//------------------------------// // Uncertainty // Story: Little Keys // by Skijarama //------------------------------// Twilight gave off a tired sigh as she walked back into her parent’s house. It was evening now, and after nearly a full day of walking around, talking to ponies, and stressing herself out about how she was going to make things better between her and Moondancer, the familiar interior of her childhood home did wonders to put her body at ease. For a brief moment, her troubles, doubts, fears, and concerns faded into the background. Not forgotten, not even lessened, but set aside. Rarity, Rainbow, and Spike followed closely behind her. The trio turned around to face the last member of the party, Minuette, who remained outside. “You sure you don’t wanna come in?” Twilight asked with a welcoming smile. “I’m sure my parents wouldn’t mind a chance to catch up with you.” Minuette smiled warmly, but shook her head. “Thanks, Twi, but I’m good. It’s been a long day. I’m kinda tired, and I’ve uh… I’ve got a lot to think about,” she said, looking away. Twilight’s smile faded. “Right… okay.” There was a momentary pause before Rainbow chipped in with her customary smirk. “Eh, no sweat. We can hang out another time if ya want. Twi and I are gonna be in town for another few days anyway, so if ya got time and wanna hang out, you know where to find us.” Minuette perked up at the suggestion, her smile growing. “Right! I might just take you up on that!” she chirped before lunging forward. In rapid succession, she gave Rainbow, Twilight, and even Rarity big hugs, and Spike an affectionate head pat, before cantering down the street. “Goodnight! It was good seeing you again! And it was wonderful to meet you, Rarity!” “Likewise,” Rarity called after her with an elegant wave. “Ta ta, dear!” The others called their own farewells after Minuette before the door was finally closed. The moment it clicked shut, Twilight slumped against it, closing her eyes and taking a minute to just breathe and collect herself. When at last she opened them, weariness was reflected back at her perfectly by the eyes of those around her. Rainbow put on a small smile. “Tired?” Twilight said nothing. She pushed away from the door and led the way towards the nearby seating area. She threw herself into the first loveseat she could find and practically melted into the soft cushions. Rainbow sat down beside her and pulled the alicorn into a loving cuddle. Rarity sat across from them, with Spike predictably parking himself right next to her.  It only took a moment for the weight and stress of the long day to catch up to Twilight, slamming into the front of her mind like a sack of bricks. She buried her face into Rainbow’s chest fur and let off the mother of all exhausted moans. Only then did she finally deign to answer Rainbow’s question. “Yes. I’m tired.” Rainbow snickered softly. Twilight felt the vibrations of that quiet laughter through her girlfriend’s coat, followed shortly by a comforting hoof running down the back of her mane in a series of slow, soothing pets. “I think we’re all tired,” Rarity noted from across the way. “Mmph,” Twilight grunted, cuddling closer to Rainbow for a few seconds more. She just did not have the mental energy to work up a proper reply right now. Several seconds passed in silence before a sound reached Twilight’s ears. Hoofsteps, drawing closer. Curious, she lifted her head from Rainbow to see her mother approaching with a warm grin. “Twilight! Dash! Oh, there you all are! We were wondering where you were when we came back,” she said happily. “All we found was a note saying you’d be out for the day. Where have you all been?” Spike tilted his head. “...A note? We didn’t leave a note.” “Musta been Thorax,” Rainbow mused, furrowing her brow. “He was here earlier.” Velvet came up short, blinking in surprise. “Thorax? The changeling you’re friends with? What was he doing here? He doesn’t usually come to visit us,” she asked curiously. Twilight’s ears drooped. “I… er… it’s a long story.” Velvet eyed her for a few seconds, and Twilight could instantly see the gears turning behind her mother’s eyes. It only took a moment for the ‘mama bear’ look to settle into place. Velvet stepped forward and sat down beside Twilight. “What’s wrong?” Twilight opened her mouth to say ‘I’m fine’ as if on impulse, but clamped down on the lie before it had a chance to flee her lips. She didn’t say anything for several seconds. She stared at the floor, working her jaw and her mind. She briefly cast a glance in her mother’s direction, and when she saw the worried look in her eyes, Twilight’s silence crumbled into dust. “I’m just… only now really realizing just how bad things were for the ponies I hurt,” she began, closing her eyes and launching into her story of the day. She told her mother everything, from the hostile encounter with Moondancer on the streets, to Thorax and Spiracle’s surprise intervention, to the hours spent wandering about town with Minuette, and finally the heavy conversation with Moondancer in her own home. Recounting the events felt as if it took a lifetime. It was hard for her to imagine all of that happening in just one day, and yet here she was, looking back on it with the weight of what felt like a whole new year. All the while, Velvet listened in silence, her eyes never once losing their shimmer of concern. Once or twice she interjected with a question, but she otherwise didn’t say a word. Her expression said more than enough. The deeper into the tale Twilight went, the more her mother’s face reflected her sympathy for Moondancer’s plight, her concern for her daughter, and her own distress at no doubt not having a readily available solution in her pocket. “Goodness…” Velvet murmured as Twilight finally concluded her story. “I hadn’t seen or heard from Moondancer in years since you left for Ponyville. I had no idea things were so bad for her…” “It’s dreadful to imagine,” Rarity added, closing her eyes. “I had always pictured Canterlot to be the pinnacle of high society. I was aware of the possibility that poverty must exist here, but… To see it with my own eyes?” “Canterlot’s always had its grungier spots,” Rainbow chimed in with a snort. “It just got worse after the changelings showed up.” “Not that it was ever pretty to begin with,” Midnight snipped quietly in the back of Twilight’s head. “The privileged were just better at hiding it all behind a lamination of pompous wealth… Not unlike yourself.” Twilight tried to ignore her. Rarity turned her attention to Rainbow at that, her brow furrowing. “Yes, and upon that note, Rainbow…” Rainbow turned to her, quirking a brow. “Huh?” Rarity leaned forward, disapproval written fiercely across her face. “Darling… why in the wide world of Equestria did you claim responsibility for the changeling attack?! You know that wasn’t your fault-” “I didn’t, and I’m not.” Rarity paused, tilting her head. “B-beg your pardon?” Rainbow was quiet for a second, then shrugged. “Think about it like this. If you hire somepony to be the night watch for your store, and then they leave their post in the middle of their shift, and then somepony else robs the place because nopony was there to stop them, you’re probably gonna fire the security guard for being lousy at their job. If a city watch pony leaves their post, they can get slapped with some pretty major punishments for being AWOL.” Rarity was quiet for a moment, tilting her head. “Well, yes, but-” Rainbow kept going. “It’s kind of a similar deal with us. We were the only ponies who could use the Elements of Harmony. There was always this sort of… I dunno. It felt like an unspoken obligation, you know? We had to be where we could be reached just in case we were needed. Doubly so for me. I mean, I’m a princess for crying out loud. I’m supposed to be on hoof if things go sideways. Instead, I hauled you off to Manehattan to harass Starlight.” Twilight gave Rainbow a quiet look. There wasn’t any guilt or shame on Rainbow’s face, however. Just a simple conviction. “So, as a Princess of Equestria, I had a duty, and I shirked it. Simple as that. I wasn’t responsible for the changelings, I get that, but I was responsible for deciding my paranoia was more important than my obligation to my freakin’ country. I can take responsibility for that, at least,” Rainbow continued. “And not to be rude, Rarity… but I don’t expect you to really understand what that’s like.” Rarity flinched and finally settled back into her seat. “I suppose you have the right of it on that front, darling. I couldn’t understand…” she muttered, toying idly with her mane. Rainbow nodded. She leaned back in her seat, casually pulling Twilight in closer. “And putting all that aside, I was just trying to take some of the pressure off Twilight. I mean, she’s got enough to deal with, and I’m not the one with a devil waiting to set me off at the slightest provocation.” Twilight felt her heart flutter slightly at that. A tender smile graced her lips, and she pulled herself tighter against Rainbow’s chest with a quiet hum. “Thank you, Dash.” Rainbow smiled, giving her an affectionate squeeze. “Anytime, egghead.” Twilight’s smile then faded. “That said… We still need to figure out what to do about Moondancer…” Silence fell over the table for a few moments as everypony processed those words. Soon enough, Velvet let off a quiet hum and gave Twilight a few pats on the back. “Well… what do you plan to do about it?” she asked softly, a hopeful smile creeping onto her face. “Surely you have some big plan ready to go?” Twilight had to resist the urge to laugh at that. “A plan?” she echoed incredulously. Velvet blinked. “Well… yes? You’ve always been such a clever girl, Twilight. I would know, I saw it in your father long before you came into the world.” “Booksmarts,” Twilight countered flatly. “I have booksmarts, mom. I can do formulas in my head all day! Give me a telescope and I can find a nebula in space in five minutes. Hoof me an encyclopedia and I can probably define the most obscure word in it off the top of my head! Hay, when it comes down to it, I can even be brave! I’ve fought changelings, Discord, and I faced down Nightmare Moon! But this?” She stood up from the seat and walked a short distance, her head down under the weight of it all. “Maybe I could logic out one big solution, but the problem is that Moondancer is as bad as she is, in part, because of me! There isn’t any one problem to find a solution to, no one enemy to point the Elements at. It’s not an enemy, it’s not an invasive problem, it’s a consequence of my own mistake! It’s what happened when I didn’t even realize that I was stealing the memories of a pony who thought we were friends!” She spun back to the others, throwing her hooves wide for emphasis. “I have no idea what I’m doing! I have no idea how to fix this, how to make it right! I want to, but how do I?! Where do I even start?! What could I possibly do that would even begin to make amends?” All eyes were on Twilight following her tirade, however brief it was. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself before slumping to her haunches in a heap of exhaustion and confusion. “I just… ugh… I don’t know how, okay?” She felt everypony looking at her. A moment later, she heard the tell-tale clicking of Spike’s clawed feet walking toward her. She looked up to see the baby dragon coming to a stop right in front of her. He tapped his claws together over his chest in a familiar display of nerves, and his eyes bored into hers. “We’ll figure it out,” he finally said, stepping forward and giving her a hug. “We always do, don’t we?” Twilight gave a soft smile, pulling Spike closer and closing her eyes. “Maybe,” she conceded. “Maybe…” “If I may,” Rarity suddenly piped up, drawing Twilight’s eyes back to her. “Moondancer was once one of Celestia’s students, was she not? You were classmates. Would it not be possible to appeal to her to give Moondancer some relief?” “If it was ever true that Celestia cared at all about her students, the simple fact is that she would have helped Moondancer long ago!” Midnight suddenly spat in Twilight’s head, manifesting from afar. “Besides. I will not suffer you to grovel at her hooves one more time! I will not be made to kneel to that witch!” Twilight’s eyes fell on Midnight manifesting in the loveseat where she had been sitting a moment prior. The hatred and vitriol in the doppelganger's eyes was palpable. A thrill ran down Twilight’s spine, sending her to her hooves reflexively. Rainbow took note of where Twilight was looking, momentarily confused. It only took a moment for the realization to click into place, and she promptly began to make goofy faces around where she hoped Midnight’s face was. She was a little to the left, but the effort was appreciated nonetheless. Midnight scowled and jumped from her seat, storming across the room until she was in Twilight’s face. “Don’t ignore me,” she snarled bitterly, her voice crisp and clear. “Celestia is not getting involved. She pushed you away, she invited this with her selfish refusal to share, and I will not let you crawl back to her. If you absolutely must fix Moondancer’s wretched life for her, then you will do it without Celestia’s help.” Twilight frowned. “And who are you to command me?” Midnight glared into Twilight’s eyes for a few more seconds. She then smiled. A sickeningly haughty expression that made Twilight’s spine tingle with frustration. “I don’t need to command you,” Midnight taunted silently, striding past Twilight with her head held high. “You already made up your mind.” Twilight turned to follow Midnight, but the apparition was gone when she looked. A chill crept down her back. “I hate it when she does that…” “Twilight?” Rarity called, drawing Twilight’s attention back to the others. The look in the unicorn’s eyes was knowing. “Were you ‘distracted?’” Twilight briefly glanced at her mother, then nodded. “Yeah… that’s a word to use,” she said, slowly making her way back to the group. “Well, you aren’t distracted now, right?” Rainbow asked, patting the seat beside her. “So let’s get back to talking, yeah?” “Yeah,” Twilight muttered, sitting beside Rainbow. She was quiet for a second, considering Rarity’s idea. Theoretically, it made sense. Celestia cared deeply for her students, and if it was brought to her attention that one of them really needed her help, Twilight could see no reason why Celestia would deny lending it. Of course, Moondancer was smart enough to know this, so why had she not reached out to Celestia herself? Maybe it was simply pride. Or maybe shame. The embarrassment that she had fallen so low as to ask the leader of the land for personal aid. Given the air of aristocracy that tended to permeate so much of Canterlot, it would be a mark in her life she’d likely never be allowed to live down by those who considered themselves her ‘betters.’ If Twilight were to go to Celestia instead, then there wouldn’t be so much thrown Moondancer’s way. But the more Twilight thought about it, the more and more she found the idea of going to Celestia to be… unappealing. It just didn’t feel right to her, somehow. Eventually, she pinned down why, and put her thoughts into words. “No. I don’t want Celestia to get involved here if we can help it.” Rarity blinked. “But… she could set this to rights just like that, couldn’t she?” “Maybe she could,” Twilight acknowledged with a nod before looking Rarity in the eye. “The operative word there being ‘she’. Celestia would be fixing it. Celestia would be doing all of the work to make Moondancer’s life better, not me. If I go to Celestia, I’m confessing that I don’t have what it takes to make amends myself. I’d be passing the burden off to somepony else… And if I ever want to be forgiven for my mistakes, I have to earn it… I have to face the problem that I helped create, and I have to solve it. “It’s like solving a math problem with a calculator instead of doing it manually,” she went on. “Sure, the calculator will absolutely give me the right answer, and most of the time, it’s probably the best thing to do. But I didn’t put in any of the effort to reach the answer. I just pushed in some numbers and voila. Answer. That’s good for practical situations… But this isn’t practical. It’s personal. It’s not about finding a sum.” “An eloquent justification,” Midnight whispered from the back of her mind. “With perhaps a hint of truth, I concede. But still dodging the truth of it.” “You can hate Celestia all you want,” Twilight shot back. “But I’m not keeping her out of this because you told me to.” “Of course not,” Midnight mused, slowly fading into the distance. “That would imply I needed to convince you to begin with.” Rarity nodded solemnly. “Yes, I suppose that makes sense, dear… But that still leaves the question, what are we going to do? It’s not exactly a simple situation we’ve found ourselves getting involved in.” Twilight took a deep breath, closing her eyes. “I don’t know, yet… but I’ll figure something out. I know I will. I just need time to sort it all out in my head.” A few seconds passed before Velvet stood up. “You should get some rest, first, little miss,” she said with a familiar maternal firmness that made Twilight equal parts nostalgic and fearful. She opened her eyes to see Velvet looking down at her intently. “Don’t make solving this problem an all-nighter, you hear me?” Twilight opened her mouth to agree, of all things, but Velvet beat her to it. “No no, don’t even think of protesting!” she said with a firm shake of her head. “You just sit there, get some rest, and cuddle your girlfriend. I’ll go get an early dinner going, and when that is done, you will march right up to your room and get some much-needed sleep!” Twilight blinked at her mother’s resolute face, wide-eyed. And then she laughed. Velvet blinked, confused. “...What did I say?” “I wasn’t going to protest,” Twilight said between her snickers, holding a hoof up to cover her muzzle. “I was actually going to agree with you. I am exhausted. Going to bed with this cuddleable doofus sounds like just what I need.” She elbowed Rainbow in the ribs for emphasis. Rainbow blinked, flushing slightly. “Cuddleable? Doofus?” “You have nice chest fluff, what can I say?” Twilight asked, giving Rainbow a big grin. Rainbow rolled her eyes, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lip. “Heh. So do you, egghead.” Spike leaned forward, grinning. “So this is the part where you kiss, yeah?” “Shut it,” the two lovebirds said in unison. They then stared at each other for a moment, before breaking down into a fit of laughs. None of their problems had been solved yet. But if only for this one moment, Twilight was able to relax. She had time to work on a solution, and right now, she was ready to put it all behind her and take her ease. And take her ease she did. True to her word, Velvet wasted no time in throwing together an early dinner, and even went out of her way to surprise her guests by making a spread of hashbrowns, pancakes, and various other delicious breakfast items. Night Light joined them before long, with Velvet taking the time to get him caught up from an out-of-the-way spot to keep from dragging down the tenuous high spirits the rest of the group was able to enjoy. But through it all, there was still the lingering uncertainty in Twilight’s mind. The question of how to make amends for what she did to Moondancer was never silent, just buried. When she lay her head down against Rainbow that night, the question grew louder in her thoughts. It brought with it doubts and fears. Thankfully, the slow rise and fall of Rainbow’s chest, the sound of her slumbering breaths, her slightly salty smell, and the feeling of her hooves and wings wrapped possessively around Twilight helped her rally herself. She didn’t have the answers yet, but she would give her all to finding them. That silent, internalized promise was the last thing Twilight thought before drifting off to sleep.