Not My Destiny

by Smayds

Chapter 10: Planned and Unplanned

With a small burst of light, Twilight Sparkle appeared near the top of one of the many craggy mountains to the south of her adopted home. She sat down on the rough stony ground and stared at what she had done. Ponyville. Her home. Far more of a home than Canterlot had ever been. She and Celestia and Night Mare Moon - where had she come from? - had destroyed it, every building, every structure. The fires were mostly burned out now.

She was amazed that the fight had lasted as long as it had. She'd been constantly trying to run, to stop, to shout a warning, anything. Holding back her magic while trying to use it. Attacking her former mentor while desperately trying not to do so. And then, that threat! How could she possibly destroy the sun?! And why?! And what reason in all Equestria had she to threaten anypony with anything?! It was all so frustrating!

Ruffling and refolding her wings at her sides, she watched the two other alicorns, mere specks at this distance, flying rapidly away to the east. She sighed. She didn't want to know where they were going. Yes she did. No she didn't. Yes, she did.

"I hope everypony got away from the town okay," she said aloud.

"Why am I worried about that?" she replied to herself. "I'm going to kill them all anyway."

"I don't want to kill ANYPONY!"

"But of course I do," she reminded herself. "It's all I've ever wanted to do."

"No, no, I want to be Celestia's student! I want to study hard and make her proud of me and when I've learned everything I can I want to just live a nice quiet life with my friends and work in the library and maybe one day meet a handsome stallion and maybe get married and maybe even have little colts and fillies and then I can teach them everything I know and they'll be so smart and my friends will have their own beautiful little foals and we'll all live together just so happily for as long as we can and we'll get to watch them grow up into pretty and handsome young ponies and then -"

"I've never wanted any of that. All I want to do is just get on with this task of destroying the world. It's all I've ever wanted to do."

"I've NEVER wanted to do that!"

"I've wanted it for thousands of years."

This was a very strange thought for Twilight to think. She knew it was absolutely true. It was a completely undeniable fact that for thousands and thousands of years she'd wanted nothing more than to tear the world apart.

"But I just had my nineteenth birthday. Just a couple of months ago. In Canterlot. With my friends."

She had no answer to this.

"So," she asked herself, very slowly and deliberately, "if I've been wanting something for thousands of years, and I'm not even twenty years old yet..."

"DO IT!" she shouted to herself, leaping to her hooves, her mane and tail igniting into roaring sheets of flame. "NOW! I MUST DO IT NOW! FORGET THE ELEMENTS, FORGET...!" The fire was just as quickly extinguished as she sat back down.

"I'm not me, am I?"

A pause. Then, slowly, "of course I'm me. Who else would I be?"

"I don't think I am."

"But that's silly. How could I not be me?"

"Because I've got The Lunacy in my head, and I can't tell my thoughts from its thoughts."

She didn't reply to this.

"You've been inside my mind for weeks, suggesting, twisting... Making me try to kill my friends..."

"The Lunacy's in my head, but it can't control me. It's waiting for me to control it. It can't control my thoughts. It can only whisper ideas and suggestions to me. And I can ignore those ideas and suggestions, because they're not mine. So this thing I'm doing, killing my friends so the Elements can't be used, that's all my idea. And I want to do it."

"I don't want to do it. And I DO think it can affect my thoughts."

"No, I don't think so. All my thoughts really are my thoughts. I mean, this thought right now. That's my thought."

No it isn't.

"NO!" Twilight's eyes screwed up, her mouth twisting into a snarl. "I'VE WAITED TOO LONG FOR THIS!" With teeth and fear and hate and bloodlust, Night Mare Flare roared into the sky with flames erupting all around her. She flew straight up, thousands and thousands of feet high, leaving a blazing trail in the pitch-black night sky. She slowed. Paused.

Turned.

Headed straight down again towards the top of the mountain she'd just left.

She covered the two miles in just a fraction of a second. If she had been a pegasus, a thousand Rainbooms would have followed in her hypersonic wake.

She hit with enough force to blast the top two hundred feet of mountain into blazing molten fragments.

A large, graceful, lavender winged unicorn burst from the flaming, steaming ruins, horn blazing bright magenta and gold. She couldn't teleport, for her magic was busy elsewhere. She pivoted in the air, flying fast on large alicorn wings, heading straight towards the remains of Ponyville, smashing right through the thousands of rocks and boulders and glowing smears of molten rock that filled the air, all of her willpower focused on just one thing. She mustn't stop thinking about it. Just that one thing. Somewhere in the deserted, smashed, smoldering town before her, she would surely be able to find just one piece of relatively-unburned parchment or paper or even cardboard or...

Her mane flared into flames for a moment, then back into flowing sheets of indigo smoke.

Don't... stop... thinking... about... it...

Celestia swept down the long, winding cave within the cliffs under Canterlot. She saw a faint glow from around a bend up ahead. Slowing down and gently flapping to the floor, she walked in on a heated argument.

"We gotta go after 'em! This is silly an' crazy an' jus' downright dangerous! Can't think of what's gotten inter Fluttershy!"

"But if we can't get out, I mean, if you need wings to get down from the cave, then -"

"Oooh! Rarity! Can you teleport?"

"Me? Teleport?! You ARE crazy, Pinkie Pie! Of course I can't teleport! Precious few unicorns ever manage to teleport!"

"Well, Ah'm still gonna go have me a looksee. Maybe there's a way down without - Oh. Howdy, Princess."

"What has happened?" Celestia asked, concern crossing her forehead. She could only see three ponies.

Applejack, Rarity and Pinkie Pie were looking at the alicorn that had just landed behind Celestia with horror. They started to back away.

"No!" Night Mare Moon called. "You have nothing to fear!"

The three little ponies disagreed. They turned and fled further down into the cave at a full gallop.

"I'll get them, Little Sister," Celestia said, galloping off herself with her horn blazing the way.

Night Mare Moon sat down with a huff. Reminding herself very pointedly that her hate was only for The Lunacy, she stifled a growl and breathed deeply and slow. She couldn't blame them, really. Even that Thing had seemed surprised to see her.

With the soft clopping of nervous hooves approaching from her right, she remained seated, kept her wings tightly furled, and bunched her magic mane in as closely as she could. Looking away, she said softly, "I am not the Night Mare Moon who tried to bring eternal night, my little ponies."

"We, uh, we know, um, yer Highness. We're sorry," Applejack said in a voice composed of equal parts wonder and terror. "Ah mean, you're still Princess Luna. A-and we know you'd never... you'd never hurt anypony."

"I just spent most of the last hour trying very hard to do just that to your friend Twilight Sparkle." She stood up, the three ponies flinching slightly. "Celestia and myself have not spoken since the end of the battle. We wished to include you in our discussion. But I believe we may have a problem. We are missing two ponies."

"Where are Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy?" Celestia asked. She sat down and looked very closely at the three remaining Bearers.

"They... they left," Rarity whispered.

"And we don't know where they went!" Pinkie Pie said, sadness and loneliness all over her face. "They said we couldn't come, because we can't fly! And they left, and then we started arguing! We were gonna go after them, to see where they'd gone off to in such a rush, but -"

"Of course you were going to," Celestia said with a smile. "Do you know why they left?"

"Fluttershy said Spike told 'er where to find dragons," Applejack said, gesturing with a hoof. "He won't wake up. Ah've tried. And it don't make no sense. Fluttershy was powerful angry jus' before she and Rainbow Dash left, and that ain't like her at all. And she's so scared a' dragons, she normally jus' curls up and squeaks!"

"Dragons?" Celestia stood and walked over to Spike. She nudged him with a hoof, then crouched down, her face very close to his. "Spike," she said softly. "Spike, it's Princess Celestia. Wake up please, Spike."

The baby dragon snuffled and grunted, but continued to snore softly.

"Cover your ears, please," Celestia said over her shoulder. She turned back to the baby dragon. Things were far too important to be polite.

"SPIKE!" Celestia roared with the power of her Voice.

A green-and-purple blur bounced off the ceiling. Celestia caught him with her magic, stopping him from hitting the floor, and held him up.

"Pruh-Pruh-Pruh-Princess?!"

"I'm sorry about that, Spike, I really am. But we needed to wake you up. Just to clear this up first, Princess Luna doesn't look quite like herself at the moment." She spun the little dragon in the air to face her sister.

"N-NN-NNNNNNNN-"

"No, Spike. Not Night Mare Moon. Luna. Technically. Now, if I might ask you something?"

"Uh, okay, uh, sure, I guess?" Spike kept shooting glances at the tall, spooky-looking Royal Princess.

"Where are Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash?"

"Oh." Spike looked nervous. "Fluttershy, uh, well, she wanted to find some dragons."

"Yes. And I hear that you told her where to look for them?"

Spike nodded.

"And just where would that be, exactly?" Celestia was smiling despite the urgency of the situation.

Spike choked. He retched. His eyes bulged. He belched a cloud of smoke and green flame which swirled for a moment and then, with a pop, flashed into a torn, charred piece of paper.

Nopony, and nodragon, seemed to be breathing as Celestia levitated it and read its contents aloud, which seemed to have been hurriedly scratched with a burnt splinter of wood.

i can control it i know
where it hides itself in my
mind maybe i can stop it try
the elements get my friends
it will come back when I have
to use magic to send this

"It could be a trick," Night Mare Moon said.

"But it probably isn't. We've got that deadline," Celestia reminded her big little sister. "We did wonder about this. How it found her so fast. How she started to believe its thoughts were her own."

"Uh, beg pardon, Princess?" Celestia turned to look at Applejack. "Deadline? Did you say 'deadline'?"

"Just one moment, please, Applejack. Spike," she said, turning to the nervous dragon, "Did you send her to the Great Northern Caverns, to Shale Gully, or to the Termagant Range?"

"Termagant Range. They're closest. Fluttershy told me to tell you that even though you'd be mad at her, she thought she was doing the right thing. You know, extra muscle?"

"Why, in the name of everything that we stand for, did we not think of the dragons?!" Night Mare Moon exclaimed.

Celestia shook her head. "You know they would never agree to help us."

"But when faced with the destruction of the world?!" The silver-armoured midnight-black alicorn was stamping a front hoof. "Surely, they would help!"

"Perhaps they would. Perhaps they wouldn't. They may not believe such a thing is possible. We'll see, when Fluttershy returns."

"IF she returns. Ah. That is," Night Mare Moon faltered, seeing the looks of dismay on the three young ponies. "That is, I am sure there is an excellent chance. Now. We must tell you about the battle. I am afraid your town has been destroyed."

"Everypony got away safely," Celestia said over the gasps. "We talked about this before Luna moved the stars for Twilight, if you remember? We can rebuild Ponyville. No lives were lost. I hope that can last."

"So... Twilight attacked you?" Rarity asked, with a sharp intake of breath when Celestia nodded. "I never would have believed it! Our friend, Twilight!"

"...Is not herself!" Night Mare Moon snapped. Rarity shrunk. "I am sorry," Night Mare Moon said. "It is... It is difficult, having these dark powers again, for... for not entirely selfish reasons this time. Yes, she attacked Celestia. I was able to release my hatred for The Lunacy, and transformed once again into the monster you see before you. A monster on a very short leash, this time. I hope. My hatred is for The Lunacy alone. We thought that Twilight Sparkle had willingly allowed herself to embrace this madness."

"But this note," Celestia continued, holding it up, "is our greatest hope yet. There is something we do not entirely understand about the situation. The Lunacy found Twilight within days of her... her ascendancy. She has no dark emotions, not of the depths needed to allow such a creature to twist her mind inwards and dwell on her dark secrets. So she must be doing this herself. She must have facilitated her transformation herself. But with this note, I am not so sure any more."

Night Mare Moon looked at her through narrowed eyes. "The prediction from Mother. I assumed, when I heard it -"

"You assumed the same thing that I did. That one day, another alicorn would appear. It would abandon reason for insanity and allow The Lunacy to consume it. That doesn't seem to be the case. If Twilight is still in control, well. I told her many times that her will was her own, and to be wary of her thoughts. Perhaps when this thing got inside her, it -"

Spike belched another tongue of fire. "I wish there was a bit more warning with that spell," he grumbled, as Celestia snatched a small scrap of parchment out of the air and read it.

i need to talk
come to ponyville
hurts to do this can
only hold it for a
few minutes

"We gotta go see her!" Applejack shouted. "We gotta go! Maybe we can talk to her or -"

"No!" Luna said, with an air of total finality. "I will go. I can best escape that Thing. This may be a trap, or it may be exceedingly important. Big Sister, tell them the rest. I will return."

Before Celestia could speak a single word, Night Mare Moon had dissolved into a silver-blue mist, which swirled for a moment and then faded from sight.

"Well," began Celestia, looking after her.

"Um, Princess?" said Pinkie Pie, tugging gently on her mane to get her attention again. "What was that about a deadline?"

Night Mare Moon reformed out of the mists of the night just beyond the western edge of the former Ponyville. She saw nothing but rubble, a few scattered fires, and wisps of smoke everywhere. But she heard her.

"Nnnnnngnnnnnn-NO! NO! Gerrrrrrrrugghhh... N- Yeargh! AH! NO! No... GNNNN!"

That was Twilight Sparkle's voice. It was coming from... That light. She was by that light.

Night Mare Moon swept towards the flickering, sputtering glow. Coming around the shattered remains of a barn, she saw Twilight lying on the rubble-strewn street, rolling and thrashing around in obvious agony. She was the size of a fully-grown alicorn, her tail and mane resembling flowing smoke, her great lavender wings joining her hooves in beating the ground in torment. But Night Mare Moon was caught short by her horn. It was illuminated, and a ten-foot-long spike of magical energy was rippling and twisting outwards from it, making the rubble smoulder where Twilight's anguished movements brought it into contact. Night Mare Moon had never seen so much magic being channeled at once. She doubted she herself could even come close, even now.

"Twilight Sparkle. Can you hear me?" She was not going to land. She was tensed to flee.

"GNNN-Luna! Lu-AH! Luna? Is that- UHHHGHH -"

"In a manner of speaking. You wanted to talk. Please, talk." Her hatred of The Lunacy was compelling her to attack while it was weak, but she held herself. If she attacked now, she would accomplish nothing. If she waited, she might discover how to kill it. "We are trying to help you. Trying to find out how to get that thing out of your head."

"It's - ah. Unghhhhh... I c-can... HHUUUHHHH! Hold it... Get the AAAAAUGH! AHHHHH! Get the Elements... Get th-AHHH!"

"They will not work without you! You are the keystone! You are the sixth Element!"

"I - ah. AHHHHHH. OH! I can - Get my - Get my fr-AAAHHHHHHHH! FRIENDS!" she gasped out. "GET MY FRIENDS!" Her tail flamed momentarily, then reverted to magical hair.

"I do not think that is a -"

"PLEASE!" The word tore from a tortured throat. "I m-m-UHGH. AH! I MUST SEE MY FR-AAAHHHHHGGGGGHHHHH!"

Fire blossomed from her head and tail. Twilight Sparkle had obviously lost control for the moment. Night Mare Moon vanished in a flash of starry smoke as a large, dangerous, many-toothed face swivelled in her direction.

For a couple of minutes now, it had been getting more and more annoyed while it waited for the intruder to just go away. Finally fed up, it cracked open an eye to see what was tapping gently on the end of its snout. Maybe a mid-nap snack?

Both enormous eyes snapped open, staring in shock and terror at the creature before it.

It couldn't look away. It couldn't move. It couldn't even blink.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Mister Dragon," an incredibly tiny pink-and-yellow pony was saying in a quiet little voice. "I didn't want to wake you. But we have a tiny wee problem."

Her eyes bored in on the dragon's wide, staring gaze. Like thunder. Like a force of nature.

"I know how much you need your sleep, but, um, you see, my friend Twilight's just about to end the world. And, you know, it's really hard to sleep when you're dead. So, um, I'm just wondering if you'd mind helping us attack and capture a rampaging alicorn? And then, you can get right back to your nap."