//------------------------------// // Unexpected Guests // Story: A Place to Call Home // by starshine_dash //------------------------------// I do not believe the English language has the words to accurately describe just how weird today was. I'm not even sure the words exist in any other language on Earth, though considering my knowledge of them is limited, I can't say for sure. Where do I even begin? I suppose I should just start where I came into it, this morning, when I woke up. To me, it was another Tuesday. I woke up when my body demanded I use the facilities so I rolled out of bed, saw that the clock on the wall told me it was six in the morning, and wandered into the attached bathroom. The sun was barely rising in the sky if the light filtering through the curtains was any indication. I keep my windows blocked with curtains that block light, heat, and cold since I prefer light levels a little lower than natural due to some minor light sensitivity. I finished my business and washed my hands in preparation for my weekly shave. I've never found electric razors to work all that well, even when I used them daily, so I took to using manual razors once or twice a week out of laziness. Not the best thing for a person trying to transition, but then again I wasn't receiving much help on that front from anyone local and I couldn't really afford it to begin with. So I was stuck with shaving when I had the energy or when it got too itchy. I had finished shaping my beard down into a perfect Riker when I heard some voices outside my room. Rinsing off the cream with a promise to finish shaving later to the mirror I quickly scarfed my morning pills and exited my bathroom, padding softly across the floor towards my door. "Are you sure someone's in there?" said a raspy female voice. "There has to be, I heard water running and the door is locked," replied another feminine voice as the door knob shook as if someone was testing the lock. Even if that failed, I had the door chain drawn and a deadbolt lock as well. Some people call me paranoid, I call myself a very private individual. Also, when you live with five other people of varying criminal backgrounds and don't trust very easily... Well, you get the picture. The two voices outside continued arguing over the occupancy of the room as I retrieved some weapons I was sorely unequipped to handle properly. I was really only a collector with just a minor amount of skill in the use of a foil from a few years of fencing almost seven years ago. Primarily I kept them around as a scare tactic in case of robbery or drunk persons who stumbled into my room during a party. I put my Lloth tribute dagger down the back of a pair of pants I quickly threw on, as it wouldn't really do to fight robbers in the nude, and I wasn't really happy enough with my body to show them that much. Plus there would be the headline: Man, naked, killed defending worthless possessions. Tossing on one of my T-shirts, a particular favorite, I grabbed the one sharp sword I actually owned and turned back to the door. You may think I'm taking this rather calmly, but I'm just recounting my actions, not my mental state. I was rushing about madly in a sheer panic, the sweat dripping down my face as my heart threatened to beat straight out of my chest. By the time I reached the door, whoever was outside had managed to pick the regular lock and the deadbolt and seemed to be having issues figuring out the chain. I slipped behind the door and gaped as the chain became enveloped in a light purple glow, removing itself from its carriage and dropping loose. Shaking, I grabbed the door knob, stepping around as I yanked the door open, brandishing my sword. I looked out into the hallway and saw a certain blue pegasus with a rainbow mane hovering where my hallway and robbers should have been. Instead, I got her, a view of Ponyville, and a blast of magic in the chest courtesy of one overpowered unicorn who apparently panicked when she saw my weapon. Thankfully, I landed on my bed with just the wind knocked out of me. Gasping for air, I looked back out the door and my panic attack peaked. I felt the blood drain from my head, my vision went gray as sparks danced through air, that funny taste in my mouth like I'd licked a battery, and then nothing. Usually I can get them under control, but thinking I'm being robbed only to see two cartoon ponies outside my bedroom door? Yeah, not much to stop me from passing out from that. My next memory is waking up on my bed, with all six of the elements of harmony standing around it in discussion about what I was and why I was here. I faked unconsciousness for a bit to try and listen to them. "It doesn't seem hurt, Twilight... I um, I think you just scared it," said a certain yellow mare I was wearing on my shirt, "Its clothes are a little... disturbingly flattering, but otherwise, it seems fine to me. That's just my opinion though, I'm probably wrong..." "Ahm just wonderin how the hay it got here, with this strange house. Ah ain't never seen anythin' like some of this stuff." "All these swords, must be a savage and barbaric race, darling. Are you sure we should be standing so close?" "Most of these aren't even sharp, Rarity," came that raspy voice again, "Probably just decoration, like those masks at Zecora's." Pinkie, who had been disturbingly silent so far, finally gasped, "I know what this is, this is one of those humans Lyra is always going on about! Ohmigosh I never thought I'd actually see a real one in person! I need to go get the welcome wagon!" she said before I heard hoofsteps retreating into the distance. I took a sudden slow, deep breath, letting it out and slowly, carefully opening my eyes, not moving any other part of my body. Aside from Twilight and Pinkie, they were all standing right next to my bed, staring at me. Twilight was reading one of the books from my shelf and seemed to be engrossed in it, "Enjoying the book, Twilight?" I asked softly, trying to keep myself from being too loud. She blinked and they all had various looks of shock on their faces. I couldn't suppress a grin as I slowly pushed myself up into a sitting position and slowly brought my legs up and crossed them. Sitting there, I looked around at my room. It was mostly intact, just a few things moved around as if someone, or somepony, had picked them up to look at them closer and then put them down without thinking about the original location. I'd have to fix that later. "How do you know my name?" the unicorn finally asked, "And why do you have Fluttershy on your shirt? I'm guessing that's a shirt..." "It's a shirt, and I'm a human, and I'd be perfectly willing to explain all of that but you have to promise me not to hit me with one of those beams again. They sting." "Very well, but if you do anything to hurt any of us, I will have to restrain you." "Understood, Miss Sparkle. Now, to prove I have no intent in actually hurting any of you, if you would remove the dagger from the back of my pants? It's rather uncomfortable." She slipped a little behind me and I felt the weapon rise away from me before appearing in my face, "So if you don't want to hurt us, why do you have all these weapons?" "They're mostly for show, but let's get back to the original questions first, so I can catch up and not get too far off track explaining things you haven't asked yet," I said, before taking a deep breath, "I know your name and have Fluttershy on my shirt because I'm from another world, I guess." "You guess?" I nodded, "To be honest, you are all characters on a television cartoon meant for little girls, but you have vast numbers of fans of all age groups. I went to bed last night in a two story house with five other people, but from the looks of it," I said, nodding to my still open bedroom door, "I seem to have been ripped from that location and brought here. This would be Ponyville, in Equestria, under the rule of Princesses Celestia and Luna, correct?" "That's correct, yes," she said, looking at me curiously, "I suppose it could be possible, weirder things have happened, and humans are just a story here... If we're a story there, it gives credence to one of the multiverse theories," she said before I held up a hand. "As much as I'm sure you'd like to, I really can't handle a rant on dimensional transportation theories right now, Miss Sparkle... I'm more concerned with what's going to happen to me." "What do you mean?" "One question first, before I start rambling in panic, What was the last major event that happened?" "Uh... Rarity was kidnapped by Diamond Dogs," offered Rainbow Dash. "Okay, so why am I worried about what's going to happen to me? I'm a mythical creature who has apparently appeared out nowhere with items and technology never or rarely seen on your world as well as knowledge of your futures and details about each and every one of you that probably should not be publicly known. I'm fu-... I'm terrified!" I said, breathing heavily, the panic creeping back up on me. Everything felt far away and I could barely hear. I closed my eyes and took several deep breathes, "I need water," I said, standing and stumbling into my bathroom. I cranked the faucet on cold, splashed my face, and bent under the tap to take a few deep draws of the water. "Wait... How is this water still flowing?" I asked aloud to myself before grabbing a towel to dry my face. "That is a very good question..." "It tastes cleaner than usual as well, like it tapped into a local spring..." Twilight entered my bathroom and sent a pulse of magic through the pipes, "Odd, it's connected itself to the water table and even has an outflow for sewage..." "I... Well, plumbing is interesting, but I'm more worried about me. I'd rather not question providence, but I'd rather you let the Princess know I've shown up so she can decide to put me in a dungeon or leave me in peace," I said, walking over and flopping into my computer chair. "I'm sure she won't put you in prison just for arriving," the purple unicorn said, looking up at me as I watched Rainbow Dash examine my sword collection again. "You haven't read any of the stories I have," I retorted, "Then again, those were fiction... about fiction, so who knows what's right or not? Keep the book, Miss Sparkle, if you want, I have the rest." "Thank you, this Dresden character is really interesting, though is the author really a butcher?" I laughed, well, more snorted, "No, it's just a name where I'm from. Someone in his family tree probably was a few hundred years ago though. It's complicated." "I see. I have so many more questions!" "Well, I may be a captive audience soon, so, if you all wouldn't mind getting out of my room for a bit, I'll make myself a bit more presentable," I was interrupted by my stomach growling for breakfast, "and then maybe one of you kind ladies can help me find breakfast... though I'm afraid I don't have any bits." "Ah think ah can spot you a few apples if ye're that hard up, sugarcube," Applejack said as she trotted out the door. "Thank you, Applejack. Just give me a few minutes and I'll be right out," I said, ushering Rarity and Rainbow Dash out of the door before closing it. I didn't bother with the lock since I knew Twilight could just pick it again, so I returned to the bathroom and began to finish shaving, trying to take my mind off the entire ordeal. I have to say I handled it pretty well, for a while. I finished shaving, took stock of my pill supply, and even managed to get the shower running before I had to dive over to the toilet and vomit what little remained in my stomach from dinner last night. I wretched for some time before I was able to flush and return to the sink. I brushed my teeth to get the taste out of my mouth and took a fresh set of pills, considering the ones I had taken were currently swirling through Ponyville's sewage system. Stripping off the clothes I was wearing, I stepped into the shower, letting the warm water splash over me. Grabbing my body wash, I began to clean myself while wondering what the hell I had gotten myself into. I was used to weird shit. My friends and I all believed in the paranormal, from personal experience, but this was a whole brand new level, "Okay... Fact one: I fell asleep in my bed after another night of playing video games and watching videos on youtube. Fact Two: I had a dream about flying to Canterlot and meeting Luna for tea. Fact three: I hate tea. Fact four: I am now either in Ponyville, in a reasonable facsimile, still dreaming, or hallucinating. Fact five: I only have sixty days of my medication," I paused, rinsing the shampoo out of my hair, "This... is not going to be as fun as I'd hoped..." I stepped out of the shower and dried myself, before returning to my room and putting on some clean clothes. I made sure not to wear any pony merchandise, and I definitely made absolutely sure none of my tattoos were visible. The last thing I needed was a slue of questions about misplaced and mismatched cutie marks or wondering if I had the dreaded Cutie Pox. Those questions could come later, after I'd found out if I was going to be able to remain free. I decided against bringing any of my weapons with me and instead settled for my usual pocketfuls of coins, loose mints, my wallet, and after debating it for a while, my keys. My car was lost to another universe, but I could still lock up my room. I pulled a pair of sandals from the closet, where I'd stuffed them when winter had come, and I didn't want to wander around barefoot just yet. I left and was immediately assaulted by how clean the air smelled. Even living in the country where I come from there was always something, and I had expected that wonderful smell of horse that I always associated with being around them. Apparently, that smell didn't exist here, or I didn't notice it. All I could smell was... clean air, some flowers nearby, and something baking off in the distance. I turned around to lock my door and was shocked at what I saw. What had been plain white walls with alternating video game and anime posters were now wooden siding with windows built in. Inside there were none, but I imagined it would be a simple matter to cut out the wall on the other side. There was even a nicely shingled roof! "What in the name of..." I muttered, only to have Twilight come up next to me and answer. "We were asking the same question. A new house just showing up in the middle of the night is not something that happens." "Neither is suddenly waking up and finding yourself in Ponyville... Speaking of which, where are we?" "You're down the road from Fluttershy's house, between there and the main section of town." I chuckled and turned around to take in the view, "Well, at least I didn't drop into the middle of town square." "You'd have had quite a few more ponies knocking at your door, that's for sure," she said with a grin, "Come this way, we'll be waiting for Princess Celestia's response at the library." "You didn't tell her about me knowing the future did you?" "I mentioned something about that, yes." "Well, now the knowledge is mostly invalidated, don't you know any theories on time travel?" "A few, one of which states that knowledge of the future is only knowledge of one possible future and can be used to prevent it." "Or can be used to make it a reality. That's a lesson you'll have to learn eventually." "I will?" I shrugged as we walked, "Honestly, don't take anything I say about this place as fact. It's all hearsay, assumption, or filtered through the minds of people writing for little girls," I said, unwilling to mention the perverts, grimdarks, or downright nutters, "Besides, I like the role of the cryptic fortune teller." "I think Pinkie has the hat for that," she muttered, chuckling. "Between her Pinkie sense and my, uh, fortunes, I think you have your work cut out for you." She sighed, "So I shouldn't even bother, then?" "Like I told you, you guys are just stories where I'm from." "So are you," she countered as I started to limp slightly from the long walk, "Are you alright?" "I was in an accident about 10 years ago. The doctors say there's nothing physically wrong with my ankle, but I know my foot is at a different angle than it was before the accident, so either a bone broke inside and they couldn't see it in an x-ray, or it shifted all the bones into a different alignment. Needless to say, it's chronic pain if I walk for longer than 10 minutes, and we've been going for about 15 if my watch is still right. I didn't realize Fluttershy lived this far outside of town." "She lives right on the border of the Everfree Forest and Ponyville was built a 'safe distance' from it." I nodded as I spotted the library, "I hope you don't mind if I sit down as we get there." "Of course not." I finally looked around, having mostly been observing the path and the pony next to me, and finally saw the rest of the town. Ponies were going about their lives, doing double-takes in my direction before galloping off or tentatively following from a distance. I could feel the anxiety creeping up the back of my neck as I realized I had so many eyes on me. I increased my pace slightly, taking the pain in my ankle over the stares any day. Twilight easily kept pace, but didn't ask why I sped up until we reached the door, "Are you alright?" "I have some pretty severe anxiety issues, and having all those ponies looking at me is not helping," I said through clenched teeth, my hand bouncing on my leg in a developed rhythm I fully blame on The Doctor and The Master. I can't help being a geek even in completely terrifying situations, it seems. Twilight finally opened the door and I dashed inside, finding something softish to collapse on and rubbing my ankle once I was seated. "Anxiety is pretty common even among ponies. How's your counseling going?" "I take anti-anxiety medication. Counseling doesn't really... It's not my thing," I said, grumbling, "Let's not get into my issues yet. I have about sixty days until it becomes a problem." "Withdrawal symptoms?" she asked. I simply nodded as the other ponies gathered around. I sighed, I knew how this went, or at least how dozens of authors thought it would go. Pinkie would host a party, I'd end up meeting the princesses, falling in love with a pony, and living happily ever after. Not bloody likely, given my mental status. Twilight opened her mouth to ask another question, I assumed, before I held up a hand to stop her, "I would just like to get a couple of things out in the open first. While I'm not a carnivore, I do eat meat on occasion, less so lately that I've been on a diet but it's still an essential part of my nutrition, so, I'm sorry, but that's that. I don't eat ponies though," I said at the look of terror on Fluttershy's face, "I have many odd mannerisms that will definitely confuse you, but please let me know if any of them are offensive. I also have medical problems that are currently handled by complex drugs that I doubt are available in this world so in sixty days, if I'm not home, I better have a replacement or I become even less fun to be around. Also, I really hope you have coffee or soda here because my caffeine addiction is severe and the migraine is really not something I want to deal with." They all processed my rant for a moment, before my hostess spoke up, "Well, we do have coffee, though I think I own one of three coffee pots in Ponyville... As far as your medication, I can take a look at it and see if there aren't some natural remedies that can replace them, but you really should consider therapy. I don't know if there's anything that can be done about your ankle, but we can check after I receive a response from the Princess." I nodded and sat there, absorbing the awkward silence that descended like a sponge while I ate the apples that Applejack had brought until Spike coughed and burped up a scroll that Twilight reflexively caught in her magic and unrolled. She scanned the letter with what she believed to be a neutral expression but I could read the nervousness and then relief in her face. Ponies are surprisingly expressive if you watch them close enough. "Bad news?" I asked, watching the other ponies for a reaction. Pinkie was still missing and I gathered my room was now party central. I only hoped she hadn't broken anything important. "I wouldn't say that. Allow me...." the unicorn said and took a deep breath. Dear Twilight Sparkle, I admit some shock in hearing about your newly arrived guest in Ponyville. I had sensed something unusual last night, but I attributed it to my sister flexing her powers. She is recovering quite well from her ordeal. I must ask that you not question your visitor about the future. Some things are not meant to be known, no matter how much we want to. If he wants to reveal anything, allow him, but please do not badger him for information. I will have some time this coming weekend and I believe I would like to meet this visitor from another world. If you would not mind, I will arrive sometime after sunset in three days time. In the meantime, please make him feel comfortable and assure him that I mean him no harm unless he brings harm to my little ponies first. Any other concerns he or I may have will be addressed at our meeting. Your Mentor, Princess Celestia of Equestria "Well, I suppose I can handle that. I definitely don't want to hurt any of you, you girls are awesome! If you couldn't tell from my shirt and the posters, I'm somewhat of a fan." Rainbow Dash puffed up a bit while Fluttershy hid behind her mane in that way she always does, adding a blush this time. Applejack just placed a hoof behind her head and looked at the floor as Rarity smiled and looked at something above Twilight's left shoulder. Twilight just blushed and looked over at Spike. "Ugh, how could I forget Spike. Come here, man," I said, offering a hand to him, "I wanna teach you something only we can do." "Huh?" he asked, stepping forward and grabbing my hand, "What do you mean?" "You've never had a thumb war with Twilight, I'm sure." "A... thumb war?" "Here," I said, grabbing his little claws and maneuvering our hands into the proper position, "Now, this is how you start," I said, moving our thumbs back and forth while reciting the ancient creed, "One, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war!" He just looked at our hands, and then back to me, "Now what?" I grinned, "Now, you take your thumb, and try to pin mine down for a three count. I try to do the same. It's a test of agility and strength!" He grinned and starting waggling his thumb around, trying to get it on top of mine while I tried to avoid his claw. He managed to get me and let me tell you, baby dragons are STRONG. It felt like I was thumb wrestling my father. He counted to three as quick as he could and then pumped his fists in the air while I laughed. The others joined in at the display and I smiled, "See? Need thumbs to do that, and I see only two pair in the room." Rainbow rolled her eyes as I stood and stretched, "Well, those apples were tasty, but if you couldn't tell, I'm a bit bigger round the middle. Don't suppose you know of some way I could make bits that wouldn't involve being on my feet for an extended period of time?" Applejack looked stunned, "What, big stallion like yerself ain't got the strength for real work?" "No I don't, Applejack. I was injured about 10 years ago and the damage causes chronic pain and difficulty walking. You saw me limp over here. Most of my strength these days is here," I said, tapping my temple, "but even that falters occasionally." Twilight thought for a moment, as did everypony else, except me. I hoped there would be something around here for me. Maybe running some pony's sale cart in the market, since I could sit on a stool to do that. I hated having to live off someone else, and the guilt would be too great to bear. "How are you with a needle and thread, darling?" Rarity asked me, at last. "I tend to stab myself, but I can repair minor damage if I have supplies, missing buttons and the like. Saves me money on clothes if I can just fix them up." She nodded, "Well, fixing damage is by no means regular work, but an extra pair of hooves around would help out once in a while." "Well, you know where I live, just let me know if you need me." Another nod was given as I looked at the rest, Rainbow shrugged helplessly and Applejack just rolled her eyes again. I looked between Fluttershy and Twilight, hoping one of them had something more appealing than needlework. Fluttershy looked up and then back down, before muttering something softly. I barely picked out a few words, "Sorry, Miss Shy, could you please speak up a little?" I asked as gently as I could. She swallowed, "Um, how are you with... um, animals?" she asked. I should have figured. "I like them, but they don't usually like me for the most part, and I'm allergic to anything with wool or lots of dander." She lowered her head, "I see, I could use help feeding them all sometimes, that is, if you don't mind." "I wouldn't mind, I live close after all." "Th-thank you." Twilight smiled, "You can also help me reshelve books occasionally if you want." Rainbow Dash blinked, "Hey! I just realized. You know all of us, but you never told us your name!" I winced, "Well, I don't like the name I was born with... but I guess since I'm in a new world I can choose what to be called... For now, call me Tera." "Tara?" "With an e instead of the first a. It's short for a pseudonym I use on something called the internet, and Tara is the name I was going to use when I finished transitioning." Twilight opened her mouth, but I held up a hand again, "That's another whole kettle of worms I don't feel like getting into on an almost empty stomach. It must be nearly noon by now. Normally I'd go out for lunch but I doubt anypony here will take my money," I said, pulling it out of my pockets, a wad of loose bills of varying denominations and a pile of change. Rarity's eye twitched slightly and Twilight's eyes went wide, "What are those coins made out of?" "Uh, the brown ones are zinc with a copper coat... The silver ones I think are tin? I'm not sure, I don't remember." "Well, some of those metals can be rather hard to come by. What about those green things?" "It's a cotton blend I think. I'm not familiar with how the government makes their money, really." "Well, there's a metallurgist in the main square that can determine the value of those coins. Do you have any more?" "I have a 10 gallon water jug filled with pennies, the copper ones," I said. Rarity's eye twitched again so I looked over at her and raised an eyebrow, "Are you alright, Lady Rarity?" She blinked in shock and put a hoof to her chest, "Sorry, dear. I was just thinking. If you have anything made of alloys, they could be quite valuable. Most alloys are incredibly difficult to forge around here. Even our guards use magically enhanced gold for armor instead of something naturally stronger." "Most metals other than gold are rare in this world then?" I asked, only because I was confused. "No, not really," said Twilight, "They're just controlled by other nations who only export small amounts to Equestria." "I see. Most of my sword collection is stainless steel..." I said tentatively. Rarity and Twilight gaped while Applejack and Spike's eyes went wide. Rainbow was reading Daring Do, "So, is that good?" "Stainless steel is never exported, and we don't have sufficient chromium deposits to make our own in anything other than minute quantities," Twilight said, "We use most of what we have for medical tools!" I winced slightly and stood, "Well, let's get back to my room.... house... place... and we can see if I can buy us lunch." The walk back was relatively quiet, aside from my ongoing discussion about the similarities between Daring Do and Indiana Jones with Twilight and Rainbow. I had snagged the first book in the series from the library before we left and as I unlocked the door and entered my room I set it on my computer desk. I was more surprised that there was no Pinkie party ready to blast me back out of the door with the force of her cannon, "I guess she's waiting for later," I said as I entered and made my way to my dresser. I had a display of japanese styled swords that were just stainless steel replicas so I tossed those on the bed. If this was a dream, no harm done. If I couldn't get home, I needed the bits more than I needed to show off weapons of societies completely unknown to the local population. If I could get home, well, I'd have their weight in bits of gold to make up for it. I opened a drawer and pulled out a tray of silver throwing knives I had acquired because, well, I'm weird, "How is silver? I bought these in case of werewolves or other supernatural beings weak to silver, but I've never needed them." "Silver is valuable, yes. There are supernatural things where you're from?" "Most people don't believe in them, but I've had enough experiences to believe that there's something going on outside of normal," I said, closing the drawer and going to my closet. Opening it, I pushed aside my nicer button shirts and reached into the back, pulling out sword after sword until half a dozen of varying sizes had been tossed onto the bed. I left the rest in case I needed them later or because they weren't steel. Turning back to the bed, I saw Twilight gaping at the weapons, "Yeah, not a friendly world, but these are all just for show." "I can see that. Some of these are huge..." she said, levitating a flamberge in front of her and removing it from its sheath, "This kind of craftponyship on a replica is amazing." "If you think that's big..." I said, ducking back into the closet, pulling out my full eight foot long Scottish claymore. It was heavy and I think Rarity fainted at the sight, but I was too busy watching Twilight go over the math in her head, "Now, the ones on the bed are fair game, but I'm keeping this one, since it has sentimental value, and the one by the door, since it's actually sharp." Twilight nodded and we walked out, with Rarity and Twilight dragging the jug full of pennies with Applejack pushing it along and myself carrying the bulk of the swords. We finally reached the metallurgist's shop and entered, ponies first, with myself ducking in after. I won't go into much detail here, as half the language the two unicorns used was completely over my head, but suffice to say, I didn't really need to worry about work for a little while. Jingling a small pouch of bits in my hand, the rest accessible through the Equestrian banking system should I need it, I grinned, "So, ladies, lunch at Sugarcube Corner? My treat?" Rainbow Dash and Twilight nodded eagerly, Applejack shrugged, Rarity gave me a slight nod, and Fluttershy just stood there. Shrugging, we made our way to the famous (to me) confectionery and entered. I should have expected it, I really should have, but I didn't, so I caught the full blast of a group of ponies shouting "SURPRISE!" at the top of their lungs, followed by a bouncing pink blur dragging me to the center of the room. It seemed Pinkie had borrowed the Doctor's TARDIS for this little event as there were an absolute ton of perplexed ponies present. I shook off the surprise and looked around, smiling nervously, as I noticed the "Welcome to Ponyville" banner hanging from the ceiling. "Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie, but you knew that already! You probably know every pony in this room, don't you? We don't know you though, so I had to throw a welcome to Ponyville party so you could meet everypony and we could have some fun before Celestia got her hooves on you and did herself knows what. Do you like cupcakes? Everypony likes cupcakes! You're not a pony though, can you even eat cupcakes? I should have thought of that, but there's so much more than cupcakes! There's cake and cookies and candy and punch and pie and strudel and..." "And plenty more, Pinkie, I'm sure, thank you," I said, smiling and putting a hand on her mane. I thought it would feel like cotton candy, but it felt soft and wonderful like a beautiful head of curly hair. I knelt down and looked her in the eyes, "I'd love a cupcake, Pinkie." She grinned and bounced off, returning with a tray of cupcakes balanced on her head. I took one with a thank you and moved around the room, greeting ponies I knew and learning the names of the ones I didn't. I didn't last long though. My social anxiety quickly filled up to the brim so I pulled Pinkie aside as the evening began to get deeper. "Hi, Tera! Are you having fun? This is such a good party, isn't it? Then again I always throw a good party!" she said, giggling. I chuckled as well, "The party is wonderful, Pinkie, but I need to go. I have some problems being around crowds for too long, so I need to get some fresh air and something a bit more substantial than cupcakes and sweets for dinner." She pouted for a moment, but I would not be swayed. She brought the grin back when I looked honestly guilty about having to leave, "Okidokie Loki! I'm glad you had a good time, will I see you around Ponyville now?" "Yes, though if you don't see me for a day, come knock on my door. I tend to get wrapped in solitude and doing things alone. I imagine I'll be up all hours tonight trying to figure out where to put a kitchen in that tiny place." "Oh! You should go around back, there's a lot more space back there than there should be. Like the windows on the front!" I raised my eyebrows, "Really? I'll have to check..." I said, standing back up and patting her head again. She smiled up at me as I turned to leave. Once I got to the door, I turned around, "Everypony, thank you for coming and making me feel a little less awkward, but, I need to get some air, so I'll see every one of you around town, I hope." After making my speech, I ducked out the door and took a deep breath as the pressure and heat of the room bled off of me and floated away. I walked slowly down the square toward what looked like a restaurant. I entered and found that most of the staff must have been at the party, but there was one waiter floating around looking bored, "Um, hello? Are you open?" He blinked and then stared at me, "Y-yes, sir... We are. Let me get you a menu." he said, levitating one over before leading me to a sit. I snagged a stool from the bar to sit on and followed him over. I sat myself down and took the menu from him, "Something to drink while you decide?" I looked over the menu and saw something I had hoped to see. They were labeled differently, but they were definitely sodas. Even better, they were all natural, "Yes, I'll have the Fountain Spray," I said, hoping it was either clear and citrusy or green and citrusy. He nodded and went to retrieve my drink while I scanned the menu. The fare was vegetarian, but I was glad to see things like eggs and milk were used. I looked for something that would hopefully be something I could digest and smiled to myself as I saw two items that were usually good no matter where you went. As I folded the menu and set it down, my waiter returned with the soda. I was glad to find out it was closer to Sierra Mist than it was to Sprite or 7-Up, and set the glass down, "Ready to order?" he asked casually. I nodded, "I'd like to start with the fried mozzarella, and then I'd like the spaghetti and garlic bread." "Very well, it'll be out shortly," he said, turning to leave me be. I looked out the window as the ponies dispersed back into town from the party, some heading this way to come into work or dinner. I was surprised when my six favorite friends entered and moved to my table. "Well, hello, ladies," I said with a smile, "I guess we never did get that lunch." "No, we didn't," said Rainbow, rolling her eyes, "You still treating?" "Of course, have a seat," I replied, waving for the waiter. He walked over with a raised brow and everypony ordered their own dinner. We chatted quietly until dinner arrived, at which point we devoured it rapidly in silence. I was impressed with the practiced ease the non-unicorns used silverware for dishes more complicated than a sandwich. After we finished, we sat digesting for a while and I brought something up, "Well, ladies, as you've seen, I have a bedroom and a bathroom. How much would adding a few rooms cost if I wanted to?" Applejack shrugged and took another swig of her sarsaparilla, "Ahd say it shouldn't be too much, pardner. If you design it yerself ya just need to pay fer materials and labor and that shouldn't put much of a dent in yer bits." I nodded, "Well, I'm not a designer by any means. Lady Rarity," I said, turning toward the pure white unicorn. She was blushing again, apparently calling her a Lady was a good thing, "How much would it be to hire your services for interior design and decorations?" She looked thoughtful for a moment, "Well, considering the unique nature of the job, I will design just for the challenge. And since you'll be coming to me for future clothing needs anyway, yes?" I nodded, "Then I suppose I can decorate for the challenge as well." "You are too generous for your own good, my lady. I insist on paying at least for the cost of the materials and a little extra for your time." "Nonsense, darling. The challenge is enough." I rolled my eyes, having to deal with the bloody element of generosity shouldn't be this taxing, "Rarity, even if you deny me a written list of costs, you will receive a bag of bits in your hoof whether you want it or not." She sighed and looked at me, pointedly ignoring Rainbow's facehoof, "Tera, you are new here, and have barely more than the clothes on your back, I couldn't in good conscience..." I interrupted, "I have more bits than all of you combined, forgive my bluntness, but I'm paying you if I have to tape it to your flank." Every pony at the table blushed at that, with Applejack glaring at me and Rainbow trying to suppress a giggle and failing miserably. Rarity recovered quickly, "Very well then. I will provide you a receipt for the cost of materials when the job is completed." "Don't forget, or, tape. I hear it's terrible to get off if you're covered in hair." I noticed Twilight shudder and smirked softly. Looks like I had a tale to learn later. The waiter returned with the bill and I counted out the bits to pay and a generous tip for putting up with my strange self. We all left together, after I apologized for the joke since I didn't really want to get bucked by Applejack on my first day. I excused myself to my small home, followed by Rarity who needed to see what she had to work with. We examined the external structure and found that it did indeed extend back quite a bit with windows that looked into open space and the opposite wall of my bedroom. I would have to move my bed, but it seemed that there was plenty of space for everything I needed. I silently thanked my mysterious benefactor and turned to Rarity, "It's not much to work with, but I only need a sitting slash living room and a kitchen with a dining area." "It shouldn't be any problem. I should have something after your meeting with the Princess." "Sounds good to me." "I must ask, since it is bothering me, why are you wearing such... tacky clothing?" "I am not comfortable with my body, if you're asking why I'm wearing clothes at all. I have no problems with wondering around nude, I do it in my room often, the problem comes when I have other people, or ponies, looking at me. As for the tackyness, I prefer to be relaxed and comfortable, so I wear what fits and is such." She nodded, "Well, if you need something more formal, please come and see me." "I need to get some time alone, so would it be alright if you stopped by tomorrow afternoon to see if anything I already own is fit for a meeting in the library with the Princess?" "Absolutely. I'll bring my measuring tape just in case!" she said excitedly before we said our good byes and I entered my room. I flopped down in my computer chair, exhausted, and by reflex I pushed the button to turn it on. I rolled my eyes at my own stupidity until I heard the fan start blowing air and the drives whir to life. I gaped stupidly at my own computer for several minutes until it finished booting up. Deciding I would need some way to keep track of what happened here in Equestria, and at the very least an interesting story for if I returned home, I opened up a new text document and got to work. That brings us to where we are now. I'm tired and need another shower after walking around in what I'm guessing is late summer Ponyville weather and being in a confined space with a hundred or so ponies. I'm going to shower, go to bed, and then see if I wake up at home or in Ponyville. At this point, either option is believable. Though, thinking about it, a panic attack and being blasted in the chest by Twilight should have been enough to wake me if this were a dream. That narrows it down to a coma, head trauma, or full blown psychosis. Or I'm actually in Equestria, which I'm not quite ready to believe. I guess I'll look for those things that are always wrong, if I can even identify them, aside from everyone being a talking pony.