//------------------------------// // 11 - Crazy Pony // Story: Soft Reset - A Novice Chronomancer's Guide to Tempomancy // by Foxvolt //------------------------------// CRAZY PONY My dreams the last couple of days have been... Strange. Not quite in a way that they're unquantifiable or unexplainable like many ponies' dreams are, It's just less creative or warped than they usually present themselves, even for me. It's more akin to memories and reconstructed situations I've read or heard about secondhoof; A changeling attack on Canterlot, encountering a Hydra in the Everfree, talking to Papers in the market- It all just blends into a mesh of possibility and experience so strange that the line in the sand between them begins to blur. It's over in a flash, thankfully, and I slowly wake up with a clear head. That won't last long unabated, so like I've done the last two mornings I immediately whip up an Aville's Cure-All and target myself with it. I sure am getting a lot of mileage out of that lately, I don't think I've cast this spell so often since my last year in Canterlot Magic Academy. That accelerated Advanced Thaumaturgy final was the first and last time I pulled a 96-hour study session. The effect of the spell is nearly immediate, and the familiar tingling numbness spreads through my body, dampening the would-be flare-up of incomprehensible mind-shattering pain my new temporal lobe comes with. I try not to think too much about it, existentialism first thing in the morning rarely makes for a good start to the day, I know that even without neural transplants. I finally force open my eyelids and see sunlight filling the library beneath the alcove of my room, much to the shagrin of the now-pegasus guard hoofing through what looks to be an atlas on a side table with a dampened interest. I must have slept through their shift change, but given that it's Luna's Night Guard that's hardly a surprise, they likely didn't make a sound all night. My eyes fall on Spike's empty bed, and I'm not sure I'm ready to dig up that line of thought yet either so I roll over to my other side facing the window. The bat pony Rainbow Dash got into a tussle with last night isn't in her corner. Either she got bored and moved or she's on the same rotation as the other two or three ponies cycling in and out of here. It would make more sense for there to be a stagger, having a singular moment of mass change in stations all at once is the perfect hole in any security system anypony with ill intent would be happy to exploit. I groan as Celestia's daylight pounds against my eyelids, forcefully suggesting I get up for the day. I suck in a big breath and arch my back before throwing myself into a sitting position, leaning forward over my haunches and just sort of existing for a minute. I hear the faint clink and tinks of armor as the guard ponies register that I'm awake and glance in my direction, but I don't pay it any more mind in hopes they won't in return. My hopes are dashed as I hear the quiet wingbeats of the guard below, followed by a firm metallic ta-clink of his horseshoes touching down on the floor of my alcove, a gentle breeze stirring the fresh air my tree home so generously provides. "Twilight Sparkle, the Nightmother has commanded to prepare you for departure once you're coherent." His brassy tone wipes some of the lingering sleep from my senses, and I suck in another large breath, hold it for a moment, then slowly let it out just like Cadence taught me as a filly. "I'm awake, but I'll need a few minutes to get to 'coherent,' if that's alright with her royal nightmotherliness?" I give him a half-amused side-eye, but he doesn't seem to find the humor in it and just continues to stare blankly back at me. All of Luna's guards are stalwart deadpans, got it. I've got one last sigh in me and I give it my all, even adding a little head roll for emphasis as I stretch my neck with a satisfying pop! I pull the blanket away and swing my hind legs off the bed, backing away until I'm forced to bear my own weight on all fours and solidify the terrible truth that I am, in fact, up for the day. That seems to satisfy him, as he flutters his wings and hops back off the ledge to the lobby below, hovering his way to the ground and leaving me a minute amount of privacy to conduct my morning ritual. I make my way downstairs the more conventional, architecturally-intended way, and over the span of about three seconds I have the makings for a fresh brew of grounded coffee evenly measured and in place. It takes another two to put the items away and start the apparatus that will eventually deliver me to that sweet state of 'coherent,' and I head to the bathroom in the meantime. The only room in the Library I can actually be alone, or at least I assume so. I could cast a detection spell to see if there are any magical sensors or scrying spells in place, but honestly? I think I'd rather live in ignorant bliss even if there were. I pick up the toothbrush in my hoof and wrap the toothpaste container in my telekinesis, applying the perfect jolt of force against it to apply just enough paste to evenly cover the bristles without the goop trailing over the edge. It's a silly ritual, but I've done it since I was old enough to magically manipulate things, it was one of my first real tests of how finely I could manipulate objects in a telekinetic field. I punctured more than a few toothpaste containers as a filly, but mom and dad seemed to understand that it was just an expected part of raising a unicorn, having both been raised in all-unicorn houses themselves, not to mention Shining probably used more force than necessary when he was learning his fundamental; it's a little quirk he still has to date, I think. Come to think of it, I haven't seen him cast anything but a Barrier spell in a long time, and those benefit from overexerting. Huh, I guess it kind of makes sense why he was such a natural with them now that I think about it. I'm pulled out of my tangent thoughts by the smell of freshly grinded and brewed black coffee permeating the air. I let the smell light up my endorphins and with a quick swish of water I trot nose-first back out and towards the kitchen, it's just moments away now, I can literally taste it. Okay, well, not literally. The opposite of literally, actually. I can categorically and with great enthusiasm mentally recreate the sensation that drinking a fresh cup of coffee will bring me when I drink it. Happy? When I open my eyes, however, there's a small hiccup in my plans, literally, and that's in its' correct context because in my kitchen stands Pinkie Pie rocking back and forth on all four hooves almost nose-to-nose with the pegasus guard with a mug of coffee on the counter next to her, bouncing at irregular intervals. My heart drops and I feel the chills run all throughout my body as the calamities that could befall this world if those two were to come into contact rise from the depths of my mind, and I'm certain it's not my ailment on this one. I try to keep my composure, but two shakes of a tail and a floppy left ear give Pinkie the foresight to wheel around and gasp before I can mentally plan for how to extrapolate that mug from the pink party pony. "TWILIGHT!" She screams, again literally. Oh no, I'm too late. One moment she's in front of the pegasus, and in the time between my eyes closing and them opening again my vision is encompassed entirely of bubblegum-pink mane and Pinkie's almost comically-dilated eyes as she presses her nose and forehead against mine. "Quiet here was just telling me all about your adventure into the Everfree Forest and the time travel with Star Swirl the Bearded and did you really use a Soulgem and if you did does that make you a zombie-pony now or does that not happen for like a gazillion years OH OH He said you snore REALLY loud too, that's okay, I snore too! Except it's more fun, like this!" She dives to my side and I reach out to catch her in my magic before she slams against the floor in a panic, but I'm too slow. Instead of the floor I expected beside me, though, there's a red and gold couch that has a striking resemblance to the one Rarity always seems to have on hand. That wasn't there less than three seconds ago. Pinkie, in standard defiance of logic and reason, throws herself across it and immediately falls asleep with a forehoof over her eyes, with her head rolling off the back of the hoof rest. She breathes in a huge breath, and as she exhales the blaringly loud trumpeting sound of an Elephant fills the library. I blink, slowly, which turns out to be a mistake because now she's on the ceiling with a jackhammer. "PIN- I mean, Pinkie, we've talked about what could happen if you drank Coffee!" One worry substitutes itself for another, however, as my mind informs me that I missed the part where Pinkie knows everything. "And who told you all that?!" She raises the Jackhammer over her head and she herself instead begins vibrating, traveling across the ceiling as she does so, and I have to crane my neck to watch her carefully, making a concentrated effort to not blink again, no matter what. With a heavy vibrato in her voice, she yells back "I just said, silly, Quiet told me~e~e~e!" I glance over at the pegasus guard, and he stares back blankly at me, offering no further input. With the impromptu construction work happening on the inside of my roof and my hopes for saving Ponyville from a caffeine-jacked Pinkie Pie lost to the wind, I back away a few steps, then turn and trot into the kitchen to pour myself a mug. As I pass the counter, though, I see the mug that's already there is empty and bone-dry. That's weird, but weird is normal with her. I shrug and raise the coffee pot into the air with my magic, and I confirm that it's still full to the brim. I glance back to the pony jackhammer dancing across my ceiling, then back to the pot, and shake my head as I discard the line of thought in favor of drinking my fill and seeing what the pegasus wanted with me. Pinkie will be down soon. Maybe. The taste is bitter and very potent, and I scrunch my nose up a bit as it washes over my tongue and down my throat, still scalding hot and burning just a touch on the way down. It feels fantastic. Alertness floods into my sedated mind and lets me think clearly without the natural overwhelm of the intrusive thoughts, and my tail jitters a bit while I roll my shoulders and take the first real breath of the day. And then it hits me. Pinkie didn't drink anything, she smelled it. Dry mug, strong aroma, particulate scattering in accordance with entropy carries trace amounts of the stuff into the air and into her system. By the sisters if this is what happens when she just smells it I don't want to think about- "Fixed your roof!" Pinkie announces from below me, her head poking out from my forehooves and smiling brightly back up at me. "Waugh!" I shout lamely, trampling over my own hooves as I attempt to simultaneously step away from her while not stepping on her, the remaining half a mug of coffee spilling into the air in the process as I lose concentration of my magic. Time slows to a crawl and I hear the comically drawn-out gasp of pinkie below me. My hooves as they fail me and I begin to trip to my side, and the miracle liquid flies through the air and towards the ground where Pinkie's still laying. I'm scared that she'll get burned if it lands on her, but in an even more horrifying prospect I see her open her mouth as a drop of it is on a direct crash course with her face. In the final moment before it all comes crashing down, I feel my horn automatically light up, casting a familiar spell that can prevent the destruction of reality as I know it. - - - - I fall hard on my side, and it knocks the wind out of me for a few seconds as my relatively frail body recuperates from the blow. I'm not sure if some of the coffee spilled on me or if it's the adrenaline, but I feel an unnatural heat dancing across my skin. I pat at the feeling with a forehoof, but there's no relief from the sensation. I sit up and shake my head, looking over at my friend. "Sorry Pinkie, I don't know what I was... doing..." I trail off. Pinkie Pie is still laying on the floor, mouth wide open and awaiting a drop of the all-mighty caffeine to reach her, but it's still flying through the air. Or rather, it's still stuck in the air. The world around me is in sepia, all semblance of color gone. It's as if the light is slowly draining out of it, fading to black like a burning picture. The dark brown liquid stuck in the air slowly grows darker and darker, until it's a solid black. The surroundings begin to darken too, and I quickly lose track of the borders of the planks beneath my hooves, the detail of the objects around me, and the only sound is the rising ringing in my ears screaming a high-pitched cry as if in some kind of rebellion. The sound snaps me back to my senses in the bleak and rapidly fading stand-still world, and adrenaline comes rushing in for the second time in as many minutes, pushing me into action. What the buck what the buck what the buck is happening?! In a panic and with no other direction on how to focus my efforts I lurch forward and attempt to bat the single drop heading towards Pinkie out of the air, but as I do it's like moving through molasses. My body responds fine, but it's like I'm wading through water instead of air. When my hoof does reach the liquid falling in place, though, it's as if it's bolted into place. I press harder, and it responds with the tiniest nudge, but it's in the realm of millimeters. The light is still fading, and the heat is building on the surface of my skin now, I can't help but begin to pat and itch all over in an attempt to locate the source of the awful feeling. With no recourse and no idea what to do, I begin to roll on the ground as quickly as the weighted air will allow, as if there were an invisible fire burning that I might be able to put out. It doesn't help, and I begin to panic as the heat slowly ebbs into pain, and a quick frenzied look at the world around me confirms that all that remains is a fading white outline of the shafts of light that were shining in through the windows, everything else too faded to see now as darkness claims the building, and all of us with it. There's the last vestiges of white as I try my hardest to remain calm. Don't panic, the worst thing you can do is panic. Easier said than done, though, and the world slips into a realm of infinite, absolute black. The beating in my chest is getting harder to control. I can feel it but I can't see or hear it. I don't hear the sound of my hooves against any floor. My chest starts to heave as my breaths are quicker and more forced. Stay calm. I try to cast a light spell, but I can't even feel the spell form, and the darkness continues to pervade everything. Teleport. Cyr's Seeing. Light. Aville's Greater Restoration. Nothing works. I scream. Logical thought has left me and I begin to hyperventilate, squeezing my eyes shut and rolling around frantically on the ground, lashing out at the darkness in a futile attempt to find something, anything- And I wince as my left forehoof collides hard with what feels like hard wood with a sickening crick! I can't see if it was my hoof or the surface that cracked, but between the sharp pain cracking through my leg and the warm wet feeling that falls onto my other hoof as I cradle it against my chest, the higher functioning parts of my mind that still work inform me that I lost that exchange. I can't tell if my eyes are open or closed, but I try to squeeze them shut anyways. I curl into a ball and just try to keep oxygen coming in, cradling my likely fractured hoof, confused and crying and screaming and burning and being shaken and somepony's yelling and- My bloodshot eyes shoot open and my chest is heaving massive shaky breaths. The ringing is gone, and my skin doesn't feel like I'm boiling from the inside anymore, and there's pink. There's Pink! There's a massive weight on top of me preventing me from rolling anymore, but as my senses return I quickly make out the form of Pinkie laying on all fours in front of me. Her mane's deflated and she looks incredibly concerned, it's an uncommon and unsettling look to see on her. I blink the tears out of my eyes as best I can and turn my head upwards to see a massive earth pony in black and purple chitin armor pinning me to the ground with his barrel and forehooves. Oh, not a huge fan of that. I take another half a second to empty my mind before the spell, then blink out of existence from beneath him and reappear about a foot to the left. I glance right and see him tumble forward, but with trained reflexes he's able to catch himself on a knee and rebalance, head snapping over to me suspiciously. "What happened-" "Are you okay-" "Twilight Sparkle-" The three of us all say at once, cutting each other off. It's at that point my eye twitches, and a deep stinging pain from my left forehoof begins to reassert its' control over my attention. I look down and gasp, there's a massive crack in the keratin at the base of it, and a small amount of blood is trickling out onto the wood floor. Their gazes follow mine, and there's a few moments of silence before I look up at them, still staring at my wound. "What happened?" I ask again, swallowing down the panic trying to rear its' head at the sight of my own blood. Not right now, I need to stay calm. Everything's fine, there's a perfectly reasonable explanation here. The earth pony opens his mouth, but Pinkie's faster to respond as she shifts to face me, her mane still the flat, deflated shadow of itself. "You tripped and started falling, then you lit up your horn and did your crazy teleporting magic, but when you came back you started kicking and screaming and-" She looks over towards the cabinets, and I follow her gaze until I spot a crack in the one beneath the sink, along the edge near the latch. I hadn't teleported until just now, and there was at least thirty seconds of coherency between the horrible experience I just had and when I started rolling on the ground. Pinkie and the Pegasus guard hadn't moving, neither was anything else. A nightmare realm where light and color faded to darkness, and randomly lashing out? I glance around and confirm that the pegasus guard is nowhere to be seen. "Pinkie," I start, leaning forward and cupping her chin with my intact hoof, leveling my eyes to hers. "You're absolutely, 100% certain I teleported when I was falling?" I ask, trying my best to not pressure either specific answer. Not that she would lie to me, but impartiality is a fundamental principle of the scientific method. "Uh-huh." She nods her head against my hoof, but she still looks concerned. I let the hoof go lax and stare down at the fracture in my left forehoof, the impact in the cabinet, and the blood slowly pooling on the floor. There's only one explanation. - - - - "I assure you that your mental state is... Within acceptable parameters of deviation." Luna furrows her brow at me, then adds "As it usually is." Okay, going to ignore that. "Princess, I'm telling you, something's wrong. What else could explain the gap in my memory, the lucid delusions? How I acted towards Spike? I really think I'm-" I stop myself, leaning forward and instead whispering "I think I'm a crazy pony!" She still has her stoic and distant persona up, probably because she's still mad, but looking down at me as we sit across the table from each other I can see there's some sign of sympathy as she huffs and her expression softens. Her shoulders and wings loosen up just a bit and she judges me silently for a few moments. We're in my dining room of all places. My old dining room, back at home- My old home- in Canterlot. The order from Luna was for her guards to escort me by chariot back to Canterlot at daybreak and await a summons to the castle. That worked out pretty well for me, because I think it's possible I'm losing grip on my sanity, which could be disastrous if I cast the wrong spell at the wrong time. I'm trying to keep the finer parts of my concerns quiet so that mom doesn't hear through the floorboards. She came up with an excuse to be upstairs when Luna showed up and started staring at me silently, declining any offerings of tea or biscuits to soften her mood. Bless her for trying. She's too big for any of our furniture, so she elected to sit on the floor in front of the elevated dining room table. Even on the tall seat I'm still shorter than her by nearly a head. Now it's just the two of us, my mother, and a few guards stationed outside the door to the house, and I don't think Luna's taking me seriously. "Twilight Sparkle, you are a great deal eccentric, unorthodox, and at times, yes, a bit... Unhinged, but-!" She cuts me off before I can get a word in edge-wise, "I have seen many a crazy pony, and you are not one of them, I assure you." She lowers her head a bit and leans on the table, looking back at my level. The table creeks in protest under the weight of the moon goddess, but stands strong. "The 'gap' that you describe was merely a blur in perception, though you were awake you were not coherent in your panic. Many ponies in moments of great stress or mania will fail to remember actions they took during it, you should be aware of that." She keeps staring at me expectantly, and I nod. She's right, but... "This is different!" I insist, pushing the envelope but trying my best to do so in a respectful tone. "Different in what way?" I stop, and I furrow my own brows. How was it different? Surely I of all ponies was above the possibility of not remembering myself rolling on the ground in a completely panicked state, because that only happens to other ponies? Was that my line of reasoning? I know it's different, but... "I- It just is, alright?" I offer, but when I look up at her she doesn't say anything, and I slowly look back down at the table between us, my eyes tracing the simple blue-on-white pattern printed onto the linen. It makes sense, she's probably right. I got spooked, teleported on instinct, and panicked. "It is most unlike you to make proclamations without evidence, Twilight. You've been under a great deal of stress this last week, in many parts due to our own negligence. For that, I offer my apologies." I blink a couple times and bring my face up to look at her, but she's looking over at a family picture framed on the other side of the dining room, not ready to look back yet. "It is understandable that in such a prolonged period of stress, somepony would mistakenly act out against the ones she loves." My mind flashes to Spike, the cold rain, the feeling of physical exhaustion, his fear as I was snarling at him. That's something I'd never ever do in my right mind, not in a thousand years, no matter how tired or cranky or stressed... But I did. Maybe I just don't want to believe that something as small as stress would cause me to snap at him, or act violently, or maybe I don't want to have an easy out like 'Oh, sorry, I was under a lot of stress.' If that's the best I have to say, how can I expect him to forgive me? There's a light pressure on my recently-mended hoof, and with a start I look down to see a dark blue hoof over mine. I look up and Luna looks back at me with a small but distant smile playing on her lips, and her words were much softer this time. "Believe me, Twilight, I understand what it is like to act against those you love under the pressure of expectation and duty. He will forgive you, as will I... In time." The smile fades as she purses her lips a bit, then she raises her head and withdraws the comforting hoof from my own with a deep draw of air through her nose. Composure regained, her voice returned to normal and I just sit there in awe as the realization of what she's really talking about hits me. "I... Thanks Pr- Luna. I think... I think you're probably right, and I probably needed to hear that." I look back down at the linen, lost in thought again as my mind catalogues and files away the entire encounter to play it back later, whether I want it to or not. "You are most welcome, Twilight. However," She rises from the table, angling her head down slightly to prevent her horn from scraping against the ceiling. "We must be away, preparations must be made for your healing before I raise the moon, lest we postpone it another day. And before then, the nobles of the northern Pranceway district demanded an afternoon audience despite Day Court being barred save emergencies..." She grumbled. I chuckle a little bit, remembering her disdain for politics, but something about that catches my ear. "You're holding Day Court? What about Night Court?" I ask without thinking. She gives me a sideways look, then sighs as she makes her way to the door. I hop off the seat and walk with her as she answers. "Night Court sees nary a dozen ponies per week since our return, Day Court remains the most important interaction between the Crowns and the commonpony. With sister..." She pauses, seeing my ears flatten at the mention of my mentor. "... Indisposed, it is required of us to take her stead." I look up at her and I see the sting in her eyes, and I wonder how awful it must feel to only hold public importance when the princess- the other princess- is away. For the similarities we share, that's not one I've ever felt nearly as much as she has. I was born and raised a prodigy, but for Luna... "I'm sure everypony appreciates what you do, especially this." I suddenly pipe up, surprised at how easily the words come. The lunar goddess beside me looks down at me for a moment with a curious look, and I shrink under her gaze, worried I said the wrong thing. I don't speak for everypony, why would I imply that I know how everypony feels? That was stupid, I should apologize and- I'm shocked out of my mental ramblings as Luna leans down and presses her nose into my cheek, nuzzling my mane for just a brief moment before pulling away and turning to the door. She ignites her horn and grabs the handle in her magic, pulling it open and heading to walk outside. "Thank you, Twilight. Perhaps we needed to hear that as well." She stands in the doorway for another moment without looking at me, then continues outside pulling the door closed behind her. I stand in the living room with the lingering phantom feeling of the contact dancing across my cheek. There's another, stranger feeling building up, but it's lighter and in my chest instead of the sinking pit in my stomach I've been used to. "Honey, what was that?" I hear from behind me. I spin around, and my mother's on the stairs leading to the second floor, peeking around the corner with her eyes wide and mouth open. I start to open mine, only to find I'm also wearing the exact same expression. I shake the stupid look off my face with a smile and glance back at the door, feeling like maybe I made a friend during this whole experience after all. "Good news, mom. I'm not crazy."