I awoke in an unfamiliar room with an unfamiliar crystal pony stallion poking me with a stick.
"Ah, you're awake! Good!" the stallion said happily.
"My head feels funny," I mumbled.
"That would be the bandages and the pain meds," the stallion said.
My vision was a little blurry as I looked around the room, but it steadily improved over a few seconds. It was a plain-looking room made out of blue crystal. There was a wall behind the stallion with a bunch of medical supplies stacked on a shelf. There were two wooden doors, one that looked like a closet and one that led somewhere else. I was in a bed with an IV drip attached to my right foreleg and a blanket pulled over my rump.
"Am I in a hospital?" I asked.
The stallion put a hoof on my side and seemed to be checking something. "The medical wing of the decontamination center. You hit your head very hard and gave yourself a concussion."
"Decontamination center?" I asked in confusion.
He pulled his hoof away, picked up a quill in his mouth, and made some notes on a parchment. He then set the quill down. "Yes, you and your friends were exposed to dark magic and an area with unknown bacteria. Portal regulation requires that you spend a week monitored in isolation before crossing through it. We are in the village of Shivery Stones. It is technically part of the Crystal Empire, but it is about half a day's walk from the city or about a thirty-minute flight. Not much here, just a minor mining operation, guard post, about a dozen civilian homes, this center, and a lot of snow."
I blinked. That was a problem. "I have to spend a week here?! I'm going to miss classes back at school!"
"You have actually already spent five days here. You've been going in and out of consciousness. You were pretty doped up, so you might not recall that. We will give you a doctor's note and paperwork from the decontamination team," the stallion explained.
Well, I guess I had to live with that. I was going to be so far behind. I didn't look forward to the catch-up work.
"Was anybody else hurt?" I asked.
He nodded. "The changeling queen Bursa suffered severe injuries but should fully recover in time. We called in a pair of specialists to take care of her. Wild Growth had some injuries that seemed severe, but she has somehow already recovered. She is quite remarkable. Other than that, a few of your friends had minor cuts and scrapes but nothing to be concerned over. Miss Wilco is suffering from magic exhaustion and emotional trauma. Somepony will write a referral for her to see a specialist for ongoing care once you return to Earth. She had the highest exposure to dark magic as well and is being closely monitored for any lingering effects."
Oh, that meant we saved Roger's mom. Roger must be relieved. Emotional trauma didn't sound good, but it was better than being a shadow monster out to kill the world. I hoped that she would be alright.
My parents were going to be worried sick about me, Maggie too, and Nightscape, and Julie, and Meadow, and Ashley, and Russell. Oh, no, Russel! I was going to be here for an extra…I didn't know how many more days than I was supposed to be– math was hard with a fuzzy head. He was going to have some human girl start flirting with him and steal him away, or maybe Meadow would. I knew Meadow had eyes on everyone that was male and had a pulse. I could see her trying to seduce him in my absence
I might be feeling paranoid. Still, I didn't like the delay in going home, and I was in the hospital, and that made me want some comforting cuddles. I wasn't too picky about who cuddled me right now. Russell would be great, or my parents, even one of Julie's crushing hugs. Maybe Sunflower would hug me if I asked nicely. I had an adventure in which I suffered grievous injuries. I needed cuddles.
"Am I going to have a scar?" I asked, thinking about the bandages on my head.
"Uh, well, we did have to do some stitches, and there will be a permanent mark there, but your fur should completely hide it," the doctor pony said.
"Oh, no! I'm scarred for life! Will you give me a hug?" I asked, giving him my best puppy dog eyes.
He gave me an apprehensive look. "I don't think that is appropriate for a doctor to do with his patient. Perhaps I should tell your friends you're wide awake so they can visit you."
Oh, yeah, I would prefer that. I could get a hug from one of my friends, and I could see how they were doing. If we were going to be stuck here for a few days, at least we were stuck here together.
He went to the door. "I'll let them know you're awake. Stay in bed."
I didn't have much of a choice. I had an IV attached to me, and it was taped on well. I'd end up pulling it over if I tried getting out of bed, and I might rip it out of my flesh and make a bloody mess if I did that. I didn't want to be a bloody mess, and that might hurt, so in bed I was going to stay. At least it was a comfy bed. Hospital beds back home weren't comfy. I think they went out of their way to not be comfortable back home, like there was some particular brand of hospital bed engineers that product-tested hospital beds to ensure that patients wouldn't be in pain in bed but would feel just enough discomfort that they would be practically begging to get out of bed as soon as they could. I wondered if Equestria had a problem with patients not wanting to leave hospitals as quickly as possible.
It didn't take long for the door to open and for Sunflower to come hurrying in with her wings spread wide. "Rebecca! You're alright!"
"No wall has killed me yet!" I said with a smile and winced because smiling hurt.
Blanche and Jonathan came in a moment after Sunflower. Both stopped and crossed their arms as soon as they entered the door.
"That was the biggest buffoon move I have ever seen in a combat situation," Blanche said dryly. "I can't believe you would do something that moronic. You could have been killed."
My ears flattened. "I was just trying to help. I was sure that the Pony of Shadows would ignore me, and I could take out that crystal. Um, did I take it out?"
Blanche shook her head. "No, you didn't. You didn't so much as put a crack in it."
Jonathan raised a finger. "But you might have inadvertently won us the day with your antics."
It hurt, but my smile returned. "Oh, good! Uh…how'd I do that?"
"Roger's mother was so dumbfounded and shocked by your stupidity that she didn't notice Wild Growth got back up," Blanche answered. "While Miss Wilco was laughing her demonic flank off at your idiocy, Wild Growth barreled through the wall, taking out both remaining crystals and picking you up along the way before the wall could collapse on you. With the crystals down, the bearers were able to purge Miss Willco of her possession and destroy it."
"I guess I'm the most distracting thing around," I giggled.
My giggle was cut short when there was a flash of light, and two yellow eyes were suddenly staring me in the eyes.
"That's my title!"
I looked back at the eyes and blinked. "I thought your title was Lord of Chaos."
"You!" Blanche shouted.
The eyes pulled back, and I could now see the rest of Discord. Jonathan had his back pressed against the wall, and seemed like he was considering making a break for the door. However, Blanche was snarling and had made a sword with her magic that she was brandishing at the chaos god. Sunflower had stepped back and was looking back and forth between Discord and Blanche. Discord looked bored.
Discord put a paw on the sword tip and pushed it down. "Oh, hello…you. What was your name again? Something about boiling water, right?"
"It's Blanche!" Blanche screamed. "You fucked up my life on a whim and almost got me and Jonathan killed, and you can't even remember our names?"
A dictionary appeared floating in front of Discord. He put on a pair of reading glasses and opened it. "Blanch, verb, to take the color out of. Blanched, to scald or parboil in water-"
"I parboil you in water, you monster!" Blanche yelled as she raised her sword.
"Blanche, violence is never the answer," I warned my friend.
She glared at me. "Sometimes, it is the only answer. You wouldn't understand, meatball. You didn't go through what we did."
Discord snapped his fingers, and Blanche's sword turned into a long wet noodle that promptly slumped in her hands. "You should be thanking me, human. All of you should. I saved the world twice. Well, two worlds anyway. Every creature is always so ungrateful for everything I do for them. You're welcome."
"Two worlds?" Jonathan asked.
Discord turned and gave him a big grin. "Of course! Do you really think you would have even known you could disable those old crystals if you had never journeyed to that other world? Would you have had the skill to pull off those acrobatics that kept you from getting skewered? I'd say I put you in a position to succeed, yet I don't even get a thank you!"
He turned to look at Blanche again. "You were instrumental in saving that other world. Think of all the creatures who have better lives because I thought you were too much of a boring bookish nerd who wasn't living up to your ass-kicking potential. I put you in a situation where you could learn to be all you can be, and I didn't even enlist you in the army."
Blanche pointed at me. "You didn't do the same to her, or Sunflower, or Roger."
"Well, that's just petty that you'd say that," Discord said with annoyance. "You know, as well as I do, those three would have died. That cream puff is mildly amusing, but watching her get roasted and dealing with her crying friends and family is no fun for anyone. She'd be the first to die, and the other two wouldn't do much better. I hate death. Death is never funny. Well…rarely ever funny…there's the occasional ironic death that everyone has to laugh at, but you just can't properly plan those things."
"I'd be the first?" I whimpered.
Jonathan adjusted his glasses. "That is an assessment I can agree with. My apologies, but you just aren't that kind of survivor."
"Yes, but you two are!" Discord exclaimed. "I knew you would overcome your situation and become stronger and more confident due to the experience. You four-dimensional creatures just need a little push every once and a while. You really should be more grateful."
"Maybe we were happy just being book nerds and organizers! Did you ever think of that?" Blanche demanded seethingly.
"But you still are, but so much more now," Discord said defensively. "And can you really say you aren't happy that you saved all those people in that other world?"
"You could have done that with a snap of your fingers!" Blanche said, pointing a finger at his lion paw.
Discord crossed his arms and lifted his snout high in the air. "I don't do that. It would mess with my reputation. I mean, I'll rescue Fluttershy if she's in trouble, but I can't have creatures thinking I'm going to save the day. I would never get a moment's peace. Plus, that is so orderly and boring. It is much more interesting to shove someone else out there to take care of things. There's always some world that needs saving. It is the nature of things that they break down and collapse. It's a wonder any of you make it past the stone age. Every once and a while, I notice creatures that are just the right fit to save a place, and I say, why not? Let's pull out some popcorn and see what happens."
"Seriously? That's horrible!" Sunflower exclaimed.
He turned and smirked at her. "Maybe you all are competing for the wrong job then. You want to be a Dreamwarden? Do you understand how often you'll be staring at a situation, think that it is terrible and someone should do something, but you can't even tell anyone about it because of those silly rules the Dreamwardens have? What's a handicapped dream god to do, then? You learn how to give nudges and little pushes to break people out of their comfort zones, and you hope they fix the problem that you are worried about without telling them a thing about the problem or what they should be doing. You just recognize their potential that they themselves don't see, and you do what you can to help that along– convoluted plans that exist on a hope and a prayer. It can be traumatic for the individual, but it is probably more traumatic for all the people that they could have helped if you didn't mess with the person's life. Dreamwardens and I aren't so different."
I had never considered that. I suppose it was one way of getting around Dreamwarden Oaths so you could help people. It required messing with people, possibly disrupting their life, but if it helped many more, was it worth it? Now that I thought about it, have I already encountered the Dreamwardens doing just that? Yinyu had messed with my life for the better, but she'd definitely messed with it. She'd done it because she liked me, but she had an agenda too, one she wasn't always open with me about. I thought about Jess and how the Dreamwardens kept her busy, but how much did she know, and how much did they do to push her? There were others, Sunset Blessing maybe, that they constantly messed with, yet could there be some greater goal?
This was exhausting to listen to and think about, and I was still head-bandaged in bed with an IV in me.
"I just want some cuddles," I whimpered.
Discord laughed. "A mare who knows what she wants and is not afraid to express it. I like her. Here you go!" He snapped his fingers.
A giant boa constrictor suddenly appeared, wrapped around my body. I screamed, and all my friends rushed to my aid.
"I think my work here is done. Ta-ta for now!" Discord said, disappearing as Blanche and Jonathan worked to remove the serpent from around my body.