//------------------------------// // Discovery // Story: Split Seed // by Estee //------------------------------// It felt as if she must have been cold for a very long time. That was the first thing Apple Bloom became aware of as she slowly rose up through layers of sleep: something which, when she finally registered the presence of air against her fur, further discovered a total lack for any layers of blankets. Because chill tended to soak into the body. It usually started by trying to put a touch of frost into the tips of her coat. Given enough time, the void of degrees would work its way down to the skin. Ignore it for too long and it would find a means to get through, entering the muscles before forcing its way deeper still... There weren't as many chores to do on the Acres in winter. But Apple Bloom had a few, and the Weather Bureau always scheduled at least one extended period of true hard freeze. Without mercy. It meant she was intimately familiar with what deep cold felt like, for that which was imposed from the outside as well as the chill which rose from within. And with the former... She recognized the cause before her eyes fully opened: she'd kicked her blankets away. Something which had happened a minimum of an hour ago, and done so during a night when at least one window hadn't been fully resealed. (She automatically blamed Scootaloo.) The virtual ice was well beyond her initial lines of biological defense, but hadn't quite managed to fight its way down to the skeleton yet. It would still be possible to warm up in something under another hour. Finding an active fireplace would help. Of course, she was a farm kid. Waking up at nearly any hour usually meant she had to get started on chores. Apple Bloom softly sighed, and forced herself to look around. Even in the near-darkness created by a pre-dawn hour and Moon getting close to the horizon, she managed to spot the open window first. The first line of defense hadn't been breached so much as neglected, and the enemy was steadily working its way through the ignored checkpoint. Homecoming had only been scheduled for warmth during the day, and the extra degrees had dissipated quickly. Some of the renewed chill was passing over Scootaloo, and restlessness-exposed feathers vibrated as the pegasus shivered. The next thing she found within the shadows was the second guest bed. Those blankets had collapsed across vacuum in a way which had a miniature hollow mounding up the fabric, as if a cat-sized filly was trying to take shelter from the cold. And a little pressed-in section of ruffle showed where a bulging pair of too-basic saddlebags had once been leaning against the side. Babs was gone. It was possible that Apple Bloom wasn't quite awake enough to be surprised. Most of the awareness she'd scrounged seemed to be directed at a rather more basic level of irritation. She didn't have to wonder about what had happened. It was so obvious. Applejack had made the typical unilateral decision, because asking the younger sister for her opinion was still a very rare event. Babs had been sent back on the earliest train. It took a fair amount of time to reach Manehattan and maybe this way, her cousin would get back to her classes a little sooner because clearly school was the true priority. And Apple Bloom had been sleeping so deeply (or trapped in the nightscape to the point where she couldn't escape) as to have missed the whole thing. Typical.. Even the thought was irritated. Ah didn't even get the chance t' say goodbye. Would have been nice t' see her off. ...Ah think... ...very least, could've trotted down t' the train station with 'em. When did they...? She wasn't sure. Given how dark it was outside, it was possible that they were still on the way -- especially since Apple Bloom wasn't entirely sure just when the first train out actually left. It was possible that there were extra departures running, trying to get everypony away from Homecoming. You could do that, when you were an adult. It was the kids who couldn't escape. Least it's over. Another year 'til the stupid good plates come out again. But the thought wasn't bringing much in the way of relief, and she tried again. Another dinner an' holiday over with. ...Ah don't remember most of dinner. Hardly anythin'. Jus' when did Ah...? She didn't know. But she was now awake enough to be fully aware of her own body, and a certain twinge in her bladder suggested that she'd been asleep for a very long time. The youngest Malus managed to repress nearly all of the soft moan. Slowly, carefully extracted herself from the bed, then forced herself into a short detour: the window had to be closed. This was followed by careful teeth going to work, and Scootaloo was quickly covered up again. There's mah quilt. A mound of puffy shadow near the wall. Got some distance on the kick. There was something odd about that. If Babs was gone, and the quilt was against the wall... The half-concept nagged at the chilled edges of her mind, and did so without ever truly coalescing into a thought. Apple Bloom had something rather more urgent to deal with. Babs was on the way home. If the filly had been more awake, that might have meant any number of things. Right now, it mostly told her that the bathroom was available. Granny was softly snoring, and so at least one thing was right with the dark world. Apple Bloom wasn't the first one up. Her sister was presumably at the train station -- or still on the way there, possibly heading back... there were plenty of options for Applejack, and all of them irritated the youngest because she'd been left out of every last one. But when it came to this level of the farmhouse, the filly seemed to be the only one awake. However, she could hear the faint impressions of adult hoofsteps coming up from below: somepony trying to move quietly. Process of elimination had Mac getting an early start. It still meant the bathroom was available, and she went inside. She took her time about toiletries. Splashed a little water in her face to falsely complete the waking-up process, and then made sure her fur was completely dried after: chores meant she was probably going to wind up going outside well before Sun was fully raised. Whenever that is. Should've peeked at the clock. Don't smell anypony startin' on breakfast. In fact, she wasn't getting much in the way of food scents at all. A quality which usually wasn't absent on the morning after Homecoming. ...door's closed. Door's gonna block out most of it. Comin' in an', thank Moon, goin' out. Go down the ramp. Greet her brother, find something to eat, dig a jacket out of the closet, and then get an early start on chores. It would provide her with time in which to think, and... maybe she could figure out what to do about Diamond. Even when it was now starting to seem possible that Mr. Rich wasn't going to turn up on the doorstep, might never come -- -- maybe she'll never turn up on the Acres again. Never even look at me durin' classes. No Diamond, no more. Ever. She... wasn't sure how she felt about that, and her mind quickly changed the topic. Didn't even get t' say goodbye t' Babs. Thanks, sis. Thanks a lot. ...how do Ah feel 'bout Babs? Weary orange eyes stared into the mirror. The reflection of a rather confused filly gazed back. How do Ah really feel...? She didn't know. Maybe she would be able to work it out after she ate something. Her bladder had been full. Her stomach didn't seem to have fully participated in the holiday activities. Jus' go t' the kitchen. There's gonna be leftovers. Some of 'em should be nearly decent. Apple Bloom exited the bathroom, stepping quietly so as to let her grandmother and friend sleep. Headed for the ramp. Probably gotta get there before Mac finishes off the best of it. Which he might have already done, big as he is. ...stupid brother. But Mac wasn't in the kitchen. "Mornin'," offered the actual occupant of the well-lit room -- and then powerful orange shoulders shrugged. "Technically, anyway. Ah jus' wrapped up some of the cleanin' in the sittin' room. That much less t' do." How early was that first train out? For Applejack to have gotten back and already be at work... Maybe she didn't see Babs off. Just left her at the platform an' turned around on the spot -- -- no. Not when it's family. Applejack would have stayed until the departing steamstack had vented. "Mornin'," Apple Bloom half-sighed from her position in the doorway. A mornin' when y'couldn't be bothered t' wake me up -- and she couldn't say that either. Not without starting a fight. It was too early to fight. Applejack looked her over, from bow to tail. Apple Bloom had slept with the bow on, and the bathroom session hadn't been enough to get the whole of her mane untangled. "Smile for me," the older sister ordered. "...what?" "Smile," Applejack repeated. "Nice an' wide. Ah want t' check your temperature." With a perfectly straight face, "An' y'know the smile is doin' it the nice way." Oh. The filly smiled. It felt forced. Fake. The near-grimace also pulled back her lips at the corners, and Applejack carefully pressed her snout against the half-exposed inner surfaces. "Normal," the adult observed as she pulled back. "Good. Ah got worried when y'fell asleep at the table. Y'weren't runnin' a fever last night, but passin' out still felt like y'might be gettin' sick --" and this smile was much more sincere "-- or jus' played around a little too much. Either way, Ah wanted t' let you rest." Which was why she didn't wake me up. And now Apple Bloom was glad for not having said anything. But it still would have been nice to have had the chance at a goodbye. "Jus' a busy day," the filly technically failed to lie. "Today should be a little easier," Applejack offered. "Most of the cleanup got taken care of last night. Even managed t' rope Rainbow into some of it." Which produced a tiny shudder. "An' then Ah didn't lose too much time in cleanin' up after her. It's pretty much jus' standard stuff left, plus the one big thing." "The one big thing," Apple Bloom carefully repeated, because this was her sister and one big job could mean anything from 'scrub down the upper level bathroom' to 'so who wants t' help me clean up after all the pigs?' "Jus' the one," her sister failed to reassure. "Actually..." Green eyes glanced at the nearest clock. "...Ah should probably get started on that now. At least long enough t' work out the schedule. Back in a few." She trotted past Apple Bloom, heading towards the ramp. The filly, already anticipating a long day of dealing with tenants, moved towards the icebox. There was usually plenty of food in it, because the household's calorie assignments had to deal with two working earth pony adults, a pegasus whose hyperactive metabolism had stepped everything up for puberty, and Apple Bloom. But food frequently had to be prepared, and she was saving her energy for the labors ahead. The thought of raw fruits and vegetables didn't seem to be putting any extra saliva into her mouth... It didn't matter. Homecoming had ended, and Apple Bloom had fallen asleep before forcing down her share of the dinner. Even with Mac's appetite potentially having picked up some of the slack, the one thing she could count on for the morning after was leftovers. She nosed the icebox open and stared inside. Multiple empty shelves regarded her with endless patience. ...where's all the stuff? It was a question which came with an immediate answer. Miss Rainbow. 'cause Applejack usually tells everypony t' pack out some extras if'fin they want to, nopony stopped her, and mah breakfast is up in the clouds. Apple Bloom tried to push the irritation back: something which seemed to take more energy than her hungry body could readily provide. There was still food around. She could always have an apple, although even the Maluses tried to discourage that from happening all the time: a pony couldn't quite live on cultivars alone, and it wouldn't take all that long before they stopped enjoying the experience. Or maybe there was some greenhouse lettuce left -- -- there were hooves coming down the ramp. Quickly. "AB?" her sister called ahead. The mare's voice was pitched just a little too loudly for the hour, especially when there was a sleeping elder upstairs. And the tone... "Yeah?" The words themselves were almost calm. A melting sheet of thinning ice over boiling water. "Where's Babs?" The filly blinked. She backed away from the open icebox: the old door failed to swing shut. Turned to face the kitchen entrance, and saw her sister framed within the doorway. Spotted green eyes which were just a little too wide. "She ain't in your room," Applejack quickly said as orange fur began to shift out of grain. "Ain't in the bathroom, neither. An' Ah would've thought she jus' got up a little early an' decided t' wander around the Acres for a while, but her saddlebags are gone. So if y'happen t' know where she is, this would be a really good time --" "-- Ah thought y'took her t' the train an' came right back!" the filly quickly protested. "Get her started out early, so she'd miss less school! That's why Ah didn't say nothin'!" Where is she? The mare's head moved from side to side with enough force to destabilize the hat: an emergency inwards double ear press barely managed to keep it in place. "Ah've only been up for an hour. In the house the whole time. She never went past me. An' it ain't like the alarms go off when someone opens the door from the inside. Not any more --" Because there had been a Crusade, and Applejack's trust in her younger sibling had quickly dwindled -- "-- since Ah've stopped worryin' so much 'bout Scootaloo tryin' to sneak back," the mare softly finished. "Apple Bloom, if'fin y'know where Babs is, y'have t' tell --" "-- maybe she went t' the station on her own?" Apple Bloom's uncertain heart proposed. "She's got the ticket." And her cousin had been making jokes suitable to somepony whose (im)maturity of humor was ahead of the actual years. Who thought she could manage her own affairs, at least in comparison to 'the dobbins'. "Could be." But there was doubt in Applejack's voice, even if it was just barely detectable through the thick layers of self-suffocating concern. "Might even catch up t' her on the road, if we head out quick enough..." She nodded to herself, hard and sharp. "Which is what we're gonna do. Ah'll wake up Mac, tell him we're goin' out an' ask him t' check the Acres. You an' Ah are goin' t' the station. If she's already left, then the attendant would've seen her get on the train. An' Ah can be mad at her for cuttin' out early later --" Or doin' a duck-and-somethin', Apple Bloom's increasingly-frantic thoughts spun out. However that ends -- "-- especially for the part where she didn't tell anypony that's what she was gonna do." Frustration briefly raised the right foreleg, and a solid hoof impact made dishes jump inside the cabinets. (Apple Bloom briefly hoped for something to have happened to the good plates.) "But Ah can forgive her for that, jus' as soon as Ah know she's on the train." The thick blonde tail was starting to lash. "Plus about a moon for calmin'-down purposes. But we've gotta verify, especially with what she's been goin' through. Ah've gotta know she didn't try anythin' stupid --" "Goin' through?" emerged with considerable force. What was in that letter? What didn't y'tell me -- None of it penetrated. "-- an' we need t' start on that now. Grab your jacket." Followed by, in a near-automatic big sister add-on, "An' close the icebox. All the cold's gonna get out --" The mare stopped. Stared, with the intense gaze going over Apple Bloom's back. "-- where did all the food go?" Applejack half-whispered -- followed by, all at once, "Aw, no! She's got it! Supplies! Get that jacket, Apple Bloom! We've gotta --" "-- what's goin' on? What haven't y'been sayin'? Tell me now!" Her volume hadn't increased by all that much. It was the raw force of the demand which pushed her sister back by half a hoofstep, partially collapsing hind legs and putting the tail-binding rope loop against the ground as those green eyes widened in shock... ...but all the voice said was "We ain't got time for a tantrum, AB. Not right now. And y'wanna remember that Granny needs her sleep. Ah'm hopin' that didn't wake her up. Get your jacket --" "-- no. Not until you talk." It had been a statement. She didn't know where Babs was. What had happened, what could be happening. And still, there was no moment other than now. Because she couldn't fix anything when nopony would -- Applejack's legs straightened, took a single step forward as her head went down. Thinner, weaker yellow limbs rotated slightly, ground keratin against the kitchen floor and planted. "Ah said," the older sister softly began as nostrils flared and lips pulled back from teeth, "we ain't got time --" "-- y'had all the time y'needed," Apple Bloom pushed out, swaying her body in a way which gave the words a little more momentum as she let them go. "Time t' speak with me. An' you didn't. Again. Same as her first visit, 'cause y'knew everythin', Applejack. Everythin'. And that ain't the part Ah'm mad 'bout. Ah'm jus' sick of you bein' the only one who knows. Sick of you not tellin' me anythin' real, because y'think Ah'm too little, or that Ah can't deal with whatever the truth is --" She was watching her big sister. The lashing tail, the backwards-leaning ears. Every last sign of a mare who had recognized a challenge and was getting ready to fight. That was what the vocalized words had already done, and Apple Bloom was fully aware that there were more to come. She could feel them pressing against her tongue, demanding release. She knew what her next words would be. Had to be. Things which, once said, could never be taken back. Breaking words. Ah can't talk t' her like this. Ah never -- But there was nothing else left. They were breaking words, and Apple Bloom knew it. But they also felt like something she should have said a long time ago. The youngest Malus took a deep breath, and felt the syllables shatter her world. "-- because that's what y'did the last time, what y'do every time. Y'don't talk. Not t' me, not unless Ah'm all that's left. That's the only reason you an' Ah talked it out after y'asked Snowflake on that first date, ain't it? Only one who didn't walk out on you, who didn't judge, an' Ah guess all your friends were jus' too far out for a fast trot. Y'don't talk t' me unless you've got no other choice. Not even when Ah'm involved, 'cause that's what havin' a cousin stayin' on the Acres, in mah bedroom does. It gets me involved. But y'didn't talk 'bout Babs. Either time. An' --" Her own tail didn't lash. The soft fall merely swayed. Disappointment did that. "-- Ah've gotta wonder what Honesty really means t' you, Applejack. If'fin it means anythin' at all. Anythin' real." The orange mare stopped breathing. The yellow filly, chilled from within and without, kept going. "Any words which come out -- you've gotta at least believe they're true, right? So if every word has t' be true every time, then the best way t' deal with that is by not sayin' anything at all? Ah don't think that's right. Ah feel like y'go quiet so much as t' turn silence into its very own lie." Her sister's current wordless state might have been forging a new lie. A steady, staring gaze drilling a new exception into the former truth which had once been known as 'family'. Finish it. It was a tired sort of thought. She'd never felt so weary, not even after the stable sale. And there were ways in which the situations were similar. A single instant when she finally looked at everything which had led up to it, forced the situation to exist, and realized that something had to change... "An'..." Apple Bloom quietly said, "Ah'm tired, Applejack. Maybe Ah'm on track for mah mark. Finally, right? Ah want t' believe that. There's still things t' learn before it comes, Ah think. But Ah think Ah've figured out one of the basics. That it's nearly impossible t' fix somethin' when nopony will tell you what's broken." Nothing. Not a word. The blonde tail flicked, as the tips of orange ears twitched. "Miss Ratchette taught me 'bout stress tests," the adolescent told the mare. "Runnin' things hard, until they have t' shut down. An' then you look at where it all went wrong. But that's not what y'ever want t' do first, because... you're lookin' at somethin' which broke once already. Twice might mean it can't be fixed. An' when nopony ever tells you what's wrong in the first place, when everythin' y'do might jus' mean more stress..." It was the sheer exhaustion which made her sigh. A sound which felt as if it had taken six moons to fully emerge. "It's like the bullyin'. If Ah'd known 'bout that from the start, if'fin you'd jus' told me... it all would have been different. 'cause Ah know what it feels like. Known for years." She didn't want to think about Diamond right now. "Ah could've talked t' Babs. All three of us could, as ponies who were goin' through the same things. If you'd told me from the start, before she got off the train -- everything would've changed. Maybe Ah could've helped. But y'didn't say nothin', did you? Jus' kept quiet. An' it was a couple of weeks of bein' chased an' getting pushed out of mah bed, out of our clubhouse, not even sleepin' right because you didn't talk --" Which was when her sister spoke, with head still down and half-closed eyes regarding nothing more than the kitchen floor. The voice was right. The intonations were not. Because Applejack had spent a significant amount of her youth away from Ponyville, and... it was the sort of thing which could change you. Alter the way you sounded, as a natural accent was worn away by foreign pressures. Any effort required for Applejack to speak 'normally' was minimal. Subconscious. It functioned without attention, requiring no more maintenance than was found in simply being on her own ground. But sometimes... "-- I wanted her to have a break. Just be in a place where she didn't have to think about any of it for a while. She would feel better if it all just stayed away from the Acres the whole time, from Ponyville..." "It don't work like that," Apple Bloom quietly said. "It never does. Ah'd know. You jus' wind up -- waitin'. Gotta go back sometime. T' school, or wherever they are. Y'can't ever run away when you're a kid. Not when adults keep sendin' you back. Y'didn't tell me, an' it all could have been so different if Ah'd known. She's mah cousin --" "-- mine too..." "It ain't the same," the adolescent insisted, and did so at the same moment in which she took a tiny step towards the motionless form. "You boss ponies around a lot. Ain't sure how that works with the Bearers, but Ah saw enough of it at the last reunion. If you decide you're in charge, then y'take over everythin'. An' that was with a bunch of adults in the mix. When they're younger... you act like you're the parent. An' Ah can't remember you bein' any other way." She sighed. "That scares me sometimes," the youngest Malus reluctantly admitted. "How little it feels like Ah remember, compared t' how much there must've been. But you ain't her mom, Applejack. An'..." There had already been breaking words. It didn't feel as if there was any more damage which could be done. "...y'ain't mine." She was wrong. Somethin' just fell. Dropped off her face, the way she's lookin' down. She's... ...she's cryin'. Ah jus' made mah sister cry... Half of the inner chill evaporated. The fast-rising pain needed the room. "Ah hear some of the talk 'round town, from the new ones," the youngest sibling whispered. "The ponies who moved here in the last few years, never knew 'em, don't know they were ever here at all. Some of 'em think you are mah mom. An' Ah know y'had t' act like it. Had t' try an' be her, when you couldn't. Had t' be in charge of whatever y'could, 'cause it felt like there wasn't nopony else. Y'did everythin'. Kept on doin' it, even when it was too much, right? An'... Ah don't hate you for it. Ah don't. 'cause there wasn't nopony else, nopony who would have been able t' keep all of us together. Y'had t' be a mom for a while. But you're not. You're mah big sister. A sister who doesn't tell me enough because -- Ah think all she sees is a foal who can't do anythin' on her own. Can't manage. Sometimes y'treat the whole world like that. An..." bleedin' she's cryin' and it feels like ah'm bleedin' inside every word jus' hurts an' ah can't let 'em stop or they might never come again Stress test. Gallop forward until everything broke. "...Ah know how much Ah screwed up." One more step forward, even smaller than the last. "Maybe y'don't know how much Ah'm afraid that Ah still might have it wrong. Ah know why y'don't always trust me. But Ah'm growin' up. Tryin' t' grow up. An' it's a lot harder when the ponies Ah love the most won't treat me like anythin' except a foal. Applejack -- you don't talk t' me. Not about the real stuff. Not about Babs, first time or this one. An' --" the pain spiked, sent shards of ice through her heart "-- maybe Ah said the wrong things t' her, 'cause Ah didn't know what the right ones were supposed t' be. Ah..." It was almost funny. If she was still any part of the family, she would have potentially been punished for the next part. For admitting to eavesdropping. As it was, the admission almost felt harmless -- but mostly in comparison to what had come before. "...couldn't sleep the other night. It's from all the times Ah couldn't sleep with a bully in the room. It don't go away that easy. So Ah heard you talkin' t' Mac 'bout the letter. Y'showed him what was in it. But not me. Never me. So all Ah knew was that somethin' was wrong, but -- not what. Ah still don't know." Silence, but for the soft impacts of falling tears. She tried to take one more step toward her big sister, and found her legs wouldn't work. "Applejack -- if y'ever trusted me with anythin' before the Crusade, if y'ever thought Ah could grow up t' do somethin' right -- please..." "Her parents are getting a divorce." It was like listening to a foreign language. One where the youngest Malus knew just enough to spot a single word. A definition which was barely understood -- and yet, every translation led directly to pain. The orange head had lifted, just a little. Enough to meet Apple Bloom's shocked stare on a near-level plane, as the elevated tears began to soak into soft fur. "They push," Applejack said, and every too-steady, even word struck with the force of a hoof-hammer. "They don't try to solve any of their problems. They just push everything away and figure it'll all resolve itself. And that finally led to what they must have decided was the natural conclusion. They pushed each other. They've barely been in the same apartment most of the time. Babs's father has been in and out. When they do get together, they fight. And her parents didn't want Babs to be in Manehattan during Homecoming because they didn't think all of them could be at the same table without the biggest fight breaking out again." "The --" was all Apple Bloom could manage. The fur tracks were becoming saturated. "The one about who Babs is going to live with." And then the youngest Malus found herself unable to speak at all. "They've been fighting over that for moons," Applejack bitterly declared. "There really wasn't all that much in the letter. But I got the impression that it probably started after Babs got back from the reunion. They can't agree on where she'll live, how often the other gets to visit, and it's just about at the point where they want a judge to nudge over a decision because that way, they pushed off the responsibility for that too. And they asked me not to bring up the divorce. Because not thinking about it for a while might make her feel better --" "They wrote you to say I was coming, and asked ya to write back if I couldn't! I know they did! It was just about the only thing they did t --" "Bianca pays attention. Sometimes, she's..." "Tell ya what, Appy: if you ever build something that'll tuck a bed, I can point you straight at your first buyer. Doesn't even have to open the door and come in to do it. Just sits in the room and waits, because opening that door just ain't worth --" "My house isn't always good." Her parents push everything away. An' Babs learned from them, didn't she? So Babs pushes. She pushes her own hurt into somepony else. "-- it didn't," Apple Bloom quietly cut in. "'cause you don't stop thinkin'. Maybe you can get distracted for a little while, but the thoughts are still there. Waitin' for their chance t' come back. Applejack, it's like bein' a doctor an' treatin' a patient who won't even tell you they're sick." "Worse," the older sibling darkly voiced. "Because you can't treat them. All you see are symptoms getting kicked out, little things which don't connect because you don't have the most basic information. The part which says something is wrong. And if you don't know that, the symptoms just get lost..." She stopped. Green eyes closed, and two tears were squeezed away. "I should have told you about the bullying," Applejack said. "I..." One deep gulp of air, and then the rest of it was jarred loose. "...screwed up." The youngest Malus blinked. "Y'jus' -- you're tellin' me you know it wasn't right --" The right foreleg was now slightly raised: wait. "And I should have told you about the divorce. Because then you could have kept an eye on Babs. You would have known something was wrong, and if there were any symptoms, warning signs... you could have told me. Before it all went wrong, before she ran away and took the Homecoming leftovers with her so she'd have food for a few days." Probably more like a week, the way this family cooks, went through Apple Bloom's mind without sufficient cause. "Honesty," the older sister softly stated as her eyes slowly opened again, "is the hardest Element to bear. That's my opinion, I know, but... it's an honest one, at least. But I think you might agree with me. Maybe you even understand now, since you've been through it." "Ah..." was as far as her sibling let the youngest get. The larger body moved. And then her face was being nuzzled by a damp snout. "Sayin' all of that," Applejack whispered, "must've been one of the hardest things you've ever done. Ah ain't mad, AB. Not at you. Jus' at mahself. An' that part is gonna take a while t' work out. But Ah ain't mad at you, an' Ah ain't gonna be mad. Promise. An' that's mah word. The word of Honesty..." The nuzzle pressed in, warm and damp and almost desperate. "...if you're willin' t' still let that mean somethin'..."" And then Apple Bloom was crying. The mutual nuzzle went on for a little while. The nuzzle meant for family, as mutual tears flowed into welcoming fur. But a little while was all they had. "But now," Applejack told her, stepping back just enough to meet her sister's eyes, "we've gotta find Babs. Get some idea where she's gone, an' try t' catch up. She could have a powerful head start." Apple Bloom nodded. "Ah'm gonna go wake Mac up, like you said." Since everything which had happened in the kitchen hadn't done it. "But then Ah'll fetch Scootaloo. They've both gotta be in on this." "Granny?" her sister asked. "For the startin' gate," Apple Bloom considered as she moved past the older mare, heading for the ramp. "Don't want her runnin' too much. But she might come up with somethin'. An' right now, Ah think we need all the ponies we can get." Ah should've known you hadn't fetched Babs. That quilt was off the bed for at least an hour. Maybe a lot more. An' if you'd come in t' get her, you would've tucked me back in.