I'm standing next to my bed, seeing... me, with an IV and oxygen mask on. I feel a twinge of empathy for myself. I was right: this isn't good. I can tell from how pale my eyelids look. My ears seem unusually limp, even for a sleeper.
"...shouldn't be the one to do this. He's brave and capable, but I don't want him assuming the risk if anypony else can do it," says Twilight. We're talking to Zecora. The fifth person in the room is a unicorn stallion dressed as a physician. He looks grumpy.
"Princess, I would be remiss not to object to this," says the doctor.
"I'm sorry, Zecora. They're not going to let a kid risk his life in a hospital," says Twilight.
I look right at Zecora. "I'm okay doing this," I tell her, then I look up to Twilight. "Really. I know you're worried about me, but this is what I want. I want to help her."
The doctor clears his throat. "That's not what I meant. We all take necessary risks here, because this is a hospital. I mean this... forgive the language, but 'mumbo-jumbo' about connecting consciousnesses. I will not allow a naturopath..."
"Zecora isn't a naturopath, doctor! She's a shaman," says Twilight. "She studies the magical sciences."
In response, Zecora holds out her staff and the tip pulses with energy. "I do not wish to sound unkind, but there is science to 'the mind'," she says.
"Oh. But... you're a zebra. How are you doing magic?" asks the doctor. "You don't have a horn..."
"There are many kinds of magic, Doctor. Zecora is one of my personal mentors. She taught me most of what I know about alchemy and mana channeling."
"I... really?" he says, then turns to Zecora and sighs. "Ma'am... Doctor, um, Shaman..."
" 'Zecora' is fine; please don't waste our time." The zebra offers a slight smile.
"Yes, yes, of course. I apologize for prejudicial assumptions," he replies, his ears slouching forward. "If the Princess vouches for your work, I have no objections. What can I do to help?"
"If we do this at all, somepony will need to go under. You should prep them as though they were in a magistatic enthrallment, just like Scootaloo here," says Twilight, and then she leans down to speak with me, face to face.
"Sis, you know I can do this," I say, hoping the public familiarity will tell her how serious I am. Neither of me have to be the one to say it, though. It's more like we're watching a realistic movie, or something.
She smiles weakly. "Spike, you know I have total faith in you, but we should get Rainbow Dash."
Zecora clears her throat. "My dear Princess, it must be Spike," she intones, "even if it's not to your like. He is uniquely capable of managing the damage toll."
Twilight sighs. "You mean a dragon has a stronger constitution? If this will endanger him physically, I can't allow it. Mental trauma is bad enough. I can't do it myself unless there's no other option because of responsibilities I have, should it take an extended time. But I'll take the risk before I let Spike do it."
"Mental trauma?" asks the doctor. "What does this procedure entail, if I may inquire?"
Once again I speak up automagically, because we have no reason to stop ourself from a cold read of the 'script'. (I'd rather be watching this as a movie in real life than reliving it, but the experience is still kind of neat... as long as there are no snipes in this one.) "Scootaloo needs to confront unresolved issues she has, psychologically speaking, before she'll wake up," I explain. "The nature of the magic—"
"—connects mind and body, I understand," he interrupts me. Zecora momentarily glares at the doctor, but I don't think he notices.
We didn't see what Twilight did, and we try to move our neck but it stutters in place instead. "I can't do that," we point out to myself, speaking only in our mind. "Either way, if we didn't see it, then our brain—I'm not sure whose—would have to make stuff up to fill in the gaps, which isn't reliable."
"You're really smart, me," I say, feeling humbled because I'm not smart like myself. Then I feel weird for feeling humbled, because I just complimented ourself and that's not exactly a humble thing to do, now is it?
"Is—" we begin to ask, but we already know what I will say, so it's not rude to get interrupted by myself. I guess we were all thinking about that, probably because the doctor was rude to memory-me just now. It's different, though. He isn't us.
I shake my head and whisper back to me mentally, "Nah. I'm fine being less clever than my friends. We're good at lots of other stuff, so we don't think I need to resolve that," I confirm.
Wait. Zecora is talking now. "Oh no, pay attention!" I mind-shout to us in order to refocus ourself.
"...young pegasus whose pelt is orange," she concludes to the astonished stare of both Twilight and the doctor, then continues before they can say anything. "But no, something inside our friend will help connect whose mind we send. The problem is Scoot's memories. For when Spike interfaces these, his recall will entangle hers. Any-pony would make things worse," she explains, with a mixing motion of her forehooves as she rears up tall. "For it may not be possible to disentangle minds in full, but all their similarities will buffer changes such as these."
Twilight blinks a few times, having apparently delayed processing Zecora's last statement. "Zecora, are you saying Spike is more like Scootaloo than Rainbow Dash is? That's a little hard to believe."
"Don't say that out loud, she might wake up," I say in the memory. And I also say it, and so does 'he', because it's what all three (at least) of us are thinking. "Er, I mean it might upset her, wherever she is right now. Scootaloo doesn't idolize me like she does Dash."
"Oh. I get it! That's why Zecora thinks it needs to be you, Spike," says Twilight, frowning. "Scootaloo puts Rainbow on a pedestal, like she's some sort of god..."
"Well... that's because she basically is!" we blurt out loud... but in the memory!
Internally, I feel us wince. "Uh-oh. Did we just change the past, or something else bad?"
"I don't think anypony noticed," I say, and exhale. "That makes sense, I guess. I mean, we can't remember them doing stuff they didn't do, so they're not going to pay attention if we do something different. It'll just be harder to follow what's going on."
Twilight keeps talking, and we pick up what she's saying at, "...can't identify with her internally. But I don't understand what Scootaloo and Spike have in common either, besides both of them being young and close allies of Harmony. Can you explain?"
"The truth? Ask Spike. I shall not say. Just trust me, it must be this way," says Zecora. All of me are impressed by how quickly she can rhyme like that. Then she turns to the doctor. "Please pull up an adjacent bed and prepare Spike, as Twilight said."
"What is it? What do I have in common?" I ask myself. "You're the Spike part, right?"
"I don't know the answer to any of those questions. I mean, we aren't very close, are we? Spike knows you less than the other Crusaders because we spend more time with Rarity and Applejack than Rainbow Dash."
I furrow my imaginary brow in thought, which may or may not be scaly. "Well, we're pretty close right now! Maybe we don't need to know what the deal is, though. Zecora's honest, but... maybe she has another reason for sending me in to help me."
"I sense it too. She's being catty about the real reason, probably because she thinks it will help us be successful if Spike doesn't know the details. But we might need to figure it out for Spike, at least. If Scootaloo needs to 'resolve' things, maybe Spike needs to, too? I don't think we can afford to take chances with either of me."
The doctor speaks up. "I'll set up the equipment myself, and start the IV for him—no, wait. I need to contact the dragon expert here on staff, if she's on call. I have no idea how to access a usable vein, or if there are other concerns I need to be aware of."
"I can show you," says Twilight, and we wince at the thought. I climb into the bed the doctor rolls up, and I lie on my back. My tail twitches nervously.
"Why does an IV bother us? Needles are the one thing Scootaloo isn't afraid of, which is pretty weird. Is Spike afraid of needles?" I say.
"Nope, because they can't hurt me, at least not my skin. But remember how she does it?"
I pause for a moment, and unfortunately I do. "Oh. Bleah! Gross and awful. Ick. No. I'm not even supposed to have that part, unless I'm him, and even then, yuck, ow, yikes, no way. We need to bail again. I mean, it's not a snipe sting, but still."
"Eh, it isn't that bad. Anyway, Twilight knows how to cast Somnus, which puts anypony to sleep as long as they're willing. She'll probably put me to sleep before prepping the line, and I think that happens about—"
Everything goes black.
...
This feels... empty. "Where... where are I?"
...
..
.