signs told a story about a skeleton named sans and how he faced down the sins. There was also a minor detail about a brother being killed and a talking golden flower who told someone to kill. Then there was a human impersonator, and then something about being too lazy to continue writing the signs. Then there were more signs, which all said something about confusion.
A small timberwolf pup was curled on the path. Grogar fed it a teensy bit of energy. “You will be a good alpha later,” he said.
“What was that?” Cain asked.
“Nothing,” Grogar quickly replied, as if it wouldn’t come back to bite him in the ass later.
As they neared a clearing, Flowey once again popped up. “Okay, so I lied about Sans, but sans Sans, I did pretty good. I missed that Fluttershy was a bat, so what? That’s not that big of a difference.”
“That’s actually pretty big,” Cain said. “What if the rest of your info is also wrong?”
“Hey, I haven’t left the Ruins knockoff in five years. A lot has changed in those five years. Give me a break.” Flowey popped back into the ground.
In the clearing was a small wooden shack marked ‘Hout Dougs’. Cain knocked on the door to the shack.
They heard the sound of a bony creature falling down the stairs. The door opened, revealing literally nothing but a small rubber ball. The rubber ball bounced to a stop in front of Grogar. The ram sorcerer levitated the ball up to eye height and gave it a small squeeze.
As Flowey was beginning to question why boss music was even being used if no one was fighting, two Meta Knights rushed him from nowhere. Flowey was briefly confused as to how there were multiple Meta Knights as the second Meta Knight attacked. The first Meta Knight reached into a conveniently placed pocket dimension and pulled out a golden crown identical to the one on Loomis’s head. The two Meta Knights, one a king, and the other a knight, circled around Flowey, Grogar, and Cain. Flowey was the only one who noticed because Grogar and Cain were still arguing about the genocide of goats.
Flowey made the first move. Meta King shifted to the side as the blast harmlessly bounced off a tree into Papyrus’s spaghetti. A third Meta Knight jumped out of nowhere, this time looking suspiciously like the severed head of Ivan the Terrible wearing Meta Knight’s mask. Meta Knight and Meta Tsar rushed forward to slice Flowey in half. However, due to poor coordination between them, Meta Tsar accidentally stabbed Meta Knight in the side.
Yet another Meta Knight (Jesus, how many are there?), this time Meta Khan, entered from the trees. Meta King and Meta Khan launched simultaneous assaults as the brawl between Meta Knight and Meta Pope continued. Flowey popped back into the ground to avoid the triple threat.
Grogar, due to squabbling with Cain, failed to notice the Meta Brawl forming behind him. Meta Tsar crashed into Grogar, sending him tumbling into Papyrus’s spaghetti. Papyrus, now enraged that his spaghetti was ruined, summoned six bones, two on each side, to surround Grogar, blocking off all escape. Meta Knight turned into a drill and spun straight through the opening in the rows of bone.
“Holy hell...” Grogar muttered as his magic summoned a giant chessboard over the battlefield for no reason.
White pawn to e4. Meta Khan was standing on e4 as the pawn blindsided him. He rolled over into f6. He turned behind him and sliced the black pawn in half. White pawn to a3. Meta King stumbled onto the board. He looked as if the black king was left wide open. black pawn to g5. Meta King internally screamed as black opened itself into a mate in one. He tried to escape the board but tripped. He landed on h5. White queen to h5. The queen rolled over Meta King. As the checkmate settled, the flag of the Czech Republic rose above the black king. The board reset, with Meta Khan replacing the pawn he killed.
Meta King stumbled off the board, bumping into Cain. “Hello there.” Cain lifted his club as Meta King screamed.
Meta Tsar appeared out of nowhere alongside Meta Kaiser. Meta Kaiser tossed a bratwurst into the trajectory of Cain’s club, causing Meta King to scream even harder. Cain dropped his club on the ground. Meta King stopped screaming. He picked up Cain’s club and hit him in the balls.
White pawn to e4. Black didn’t move. Meta Tsar leaped over Cain and Meta King towards the black king. He unfurled his wings, flapped once, and landed next to Meta Khan. “Pawn to e6,” Meta Tsar uttered.
White did not move. Grogar positioned himself just behind the white king. “Knight to a3.”
“Pawn to f7, but slightly above.” Meta Khan flapped his wings and took to the air, hovering just above his original square.
Meta King launched himself into the middle of the chessboard, as did Cain. Meta King landed behind the black queen while Cain tripped over the board, skidded across the 5 row, and stopped in front of the knight.
“Knight to c4,” Grogar uttered. The moment the knight touched the square, the square launched the knight into the sky. A twinkle signified that the knight was not coming back anytime soon. A stick of dynamite rose out of the square to compensate. Meta Khan floated to just above f5, even though it wasn’t his turn yet.
“Bishop to b4.” The black bishop skidded across the board with a terrifying noise that Pinkie Pie would be proud of if she was playing the yovidophone.
“Knight to detonate in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.” The stick of dynamite that replaced the white knight detonated itself, killing itself and the bishop beside it. The original knight crashed down on e5. Cain, despite being right next to ground zero, survived without a scratch. He dusted himself off and walked behind the closest white rook.
“Pawn to e4.” The other black pawn moved to the white pawn on e4. Meta Khan moved to the side to replace the pawn. Both pawns grew arms and briefly engaged in an arm wrestling match before both exploded and a Monopoly hotel was standing where they were before.
“Bishop to c4.” The white bishop moved to the detonation square. Once again, it was launched into the sky and replaced with a stick of dynamite.
“Knight to f6.” As the knight moved to the square he was commanded to do, the black pawns raised a Czech flag in front of their king. They started moving off the board and chopping down trees, and with astonishing speed, they built a guillotine. Meta Khan dropped down to protect the black king, but the pawns shoved the king into the guillotine, and chopped his head off. The ghost of the king rose out from his severed head and took his place back where he was supposed to be.
“Knight to f3.” The knight moved to f3, then suddenly transformed into an actual horse. He rushed down the board, shattering all the pawns who were about to decapitate their queen.
“Hotel to gather rent.” The horse stopped in front of the hotel, pulled three rubles out of his ass, and hoofed them to the hotel. The hotel split in two and ate the horse whole.
“Bishop to e6.” The dynamite bishop moved to e6, just underneath Meta Khan. Meta Khan dropped down and sliced the stick of dynamite in half.
“Czech flag to commit castle.” The Czech flag, the ghost of the black king, and the black rook all moved to castle. The Czech flag planted itself on top of the black rook.
“Cain to punch Meta Khan in the face.”
“Blue Eyes White Dragon.”
“Pikachu, use Thunderbolt.”
“Uno Reverse card.”
“Card castle.”
Every single command was issued at once. Cain punched Meta Khan into the ground, causing a hole to form up. Blue Eyes White Dragon appeared right in front of Cain. A random Pikachu appeared out of nowhere to thunderbolt Blue Eyes White Dragon, but an Uno Reverse card got in the way and Pikachu electrocuted itself. The white pawns built a card castle in the center of the board, right next to the hotel. The pawns all paid rent to the hotel.
“I summon a nuclear strike next to your mom.” Meta Tsar laughed at his unfunny joke.
“Jokes on you, my mom’s dead,” Grogar countered. “Now! Flowey, use Knife!” Flowey, whom everyone had ignored on a6, pulled a glowing red knife out of the ground. With ease, the card castle collapsed onto the hotel. The hotel sank into the ground, causing another hole. Meta Khan flew up from the new hole. Meta Khan systematically sliced every remaining pawn in half.
Meta Knight, Meta King, and Meta Kaiser simultaneously turned into drills, burrowing under the ground. Grogar leaped through the air, grabbing Meta Khan by the feet. Meta Knight, Meta King, and Meta Kaiser burst through the ground, killing the white king.
“Nuclear launch detected.” Everyone looked up to see a nuclear missile approaching them, specifically one that would have been in use during the Cuban Missile Crisis. The missile hit the ground, and nothing happened. For a solid three minutes, the battle came to a standstill. Meta Kaiser and Meta Knight readied their kartoffel and sword respectively. Meta Tsar produced a pierogi. Meta King shoved his sword in the ground. The last Meta Warrior rose from the ground; the disembodied head of Henry Stickmin’s stand spirit, Reference, but wearing Meta Knight’s mask (no explanation given). Meta Reference punched the missile, and suddenly the explosion happened.
Except it was really small. In fact, too small for a missile the size of the giant white dragon standing in the middle of the battlefield. Blue Eyes White Dragon swallowed what remained of the missile.
“Ah, the Cuban Missile Crisis. Brings back memories.” Reverse-Flash was suddenly standing on top of the dead body of Blue Eyes White Dragon. Did I mention that Blue Eyes White Dragon died instantly without explanation? “I pretended to be some Soviet politician and accused Nikita Khrushchev of being a Russian spy. Fun times.”
Meta Reference rushed Reverse-Flash, but the superior yellow speedster simply moved to the side, causing Meta Reference to crash into Papyrus’s spaghetti. Papyrus, now fed up with everyone ruining his spaghetti, stole three Gaster Blasters from Sans and aimed every single one at Meta Reference.
“Oh, crap.” Meta Reference flew up to avoid the Gaster Blasters. His foot caught on a branch and he stumbled just far enough to fall right into Papyrus’s attack.
Meta Khan, Meta King, Meta Kaiser, Meta Knight, and Meta Tsar held their weapons up as they prepared to avenge their fallen comrade. Instead of attacking Papyrus like idiots, they surrounded Reverse-Flash. They dogpiled him, grabbing whatever limb they could.
“I got his leg!”
“I think this is his arm!”
“On the count of three, we pull him out. One! Two! Three!” When they all pulled out, they found out they were holding each other.
“What a shame,” said Reverse-Flash from d5, twirling a ball on his finger.
“Get him!” Taffy puppies rebuilt themselves from their remains left on the ground. Unfortunately for all of them, the Alpha Timberwolf pup appeared. The battle wasn’t even close.
The other Knights all rushed Reverse-Flash at once. In one swift motion, all of them were tossed aside.
“You know what? Fine!” Meta King dusted himself off, then continued, “Queen to detonate!” The black queen glowed a pulsating red. A wave of heat spread out across the entire forest.
The resulting explosion destroyed the entire forest.
“that was anticlimactic.”
“AGREED, BROTHER!”
The Pony of Shadows, the Storm King, and King Sombra stood around the statue. “Are you sure this is a good idea?” the Storm King asked.
“Grogar may not like them because they plotted to betray someone they assumed was him, but we need the manpower.” The Pony of Shadows filled the statue with his dark magic. “Besides, we need one more expedition into Equestria, and they’re the only ones who know where we’re supposed to go.”
The stone cracked. Black chitin and red fur replaced solid stone. Soon, Chrysalis and Tirek were free. The two looked around to see who freed them.
“I suppose you need us for some plot to destroy Equestria?” Chrysalis deduced.
“Yes, and no,” said the Pony of Shadows. “We need you to bring us to the cave where you first met. I believe Grogar left a few artifacts there.”
“What about Cozy?” Tirek asked.
“Collateral.” The Storm King shoved the rest of the statue off to the side. “Let’s go, maggot.”
“What did you just call me?” Chrysalis hissed, baring her fangs at the Storm King.
“Are your maggot ears too rotten to hear anything I say?” the Storm King retorted.
Chrysalis pounced. With one swing of his staff, the Storm King knocked her to the ground. Chrysalis tried in vain to use her magic, not realizing it was still stored in the Bewitching Bell.
Both Chrysalis and the Storm King were frozen by a dark magic aura before either could attack. “I can sense that victory is close. Do not engage in petty squabbles until our victory is ensured.”
It was only now Chrysalis noticed how imposing the Pony of Shadows was. He towered over everyone else. Not even the Storm King standing up straight was a match for his height.
A green portal opened. “We’re moving out.”
Reverse-Flash grabbed Grogar and Cain as the queen exploded, running both of them to a desert area. Waves of sand fell down the cliffside like a waterfall made of sand. Rivers of sand flowed all throughout the area. Rocks jutted out from the sea of sand. A large canyon carved its way through the landscape. Cacti, cactuses, and cactopodes were planted everywhere.
Reverse-Flash dumped both Grogar and Cain on a random rock, then ran away again. He briefly returned to drop Cain’s club. Grogar shook his head several times, then looked around. “God damn that’s a lot of sand.”
“We’re in a fucking desert,” Cain noted.
“Thank you, Captain Obvious.” Grogar leaped down onto the sand. “Now, we gotta find the real Meta Knight, not whatever those guys were.”
“Hey! We’re real!” shouted some voice from somewhere.
“No, you’re not, you’re just a bunch of glorified OCs!” Cain countered. Flowey popped up from the sand.
“Hey, yeah, it’s me, Flowey the Flower. According to normal Undertale, I’m not supposed to be here. Anyway, I made a mistake. Meta Knight actually isn’t here, and the guy named Meta Knight is actually Meta European Samurai Equivalent, but he calls himself Meta Knight to avoid confusion.”
“That makes it even more confusing,” Cain said.
“Yeah, but since Meta Knight is unforgettable, he gets to do that.”
“What happens when someone dies here?” Grogar asked.
“Well, memories of them will begin to disappear from the surface world, unless they were sent here. That’s good news for you, since you’ll never be forgotten.” Flowey’s innocent face shifted into a monstrous one. “That is, if I don’t kill everyone who you’ve ever met.”
“Yeah, that’s not gonna work since I’m a Bible character,” Cain said.
“I’m in a storybook for foals. You’ll have to wipe out the entire population of Equestria if you want to get rid of me.” Grogar brushed past Flowey.
“Hey! I’m still over here!” Flowey shouted. Cain shrugged and left to follow Grogar.
Not too long later, Grogar and Cain reached a hill. On the hill stood yet another OC based around Meta Knight. The new Meta Knight sported a sword dripping with green liquid. His mask had a diagonal scar across the entire face.
“You shall not pass!” Toxa Knight commanded. “You defeated my brethren in a game of Chess, but let’s see how you fare against the MASTER!” A chess set made of sandstone rose out of the ground. Red sandstone represented black, yellow sandstone represented white. “You move first.”
“Pawn to e4.” The yellow pawn scraped its way across the board.
“Pawn to d5.” The red pawn moved until it was diagonal to the other pawn. Without any orders, both pawns moved up one space.
“Pawn to d3.” A yellow pawn moved to block the other pawn. The two pawns drew swords and began to fight. Grogar picked up some other pawns and prepared to barrage the other king.
“Hey, you can’t do that!” Toxa Knight protested.
“Yes, we can!” Grogar retorted. Every single pawn launched like a missile until the red king was nothing but a smoking crater. “Ha! Checkmate!”
“No! I was doing so well!” Toxa Knight cried as he stabbed his sword into the ground.
“You only made like two moves,” Cain pointed out.
“That would have been a mate in one!”
“I don’t think you understand Chess,” Grogar said.
“Oh, I understand more than you.” The chessboard sank back into the ground. “Now, allow us to fight like true kindergarteners!”
Upon hearing this, Grogar immediately put up an indestructible force field. Toxa Knight picked up his sword, turned it into an indestructible-force-field-destroying sword, and sliced through the force field.
Cain pulled out a perfect accuracy never missing instant kill gun and opened fire. Toxa Knight performed an ultra-perfect dodge. Acid geysers burst out from the sand. Grogar bounced backward to avoid the acid. Cain didn’t get the memo and was treated to a lot of acid to the face.
Cain stood there, unharmed, blue energy drifting off of his skin. “Oh, now you’ve done it!” Cain ran forward at a speed Sonic the Hedgehog would be proud of but tripped just before he reached Toxa Knight.
“Don’t you dare hurt the boss,” said Meta King, standing with his stubby leg outstretched. Meta Khan, Meta Kaiser, Meta Tsar, and Meta Knight soon landed nearby.
“Are you guys like some sort of royal guard?” Cain asked.
“We’re the goddamn resistance movement,” Meta King said.
“So, do we resume beating the ever-living shit out of each other, or do we just give up?” Grogar prepared his magic in case the former was the answer.
“я буду бить твое дерьмо, пока оно не умрет!” Meta Tsar shouted in Google Translated Russian.
“Es war von vornherein nie lebendig!” Meta Kaiser yelled back.
“бид гадаад хэлээр хашгирахаа больж чадах уу?” Meta Khan interrupted.
“Nein!”
“Shut up and let me summon more friends!” Toxa Knight boomed. Toxa Knight held up his sword, and three new Meta Knight clones appeared. Meta Samurai, Meta Sultan, and Meta Chieftain landed around him.
“Are we gonna get a Meta Patriarch now?” Cain asked sarcastically.
“He was killed by that one weird guy with the pencil,” Toxa Knight responded in a perfectly calm tone. “Meta Matriarch got herself stabbed to death by that one talking flower when she heard.”
“Dude, you just killed the mood,” Meta Samurai said. Another Meta Knight clone appeared from far away. Meta Shogun landed next to Meta Samurai.
The two sides charged at each other. However, the Meta Knight army decided to attack two by two, instead of overwhelming them with force.
Meta Khan and Meta Sultan attacked first. Meta Khan drew his bow and fired, somehow missing completely and hitting a small rock spire. Meta Sultan attacked next, slipping on literally nothing and falling on his back. Cain cracked his knuckles and prepared to beat the ever living shit out of Meta Sultan.
Cain lifted Meta Sultan into the air, making a big show of absorbing his life force. Meta Sultan slowly withered away into a wrinkly blob with an onion hat. Once Cain was done, he dropped Meta Sultan’s dead body to the ground. Desert vegetation covered Meta Sultan’s turban and dragged him under the sand.
Meta Chieftain rushed forward with his stone hammers. He struck the stone spire which Meta Khan previously hit. The spire fell over. Meta Khan and Meta Chieftain moved away from the falling area.
Grogar stopped the spire with his magic, then swung it around, smacking Meta Khan down into the sand. He smashed the spire on Meta Khan over and over again, until Meta Khan was nothing but a Mongolian pancake.
“Stop attacking like brainless minions and actually try to do something!” Toxa Knight ordered. Meta Chieftain, Meta Kaiser, and Meta Tsar nodded and moved to surround Grogar and Cain. Meta Kaiser pulled a bratwurst out of a conveniently placed pocket dimension and smacked Grogar in the face with it. Cain pulled the sausage off of Grogar’s face and ate it in four bites.
Meta Tsar spun around like a Russian tornado. The tornado nearly made contact with Cain, but sausage bits distracted Meta Tsar and he turned to Grogar. Grogar rang his bell, and Meta Tsar stopped in his tracks.
Meta Tsar watched his “magic” travel from his body to Grogar’s bell. Cain attacked from behind while he was distracted, causing a blue explosion the size of Spongebob’s square pants. Meta Tsar flew into the floating stone spire and got himself impaled. He popped like a balloon disguised as a piñata.
Meta Kaiser decided to run away, but as he was leaving, he was stabbed through the back by a poison-tipped blade. Meta Chieftain chose that moment to crush his own non-existent skull with a hammer. His attempt at death failed, and instead, he was sent flying backward into Toxa Knight’s sword. Meta Knight, Meta King, Meta Shogun, and Meta Samurai shared a few brief glances before deciding it wasn’t worth it.
“If you desert I’m stabbing you just like I stabbed Meta Stormtrooper and Meta Redshirt last week!” Toxa Knight bellowed. Meta Samurai, Meta Shogun, Meta Knight, and Meta King stopped leaving and turned to face Grogar and Cain.
“If you leave I’ll give you Bofa,” Cain said.
“What’s Bofa?” asked Meta King.
“Bofa deez nuts,” Grogar replied.
“What’s a nut?” Meta Shogun asked obliviously before realizing he forgot to speak Japanese.
“A nut is like a pecan,” Meta Knight explained.
“Pecan at deez nuts!” Cain yelled.
“I’ll make you sugondese nuts!” Meta Samurai screamed as he rammed his katana through Cain’s nuts.
“Oww, my wife is gonna kill me,” Cain muttered.
“Who’s your wife?” Grogar asked, setting up another immature joke.
“Candice.”
“Who’s Candice?” asked Meta Samurai.
“Candice dick fit in your mouth?” Grogar and Cain simultaneously shouted as they hit Meta Samurai so hard that the $3.99 samurai helmet he bought from Wish broke. Meta Samurai attempted to scooch forwards and pull his katana out from Cain’s nuts, but Cain kicked him in the face.
“Man, I haven’t had this much fun since I went to Kenya and caught ten Slugma,” Grogar said.
“What’s a Slugma?” Meta Samurai weakly asked.
“Slugma balls.” Grogar picked up the spire and slammed through Meta Samurai’s body, impaling him to the sand. The force of the impact kicked up enough sand to begin a five-turn sandstorm.
Meta King and Meta King flanked Cain from the sides, while Meta Shogun rushed him head-on. As he used his two arms to hold them off and his leg to stop Meta Shogun, Toxa Knight rushed through the sandstorm to rip Meta Samurai’s katana out of Cain’s nuts. He tossed it to Meta Shogun, who then proceeded to jam it back into Cain’s nuts. Meta Shogun ripped it out again, then bounced back and spun around, kicking up more sand to the sandstorm. Meta Knight and Meta King also bounced back next to Meta Shogun and turned themselves into tornadoes. Toxa Knight watched as Meta Shogun did a Maori war dance.
Meta Shogun rushed Grogar as he covered his eyes. Unfortunately, Meta Shogun didn’t anticipate Grogar’s magical shield popping up. He bounced off into Cain’s fully regenerated nuts. He jammed his katanas into the sides of Cain’s legs, then ripped them out again.
Cain attempted to punt Meta Shogun but due to the sandstorm obstructing his vision, he missed and kicked the sand. He lost his balance and fell over. Meta Shogun used the sands to his advantage as he prepared to stab Grogar from behind.
Grogar pooled his magic into one spot, then blasted the sand away. However, due to the actions of Meta Knight and Meta King, it wouldn’t last. For a brief moment, the sand was completely gone, and Grogar took advantage of it to blast Meta Shogun with more magic. A nearby cactus lit on fire, and Grogar pulled it close to use as a weapon.
The sandstorm kicked up again. Meta Shogun sliced through Grogar’s flaming cactus. His katana lit on fire even though metal doesn’t burn. Grogar ditched the cactus.
The sandstorm subsided. Grogar ripped the stone spire out of the ground and hit Meta King and Meta Knight in a one-two combo, knocking both of them out of the battlefield. Cain wiped sand out of his eyes, then formed a ball of pure life energy in his hands. Meta Shogun stared in shock as a flaming stone spire smacked him into the next chapter.
Meta Knight and Meta King recovered, then drew their swords and prepared to attack. Vines burst out of the ground and strangled Meta Knight. The vines stole his sword and stabbed him so many times his body was unrecognizable.
Toxa Knight and Meta King stood side-by-side as Grogar and Cain prepared to make their final attack. Toxa Knight kicked Meta King forwards into Cain’s punch. Grogar quickly followed up with a ram to the face. Grogar and Cain blasted Meta King with their full power, and Meta King was soon vaporized.
“That wasn’t fair at all,” Grogar noted.
“It’s time to finish this,” Cain said. Cain re-energized his fists and walked forward calmly towards Toxa Knight. He launched into a flurry of punches that would make Raiden from Metal Gear Rising proud. He punched so hard and fast that the sounds of bones cracking could be heard from where Grogar was standing.
When the dust settled, Cain held his fists as if he had broken them, and Toxa Knight was completely unharmed. The corpses of his fallen comrades rose up from the ground and flew toward him. When the first one touched, it vanished instantly, and a green glow emitted from Toxa Knight’s eyes. With every body added, the glow became stronger, and it spread to the rest of his body. Soon, even Meta Reference’s soul floated towards Toxa Knight. Flowey intercepted it and absorbed it into himself.
“How did you not die?” Cain’s confidence was completely gone.
“Who you previously fought had been nothing but an extension of myself.”
“Then why were they running away if you didn’t want them to?” Grogar asked.
“I’m gonna need you to get all the way off my back about that teensy insignificant detail,” Toxa Knight replied, motioning to attack with his sword.
Toxa Knight rushed forwards. Cain cleared his eyes and raised his broken fists to fight. Toxa Knight easily outmaneuvered all of Cain’s strikes and tossed him aside. Grogar built a shield in front of himself. Toxa Knight moved behind Grogar and smacked him away. Cain stood up again but was rushed by Toxa Knight.
Flowey popped up from the ground to offer support, but all of his vines and even the giant tree he summoned were sliced clean through by Toxa Knight’s sword. He couldn’t even regrow them from the stumps because they withered immediately afterward.
As Grogar, Cain, and Flowey tried their best to face off against an opponent who only outclassed them in terms of speed, a flash of red lightning saved them. Reverse-Flash easily outmaneuvered Toxa Knight. Poison and lightning clashed in a Christmas-colored blast. Reverse-Flash summoned a lightning strike to him, materializing a red lightning blade in his hand.
The two traded blow after blow, sword strike after lightning blade strike, punch after punch, and chess capture after chess capture. Neither gained the upper hand for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually, Toxa Knight faked out Reverse-Flash. One acid blast later, and Reverse-Flash was on the ground with the rest of his allies. He quickly vibrated off the acid and stood up.
Grogar, Cain, Flowey, and Reverse-Flash huddled and made a plan. “Cain and I will attack from the front, and he’ll counter-strike us. Reverse-Flash, when you see him do that, you run at him from the side. Flowey, once that happens, you tie him up. After that, we do whatever the fuck we want.” Everyone nodded, and Reverse-Flash ran away again. Cain got into a fighting stance and stood back-to-back with Grogar. They charged.
Toxa Knight prepared to counter their attack, then Reverse-Flash came running back. Toxa Knight was hit with a lightning punch that sent out shockwaves strong enough to knock Cain onto his back. Grogar only remained standing due to him having four legs.
Toxa Knight was momentarily disoriented, and Flowey used that moment to tie him up. A thorny vine sprouted out of the ground. Grogar, Cain, and Reverse-Flash prepared to do everything they could to kill Toxa Knight.
“And that’s how you make a Reuben sandwich in a dishwasher.”
“I thought you were telling us our mission,” Rainbow Dash complained.
“What mission?” NightFlame asked.
“The one that you sent me to do which ended in me getting captured,” Rainbow said.
“The one that you clearly summoned me here to participate in,” Flutterbat added.
“Oh yeah. The picture has been handed to someone who can use it, and the teleportation device has been implemented. I’ll go to the Council and see if I can get the full support of the army in our attack. If not, well, I still have an army.” NightFlame tossed two soggy sandwiches at the two ponies. The sandwiches landed on the floor with a sad schlop. He got up, turned around, and left.
“Wow, he sucks at throwing,” Flutterbat noted.
Rainbow Dash silently agreed.
The battle raged on as a sandstorm brewed. Reverse-Flash somehow had enough time to run away and grab a radio. He turned it on and a song began to play.
Toxa Knight, enraged at being Rickrolled, attacked with renewed vigor. Despite being significantly slower, he still managed to gain the upper hand. A single slash sent drops of poison flying toward Grogar and Cain. Reverse-Flash grabbed Toxa Knight in a bear hug. Flexible cactus strips burst out of the ground to grab Toxa Knight. They wrapped around all four of his nubs and his sword.
“We have you now. Do you yield?” Grogar stepped up, horns glowing yellow.
“Bold of you to assume you have the upper hand,” Toxa Knight calmly replied. The sand began shifting as a worm moved underneath.
The worm burst out of the ground, teeth dripping with venom. It struck the ground near Grogar, displacing volumes of sand. Grogar tried using his monster influence on the sandworm, to no avail.
“Sorry to disappoint, but he isn’t one of yours,” Toxa Knight said, landing on top of the sandworm’s head as the sandworm pulled itself completely out of the sand. Cactus nubs fell to the ground beneath the sandworm’s head. “This is a Mongolian Death Worm, sadly forgotten by most of the world as skeptics claimed it was truly a snake.”
The Mongolian Death Worm stood nearly as tall as the Pony of Shadows, shadowy wings outstretched. It had no eyes and its mouth was filled with sharp reptilian teeth. Each segment of its body had a thick plate of armor covering most of it, leaving very few gaps that would be nearly impossible to hit when the worm moved.
Toxa Knight willed for the battlefield to change. The sandstorm subsided and was replaced by a blizzard. The sandy desert gave way to an icy tundra. Despite the Mongolian Death Worm being most well known for attacking in desert environments, the frigid air didn’t seem to affect it. In fact, it seemed to become more active.
“There’s nowhere to run. The ground is too frozen to escape. My beautiful worm will kill you before you even get a chance to-” Toxa Knight was interrupted by Grogar launching Cain at the speed of an ICBM. Cain’s fist became coated with blue flame as it connected with Toxa Knight’s mask. The Mongolian Death Worm reared up, causing Cain to stumble off. Toxa Knight flipped back onto his nubby feet as Cain landed on his face.
Toxa Knight lunged for the dazed Cain, only for his attack to be met by Reverse-Flash’s lightning blade. Toxic green fluid dripped all across the ground as the two fastest combatants resumed their conflict.
Their blades briefly crossed, then Reverse-Flash pushed Toxa Knight backward. Toxa Knight resumed his battle stance.
“You will tell me where I can get out of here, then I’ll kill you and your pathetic pet worm,” Reverse-Flash calmly demanded.
“I don’t have to tell you anything,” Toxa Knight responded, equally as calm. “But if you wish to know, the temple on the mountain’s peak is your way out. But I advise you to avoid it if you value your life.”
“Thanks,” Reverse-Flash said, dropping his battle with Toxa Knight to run away.
The Mongolian Death Worm’s venom dripped onto the frozen ground. Tundra grasses withered away at just the touch of venom. Grogar’s magic condensed the flurry of snow in the air into ice. The Death Worm attacked, slithering right into Grogar’s trap. Using magic, Grogar transformed the massive blocks of ice into ice chains. The chains wrapped around the Death Worm and pinned it to the ground.
Grogar stepped closer. The Worm roared. Grogar snapped its mouth shut with another ice chain. Granting magic to the beast, Grogar gained control over it.
Toxa Knight turned to see the Mongolian Death Worm break free from its icy bondage. He briefly grinned underneath his mask before seeing the Worm was targeting him.
Grogar stepped forward, Toxa Knight held his sword out in front of him, and the Death Worm dove underneath the frozen earth. The ram sorcerer rammed into Toxa Knight faster than Magnus Carlsen checkmated Bill Gates. Toxa Knight’s blade collided with Grogar’s horn as he slid backward. The Death Worm burst out of the ground, swallowing Toxa Knight whole.
The Mongolian Death Worm reared back in pain as a blade cut its way through it. Toxa Knight pushed through the hole he made. The Death Worm fell limp once Toxa Knight was fully out.
Before Toxa Knight could resume the battle, ice chains swarmed around him and bound his wings. The chains rooted themselves in the ground around some evergreen trees.
The battlefield changed. The ice vanished, changing the terrain to rocky cliffs. Boulders tumbled down mountains. Massive predatory birds carried off elephants in their talons. A small green glow emanated from the mountaintop, where a small temple lay.
“Your next opponent shall not be as merciful as I have been,” Toxa Knight warned as the same golden glow that enveloped Flutterbat formed around him. “If you continue on the path you have chosen, the temple will be your final resting ground.”
NightFlame studied the “battle” happening in the sealed-off chamber. By this point, Russian Experiment’s berserk state had worn off and he was cowering in the corner, hands covering his face. SCP-729-J hovered in the center of the room, still surrounded by a red aura.
He pressed a button on the console. A robotic arm shot out to grab SCP-729-J, but just as it was about to touch, it shied away and retreated back into the wall. NightFlame stood up from his chair and headed out to retrieve SCP-729-J himself.
Opening the door, he felt a massive wave of fear wash over him. He pushed through the fear, knowing it was only the effects of the rabbit plush. Closing his eyes, his trembling arm reached out and touched the Beast. His hand closed on the soft demon couch stuffing rabbit plush. The aura died down. Russian Experiment screeched in the general direction of the beast.
NightFlame opened his eyes. The fear was gone. He was immune. He made eye contact with Russian Experiment, who remained in a fetal position in the corner. He put the plush in his pocket and confidently stepped out of the chamber.