Dark and decrepit… two words that best described the halls of the Dragon’s Keep. The entirety of the interior was in complete ruin. Hence why the entire group felt an extreme case of hesitancy. One misstep could mean the difference between life and death, especially in a place such as this. The majority of the group warily walked with caution, while Donkey was downright terrified. With only the occasional torch lighting the way in the darkness, they could see that all the passages were littered with bones, armor, and weapons. If they were to guess, these were presumably the remains of many unsuccessful knights who tried to rescue the princess… and failed.
“Why is it that many of our adventures have us investigating some dark castle or some spooky land?” Spike whispered.
“Come on dude, we haven’t done that much,” Rainbow whispered back.
It was then Pinkie Pie bounced right up alongside them.
“Actually, Spike has a point,” Pinkie agreed. “There was the Castle of the Two Sisters, the Spooky Island Castle, the Phantom’s Lair, the Land of the Dead…”
“Okay Pinkie, we get it!” Rainbow replied, rolling her eyes.
“Will y’all keep yer voices down?!” Applejack scolded quietly. “We don’t need tah make it no easier fer that there Dragon tah find us.”
“Why can’t Spike just talk to the dragon?” Pinkie whispered, with a smile. “Maybe if he asks nicely, the dragon will release the princess and we won’t have to fight.”
“First of all, we’re not in Equestria,” Spike pointed out. “This is a whole other universe, and I doubt this dragon will understand me. Second, you think if I could convince a full grown dragon to do anything Garble would still be doing beat poetry?”
“I thought you liked his poetry.”
“Yeah… when he’s not doing it for six hours straight!”
“Um guys, not that I’m all that curious, but…” Fluttershy whispered timidly. “How would we even know the dragon is close?”
“Well… I do recall this one trick Smolder taught me while visiting the Dragon Lands,” Spike recalled. “It gets her brother every time. Now let me see if I remember it…”
Spike proceeded to massage his claws together and took a deep breath, while the others watched anxiously. Then, after an exhale, he opened his eyes and positioned his claws over his mouth…
“If you’re a dragon and you know it, clap your claws!!!”
Spike quickly raised a single claw, a gesture for every pony to be quiet as Spike waited. The air was deathly still, not another sound was heard. The group dared not move, their eyes darting about praying the dragon doesn’t respond. But not a single response was heard.
“Oh good…” Spike sighed with relief. “I would’ve wet myself if that actually worked…”
The group shook their heads and rolled their eyes as they pressed on, keeping a sharp eye out for a sheer sign of a dragon.
“So… our quest is to rescue a princess locked up in a tower?” Raven pointed out. “Doesn’t sound so hard.”
“We don’t know what dangers lie ahead of us, Raven,” Apple said cautiously. “We must be very careful.”
“Well, I’m ready for any danger waiting for us!” Pinkie spoke excitedly, posing dramatically. “Wherever there’s danger, there are brave knights battling all sorts of evil. Dragons, monsters, werewolves, mummies, and especially… ogres!”
Shrek stopped walking and slowly turned toward Pinkie Pie, angrily.
“Pinkie, I’m the ogre around here, remember?” He asked irritated.
“Oh yeah… I kind of forgot.”
Shrek groaned, shaking his head as he kept walking along the floor.
“Shrek’s always being himself,” Spike crossed his arms.
“Never mind that now,” Twilight brushed it off. “We must save the princess. Then once we bring her back to the castle, we must stop Tirek before he causes any more trouble.”
Hearing the pony princess mention the name, Donkey turned toward her curiously.
“Uh, I hope you don’t mind if I ask you something, but… who’s Tirek?” Donkey asked.
“Trust me Donkey, you don’t wanna know,” Rainbow responded, flying beside him.
“Why not?”
“Take our word, Donkey darling, he’s nothing but a big angry red centaur who drained all our magic back in Equestria when we first encountered him,” She explained shuddering. “I’ll never forget that day.”
“Me neither,” Fluttershy replied softly. “Seems like only yesterday when Tirek tricked Discord into working for him.”
“That Tirek doesn’t sound very nice at all,” Donkey spoke.
Shrek again stopped walking so he could turn back toward the Mane Six, Spike, and Donkey. Based on the way he eyed the group; he couldn’t believe a word they said.
“Centaurs aren’t real,” Shrek spoke skeptically. “They only appear in myths.”
“Oh Tirek ain’t no myth, Shrek,” Applejack spoke seriously. “He’s real and believe me, we dealt with him plenty before back in Equestria.”
“And he did way more than just draining magic,” Spike added. “One time, Tirek teamed with Chrysalis and Cozy Glow to make all the pony races turn against each other so they could take over our land. And for a moment… it nearly worked.”
“Once you encounter Tirek, you’ll see for yourself,” Rainbow nodded. “There’s no redeeming quality in that big jerk; he’s nothing but a monster.”
“Say no more, everypony,” Twilight interrupted. “We’ve got a princess to save.”
She proceeded to walk ahead while the rest of the Mane Six, including Spike, Apple, Raven, and Donkey followed behind. Shrek merely shook his head, still refusing to believe a word they said.
“Little ponies…” Shrek groaned in annoyance.
He then continued walking to follow the Mane Six, Spike and Donkey. As they pressed on, Donkey slowly grew more afraid the deeper into the keep they went.
“You afraid?” Donkey whispered to Shrek.
“No…” Shrek replied.
“But…”
“SHHHHHH!” Shrek hushed loudly.
“Oh good, me neither.”
When Donkey realized that the rest of the group started to get a bit ahead of him, he gasped in fear and quickly raced to catch up. He walked alongside Fluttershy, who much like him showed fear in her face.
“I know I stood up to a dragon back in Equestria, so you’d think I’d be more brave,” Fluttershy whispered fearfully. “But who knows how scary a full grown dragon is here?”
“I hear ya Fluttershy,” Donkey agreed. “Cause there’s nothin’ wrong with bein’ afraid. Fear’s a sensible response to an unfamiliar situation. Unfamiliar dangerous situation, I might ad. With a dragon that breathes fire and eats knights and breathes fire. It sure doesn’t mean you’re a coward if you’re a little scared. I sure as heck ain’t no coward. I know that.”
Donkey suddenly crashed into a pile of knight remains, knocking over a skeleton whose helmet landed on Donkey’s head. Donkey and Fluttershy watched as the skeleton head fell off, and they gasped in fear. The sudden noise made everyone else, minus Shrek, jump back a tad.
“Sweet Celestia darling, are you trying to give us all heart attacks?” Rarity whispered angrily.
“Donkey, two things, okay?” Shrek spoke agitated. “Shut… Up.”
“Sorry…” Fluttershy whimpered.
“Oh hey, this’ll come in handy,” Rainbow replied, taking a helmet off the ground. “Hope it’s fire-proof.”
“Sure, the helmet is,” Applejack remarked. “Can’t say the same about its previous owner.”
“Alright, now go over there and see if you can find any stairs,” Shrek instructed Donkey, grabbing the helmet on his head. “I’ll be back in a bit.”
“Stairs?” Donkey questioned. “I thought we was lookin’ for the princess.”
“The princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower,” Shrek responded, collecting and putting on pieces of armor.
“Actually Donkey, Shrek does have a fairy valid point,” Apple spoke up. “In every fairytale in our homeland, princesses are usually kept in high towers.”
“That’s right,” Raven nodded. “So we need to get to the highest level possible and the only way is by climbing the stairs.”
“What makes you think she’ll be there?” Donkey retorted.
“I read it in a book once,” Shrek concluded.
Shrek placed the rest of the armor on himself and positioned the face guard of the helmet. He then turned toward the ponies and the two princesses.
“So… who’s going with Donkey or sticking with me?” He asked them.
“Are you nuts?!” Rarity gasped in horror. “Have you ever lived through a horror movie? Never split up in a creepy old castle!”
Just as Twilight was about to respond, she noticed something from the corner of her eye. Two individuals, a Lannister Knight and a Black Knight, moving toward what appeared to be the dungeons. She remembered the knights back when Tirek lead them to Ponyville, to distract the heroes while he traveled to this world. One thing was certain: If the knights were around, Tirek was close by.
“Actually… I think we should investigate this way,” Twilight pointed.
“Why?” Shrek questioned.
“Yeah… why?” Spike agreed.
“I just feel we can cover more ground this way,” Twilight responded. “There’s plenty of castle to look through and we can’t be too sure what’s waiting for us. If we all split up, we’ll be able to accomplish more.”
Applejack narrowed her eyes toward her friend, already having a feeling she was lying. Nevertheless, since it was coming from Twilight, there was a reason behind it. Shrek, meanwhile, just shrugged it off.
“Whatever,” He shrugged. “I’ll go this way, you all go that way, and Donkey can go looking for the stairs.”
“Wait?! You mean by myself?!” Donkey cringed.
“Unless you’d rather come slay the dragon and rescue the princess?”
“Uhhh… no, I’m cool,” Donkey nodded. “You handle the dragon; I’ll handle the stairs. Stairs is fine. I’ll find those stairs. I’ll whip their butt too. Those stairs won’t know which way they’re goin’.”
“Just don’t get into any trouble!” Rainbow called out.
“What kind of trouble can I get into?” Donkey scoffed. “I’m just lookin’ for stairs. Have a little faith.”
With that said, Donkey walked off in the other direction while Shrek made his way further into the keep. Meanwhile, Twilight quickly made her way toward the direction the knights had gone while all her friends, including Raven and Apple, quickly ran to catch up to her.
“What’s goin’ on Twi?” Applejack asked. “What’s got us headin’ this way fer?”
“I saw two knights heading in this direction,” Twilight responded. “My guess is if we follow them, they’ll lead us to Tirek.”
“Wait a minute, you saw knights?” Raven questioned. “What kind?”
“The same ones Tirek used as a distraction back in our world just to come here,” Twilight responded. “One was wearing dark leather-like armor and the other wore red-and-gold armor.”
This stopped Apple and Raven in their tracks as they skidded to a stop, causing every pony else to stop as well.
“Did you say… red-and-gold armor?” Raven asked.
“Yeah, why?” Twilight raised her brow.
“Because that’s the armor the people who attacked our home were wearing!” Apple responded.
“How is that even possible?” Raven asked. “We don’t even know a thing about these knights we’re chasing and we’ve all had altercations with them.”
“Can we figure that out after we catch up with them?” Rainbow asked urgently. “I’ve been itching to beat the Tartarus out of Tirek all day!”
Everyone looked amongst themselves for a moment or two, then quickly proceeded in an effort to catch up with the knights. Whatever questions they had about the entire scenario, all of it had to wait for now. Finding Tirek… that was their priority.
<>
Meanwhile, Donkey kept talking to himself as he pushed his way through a giant set of doors in his ongoing search for stairs.
“I’m gonna take drastic steps,” Donkey spoke to himself. “Kick it to the curb. Don’t mess with me. I’m the stair master. I’ve mastered the stairs. I wish I had a step right here. I’d step all over it.”
Little did Donkey know, behind a broken wall, a giant eye opened and spotted the unsuspecting intruder.
<>
Up in the tower, much like every day, Princess Fiona was in the midst of singing her song of hope, though this time with a tambourine…
Fiona (Sings):
I know it’s today… oo-oo-oo-oo…
I know it’s today… oo-oo-oo-oo…
I know it’s today… oo-oo-oo-oo…
“Helloooo!! Anyone up there?!”
Fiona stopped mid-song, her tambourine falling out of her hand. Slowly, she turned around toward the window, took a peek outside… and her eyes widened with shock. She could feel a panic building up as thoughts raced in her head. ‘Is this really it? After all these years?’ she thought. Without a moment’s pause, she raced around her room trying to straighten everything before her savior arrived.
“Shouldn’t you toss down some hair or something?” The voice shouted.
<>
Elsewhere, Shrek was exploring the grounds when he spotted the light in the window of a tower.
“Well, at least we know where the princess is,” Shrek told himself. “But where’s the…”
<>
“DRAGON!!!”
Donkey’s scream echoed as he took off running, narrowly dodging the fiery breath… of the dragon! The beast pursued Donkey, stomping along a pile of knight remains in its way. Shrek turned around just as Donkey barreled toward him, the dragon close behind. With the target in sight, the beast took a deep breath and fired a stream of flame toward them.
“Donkey, look out!” Shrek shouted.
Shrek managed to push Donkey out of the way, barely dodging the Dragon’s fireball. Donkey dropped to the floor to avoid another blast, which managed to singed the tuft of his tail. The dragon toward over the whimpering Donkey, ready to feast upon his flesh… when it felt something grab its tail. The beast turned around just as Shrek grabbed hold of it.
“Got ya!” Shrek called out.
With the dragon distracted, Donkey raced away to safety. In the meantime, the dragon swung its tail back and forth while Shrek tried to hang on. Finally, after one swing, the dragon launched the ogre into the air. He screamed in midair, flying overhead until he crashed through the roof of the tallest tower and into Fiona’s room, where the princess laid in her bed and looked at his unconscious form.
With one threat disposed of, the Dragon focused its attention on Donkey. It breathed fire toward him, forcing him out of hiding and onto a stone bridge. The dragon proceeded to knock down various portions of the bridge until Donkey was left with only one lone pillar to stand on. Trapped, defenseless, and scared beyond words, Donkey could only stand still and look up as the Dragon towered over the tiny mule and growled as he desperately tried to find a way out of this mess.
“No. Oh, no, No!” Donkey whimpered shakily.
The dragon roared, ready to consume Donkey in a single gulp.
“Wait a minute!”
The dragon paused, looking at him inquisitively. It was then Donkey realized that if he was to avoid being the key ingredient of ‘Donkey Pot Pie’, he was going to flatter his way out. He proceeded to nervously tap his hooves on the pillar, as ukelele music could be heard in the background.
Donkey (Sings):
My, what big teeth you have
They’re so sparkling white.
I bet you hear this from all of your food,
But you must bleach at night.
Is that a hint of minty freshness?
Oh, I am scared to death.
I like a dragon with a dazzlin’ smile,
And Tic-Tac on your breath.
Oh, whoa, whoa,
Don’t kill me.. Dragon with the pretty teeth?
For a moment the Dragon seemed to smile, perhaps appeared flattered by the Donkey’s compliments. Course, by this point, Donkey was starting to run out of lyrics.
“And you know what else? You know what else?” Donkey spoke quickly. “You’re—you’re—”
All of a sudden, the dragon leaned forward and gazed at Donkey, revealing its long eyelashes, lipstick on its mouth, and a lighter pink shade of scales. Suddenly it was all clear to Donkey.
“—a girl dragon!” Donkey realized. “Oh, sure! I mean, of course you’re a girl dragon. You’re just reeking of feminine beauty.”
The dragon fluttered her eyes at him, touched by the little creature’s sweet words. Only Donkey hadn’t entirely put it together.
“What’s the matter with you?” Donkey asked curiously. “You got something in your eye?”
Dragon blew a heart-shaped smoke ring toward Donkey, who coughed a bit as it dawned on him.
“Ohh… oh… oh… man, I’d really love to stay, but you know, I’m, uh… I’m an asthmatic, and I don’t know if it’d work out if you’re gonna blow smoke rings and stuff. SHREK!!!”
Dragon picked him up by the tail in her mouth and happily carried him off. It was on this day that Dragon knew exactly how she was going to spend her day. After many lonely years guarding the princess and extinguishing every intrusive knight that stepped onto her turf, at long last she found someone to love… take hold of… velvet glove him…
Velvet glove him…?
Finally, this Dragon would sweep this little Donkey up into the sky, to keep for her very own. To squeeze him, tease him, please him, and have herself a big ol’ honkin’ sloppy, gloppy cherry on the toppy piece of donkey pot pie.
“No! Shrek!” Donkey cried out. “Twilight! Spike! ANYONE!!!”
<>
While this went on, the Equestrians, along with Apple and Raven, followed the Black Knight and the Lannister Knight deep down the depths of the dungeons. Like the rest of the castle, the walls and ceiling were crumbling in disarray making it rather difficult to navigate. However, they were determined to catch up with the knights, the pair seemingly unaware they were followed. The whole time, they’d been conversing amongst themselves.
“I don’t understand why we need them,” The Black Knight spoke confused. “We should slit their throats and be done with them.”
“You want to be the one to tell the Queens you disregarded their orders?” The Lannister Knight asked. “We’re to keep them alive so long as the Queens deem necessary.”
“Well, I still don’t like it—”
Eventually, the two knights came to a halt upon a large stone wall with a single torch protruding from the wall. The girls and Spike hid themselves as they watched one knight pull down on the torch and a large section of the wall slid away revealing a secret passage. The two knights walked through as the passageway quickly sealed behind them.
When the coast was clear, the Equestrians and two princesses quickly raced over to the wall.
“Where do you think that passage leads to?” Fluttershy asked nervously.
“With our luck… trouble,” Spike answered.
“Let’s not keep it waiting,” Rainbow said determined.
She floated up and was about to pull down the torch when Applejack yanked her back to the ground by her tail.
“Hold up there, hun,” Applejack interrupted. “We can’t go burstin’ in there without a plan.”
“Applejack’s right,” Rarity agreed. “Who knows how many knights are in there? Not to mention Tirek could drain us of our magic at any time.”
“And it’s not like big meanie pants has a surprise party waiting for us,” Pinkie pouted. “Or even the entire cast of ‘Centaur World’… though Tirek in Centaur World… that would make for an interesting fanfic.”
“Any ideas, Twi?” Rainbow groaned.
“Hmm… I think it’s time to use that invisibility spell Celestia and Professor Dumbledore taught me,” Twilight suggested.
“I thought you said it only worked so muggles couldn’t see us,” Spike shot back.
“Well, from the looks of those guards, I highly doubt any of them are magical anyway,” Twilight pointed out. “At least if we use the spell, we can take some of them out and weaken their ranks. That way, Tirek has no one to guard him and we can all work together to take him out.”
The remainder of the group pondered for a moment until they all nodded in agreement. If they could at least remove the knights, it would help thin out the opposition. Twilight proceeded to charge her horn and just when she was about to cast the invisibility spell…
“Guys, watch out!” Raven yelled.
The next thing any of the ponies or Spike knew, a large iron net fell on top of them and trapped them. Based on past experiences, they could tell immediately it was the special metal that counteracted their abilities, making it nearly impossible to escape.
“OH, COME ON!!!” Rainbow yelled. “AGAIN?!”
“How does this keep happening to us?!” Spike shouted loudly.
“I blame this all on the lazy writing,” Pinkie answered.
Suddenly, a wicked laughter caused the entire group to turn their heads as none other than Tirek himself emerged from behind a corner. Behind him was a whole garrison of knights, all either drawing swords or aiming their crossbows directly at the entire group.
“Well, well, well… you pathetic little ponies really are predictable,” Tirek spoke mockingly. “Instead of following that stupid donkey or that lumbering green oaf, you just can’t help but come looking for me. You’d realize now that sort of thinking spells your doom ‘every’ time.”
He turned his attention toward the two teenage princess, who looked shocked over what was happening around them.
“And if I’m not mistaken, you’re the brats who somehow managed to escape the destruction that burned your world to ashes,” Tirek smirked. “My two new colleagues aren’t particularly happy you managed to escape them.”
“H-H-How did you…” Apple stuttered.
“Perhaps my new associate can explain,” Tirek gestured beside him.
From behind the centaur and the knights, none other than Venrys Baratheon stepped out. He laughed at the mere sight before him.
(Click the link)
https://m.youtube.com/shorts/zt-rRkbi-zw
“Thought you could run, did you?” He laughed. “When my Queen sets her sights on a target, or two in this case, there’s nowhere to hide.”
Raven growled in anger, remember Venrys from the night of the Red Thronecoming. How he stabbed Headmaster Grimm in the back, ordering all the guards to cut down all their friends one-by-one. As her anger grew, she could feel the magic coursing through her veins.
“You… you did this!” She seethed, through gritted teeth. “You murdered our friends and destroyed our home! I promised myself that if I ever saw you again, I’d destroy you for what you did to my life!”
By this point, her magic actually morphed around her as it made her hair burn purple and her eyes glowed brightly. This, however, just made Venrys chuckle more.
“If I were you little girl, I’d ease that temper if you saw what I’ve got hidden away.”
Hearing this, Apple’s eyes went wide. Quickly, she jumped in front of her best friend trying to calm her down.
“Look at me Raven, look at me,” She spoke calmly. “Take a deep breath and calm down.”
Raven wanted nothing more than to blast this creep and all who pledged to stand beside him. But staring into the cool blue eyes of her friend, somehow it managed to relax her a bit. Apple turned back to face Venrys.
“What do you mean ‘hidden away’?” She asked calmly.
“Pull the torch and find out,” Venrys suggested.
Apple, having no idea what to make of his suggestion, nonetheless slowly walked over and pulled the torch to open the hidden passageway. When the wall slide aside, the Equestrians, and especially Apple and Raven, gasped at the very sight toward the other side.
Inside stood another garrison of guards in the middle of what looked like a torture chamber. In the center were four wooden posts with four individuals tied to them with burlap sacks over their heads. The guards inside removed each burlap sack from each individual, one by one, revealing four individuals Apple and Raven presumed to be dead.
Briar Beauty, Madeline Hatter, Ashlynn Ella, and Cerise Hood.
“Apple?” Madeline spoke weakly. “Raven?”
“Maddie?!” Apple and Raven gasped.
“Didn’t see that one comin’,” Applejack admitted.