Cooking for Trouble

by AFanaticRabbit


Of Veggies and Pie

Carousel Boutique was always busy around the holidays. Between the influx of new orders and the flurry of customers prior to Hearthswarming, Rarity had her work cut out for her.

Normally, though, Rarity would be cutting fabric instead of vegetables.
The process was certainly different, but Rarity found long ago there was a certain zen feeling she enjoyed when preparing a larger meal. Being deft with her telekinesis meant she could rapidly slice up the various vegetables and find herself in a similar mental state when she worked alone on a new ensemble. Her mind fell at ease, her thoughts wandering away, while she was entirely, completely, focused on the task at hoof.

The heat of the oven beside her was a little intense, but it was cozy on its own, and the kitchen smelled delightful, mixed with the smell of freshly cut vegetables and flour, and a saucepan on the stovetop added the smell of cinnamon and the citrussy scent of oranges.

It was, of course, a little difficult to ignore the grumbling and clanging coming from a little further along the kitchen counter.

“Is something the matter, darling?” Rarity asked without looking away from the aubergine being reduced to mouth watering slivers.

“This feels too complicated.”

Rarity trusted her muscle memory to her task and looked over to her left. With flour across her snout and criss-crossed over her shoulders, Twilight Sparkle looked as much of a mess as she probably felt. In front of her was a poorly flattened piece of dough. It was sheered and crumbling, and was definitely a little too dry from Twilight being a little overzealous with the flour.

“It’s pie dough, darling. How is it complicated?”

“I don’t know,” said Twilight. “I don’t cook much.”

That was certainly true, though Rarity had hoped that something as easy as pie—very literally—would be easy for Twilight to make, especially given half of her best friends all made them regularly.

With a sigh, Rarity placed the knife down on the cutting board then made her way over to Twilight. “I figured you’d find this fairly straightforward, dear.”

Twilight backed up as Rarity squeezed in front of her, readily squishing the dough back together. A frown tugged at her face, which Rarity ignored. With a quick point of a hoof, Rarity said, “Slice those? Same way I’ve done them.”
“Yes, chef.” Twilight’s tone came across as snarky, but there was no delay in her actions. She was already at the counter and slicing away once Rarity was kneading the dough back together.

“I thought you said you don’t cook much, yet here you are, already using the right parlance.” Rarity threw her head back as she kneaded the dough, warming it up and hopefully inducing a little more stickiness so it would roll out more neatly. She grinned at Twilight, who stuck out her tongue.

Turning back to the dough, Rarity thought over Twilight’s little outburst. It was mild, but that was what it was, and it wasn’t the first of that week.

They had planned this evening a while ago, sent out invites, found gifts early in case they weren’t able to give them on Hearthswarming proper. Twilight, the poor dear, had overthought every little detail. Rarity was in her element, even with all the pressure of making gifts for clients and friends on top of those for that evening.

“Tonight will be fine, darling.” The ball of dough had indeed rediscovered it’s ability to stick, and Rarity sprinkled a much lighter dusting of flour on the counter before she proceeded to roll it flat with a pin. “I’m sure they will get along just fine. I’ve met your parents, and you’ve met mine, and we all get along fantastically.”

“You’ve barely said more than hello to my parents,” said Twilight.

Rarity chuckled. “That may be so, but they still know their fair share about me. I know your mother has been to the Canterlot Boutique on more than one occasion, too.” Once the dough was flat enough, Rarity looked to Twilight with a raised shoulder and a confident smirk. “She knows art when she sees it.”

Twilight stopped a moment, and gave Rarity a glance with a raised eyebrow. “…Yeah I can’t argue with that confidence when it works on me.” She laughed and shook her head before going back to her cutting. It took a double take before Twilight realised she included the stalk of an aubergine in one of the ingredient bowls by mistake, then tossed it.

“Exactly.” Rarity placed the flattened dough over a pie tin, then pushed it into the corners with her hoof and a cloth. “And it’s not like you have a problem with my parents.”

“Your dad’s… interesting.” The sounds of slicing were speeding up, though the consistency was still varied, from what Rarity could spy from the corner of her eye. “He kinda reminds me of Applejack.”

Rarity sliced off the excess dough around the edge of the pie tin, then balled it up and set it aside. She then grabbed some apples from a nearby fruit bowl, and began cutting them up and placing the slices into the pie. “That doesn’t surprise me. I’m pretty sure he used to rough-house with her father way back when, you know.”

“Right.” Twilight stepped back and set her knife down. “Doesn’t this need a sauce?”

“Yes, but not yet.” Each slice of apple was placed into the pan in two rings, and as Rarity pointed to a door in one corner of the kitchen, she retrieved a small, glass container from a rack tucked right into the corner of the counter. “In the pantry, there’s some canned tomatoes.”

“That sounds a little lazy.”

“This whole meal is lazy, darling.” Popping the top of the container, Rarity sprinkled some of the cinnamon sugar onto the pie. “Though you’d be hard pressed to find anyone in Ponyville who doesn’t used cans of chopped tomatoes. Carrot Top must make a fortune with that idea of hers.”

A distant, sharp knocking caught both mares’ attention. Without delay, Rarity set off out of the kitchen immediately, but not before pointing back to Twilight with a hoof. “Stay here, sauté the vegetables.”

“What now?”

Rarity rolled her eyes. “Lightly fry them.” Before Rarity received a flurry of questions on ‘how light is light’ and more, she was already trotting down the hallway.

While the Boutique was large, it had two entrances. One was at the front, in a foyer leading to Rarity’s business. The other was at the end of a shorter corridor as part of a square structure that jutted out the back of the building, unseen to most visitors.

For Rarity, her family, and some of those she trusted, it was how they often came and went.

The curtains in front of the four-panelled window were drawn, though Rarity nudged them aside briefly before giving a small smile and wave. She then stepped back and opened the door.

Between the pre-heated oven and the wood burner Rarity had started an hour prior, her home was toastily warm. That heat stood in stark contrast to the icy weather outside. There was frost on the grass and a stiff breeze that made all of Rarity’s fur stand on end. Clenching her jaw, she hid her discomfort behind a smile as warm and inviting as she hoped her home was. “You’re early!” Rarity said with as much cheer as she could find.

She could find a lot with Twilight’s parents. Night Light and Twilight Velvet both looked the part. Night Light had his short, blue mane neatly combed forward as it always was, and wore a scarf and jacket in neutral colours to keep himself warm. It wasn’t from any designer Rarity recognised, but it was smart looking.

Twilight Velvet was almost a copy of her daughter, save for her almost white hued fur, lilac mane and the starting wrinkles of middle age. She wore a coat of Rarity’s from last season, matching the colour of her mane.
Both carried a pair of boxes, under one leg for Night Light, and one on Twilight Velvet’s back.

“It pays to be punctual,” said Night Light, smiling at Rarity.

“It doesn’t hurt to be a little late.” Rarity chuckled, then stepped back with a gesture, letting the couple step inside. She took their scarves and jackets in exchange for little nods of thanks, and shut the door behind her with a little twinkle of her horn.

Twilight Velvet lifted her head and sniffed, and a grin spread across her lips. “Oh, that smells good. Care to spoil us on what it is you’ve got planned for us?”

Rarity, leading the two onward, tutted and shook her head. “A lady doesn’t spoil the surprise. I’m sure you’ll love it, all the same.” Instead of leading them to the kitchen, Rarity lead them to a small living room. It was very much tacked on after Rarity bought and renovated the building, but it was large enough for most days. Four seats, plus a stool, and Rarity could always steal one of the dining chairs from the kitchen if everypony wanted a seat.

It was also tastefully decorated, with the curtains swapped out to a deep red fabric, with little statuettes and figurines representing the old tribe leaders acting as paper weights on the coffee table in the middle of the room. Tucked into one corner of the room was a fake pine tree, which was gaudily decorated with strips of tinsel, though Rarity accepted it made everything feel a little more homely, rather than out of a catalogue. There were only a few boxes underneath it, each all carefully and perfectly wrapped.

“Please, take a seat, and plop those under the tree.” Rarity gestured her head at Night Light andd Twilight’s Velvet gifts. “Twilight is hopefully taking care of the food for now, so let me go get you two something to drink.”

“I don’t suppose you have anything hard, do you? Whiskey, sherry…?” Night Light asked.

“I just might.” Rarity nodded. “Has Twilight told you two about Sweet Apple Acres?”

Night Light raised an eyebrow, then turned to Twilight Velvet as she knitted her eyebrows together in thought.

A moment later, they popped up, and she grinned. “That’s owned and run by your friend Applejack, right?” she asked. “I heard her family’s cider is the talk of Ponyville.”

Night retained his bemused expression as he looked back at Rarity.

Rarity nodded. “So she does talk about more than me, then.” With a giggle, she turned turned to leave the living room. “Yes, that is one way of putting it. We’ve got some mulled cider ready for everypony. I’ll be right back with some mugs.”
When Rarity entered the kitchen again, it smelled a little burnt. There wasn’t any visible smoke, but the scent of it filled Rarity’s nose and grew strongest as she passed behind Twilight emptying a shallow pan into a baking dish.

“Not yet!” Rarity gripped the pan with her magic, and Twilight turned to her with wide eyes. “The sauce goes in first. Use the same pan to make that.”

“Why does the sauce go in first?” asked Twilight.

Rarity opened her mouth, then clicked it shut again. “I… I’m not sure. But it’s how it’s done, apparently, so stick to it.”

As Rarity relinquished the pan, a smirk curled up on Twilight’s lips. “Yes, chef.”

“Stop it.” Rarity gently jabbed Twilight’s chest with a hoof, which got a small chortle from the alicorn. Despite Rarity’s tone, she smiled. “Your parents are here, in case you didn’t hear.”

Twilight nodded as she turned back to her work. She gave a little piece of paper a once over, then frowned at the baking tray before picking out some of the vegetables there—bell peppers and onions, mostly.

Retrieving two mugs, Rarity then filled them with from the saucepan with a ladle.

“Are you sure they’re going to want that?” Twilight asked.

“I offered it, and your mother sounded quite excited. What’s wrong?”

Twilight shrugged. “Mom is more the wine type, and dad likes his whiskey. Warm cider just feels like it’s outside their comfort zone.”

“Then I shall bring it into their comfort zone. I’m sure they’ll enjoy it. You’ve taken a shine to it, just like moi.”
Twilight blew a raspberry through her lips.

Rarity giggled and pecked Twilight’s cheek. “Add some garlic, then the tomatoes. Once the sauce is done, put that in the tray, then the vegetables.”

“Yes, chef.”

Another knock at the door made Rarity pause at the living room door. Both mugs followed her as she moved over to peer through the window again, then she pulled it open.

“There’s my girl!” bellowed Hondo Flanks as he threw himself around Rarity. Her father was a big, heavy-set stallion, with a short clipped white coat and a short brown mane. He was smiling, which curled up his bushy moustache. He didn’t have any warm clothes to speak of, save for his hat, but the straw thing clearly did little more than keep some potential drifting snow from falling on his snout.

Behind him, smiling brightly and hiding her grin behind a hoof, was Rarity’s mother, Cookie Crumble. While shorter than Hondo, her bright purple beehive mane rose above him and his hat. She was also dressed far more appropriately than Hondo, with one of Rarity’s scarves around her throat and a padded jacket in the same design as Twilight Velvet’s. Floating beside her were another three boxes.

“Hello, father. Mother.” Rarity couldn’t help but giggle a little. “Um, could you perhaps both come in before I catch a cold?”

“Oh! Right.” As he let Rarity go, Hondo Flanks’ chuckle came like an Ursa’s footsteps. “Ooh, cider. Don’t mind if I do.”

“That’s not—“ It was too late, as Hondo snatched the mug and guzzled down half its contents while he sauntered along to the kitchen.

Rarity sighed, and she handed the other mug to her mother, in exchange for her scarf and vest. With a sheepish smile, she shrugged to Rarity and darted after her husband.

Rarity followed too, though she stopped briefly in front of the living room and mouthed a quick apology to Twilight’s parents. They shared a glance, and Rarity saw them get up before she continued to the kitchen.

“G-good to see you too, Mister Flanks!”

Rarity came into the kitchen to see her father holding Twilight by the shoulders, pulling her back into another death grip of a hug. To Rarity’s surprise, she hadn’t dropped a bubbling pan into the baking tray.

“Please, I told you you can just call me Hondo,” Hondo said with another deep, rough laugh. “Or you can call me dad.”
“That totally won’t get confusing,” said Twilight, and she looked over to Rarity with a plead for help in her eyes.

“Hondo, dear, what has got into you.” Cookie tutted and shook her head, while she pulled out another pair of mugs and started to fill them. “Let Twilight go, she’s got a hot pan!” She floated the mugs over to Rarity, where Rarity took them in her own telekinesis. The boxes she came in with were stacked onto the centre of the dining table.

With at least some sense of humility, Hondo looked to his wife and stepped back from Twilight, who did little to hide her relief. With the assistance of a spoon, she slopped over the rest of the sauce and flattened it down, and carefully began inserting the vegetable slices into it.

“Sorry, sweetheart! I’m just excited to actually meet the ones that spawned Twily here.”

Twilight paused a moment, shooting Rarity a look, and Rarity replied with a helpless shrug and raised eyebrows. She added a mouthed, ‘30 minutes,’ to Twilight.

With a glance over her shoulder, Rarity saw a grinning Twilight Velvet, and a bemused Night Light in the kitchen doorway.
“We heard a commotion,” said Velvet, by way of explanation, before giving the rest of the kitchen her attention. “Twilight!”
Twilight’s ears pricked up fro behind the oven as she slid the tray in, before quickly perking up and grinning back. “Hi mom! Hi dad!”

Rarity was quickly squeezed out of the way of the reunion. Twilight threw a hoof over their shoulders, and they each shared a kiss on the cheek with her.

“How was the trip? I know it’s not long, but…”

“Could have been worse.”

“It was fine!”

Velvet and Night glanced at each other.

“It was a little rickety,” said Night Light a moment later.

“Pah, sounds like the Ponyville Express,” said Hondo. “Old girl’s been running for about as long as I’ve been alive, longer maybe, and I’m pretty ancient.”

“You’re fourty-two, dear,” interjected Cookie.

With a dismissive snort, Hondo made his way up to Night Light and Twilight Velvet, a big smile painted beneath his lip brush.

“You must be Twilight’s parents! I haven’t heard a lot about you. Velveeta and Light Switch, right?”
Twilight and Rarity stared at each other from across the room for a moment, while Night Light and Twilight Velvet stared at Hondo. Not a moment was spared as Hondo burst into trembling laughter as Twilight retrieved yet another pair of mugs, and carefully filled them.

“I’m joking, I’m joking. Mostly, anyway. Good to meet you, Night Light, Twilight Velvet. I’m Hondo, and that bombshell behind me is Cookie.” He glanced over his shoulder, and on seeing Cookie’s proximity to Twilight, he added, “The other bombshell.”

“Dad!” Rarity shouted, while Cookie giggled at a reddening Twilight.

“What? Are you saying your marefriend isn’t a looker? Half of everything you say about her is about how pretty she is.”

“That’s not—it’s not the—“

Hondo’s laughter filled the room again, while Rarity rolled her eyes and handed over the steaming mugs to Twilight Velvet and Night Light then stamped over to stand beside Twilight. Both of Twilight’s parents looked into their drinks, then in unison sniffed them and sipped them.

Night Light continued to look confused at his mug, while Twilight Velvet muttered, “Ooh, cinnamon!”
Rarity snatched one of the mugs from Twilight and took a swig. She felt Twilight’s eyes on her, burning at least a little bit of judgement into the side of her head.

Night Light set his mug aside, then cleared his throat. In an instant, his bewildered, fraught expression melted away into a confident, business-like smile.

“Good to meet you, Hondo. Twilight has told me a fair bit about you. You work at the station, right?”
Hondo nodded. “Yup! Site manager for the freight warehouse. We don’t get a lot in, but we sure do move a lot out. Farming community and all that.”

“How long have you been at it?”

“As manager? Oh, about ten years or so. Before that I was assistant manager, and worked up from being one of the lackeys when I left school, carrying boxes back and forth.” He flexed a thick leg. “These guns ain’t just for show!”
Night Light only spared the briefest glance at Hondo’s ‘muscle’. “Right. And what about your wife?”

Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship, took a long swig of her mug.

“Oh I don’t do much,” said Cookie. “I clean around the house, I cook for my darling here. Besides that we still have our little Sweetie Belle to take care of. Thank goodness she has her friends’ families to stay with this evening.”

“Anything else?” asked Night Light, which earned him a light punch from his wife.

“Well, I have started working on a novel.”

“Hm.” Night Light stared at Hondo. “Have either of our daughters told you what I do?”

“You’re some type of business pony, right?” Hondo looked Night Light up and down. “You look the type. Reedy and overly styled.”

“Hondo!” shouted Cookie.

“No, no, it’s true,” said Night Light, holding up a hoof toward Cookie. “But business is half appearances. I guess I take it home with me a lot. Besides, I wanted to look my best for my daughter’s potential in-laws.” He lifted a hoof and bumped up Hondo’s hat. “I’m not entirely sure that sentiment has been shared.”

The two stallions stared at each other, their smiles having melted away, and the mares in the room shared glances with each other. Rarity caught the lingering looks between Cookie and Velvet, and something inside her rose up in concern as they nodded at one another. They stepped forward, standing beside their husbands, wearing serious, straight mouthed expressions.

Then the tension snapped like a twig when Hondo and Night Light burst into laughter, with Night Light lowering his head and Hondo slapping him on the shoulders with a hoof.

“The looks on your faces,” said Night Light. “I’m sorry, that was very rude of us.”

“Glad I found somepony with my sense of humour! I was worried you’d try and be a kiss-up.”

Rarity and Twilight both sighed at the same time, which in turn lead to them looking at one another. They shared a laugh together, with Rarity placing her head into Twilight’s neck.

“And here I was worrying I’d have to convince you two to break out the baby pictures,” said Twilight Velvet. She and Cookie giggled at one another. Meanwhile Hondo and Night Light looked at Twilight Velvet for a moment, and horror tensed up Twilight and Rarity’s bodies.

Two wallets materialised beside Hondo and Night Light an instant later

“We still can do that,” said Night Light.

“That’s a competition our Rarity will definitely win,” said Hondo.

“Our Twily is surely the cuter one, and goodness I can tell you some great stories."

“Oh no,” muttered Rarity.

“Kinda wishing they wouldn’t get along,” added Twilight, and then the two took a swig of their drinks in unison.