//------------------------------// // 02 - Crossover // Story: FOREVER!!! // by DrWTF //------------------------------// Crossover         The message read:         Dash,         There are some... irregularities in Pinkie and Golden’s test results. You need to come here.         -Twilight         Three seconds later the steel doors of Ponyville General Horsepital tore off their hinges. Uneasiness gnawed at Dash as she sat on the uncomfortable waiting room couch. She’d flown at lightspeed, fought gruesome monsters, and, occasionally, saved the world from total annihilation, but nothing knifed her insides harder than the fifteen uncertain minutes she’d spent in the waiting room. Then Twilight came out and explained things to the best of her abilities, but even she looked utterly flummoxed by the circumstances. Another expert was rapidly consulted to inform the confused parties.         Age (and Sky Swimmer’s hoof to the back of her head) had taught Moon Healer something approaching bedside manner, but the urge to groan in disbelief quivered in her lower lip. “Miss Sparkle, you are, are you not, possibly the most esteemed and learned scholar of magic Equestria, or indeed the world, has ever known?” “Um,” Twilight flinched. “Guilty as charged.” “Then how could you not know about this?” Twilight held up a hoof. “To be fair, my studies mostly cover unicorn and alicorn magic. True, I knew about cellular pegasi magic, but I didn’t quite grasp how it could be ah...” Twilight blushed. “Applied.”  A slight groan passed Moon Healer’s lips despite her best efforts. “And the both of you? What are your excuses?”         “mmph,” a sound replied from behind massive wings. Golden Harvest stroked the strings of pink hair seeping through bent feathers. “mpmhrmm mdmm sdmmdn dkksmmmnsn jfunnmssnn.”         “She said ‘After I started living on the ground I went to school in Ponyville.’” Harvest translated for Moon Healer, then bent back down to catch the rest of Fluttershy’s reply. “‘And their- curriculum -didn’t cover the matter at hand.’” Harvest patted the mortified pony softly. “Are you ready to come out now, Canaryface?” “MMMPH,” the sound growled. “And I kinda, um,” Dash coughed, “‘missed’ a few classes in flight school for some, ah, extracurricular sleep studies.” “Including sex ed, I take it.” “W-well, I figured if I knew the basic plumbing-” “But knowing what runs through the pipes is just as crucial.” A slightly creaky wing motioned toward Pinkie Pie and Golden Harvest. “Or this is where we wind up.” Moon Healer’s hoof tapped the page she’d opened to in Why Are My Feathers Stiff? A Guide To Your Changing Body: “Chapter 6 - How Did THAT Happen?! Lesbian Couples & Accidental Pregnancies.” *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *         “WHHAAAAAAAAAA???????!!!!!!!” The magenta-hued, rainbow-haired pegasus celestianed Dashalina Joanne Pie shrieked, her irises shrinking to dust specks, her puffy mane deflating slightly. “Yup, that’s how your dad reacted too,” Pinkie nodded sagely. “Like motherfather like daughter. She wasn’t the worst though. Auntie Fluttershy went completely birdhouse and tried to cut Twilight with a scalpel.” Thank Celestia Moon Healer, resourceful physician that she was, always had a supply of horse tranquilizers to deal with extreme reactions.   Pinkie drew Dashie Pie’s hoof into her own. “I know how it is to be sixteen, bubblemuffin, and it’s fine if you and Apple Quartz wanna bump marshmallows-” Dashie Pie’s pink face darkened to a cherry red shade. “Whuh- I, uh, d-don’t um...” “Next time, I’d skip the living room. The air vent connects directly to the one over our bed. And Quartz can be kinda... loud.” “EEEW!” Dashie ripped her hoof from her mother’s embrace. “MOOOM! Wait. How... how does this, uhm, ‘process’ work, exactly?” “I sorta forgot most of it,” Pinkie squinted, “But it has something to do with pegasussus’ inherent magicalness. Normally it’s used to boost flight speed n’ stuff, but sometimes, when a pegasi mare and another mare wanna have a lil’ eeny-teeny version of themselves REALLY badly or, sometimes, just kinda badly, the pegasi’s internal magic helps them out! I think your pater can tell you a little more about it.” “I kinda wish it was dad telling me this.” Dashie’s eyes scanned the room. “And where is dad, anyway?” A polychromatic blur blasted through the kitchen, drawing a pitcher of orange juice, toast with jam, and a vegetable omelet into its churning maelstrom. “Heypinkheykiddommmthanks breakfastisfantasticpinkhaveagooddayatschoolkiddoohhaylookatthetimegottadashBYE!” it stammered before splintering a plate glass window which stood in its path. “Your daddy was a skosh more jarred at your (heee!) ‘signs of maturity’ than I was.” Pinkie took out four bits from Dash’s change drawer and dropped them into the “Dash and Dashie’s Glass Smash Repair Fund” jar, shaking her head sadly. “Oh, bluebird. And you were doing so well, too...” Dashie’s hooves tapped impatiently on the linoleum, her feathers bunching anxiously. “Sooo... are we done here? Am I free to go up to my room and die from embarrassment?” “Nearly.” Pinkie pulled a small red box, with intricate runes carved into it, out of her mane. “Now, normally, you wouldn’t hafta worry about this stuff until your late 20s or so, but sometimes, there’s a couple... accidents.” Pinkie pried the top off the box, revealing its contents. “Better to be Pinkie-Safe than Pinkie-Sorry!” Inside was a black headband, covered in strange glyphs and symbols glowing faintly against the dark cloth. “Zecora started making these after Ruby and Apple Quartz were born.” Though Pinkie hadn’t been there to see it, Twilight had midwifed and later told her friends that after Applejack had passed two tiny unicorns through her lower body she’d grabbed Rarity by the throat and informed her ‘If yew ever put me through that agi’n, ahm gunna tear off yer horn with mah bare hooves n’ hateshank ya!!!’  And, even though their pregnancy had been planned, Rarity wasn’t leaving anything to chance. “You and Quartz have a ‘study date’ tonight, doncha? Then you’ll definitely need this! It’s a sure-fire lovechild stopper!” “Th-thanks,” Dashie sputtered, quickly snatching the headband and stuffing it into the amorphous hair cloud bouncing on her back. “But... don’t you need it?”             “Nope!” Pinkie grinned. “Zecora can make another one. And besides, it’s kinda pointless now.”                  Dashie gaped at her mother. “Mom?”         “Surprise! You’re gonna be a big sister!”