//------------------------------// // Getting Answers Absolutely Sucks! // Story: This Sucks: A Story About The First Human In Equestria // by Justa Dooda //------------------------------// The crew of two entered Ponyville. Looking at a nearby clock, somehow with you and Fluttershy stopping and talking about last night's events, you two are ahead of schedule. Fantastic. Fulttershy said hello to a flying pegasus and they responded back… In a language you don't understand. That sucks. "Well, shit Fluttershy it looks like I can just understand you." "Oh no, so the spell didn't last?" You could hear the concern in your friend's voice. She waved at a gray pegasus with crossed eyes. You sigh, "Welp I guess the universe has the upper hand now." "What…what do you mean by that?" You looked down as you walked, "Well it's a human thing, an expression ya know?" you started to explain. "A lot of people look up to something that's bigger themselves to get answers or to blame when things go wrong. A leader, a higher being. That kinda stuff." You point to the sky. "The universe, an indifferent creature that makes everything and everyone, and shit happens. Tha—" Your stomach interrupts your monologue and Fluttershy gives a giggle. "I think the universe is telling you that it's time to get your tummy." You chuckle, "Yeah I guess that's what they are trying to tell me." After an interesting lunch of just a BLT, but without the 'B', Fluttershy took you to 'Twilight Sparkle's School of Friendship.' You gazed in awe of the school now that you were in broad daylight. Well it was indeed an extraordinary architecture, very biased toward Twilight. It looked like an old castle. But it didn't say 'I'm better than you' castle more come together and celebrate. You gave a little chuckle that somehow this over the top school bleeds 'Twilight Sparkle,' all over the place. Over the top yet function. Regal but practical. Fluttershy arrived at the threshold of her classroom. "Starlight is down the hall, take a left, then a right and her office should have her Cutie Mark on it." She said and opened the door to her classroom. "Fluttershy, I—" you paused, reaching a hand to your pegasus friend. "—Twilight had something of mine, I think you should have a look with me, I promise you will like it." "Oh the artifact! Twilight mentioned when you were…injured." She paused herself. "I'm sorry Windle, I got to teach my class. I'll see you after class?" You nodded. She entered the class, "Hello class it's so wonde—" The door closed behind her and all that was left was her muffled voice. 'She said she believed me but she's being skittish and being off around me. That's not good. But Starlight is a counselor, maybe she can lend a hand…hoof? Fuck metaphorical appendage!' A heavy sigh left your lips. Well right now there is not much you can do about it. You walked down the hallway to find your spell crafting pony. Here it comes, just try not to— “Blegh!” “Oh don’t be a little filly, it's not that bad now is it?” Starlight smirked as she finished with her spell on you. You tried to respond with something witty but dammit whatever magic is made out of it like ethereal dust mixed with something else bland all up in your sinuses. Hay fever has got nothing on this! “W-well cough It is! It's terrible, do we have to do this every time from now on?” God my eyes are so watery! Starlight levitated a box of tissues to you, “Well Twilight did say she was working on something for you. She didn't tell me much, which is odd since she usually tells me what she's been working on when it comes to magic. But she did say she will need my help once the plans are finished.” She gasps as she just remembered something. You cleared your eyes, “What…what now?” You asked. She didn't respond. The student counselor hopped off of her seat and trotted over to a different part of the room. There she opened a closet that filled to the brim of cabinets and other office materials. She walked in using her magic to move things around, “I was exploring the Everfree with the help of Steve the minotaur, and I found this.” She walked out with a curious look in her eye. In her magical grasp she was holding something important to her, and to you. It was a case of some kind, long and black that had three latches that held it together and a handle designed for human hands. Holy shit, they found it, I thought it was lost forever! “Twilight and I looked inside thinking it was related to the artifact she found a while ago. But I don’t think a ‘phone’ and a large musical instrument are the same thing?” She magically handed the case to you. Your heart started to fill with joy. Your instrument, the thing that brought so much joy, passion, a drive in your life that stuck with you ever since you were a kid, from the dark times to the food times of your life you had your instrument to prop you up. And it's here, right in front of you! It's unbelievable! You thought it would surely have been destroyed or magiced away by this land. But Lady Fate gave a bone this time again… "I…yeah this is mine, I…hold on I gotta check," you quivered out. You place the case down and flip open the case to check its contents. Of course that is what this is, why did I forget about this? Your instrument of choice: A saxophone. A perfectly kept, perfectly preserved, cold nickel blue and silver body alto saxophone that had a sheen to it in the window. You pick up the body, it feels cold to the touch, a cold that was welcoming to you after so long. You check the rest of your case. The crook and the mouthpiece were not damaged. You can't believe it. This is perfect. Nothing could be better right now. You had found your very own artifact. This beautiful instrument has kept you safe and sane for so long and now you have it back! Oh joy of it all! Starlight interrupts your euphoric state, "Also, I don't know much about musical instruments, so I asked Octavia if that was normal, she said no but I wanted to ask you," her voice a bit apprehensive as she gestured to your mouth piece. "Huh?" You blink at her. Gazing upon your mouthpiece, you grabbed and inspected it for any abnormalities. Everything looked normal. The leather ligature was undamaged. The screw was still taught holding on your reed in place. You cursed yourself, you didn't cover your reed, huge chance now it's unplayable now. But then you noticed it. You usually play with synthetic reeds. Not your first choice but you just needed to save cash. But when you look at your reed, you defiantly see it now. Instead of being clear, it was cloudy and glistening. The texture wasn't of plastic, but of a light sky blue crystal. Just like what you observed with Twilight's castle. You paused for a moment. That is strange. Your gaze darts back as you spot Starlight getting close to you, a little too close for comfort. Her eyes locked in this crystal reed. Seriously, do ponies not understand personal space? "I, Uhhh no…no this isn't normal," you say awkwardly. "So it's magical! Oh Windle I need to take a look at that I have a great feeling about this—" "—Fuck that," you defensively pull back your instrument. You just got back a piece of your soul and now she's gonna take it away? No way in hell that's gonna happen! The mare paused, "Is that a human thing? Because if it is, I don't know what that means." Starlight said in a slightly annoyed tone. God dammit you are doing it again. She doesn't know what that means and now you are being a dick again. Let's try that again Windle. "It means a hard no, Starlight," you apologized. She opened her muzzle to say more but hoof rapping against the large archway door interrupted her. "Oh shoot it's still counselor hours, I'm sorry Windle but maybe we can talk more after school," you nod. "Great, maybe we can chat after you show Twilight more about that phone?" "I'll be there… Thank you, thank you!!" Placing your sax down you gave Starlight the warmest hug you can give. So many emotions flooding through your body. Without thinking you planted a kiss on the mare's cheek. You grab your gear and you wave a hastily goodbye. You almost completely bulldozer an earth pony mare that was waiting. "Sorry!" You shout over your shoulder as you run out of the school like a bat out of hell. You need to test your saxophone right now! So the best place to do that is the local park that you remember when you first came to Ponyville. That's a good spot to jam out! With no time wasted, you found the park you remembered. Nice to know that ponies and humans have the same idea of what a park should be. A couple benches here and there, nice trees, a playground for children and places to walk your dog. Perfect. You get a couple oddball looks from the ponies that were enjoying their day in the park. It didn't bother you as you found a spot to set up. Well it kind of did, but not. Regardless, you set yourself up! What comes out of your horn is not what you expect. Yes you hear a slightly weak dark tone that you developed. But now there is a new color in your sound, it is more shimmery, almost ethereal quality to it. You make minor adjustments and you continue to play. Well that sucks, somehow from Earth to Equestria your chops got weaker but that can get that back, but this new tone, well you have to get used to it. Also the horn that start to glow a hue of blue that compliment the nickel, well tha was a new thing too so that's— Glowing? You stop and look at your prized instrument. Yep it's glowing, it receding now but it's glowing! Great, now my saxophone is magically altered. One step forward, two steps back… You play some more. And you kept playing. It was difficult to get your arm to work with you since your encounter with a deadly manticore. Suddenly, you really start to play. Putting all of your passions, your emotions into your craft. It was bright but dark, energetic at certain phrases but pulling back and being sorrowful. A small crowd has gathered around to listen. Not too many, just a handful of mares. It was weird seeing the fact Twilight spoke about was right, there is about a five to one ratio between mares to stallions. But one mare stood out from the rest. An earth pony with a collared bow, a gray coat and silky dark gray mane that looked professional done. On her back she was carrying a case in the shape of a stringed instrument that you don't remember. She looked different compared to the rest of the other mares here. Yes she had the same shape as any other mare. Maybe it's those mulberry eyes that were looking your way. You could feel those eyes telling you something different. Was it curiosity? No, the other mares have that look but not hers. Definitely not worry and danger. Then it clicks in your head. It's a look when you find something incredibly interesting and want to know more about it. And those eyes are on you. You look away as it reminds you of someone special to you, loneliness fills your heart to the brim as you will probably never gonna get the chance again to be with her. You stop playing after what felt like hours. Your chops are not in shape to do any concerts anytime soon. Well maybe you can do that on the side for some bits. Maybe that will help out with your problem with Fluttershy. Wait a minute. You mentally kick yourself for not asking about Fluttershy to Starlight! Well maybe after you showed Twilight your phone you did promise to talk to Starlight. You put away your equipment away after using a cloth that was also preserved in the case to clean your instrument. A voice comes from behind you. A voice that was dipped with properness and sophistication that was in a higher class than yourself. "Excuse me," you turned around to spot the grey mare looking up to you, "You must be Windle, The Giant of Myth?" "Giant?" You were taken aback. First monster, now this? You shake your head. You are in a different culture now to get used to it. "Yeah that's me." "I'm Octavia Melody, and I just wanted to tell you, your playing was magnificent! Far better than any other saxophone player in the Royal Canterlot Concert Band." She gave a small bow to you. Wow, that a first, a pony that isn't the Elements of Harmony is talking to you. Hell complicating you. "Oh well thank you miss Melody I… I haven't played in some time and now I have this," you gesture to the soft glow of your instrument. Octavia gave a puzzled look before humming. "Ah. I take it that magically glowing Woodwinds are not common practice to have from Earth?" "No, no glowing instruments, unless you paint it that just ruins the finish," you give the mare a smirk then you return to disassembling your pride and joy. Then it clicked with you. "Wait, Royal Canterlot Concert Band? Do you have a seat in that band?" Octavia titters, "No no, I can't stand the majority of Canterlot nobility, though if I am needed, I will play." You get to her feet and turn back. "So you are a cellist for hire?" "Observant aren't we? Sometimes for a spoiled foal's birthday, or in the quartet of my professional friends at big events like the Grand Galloping Gala." Huh, it sounds like she has her musical career all out together unlike yourself. Sure you went to school to be a tradesman but music was your main drive, you got a gig or two which isn't bad, but compared to Octavia? She's a professional. That you can tell. Usually professionals are dicks, and she has that kind of air about her, but there something more beneath that gray coat of hers. She clearly thinks you're interesting, and now you are finding her interesting. "I have heard of this Gala briefly, is that a big deal I assume?" You grabbed your case and subconsciously gestured for Octavia to follow. To your surprise she takes the invitation to walk with you, what with the social dynamics between human and pony were as you can tell with short time here that there were very different norms. The two of you walked back to Ponyville, talking about music, music theory and other musical topics. You don't know when but somehow the conversation naturally progressed into other topics that you didn't expect. Things like favorite foods, funny stories about housemates, how Pinkie Pie is probably the strangest pony in all of Equestria. Much to your surprise, you enjoyed the company of the cellists. You didn't have a lot of friends to talk about your passions. On top of that just with getting to know her l, she seems very down to earth, no pun intended, the whole air of higher status just comes with the territory of being a professional in her craft in Canterlot higher society. You made your way into town looking at the time. Three fifty-five. How the hell did you play for that long?! You turn to Octavia, "Sorry I promised I show Twilight about how my…uhh this artifact from my home worked, but thank you for walking back with me I'm not from around here and I recently got shoehorned in with Twilight and her friends," You scratch the back of your head. This is getting awkward. "I mean, umm, would you like to hang out again? You seemed like a cool person, aww pony." You were fumbling over your words, what are you doing? This isn't you. "I suppose many creatures would find me 'cool' as Vinyl Scratch would say." she mused, "Well I think I would like that. I would love to hear more stories about Earth's musical tastes over some tea, say tomorrow evening?" You smiled and nodded at her. "Excellent Windle, see you soon." She bid you farewell and walked away. Well that just happened. You didn't expect that but at least you made a new friend. A very interesting friend that agrees with you about one certain pink beast of a pony. You smiled to yourself already looking forward to tomorrow. Today wasn't too bad at all. You walked towards Twilight's castle only to stop for a moment, you saw a critter you haven't seen before in quite some time. A lone honey bee gathering pollen for its hive. It was big and plump. Its entire body is fuzzy and covered in the necessary nutrients to make honey. That sadness creeped in again. But you give a small chuckle. Melody would say this would be the cutest thing in the entire world if she was here. You grab your chest feeling the deep scar tissue. shaking your head, you press forward to Twilight's abode. Well who would've thought that a tree castle made out of crystal would also have crystal on the inside? You were taking in the marvel of Twilight's home in-between hungerly wolfing down some spaghetti that Twilight's assistant whipped up for you. Well that happens when you are swpt in the moment that you forget that you need basic food in your belly from time to time. You would think seeing an actual dragon would be terrifying, but a baby dragon? What was his name? Spike? Yeah you got nothing to worry about. You were in the throne room, or you think it's a throne room. Just a massive dome room with a round crystalline table. You were seated in a small throne that had your friend Fluttershy’s Cutie Mark marking that it was her seat. It really put in perspective how important Twilight and her friends were to this land, as well as how important friendship was to this society. However this thought sprung another oddball thought as you finished your plate. Was this a cult of some kind? This feels like a cult. The purple princess wandered back to the throne, carrying with her stacks of books, quills and parchment in her magic along with a saddlebag filled with other writing and reading materials. Oh boy, you're going to be here for a while. You can feel it in your bipedal bones. “Alright Windle, I am ready to—” She paused to look at you as you finished your meal. “—Oh, no that's not good.” Her eyes knitted together at you. Her ears folded down. “What? What is not good?” You looked around yourself, trying to find what was concerning your princess friend. Twilight chuckled, her ears pointing up to their natural position, “You are lucky Rarity isn’t here.” Rarity? You look down and see what Twilight was saying. You made a mess of your one and only pieces of clothing covered in tomato sauces. You heard a low ethereal whistling as the stains were outlined with a purple haze. Like a snicker off of a hard surface, Twilight peeled off the blemish off of your toga. With a pop that airborne stains folded on itself and now its gone. The more you see magic like this used, the more you feel extremely inadequate and inferior. The main chamber door opens with a loud creek. Your eyes were created with all of your friends you made during a friendship emergency. That was a relief that Fluttershy and Starlight came by today. Though there was one figure that you were not so keen on seeing. Following behind the colorful trope of ponies was a lanky minotaur with a pair of small spectacles on his bull muzzle. You frowned at his approach. He on the other hand remained stoic and unphased by your existence. “There! Now we can begin!” She chirped as she laid down many books and parchment. With her magic she retrieved your phone from her saddlebag. The rest of your friends gathered around the round table. She hovered over to you and placed it into her hand. “Come on Windle Bindle! Show us how this toy is used!” Pinkie shouted with excitement! “I don’t know what this artifact is, but I am curious what I would like about this.” Fluttershy parked herself next to you. “Yeah yeah, a glassy brick that makes noise is sooooo impressive,” Rainbow Dash cut in with her sarcasm. “Rainbow, it is impressive, it's from another world! Think of the possibilities.” Starlight stood next to Twilight raising a hoof at the cyan pegasus. “Well I for one am interested in this artifact, or what Windle called it a ‘fone.’” Rarity took her seat and watched you expectantly. ‘Steve’ took a position behind Twilight, only snorting in annoyances and crossed his arms just watched the gathering take places “Huh, well lookie here, Windle yer still standing after ah nigh’ of drinkin’, respectable sugarcube.” Applejack gave a small honorable bow in your way when she took a seat. You clear your throat as you look down at your phone. It wasn't the best model you got, but it was pretty advanced. GPS, high resolution cameras that would make you blush at your own blemishes. Heart Rate tracker on the back where your palm rests on the glossy back. A mini projector built in to produce 3D images on flat surfaces. The standard low end phone. You click the button on the right side and the large screen beams to life. Your chest clenches as you are greeted with a sweet picture of you and Melody in a self picture with a beautiful river flowing behind you in the middle of winter. But the strangest thing about this is your eyes see the symbol next to the battery gauge saying that not only is it fully changed, but it is still changing with no cord putting electricity into it. “W-well this ahh, so this is a thing called a phone. It…it’s uhh..” You feel concerned eyes fall upon you. You take a moment to recompose yourself. “A phone is an interesting device. It huh, hold on…” You stand up and you press the screen as it asks for a passcode. Shockingly you remember what it was as you were created with a screen with another picture of a slightly younger you in a nice portrait with you holding your prized instrument. “There we go, so anyways this is a phone. If I was back…home I could press the glass and I could make this connected to another person and I can talk to them, no matter how far they are as long as it is connected to a tower.” “A tower?” Twilight asks as she furiously takes notes. “It's a structure…imagine it's a giant unicorn horn that sends magical waves to connect any phones in range, and you know, you can talk to people. Or look up almost any knowledge.” You try to give an example not knowing it was a good one. But a nod confirmed. However Twilight stopped when you said the magic word. “Look up knowledge?” She asks with a beam in her eye. “Well, yeah it's connected to the internet, it's like all the libraries with every book made with professionals or just your average guy at your fingertips all the time whenever you want.” You looked at your phone screen, disappointed that you have no service in this land. Makes sense. “Whay would anypony want to have all tha’ information just bombarded ya all the dang time?” Applejack asked, tilting her head at the concept. “Well I don’t know, humanity thought it was a good idea, it's a double edge sword I guess.” You shrugged as you went to turn on your camera. “But the thing I wanted to show you is that this device is like a camera, smile!” You turn around and you give a group shot of everyone and yourself. Click The ponies look at each other confused. But you swipe and the picture manifests on the table. All the ponies gasp as they see a perfect recreation still imagined on the table. “That…is awesome!” Rainbow Dash grins wickedly. “I have never imagined anything like this could exist!” Twilight beamed. Starlight nodded with her, her eyes transfixed on the perfect image. “What a strange and wonderful world you must have come from Windle, if this is what is normal, I can’t imagine the wonders!” Rarity swooned. “Does your world have cute little critters?” Fluttershy asks softly. “Yeah, let me see, I think I have some,” You stop the projection as you look into the phone's photo gallery. Your phone told you that you had a couple new photos. You take a look at it was just really up close shots of Twilight muzzle. Another one a dark inside of a saddlebag, and lastly a very up close and a partial side view of spikes face. That gave you a chuckle, of course Twilight would experiment with this device without knowing the nuances of this human device. You scroll through and find an up close and beautiful shot of one of your favorite critters. You show the picture though the three dimensional projection on the table. Fluttershy immediately knew what this critter was. “Awww look at the cute little ferret, he looks so happy and content. Very fuzzy little guy,” Fluttershy uses her hoof to reach out to touch the image expecting to feel it. Sadly the yellow pegasus quickly realized she could not touch the three dimensional critter. “Huh, they look very similar to Equestrain ferrets.” Starlight pondered as she tapped her chin. “You're right Starlight, they do look very similar.” Twilight took more notes about this. The rest of the ponies looked at each other with this new information. You feel kind of special. Sure you don’t have magic but you have tech and human ingenuity. So you got that going for you. Then a memory hits you. “Wait, Twilight, I just remembered something. I...this can take video…it’s huh, taking a massive tone on still imagines and make a visual–” “Like this?” Twilight sparked her horn up and she made a visual, almost low tech computer graphical image of Windle. The low poly version of yourself waves at you in a robotic fashion before vanishing. “Y-yeah like that, but it doesn't need magic to do it. Here let me show you.” You navigate until you find where your videos were stored, there is one that you knew was saved on your phone. You were a bit apprehensive, but you get the feeling maybe just maybe Twilight or someone could help you. But you came this far, and you have some answers. You find the video and you press play. You projected the video on the flat surface. The video abruptly starts with a cut off of a voice you knew. Melody’s voice. It sounded like a name, maybe your name warning you to be careful. But it was cut off at the end. The camera focuses and you and your friends see that you were pointing down an alleyway with low hanging fluorescent lights late in the night. You recognize this alleyway close to the bar close to where you do your gigs. What was strange, was that your past self was focused on a small circular bead of amber fire smoldering on itself fixed in space. Like a mini black hole swirling stardust within itself. “What the hell is that, some kind of swamp gas?” Video you say to Melody. “Why would that be here in the middle of the city?” Melody asks behind the point of view of the video. The camera quickly turns to Melody. Her eyes had a mixture of confusion and fear. Then there was a sound of cracking, tearing. The camera swings back to see this small bead start to expand and swell up. The inside looked like a tunnel of infinite tunnel of void, the outer edge starting to catch fire burning hotter. “–am th– bad idea, w– sh–ld go!” The voice of Melody is heavily distorted. Then you see it, in the infinite tunnel the camera picks up a humanoid form, slowly waving its arms with the same amber fire trickling from its fingertips. What chills you to the bone is its attire you recognize. It's hard to tell but it looked like some kind of cloak obscuring its figure, but it's the same as the humanoid that had visited you last night! “Y–h It’s ti– to g–” You hear your own voice call out in a panic. The camera turns around and makes a hasty exit, only to be bumped into someone you recognize as well. The human that was an ‘illusion’ in the forest before you got the gift of speaking! He drunkenly pushes you, not noticing the hole in reality. You argue with the drunkard and before you know it there all of the sound from the video becomes heavily distorted. The only thing that could be clearly heard was cut out screams of terror. The video becomes corrupted making it hard to see what was happening, but the images of the portal cut in and out getting larger and larger until you see clearly just for a moment, you Melody, and this stranger get pulled into this tear in reality. The video cuts off than and there. The room fell silent. After what felt like an eternity Twilight spoke. “That…That is supposed to be a portal spell, but that is the most unstable portal I have ever seen. The only pony I knew that can make such portal is—” “—Starswirl the Bearded,” Both Twilight and Starlight say in unison. Other ponies that chime in about what this could mean, how the video means, who made this unstable portal. But it all falls on your deaf ears. You where slump over in your seat, just looking at the still grainy image of that video you took with Melody. This, this is how you got here. Some asshole, the same prick that was stalking you somehow used magic to bring you and… Oh no. A terrible realization hits you harder than you have ever felt before. Not only this human brought you here somehow, but from the evidence you just have, he brought in an innocent man. And, He also brought the love of your life here as well. Somewhere, she has to be here! Somewhere she was by herself in this strange equine world. You sigh. Why does getting the answers you want fucking sucks!