//------------------------------//
// Chapter 110: Dismissed 
// Story: Marshmallow Dreams 
// by Halira 
//------------------------------//

I didn't get a chance to tell my parents or Russell about the big things that happened during my trip to Equestria as we took our plane home. There were too many other people around. I did talk about some things. I told them about the Crystal Empire, Mountainshade, Rainbow Falls, the airship, and seeing a minotaur. I had to leave out the details about Discord, Jimsonweed, the Sunstone, Bursa, the Well of Shade, and the Pony of Shadows. They just weren't safe subjects to discuss in public, and I found myself reflecting again on what it must be like to be a Dreamwarden and not be able to say anything about so much you knew was going on. It was harsh and sobering.

Phobia Remedy's questioning upon my return was also on my mind, and while I hated it. I knew the weight of duty. I remembered how Miss Seapony laid down her life, so her foals could get away and not be used against her. I also remembered how Phobia Remedy and Arbiter had been willing to sacrifice their entire families during the Cataclysm of Riverview to spare the world the horrors that could have happened. Dreamwardens sometimes had to make tough choices, and sometimes those tough choices involved people we cared about. I disagreed with the decision that Phobia and Arbiter had made. I would have risked the worst, but it wasn't just for the sake of what they could have done to their loved ones. It was how awful a thing it had been. It may have been the lesser of two evils, but it was still evil. I'd have looked for some other way or risked the greater evil happening and would have tried to find a way to fix it. I couldn't bring myself to hurt people like that. 

Still, that brought me back to her question. Was I hurting people if I gave in to those kinds of demands? The answer was almost certainly yes. If someone were willing to hurt my family to get what they wanted, they would hurt others even more once they got it. It would pain me, but I would refuse to give in to demands because I couldn't be the source of that suffering that would come. 

There was an odd bit of jet lag, moving from one universe to another, and even though it was still midafternoon as we flew back home, I found myself getting very tired and soon drifted off to sleep.

I then found myself in what seemed like a giant three-sided amphitheater, and the fourth side had six pedestals and, beyond them, a field of stars. Sunflower, Blanche, Jonathan, and Roger were all there beside me, sitting together in front of the pedestals, and on top of the pedestals, the Dreamwardens sat in their full nightmare guises. Phobia Remedy was a shadow with glowing red eyes. Psychic Calm was a massive stag, looking sagely down upon us. Miss Seapony was her usual dragon-seapony self. Arbiter was in her partial-angel form, robed in orange, holding her staff. Ghadab was a burning bush for some reason instead of a burning pony. The last guy with the hard-to-pronounce name, the Warden of Order, was a dark figure in white with a long billowing cloak but was missing his face. 

Arbiter rapped her staff upon the pedestal. "Greetings. We felt you would all fall asleep early, given the time difference between the Crystal Empire and New York City. We have reviewed the full report of your activities in Equestria…and beyond Equestria for some of you. We had not anticipated your trip to be so eventful, but everything is a test, and for everything, you are judged."

Phobia knelt and stared into the humans' eyes. "Blanche and Jonathan, we understand you are withdrawing your candidacy for the position of Dreamwarden that Psychic Calm will soon vacate. We are all disappointed to hear this, but we accept your withdrawal. We are all impressed by the courage and resourcefulness you displayed on your adventures, and while we are saddened you had to endure such hardship, we are pleased with how you have grown. While you are no longer interested in becoming Dreamwarden, we hope that you can be convinced to lend your aid and support to whoever ends up being chosen."

"I'll consider it," Blanche replied. Jonathan just nodded. 

Phobia turned her attention to Roger. "Concerns were raised about your continued candidacy. There was a vote called regarding the matter. Roger Wilco, by a vote of four to two, you have been removed as a candidate for Dreamwarden."

I stood in shock, but not in as much shock as Roger. Poor Roger!

"W-w-why?!" Roger stammered out. 

Arbiter gave Miss Seapony a sideways look. "Because we have enough Dreamwardens who would compromise the good of all for the good of their families already." 

Miss Seapony glared at Arbiter and hissed, showing all her fangs. The angel ignored her.

"We do not condemn you for not being willing to sacrifice your family if it came down to it. It is admirable that you would do anything for them, but it is not something we can afford to let happen with a Dreamwarden. We hope you can understand this and not resent our decision," Psychic Calm said in a near monotone. 

Oh, that was why Phobia had made me think about that. I was kind of glad I had thought about it and come to a firm decision about it; otherwise, they might be dismissing me now too. Still, I felt bad for Roger. It had to feel terrible for him, especially after all he had just gone through with his mom. 

"The field of candidates is now reduced to two," the Warden of Order said. "Ironically, the two candidates most favored by the ones who dissented from expelling the other."

"Just because I was not as inclined towards that one does not mean I wanted him dispelled for acting with justice, you weak-livered germaphobe!" Ghadab growled. 

"We may disagree about what constitutes justice, martyr, but justice has little to do with our decision. It is about what is best to keep us from being compromised," the Warden of Order answered back calmly.

Miss Seapony flicked her lower half at him. "Feeling more confident about addressing your elder siblings like that now that you are in line to no longer be the baby?"

The Warden of Order shrugged. "Perhaps, but don't discredit whoever ends up being chosen. Arbiter hit the ground running and tried to assert herself right away; maybe our new sibling will too."

"My mortal life had ended. I only had a purpose as a Dreamwarden. I had an incentive to assert myself. I move on from the past and embrace the new," Arbiter reminded him. 

"The chubby one is fairly loud a good deal of the time, and the farmer's daughter just showed some spirit. Plus, you never know what traits they'll inherit; only take educated guesses. The winner could inherit an extra boost to assertiveness,"  the Warden of Order reminded her. 

"Let's hope they don't inherit our whore sister's virility," Ghadab groaned. 

"Whoever it is, she should be happy to get my virility!" Miss Seapony snapped at him. "Let's hope that she doesn't inherit your disposition!"

"These two? Sadly, that is unlikely," Ghadab lamented. 

They were talking about us as if we weren't standing right here. It was kind of rude.

"We're standing right here!" Sunflower shouted, beating me to the punch and fluffing her feathers. "Don't talk about us like we aren't!"

"Hahaha! My candidate has backbone!" Ghadab cackled.

"Rebecca was ready to do the same thing!" Miss Seapony protested. 

"But she was too slow, whore. Point to mine," Ghadab counted.

Miss Seapony raised her snout high. "I hardly call that point-worthy."

"And smashing her face into a wall is?" Ghadab asked dismissively.

"Maybe," Miss Seapony answered with a snort. "It shows bravery in a much more difficult circumstance. If Sha'am were still with us, Sunflower's little outburst would be seen as a braver feat, but Sha'am is gone."

"I think that mouthing off in front of Sha'am might have been considered more foolhardy instead of brave, but we digress," Arbiter said. 

"She wasn't that bad after we censored her," Ghadab said. "She was almost kind at times after that…almost, and she had a way with foals that I envy to this day. I miss her. I miss the old skeleton and the no-tongue sneak."

Miss Seapony nodded sadly. "Me too."

Phobia sighed. "Forgive us for discussing you as if you aren't present. With the field now so limited, and the urgency to make a decision more pressing, the merits of every action you take, no matter how small, is more likely to be quickly examined, judged, and debated. You are hearing only a small portion of what is happening right now. There are many animated and heated arguments happening simultaneously that we are keeping out of sight-"

"I've been disemboweled three times in the last five minutes!" Miss Seapony protested.

"You deserved it after what you said about me!" Arbiter shouted. 

"Let's keep the more violent disagreements private, shall we?" Psychic Calm said. 

Phobia's shadow grimaced. "Anyway, this will be a very trying time for both of you. Do your best, and try not to let the stress get to you. We would hate to have to focus on additional candidates this late in the process."

I remembered something and looked at Psychic Calm. "Sorry about your friend. I didn't know him very well, but I know he was important to you."

"First to show compassion regarding Psychy Wikies' loss,'' Miss Seapony said quickly. 

"Only because the nightmare queen stressed to her how important the guards are to our mortal siblings!" Ghadab protested.

Arbiter slammed her staff down. "Can we just let a show of compassion be just that for a moment? I know the three of us are dead, so we don't get it as quickly, but our brother is in mourning!"

Yinyu pressed her fins together and looked down. "Sorry, Psychy."

Ghadab's fire dimmed. "My apologies, head shrink."

"Forgive Yinyu and Ghadab for their competitiveness as well. Being dead leaves them with little excitement, and having their favorite candidates as the remaining finalists is about as good as it gets for them," Phobia said in a long-suffering tone.

The stag nodded. "I understand our siblings' zeal. I accept the apology."

Arbiter frowned. "Maybe it is a good thing that they get to see us as we naturally behave around each other. I'm going to miss you, Psy. You were the only one who never descended into childish squabbling."

"You include yourself in that, sycophant?" Ghadab asked snidely. 

Arbiter gripped her staff tightly as she glared at him. "Oh, I know I'm as guilty as the rest of you."

"You do like to hit us with that stick," Ghadab agreed. "Such a violent person."

"I'm about to beat a bush with a stick," Arbiter growled. 

Oh, dear. 

Miss Seapony burst out laughing, and Arbiter's ears flattened. The others looked ready to laugh; even Phobia's shadow somehow looked amused. I wanted to laugh, but I might lose points with Arbiter if I did that. Were we being graded on points? They talked about points. They could have just been saying that, but they hadn't clarified. 

"Laugh it up, Yinyu," Arbiter said. 

"Oh, I will!" Miss Seapony said and then when back to guffawing. 

"You walked yourself into that one, sycophant," Ghadab said with amusement. 

Arbiter waved a hand. "I know. I know. I realized my error as soon as I said it. I would say she has such a dirty mind, but the rest of you are ready to laugh too. Phobia is even smirking."

Miss Seapony got her giddiness under control and smiled at us. "Arbiter wasn't always such a stick in the mud. She was pretty fun when she was still alive, playful even. She'd get into all kinds of mischief and sang songs to calm herself when she got scared. She even had a very active sex life with-"

"Do you mind?!" Arbiter said, flailing her staff at Miss Seapony. 

Miss Seapony giggled. "I don't mind at all."

Blanche put her hand on Roger, who jumped at the touch. "Hey, be calm. I was just going to point out that you should be glad you are out of the running. The three of us could never fit in with the chemistry of these maniacs. Rebecca and Sunflower are the only ones who possibly could."

Roger gave her a half-hearted smile, but he still looked miserable. I walked over and hugged him; Sunflower had the same idea and hugged him in conjunction with me. After a moment, Jonathan bent down and joined us. I glanced up at Blanche, but she shook her head. 

"Sorry, I'm not a hugger. That right there was my version of comforting," Blanche said, crossing her arms again. 

The Dreamwardens had vanished sometime while we were hugging Roger. We all knew the six of them were still there, or at least the three who never went away were at least, but I was happy that they were at least pretending to give us some privacy. Roger was clearly heartbroken, and the Dreamwardens' antics weren't helping things. 

"It's probably just as well," he finally said as we released him. "Mom is in bad shape right now after what she went through. She was carrying around a lot more frustration and resentment than I knew she had. The stuff she said didn't all come from the shadows. They just fed on it and nurtured it. Now she's gone and killed somebody, and nothing can undo that. I need to spend some time with her to help her get through this. Maybe take a semester off from school. I don't think I will tell her yet that I've been dismissed. It might make her more depressed if she gets it in her head that she messed up my chances."

"Won't she get upset if she gets it in her head that you are dropping out of college because of her?" Sunflower asked. 

Roger shook his head. "I don't know, but she's my mom. I have to help her. They're right. I would do anything for my mom. She's sacrificed so much for me."

"It seems cruel that they out and tell you that you'd stopped being a candidate like that," Sunflower said. 

"Maybe they understand that he wants to help his mom, and they didn't want him to feel torn about what to do," I suggested. "I mean, helping his mom is what he really wants. Why lead him on pointlessly when they already decided he wouldn't be the heir? He could be spending that time and energy helping his mom instead of trying in vain to get a job they already decided he wasn't getting. It's the fairest thing they could do."

"Maybe," Sunflower conceded.

Roger looked up at Blanche. "I'm sorry about Ulysses. I know you spent a lot of time with him. My mom wasn't in her right mind."

"We weren't that close. He definitely wasn't a friend," Blanche muttered, refusing to look Roger in the eyes. "He was old and slowing down. He was bound to get in over his head sooner or later."

"He was your mentor when it came to fighting," Jonathan said quietly. "He taught me a thing or two. I know he wasn't always a good man, but he did what he could to help us and did what he thought was best for everyone, even when he got it wrong."

Blanche gripped her hands into fists. "He only understood killing. You never heard what he told me about his past. He deserved to be locked up for life in a dark cell with no windows and no visitors. I don't believe in the death penalty, but for him….If I were Psychic Calm, I would never, never have employed him or given him a chance."

"He couldn't have been that bad," Sunflower said. 

Blanche stomped. "He murdered someone for the first time when he was twelve years old! That one I can forgive. His father was an abusive man, and it could be argued he did it in self-defense, but that wasn't the end of it. He was sick in the head! He murdered people on the smallest provocation! He was in the army, and what he did could only be called war crimes! Sometimes he killed in anger, and sometimes he killed for pleasure. How could that person ever become the trusted bodyguard of the Warden of Peace!"

The stag reappeared, and somehow there was lightning across the clear starry sky. "While the dead hold no secrets, I'm a doctor, a psychiatrist, and I hold to additional oaths than my oaths as Dreamwarden. There is doctor-patient confidentiality. Before he was my friend, he was my patient. A very sick man, as you said. While I cannot disclose anything from our sessions, I can say that I helped him, and he, in turn, loyally guarded me. We talked for many hours, many a day, about the sicknesses that plague the minds of humans and ponies. I was his confidant, and he was mine. I don't know the full details of what happened when he was with you, but I can tell you he was not the same man he was in the stories he told you."

Blanche stared at the Dreamwarden. "And Dreamwardens can't state something they don't believe to be true."

"Not in the dream," Psychic Calm replied. 

"But Dreamwardens can be wrong about what they believe," Blanche pressed.

"True," Psychic Calm admitted, still in a monotone, but the light around us seemed to dim. "However, I had much more experience dealing with him than you. I may not be able to convince you that he was worthy of my friendship, nor may I be able to convince you he was a changed man, but I request that you not be so vocal in your disdain of him in my presence. Whether you think him worthy of being my friend or not is irrelevant. He was my friend. A friend I will never get to see again and didn't get a chance to say goodbye to."

Blanche took notice of the fading light and must have decided that continuing to anger the Warden of Peace might be very foolish because she silently nodded. He nodded back, then vanished. 

"I'm going to do it. I'm going to take a semester off and take care of my mom," Roger said firmly. "Just one semester. It's just as well. I wouldn't be able to focus on school right now. It's better to take a semester off than flunk out the first semester."

I hugged him again, tighter. "It feels like we barely got to know you and you're already leaving. You might have been the competition, but for a little while, we were all in this together. We had an adventure together. You need to hang around Skytree long enough for us to throw you a going away party."

He chuckled. "I'd like that. It's actually a bit of a relief not being in the running anymore. The pressure to please them wasn't the big deal, it was the pressure about what would happen if I won. I guess I'm just not cut out for it."

"Yeah, it is kinda demanding. The stuff they require is hard to deal with," Sunflower said quietly. 

Blanche shook her head. "I'm surprised that the two of you didn't get dismissed for the same reason as him. The Dreamwardens had to be examining you for the same thing. The two of you would have been the last two of us I would have expected to be willing to be that cold."

Sunflower stepped away from Roger and looked away. She didn't say anything for a few seconds before replying, "This job is bigger than our feelings. Sometimes doing the necessary thing can be painful. I knew what I might expose my family to, and they know too, and we all agreed if it ever came up that I would do what was responsible instead of what I want, no matter how much it hurts."

The human frowned and looked at me. "And you?"

I walked over next to Sunflower and put my wing on her as I faced Blanche. "I'd thought about it before. I was always hesitant to get in a relationship because I knew what I could expose my loved ones to. I still don't think I will ever have foals for the same reason. I'm willing to risk the relationship now, but Russell and I both know what can happen, and we know what I have to do if it does. Though I admit I only recently came to that full conclusion." 

"What about you, Blanche?" Sunflower asked. "I know you dropped out, but could you do it?"

She smirked. "The good thing about dropping out of the race is I don't have to figure that out." Her smirked shifted into a slight frown. "But that isn't an honest answer. The honest answer is that I'm willing to lay my life down for someone else, but I'm not willing to have them do the same for me. I guess I'd have been dismissed if I hadn't already conceded."

"Same," Jonathan said. "It's part of why I conceded to begin with. I knew this question was coming, and if you had asked me before Blanche and I went to that other world, I would have given another answer, but things changed; we changed. 

Blanche's smirk returned as she turned her attention to Roger. "I guess we owe you an apology. If we hadn't already dropped out, you wouldn't have to have been dismissed by yourself today. The Dreamwardens would have kicked all three of us out of the running together."

Roger chuckled. "I admit, being singled out like that hurt my feelings."

I hung my head. "I guess we won't be seeing much of you guys after Roger's party, will we?"

Blanche laughed. "Oh, you'll be seeing Jonathan and me. Do you honestly think we won't hang around to help whoever wins out? The two of you need someone to keep you out of trouble. I think you proved that by bashing your head into that wall. I lament either of you trying to navigate politics by yourselves. Roger might have managed, but you two are hopeless."

Jonathan raised his hand and smiled. "Willing to lay my life down for someone else."

I smiled. "Going the bodyguard route?"

Blanche cocked an eyebrow at us. "Can you think of anybody better? Better to sit behind the throne than on it."