Twilight: Teleports right into Celestia's bedroom "LUNA WHAT THE BUCK IS GOING ON?! YOU TOLD ME CELESTIA IS DEAD?! HOW?! WHY?! WHAT HAPPENED?!"
Luna: "Oh! Hello Twilight Sparkle. Yes, our sister has died."
A little filly alicorn with pink hair is on the bed.
Luna: "There she is."
Twilight: "..." Twilight .exe has failed
Luna: "You see, to allow alicorns to survive so long, every so often we undergo a regeneration cycle where we die, and are reborn."
Celestia: "Yes! All new veins! Brain cells! Arteries! Bones! Everything's new!"
Twilight: "And this happens every few hundred years?"
Celestia: "Or if you die in battle."
Luna: "Or undergo incredible drain on your magics to the point you're about to die."
Celestia: "Or if your last regeneration didn't go well. Frankly I always like having a big booty. I tried the small booty form for a while, it just didn't suit me."
Luna: deadpan "How terrible that must have been for you, sister."
Celestia: scoff "You killed yourself once to make your booty bigger!"
Luna: "You insane cake lust always gave you the edge!"
Twilight: "..." Her brain is full of fuck. "Cadence?! Did you know about this?!"
Cadence: "Knew about it? I've actually gone through it! Remember when I had to go to the hospital for the strangles?"
Twilight: "You died of strangles?!"
Cadence: "No, no, I died from food poisoning. They just said I had strangles. Hoo boy though, that was scary!"
Twilight: "You died three months ago?!"
Cadence: "But Shining did enjoy being together with me when I was a teenager. Let me tell you, he was sooo big and-"
Twilight: Teleports away immediately.
Luna: "Must you do that?"
Cadence: "Yes."
This written by Rokas
The Princesses Three get a missive from Spike: "Twilight's Dead!" and they rush to her castle.
Spike: "Oh thank Harmony you're here!" *Runs over and hugs Celestia.*
Celestia: "Of course," she says, even as she wraps forelegs around the dragon. "Now tell us what happened."
Spike: "She came back from meeting you in Canterlot and said something about getting an image out of her head and the next thing I knew she drank a whole bottle of bleach!"
Luna: *Aside to Cadance* "Bleach?"
Cadance: "Cleaning chemical, very poisonous."
Celestia: *To Spike* "That must not have been pleasant to watch, Spike. But you do remember what I told you about alicorns, right?"
Spike: *Sniffles as he hugs Celestia, but nods* "You don't die for good and she'll be back, and I'm guessing that's why you're young now. But it was really bad to watch her convulse on the ground and foam at the mouth."
Twilight: "I'm sorry Spike."
Everyone turns to see a tiny filly Twilight Sparkle stumbling out from the door to her room.
Twilight: "I didn't mean to scare you, but SOMEPONY has ISSUES" *glares at Cadance*
Cadance: "Look, if you'd just find a good stallion and get mounted already—"
Celestia: *emphatically clearing her throat* "I don't think this is the time for that conversation," she says, and then turns her head to Twilight while letting go of Spike. "And Twilight, as disturbing as Cadance can be when she's on about, er, relationships—"
Cadance winks.
Celestia: "—You should really control yourself more thoroughly. Poor Spike at least knows that you were going to be back, but even then witnessing one of our deaths isn't a pleasant thing even with that foreknowledge."
Twilight: *Looking morose* "You're right." *turns to Spike* "Can you ever forgive me?"
Spike: *Walks over and hugs Filly!Twilight* "Of course! Just don't do that again!"
Twilight returns the hug, and the older princesses d'awww. Celestia then walks up and leans her head over to whisper in
Twilight's ear: "By the way, how would you rate the experience?"
Twilight: *Bemused, backs out of the hug and gives Celestia an odd look.* "Uh, what?"
Celestia: "I'm curious. I mean, you would think being stabbed and bleeding out would be bad, but I've found it's surprisingly painless compared to food poisoning or being crushed."
Luna: "'Tis the blood boiling of battle that dulls the pain."
Cadance: "We call that 'adrenaline' now."
Twilight: "Well, I haven't died before, but... Honestly, I can't say I'd suggest it, even if you were curious. It's really, really
painful."
Celestia: "I do admit to being curious, but I shall take your advice and avoid it."
Spike: "Okay, the extreme weirdness of alicorns aside, what are we going to do now that Twilight has a few weeks of regrowing to do?"
Twilight: "What do you mean? I'm perfebly... perfectly fine."
Celestia: "Twilight, as you just now showed, your mind may be grown but your body is not, and until your brain catches up with your mind you're going to need some kind of supervision until you work out the kinks."
Cadance: "Oh! Let me take her, please? She can be a playmate to Flurry."
Twilight: "Wait a minute! What about Celestia?"
Luna: "We have long experience in adapting to this event, fair Twilight, and my sister and I are quite adept at not only caring for one another, but also handling being young again and effects thereof."
Twilight: "So why can't I stay with you?"
Luna: "Because if I had to deal with two alicorn children at once I'd probably kill myself just to get a vacation."
Cadance: "...Wait a moment."
Luna: "Too late! The die has been cast and thy words have been noted!" *Grabs Celestia in a telekinetic aura and then leaps into the air.* "Send us a letter when you get to the Empire!" *Teleports herself and Celestia away.*
Cadance: "Luuuuunaaaaaaa!!
Twilight and Spike give each other an uneasy look. Then Spike blinks and grins. "Well, at least now I'll get to be the older sibling for a while."
Twilight: *Pouts adorably*