Fluttershy lay on her back, staring up at the ceiling of her guest room. She should be sleeping but her brain just wouldn’t shut off. She’d been in the changeling hive for two days now. Tomorrow Discord was going to snap everypony to Starlight’s old village where they would wait for their friends and the rest of Twilight’s army to assemble.
Fluttershy sighed, rolling onto her side, staring at the wall. While the shadow of war was heavily felt in the hive, it was not the true source of her personal unrest. The Element of Kindness was disturbed because part of her was churning with a thirst for vengeance. She would have wanted justice for Tirek's crimes regardless but, what he’d done to her personally, what he’d made her do; it was almost unforgivable.
She was no stranger to the magic of others transforming her into something she wasn't but never had somepony forced her to become a beast that drank the blood of another creature. She despised Tirek for making her into such a monster, for creating this conflict of identity, for ripping apart the one true confidence she had in herself. A few tears dripped down her face from that loss and her heart swelled with both sorrow and anger as this thought led to another: Tirek was also the reason she’d openly confessed to and flaunted her feelings for Discord. Fluttershy’s cheeks flushed in memory.
The kiss at Twilight's castle and Wild Discord's probing of her body had unlocked her raw, confusing need to be his. It overrode everything, completely exposing the deepest secret of her heart. It wasn't that she was upset that he now knew; It was the fact that she was robbed of the opportunity to confess her feelings under her own choice of circumstance. An unwanted evil audience had even been witness to the latter intimate event; something that mortified her when she thought back to what had taken place!
Her face burned further as she remembered the areas Discord had explored. Even now the ghost of his muzzle lingered against her fur, his warm breath whispering over her body. She recalled how her fear had transformed into desire, her body lighting with a fire that caused her to burn with need as he roamed.
She closed her eyes and let out a shaky breath, reliving the sensations with excited pleasure.
This led to that moment in the cave. After…eating… she had been more than eager to satisfy the lusts of her body, finding her chosen mate practically irresistible. If Cordy hadn’t shown up when he did, she and Discord would have…
Fluttershy twisted around. Thrusting her face into her pillow, she groaned.
Her anger towards Tirek and her thirst for justice had quickly transformed into a different kind of thirst, her body once again responding to the natural yearnings it always did when she thought of her special somedraconequus. Her heart pounded against her ribcage as she thought of possible situations they could experience now that they were a couple; situations involving a connection of lips… a tangling of limbs…
She groaned again and pounded the pillow with her forehooves.
And yet, while the natural, instinctive part of her wanted to satisfy its raving appetite, the greater part was honestly nervous for that particular level of intimacy. Fluttershy had never been in a serious relationship with anypony before. She’d read countless romance novels and seen plenty of mating rituals while caring for animals but she personally didn’t feel at all confident about leaping into Discord’s bed.
At least, not yet.
She wanted to experience what she had read about: the innocent love that begins with feather light touches, that naturally progresses over time into something profound and wonderful.
She didn’t want a fling.
She wanted permanence.
And that thought opened an entirely new insecurity: what if that wasn’t what Discord wanted?
It was a natural thing to wonder about, after all. He was the Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony. He’d been around for centuries. It was entirely naïve to believe she was his first real relationship. Surely he’d had others? And if he had, none of those had lasted. Why would her relationship with him be any different?
This thought saddened Fluttershy more than expected. In fact, it nearly punched a hole in her heart.
Her eyes filled with tears as doubt, fear, and inadequacy overwhelmed her. She curled onto her side, hugging her pillow to her chest, wishing that the plush, smooth surface was thin, gray, and furry.
But really, in all reality, why in Equestria would a being like Discord be interested in a marriage relationship with her? She wasn't exotic or glamorous. Half the time she had feathers, twigs, and leaves stuck in her mane. And her coat was always dirty from tending to her animals. She worked weird hours, she was a complete shut in, and she loved the quiet and mundane. She had a plethora of fears and preferred the company of a few. She wasn't anypony special.
And who was she to try to bind Chaos to her forever anyway? Could she even call it forever? She was mortal. One day she would die and leave Discord behind. Would that bother him like it bothered her or would he freely move on to the next stage of his eternal existence? How deep was the love he had for her? And was it the kind of love that she had wished for? Longed for?
Fluttershy wiped away another tear.
She was being foolish. This speculation was getting her nowhere. The only way to calm these fears was to bring them to Discord and demand answers. But the very thought of asking him such probing questions unnerved her. Now wasn't the time to be focusing on her insecurities anyway. She needed to focus on how to help her friends defeat Tirek.
But need and want are sometimes two very different things and, unfortunately, her wants were winning.
Eventually the shadow of doubt overwhelmed her enough that she got up and left her room. She was already standing in front of his door with her hoof raised when her brain finally caught up with her emotions. What in the world was she doing? It was the middle of the night! There’s no way that he would-
The door suddenly opened and Fluttershy squeaked, cowering within the sudden invasion of light spilling into the hallway. Startled, Discord reeled back, unprepared for her unexpected visit. His surprise quickly transformed into joy as his eyes brightened and his tail wagged, taking in the sight of his favorite pony.
“Fluttershy!” he happily cried, “What brings you to my door in the absurd hours of Luna’s night?”
The pegasus shakily got her bearings, her heart pounding not just because of their unexpected encounter but for the immense attraction she felt seeing him.
While originally finding his height rather intimidating, now she found it positively alluring. His lengthy body was thin yet strong and fit within the confines of her fore and back legs perfectly. She loved the way he could coil around her like a snake, rubbing against her fur in a unique and intimate embrace. His paw and claw, sharp and formidable, she saw as tools to arouse her senses and melt her into an internal pile of goo. Then there was his tail; the tuft was remarkable at moving about. Even now her cheeks burned in memory at the way it crawled up her leg, its silky texture almost as soft as a rose petal as it moved. Honestly, she wouldn’t mind if it continued its exploration at a later time.
She mentally shook herself, remembering that she had yet to answer him.
“I, um, couldn’t sleep,” she mumbled, looking down at her hooves as all her insecurities returned to the forefront of her mind.
“A mutual crisis, I fear,” he confessed, rubbing the back of his head. “I was actually coming to see you but it appears you had the same thought and beat me to it.” Fluttershy smiled weakly as he stepped aside. “Why don’t you come in and we can talk.”
“Okay.”
Though only here temporarily, Discord had added his own personal touches to his guest room. The bed was on the side of the wall, an impossible window displayed a view of an unknown ocean, and a whirlpool of paint swirled around on the ceiling. Occasionally a bubble would spew forth from it, floating around the room and emitting an odd glow of light. The floor was covered in a sea of stars. With every step she took, Fluttershy saw the surface ripple, the stars swirling out of place before settling into a new cluster of constellations.
She couldn’t help smiling at the chaos. How far she’d come, appreciating and growing accustomed to his unique brand of magic. It seemed like a lifetime ago that she’d feared and opposed it.
Discord snapped up a comfortable chair for her before conjuring a large wicker basket complete with flower-patterned cushion for himself; he coiled inside it and settled with his head propped on his lion paw, his tail tuft just a few inches from his face. His whole body filled the space and he looked like a strange dog happily nestled in his bed. Fluttershy found the whole sight adorable.
“So, what chaotic thoughts are keeping you from drifting into the realm of dreams, my dear?” he asked.
The warm smile slid from her face like rain falling down a window pane. Her eyes grew sad and her ears drooped. Discord immediately shot out of the basket, rushing over to her side.
“Shy?” he prompted, gently squeezing her hooves.
She didn't respond because there was a sudden lump in her throat. Her vision blurred and she blinked. Traitorous tears spilled over, falling past her eyelashes down her cheeks. She began to shake as her pent up sadness leaked freely from her body, exposing the raw hurt her insecurities had inflicted.
She gasped when the gentle brush of a paw wiped the tears away. She looked up at Discord. Liquid pools of red and amber stared back at her, filled with nothing but love and concern.
“Fluttershy,” he tried again, “What’s wrong?”
She sniffled. “I’m s-sorry,” she stuttered. “I-I don’t know… I don’t know why…”
Her voice hitched and then stuck in her throat again, the words replaced with a sob.
“Shhh,” he consoled, lifting her into his arms and cuddling her against his chest. “It’s okay.”
It really wasn’t but she couldn’t bring herself to speak. Instead she looped her long legs around his torso and clung to his fur, relishing in the scent of lemonade and blueberries coming from the soft gray coat. Discord nuzzled the top and side of her head with his muzzle, his eagle talons slowly rubbing up and down her spine. Fluttershy closed her eyes and sighed, falling into the comforting solace conveyed by his gentle ministrations. Eventually she calmed enough to pull away. Discord wiped the last of her tears before planting a delicate kiss on her forehead.
“Better?” he asked.
She nodded. “Thanks, Dissy.”
His tail wagged and a toothy smile lit his face. “You’re welcome.”
After placing her back in her chair and conjuring one for himself right across from her, Discord studied her silently. Fluttershy averted her gaze, feeling rather guilty for her bewildering behavior.
“I’m sorry,” she mumbled. “You’re probably wondering why I-”
“Suddenly started crying? I admit I honestly wasn’t expecting such an onslaught of emotion so early in the morning,” he confessed before quickly adding, “Not that it’s a big deal! I’m more than happy to be your shoulder to cry on any time, day or night!”
She smiled but her ears remained pointed towards the ground. Noticing this, Discord bit his lip and coughed slightly into his paw.
“Look, Flutters, I’m not the best at this kind of thing but, if you need to talk… I’ll try my best to listen.”
The pegasus frowned, her eyes on her hooves. After another second of silence, she finally broke it with a tiny whisper.
Discord leaned forward, putting his paw to his ear. “Forgive me, my dear, I’m afraid I missed that.”
Fluttershy tried again. “I’m not sure where to start.”
“Oh. Just say the first thing that comes to mind,” he suggested.
“Okay,” she mumbled, thinking. The first thing that came to mind… “How many marefriends have you had?” she blurted.
Discord froze.
“What?”
Fluttershy gained a bit of confidence and repeated, “How many marefriends have you had? I ask because you’ve been around for centuries and it wouldn’t make sense for me to be the first. Not to mention you seem way more experienced than I am and-”
He reached out and gently placed a finger against her lips. She swallowed and looked up at him, searching his face. He had an uncharacteristically serious expression furrowing his brow.
“Is it really important to you to know?”
She nodded.
Releasing a sigh, he lowered his finger and sat back. “I don’t want to hurt your feelings,” he muttered.
“You won’t,” she assured.
He took a deep breath and let the words tumble out in a rush. “You're not the first I've been with. But you are the first pony. I’ve had several relationships with other creatures."
"Really?" She asked, unable to hide her curiosity.
Discord nodded, glancing at her before looking away. "None of them ever really lasted though.”
Fluttershy couldn't help feeling anxious. Was it because he outlived them like she suspected? She watched him carefully, waiting for a shadow of grief or loss to fall upon him as she asked, “Why?”
Discord nervously tapped his fingers together.
"Being a creature of pure chaos, I feed off of it from others. It calls to me like a drug and I happily seek until I find it," he explained. "The more inner chaos tearing apart an individual, the more attractive that individual can become to me. But when the chaos ebbs away, so does my interest."
Fluttershy didn’t know how to respond to that. From her previous self case study, she didn’t think she fit into the mold of a creature being torn apart by chaos.
Discord seemed to sense her confusion because he gently took her hooves again and squeezed until he had her attention.
“Fluttershy, my dear, you are different from any relationship I’ve ever had. You see, I wasn’t attracted to your chaos but to your kindness. Your extension of friendship, of acceptance, sparked something within me that I didn’t think was possible.”
Her large teal eyes blinked several times in consternation. She was different? The weight pushing down against her heart lifted a fraction at the thought and she felt a small spark of happiness swirling inside.
“What did you not think was possible?” she asked, leaning unconsciously forward.
Discord smiled, a faint blush coloring his cheeks as he sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. “A love for something that wasn’t chaos.”
Fluttershy blushed, a rather pleased smile spreading across her face. She suddenly felt lighter than air. “So, all those other relationships…?”
“Were nothing compared to the one I have with you,” he assured.
That was basically a declaration of love and Fluttershy couldn’t help rewarding such words with a kiss. Discord happily responded, threading his fingers up into her mane and pulling her even closer to him. Shivers of pure pleasure erupted all over Fluttershy, electrifying her insides and rocketing her head into the clouds. The euphoria continued to overwhelm her even when the two of them pulled away. When his eyelids lifted, Discord’s pupils revealed themselves as tiny hearts and Fluttershy giggled, absolutely tickled that she could spark his chaos into exhibiting such a reaction.
At her laughter, Discord came out of his glorious haze and shook his head, his pupils returning to their usual round shape.
“Not that I minded it in the slightest,” he said, “but what was that for?”
Fluttershy blushed, hiding partially behind her mane as she mumbled, “For saying I was different.”
Discord blinked in surprise. “That was really bothering you?”
She nodded. “Among other things…”
The Lord of Chaos rose one single bushy eyebrow before bending down low and poking his snout against hers. “You had my interest before, my dear, but now I am unquestionably sitting on pins and needles.” To emphasize that, the chair he sat upon literally turned into hundreds of pointed needles and pins. Fluttershy gasped in worry but he waved her off, changing the chair back to normal. “No need to worry, Shyfly; they weren’t really sharp. Now, care to elaborate on that last admission of yours?”
Fluttershy bit her lip. While his proclamation that she was different put to rest most of her worries, the question of how long he would be with her remained unanswered. She thought of his first suggestion to just say whatever came to mind. Keeping her eyes on her hooves (she knew looking at him would cause her confession to catch in her throat), she opened her mouth and let everything tumble out.
“I know you said I was different -and I truly believe you are being honest with me when you say that- but part of me still can’t understand why you would be interested in a boring pony like me.” Then she listed off all her inner worries but before Discord could interrupt, she plowed on, “And then I have to wonder how long you would actually want to put up with all of that. How long you would want to… to be with me…”
Her mouth finally clamped up, her tears once again threatening to fall as she waited anxiously to hear what he would say. Silence stretched out between them until a talon gently lifted her chin. Fluttershy naturally shifted her gaze to his, a tear escaping as she blinked. Discord wiped the tear away with his thumb, the smooth talon adding an additional caress as it ran back and forth against the short fur on her cheek. Fluttershy searched his face, surprised by what she saw.
Though displaying a worried frown, Discord’s eyes were soft with love and a spark of wonder and slight bewilderment seemed to emanate from his person.
“My dear little pony,” he said, his voice low and alluring, “when it comes to you, what’s not to like? While it is true that I am more showy than you,” -He flashed into a very loud outfit complete with a peacock feathered crown- “You manage to tame chaos every single day. Animals are incredibly chaotic; especially when you place prey and predators in the same proximity and demand they enter a utopian state while in your care.
“You may be scared of many things but you’re brave too. Just look at how you stood up to me when I was in my evil prime. You faced me thrice and I am an extremely dangerous creature. And, while I do enjoy being obnoxiously in the middle of things, I also like the quiet you bring into my life. It honestly balances me out. I think that’s one of the biggest reasons why I adore every little piece of you.”
He paused before gently setting her down in his lap, stroking her neck and back with his lion paw unconsciously. Fluttershy closed her eyes and sighed in pleasure, overwhelmed with happiness from his comforting words and tender touch. He’d said he adored her! And he didn’t mind that she was messy, scared, and introverted. She was about to drift into a state of bliss when a single, negative thought poked a hole in her euphoria.
He hadn’t said anything about how long he’d wanted to be with her.
Biting her lip, she glanced up. He seemed to have a faraway look on his face, his eyes focused on the wall ahead, his tail twitching every so often between his legs. After a moment of indecision, Fluttershy cleared her throat.
“Discord?”
The draconequus blinked and looked her way. “Yes, darling?”
Fluttershy shuffled nervously, her right shoulder and wing bumping against him. It was now or never.
“What kind of relationship do you want with me?”
“What do you mean?”
While his body language was casual, Fluttershy had been around him long enough to recognize the slight edge in his voice. It was always present when he was nervous or trying to hide something.
She bit her lip. “H-How long do you want to be with me? I’m not immortal like you. I’m not… I’m not going to last… but… but I… if there was a way… I’d want to…”
Her voice tapered off, growing smaller and smaller until the last part was nothing but a whisper. She shut her eyes, fighting back another round of tears. All of a sudden, Discord grabbed her under her forelegs and lifted her up until she was dangling in front of him. Fluttershy gasped in surprise from the movement as well as the intensity radiating from his eyes.
“Say it again,” he demanded, a hint of desperation in his voice.
“W-What?” she asked, slightly overwhelmed.
“What you just said. Say it again. Please.”
Fluttershy blinked, her face flushing as the tears from before began to fall. “I’m not going to last,” she rasped, the words feeling like a kick to her stomach.
“No, no, the other thing,” Discord said, a hint of urgency in his voice.
Something about the look he was giving her made it so she couldn’t drop her gaze even though she wanted to. The words seemed to flow from her mouth, soft but clear.
“If there was a way, I’d want to,” she whispered.
Discord stared at her, his eyes eternally searching hers. “You’re not kidding,” he finally said, his tone filled with wonder and awe as he set her down on the chair opposite him again.
Fluttershy frowned. “Why would I kid about something like this? I… I love you and… and I don’t want to be without you…”
“Fluttershy,” he breathed, “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
The pegasus reached out for his lion paw and pressed it to her cheek, nuzzling it before kissing the soft brown pad underneath. His scent was intoxicating, his touch warm. She never wanted to lose that warmth, that comfort, that sense of excitement only he inspired within her body.
“I know you’re immortal and I know I’m not,” she began, “But I’ve seen what happens when death separates loved ones. I don’t want that to happen to us. If there was a way to always be together, I’d gladly accept it. You’re my best friend.” She looked up into his bewildered gaze. “Let me stay with you,” she whispered, “Please. Not just now but always. I… I need you.”
A moment of silence passed and Fluttershy closed her eyes, waiting for him to shatter her heart, to tell her it was impossible. Only a princess could live forever and she hadn’t done anything astronomically worthy of being bestowed such a title.
She was therefore startled when, instead of verbally responding, Discord's lips pressed against hers, his paw caressing her cheek in profound tenderness. Fluttershy couldn't help reciprocating, a soft moan of need vibrating in her throat as she held his head between her hooves. Discord gently lifted her back into his arms, snaking his eagle hand up her back and into her mane while his lion paw moved sensually down her side and beneath her rump until it reached her other flank, supporting her weight in the crook of his arm. Shivers of pure delight flowed through her veins and Fluttershy gasped from the movements, looping her forelegs around his neck and pressing her body right up against his fur. Discord growled, the noise bringing joy to the pegasus.
“Fluttershy,” he panted as she began peppering kisses along his jaw bone from a burst of confidence, “Darling, as much as I love what you’re doing, we need to stop.”
She ignored him, lost in the passionate love she so desperately wanted to share. Her teeth instinctively nipped at his ear and Discord gasped, the appendage suddenly fluttering as quickly as a hummingbird’s wing. His reaction finally broke through her heated haze and she pushed back a bit, worry in her eyes.
“Did I hurt you?”
Discord suddenly vanished and Fluttershy yelped as she fell. She landed on her chair a second later, the cushion breaking her fall. Feeling slightly hurt, confused, and guilty, she looked around. Discord was leaning against the far wall, his back facing her, his chest heaving as he rested his forehead in the crook of his arm. His tail wagged back and forth and his legs shook beneath him.
"D-Discord…?"
“Sweet chaos, what are you trying to do to me?” he demanded, turning around and leaning against the wall, his head tilted to the ceiling.
“I’m sorry?” she said, confused and hurt. Had she done something wrong?
The Lord of Chaos shook his head before facing her, his eyes flashing with hunger and need. “It’s taking everything I have not to cross this room and rob you of every innocence you still possess.”
“I’m… sorry?”
“Don’t be,” he weakly chuckled. “Don’t ever apologize for being undeniably attractive. I’d marry you this second if we weren’t marching off to war tomorrow.”
“I wouldn’t mind.”
Both of them froze.
Fluttershy’s eyes were wide with disbelief. Had she really just said that?! She looked at Discord, afraid of what he might think of her sudden confession. The draconequus blinked several times before letting out a groan. Then he did something she was not expecting. He opened his chest like a kitchen cupboard and yanked out what was clearly his heart. The gruesome image cut off all romantic feeling in the room and Fluttershy felt her stomach sickeningly clench as he held the pulsing organ in his clawed hand.
“In order for me to say what I need to, you can’t keep interfering. Take five!”
He threw the heart into a chest and slammed the lid shut before securing it with a lock and key. The key magicked over to Fluttershy who looked down at it, confused and slightly scared.
“Discord?” she questioned.
“Well, you’re the keeper of my heart so it only natural for you to hold the key,” he said as if he were mentioning the weather. “Incredible how clear one’s head can become when the heart isn’t interfering.”
Flashing back into his chair, Discord let out a sigh and settled into the cushion before steepling his fingers and surveying the pegasus.
“First off, let me say that I absolutely, one hundred percent approved of what you were doing before,” he said matter of factly, “And I would have loved to continue but there is an elephant in the room that needs to be addressed.”
A large pink elephant suddenly popped into existence, its girth indeed taking up most of the bedroom’s space. Fluttershy let out a soft giggle as the elephant trumpeted loudly and bubbles blew from its trunk. Discord snapped again and the elephant vanished but its bubbles lingered in the air. Waving a few away from his face, Discord cleared his throat.
“Now, my dear, let us discuss your latest comment. The one concerning marriage.”
“O-Okay,” Fluttershy muttered, her face flushing as she shuffled uncomfortably.
Discord magicked up two cups of tea, offering one to her before taking a bite out of his own. “I want it completely understood that I have every intention of marrying you someday,” he stated.
Fluttershy’s heart practically leapt out of her chest. “W-What? Really?!”
He nodded, soldiering on, “But there’s something you need to know explicitly before agreeing to any sort of proposal I eventually present to you.”
Fluttershy frowned, her excitement withering somewhat. “Oh, okay.”
“Don’t sound so downhearted, my dear,” he said without much affection in his voice. “I return your feelings, do I not?”
“Well, yes.”
“Then why the sadness?”
“I guess I’m just nervous you’re going to say it’s impossible because I’m not a princess,” she mumbled, looking down at her tea, her murky reflection sad on the brown surface.
“That’s not an issue at all,” Discord said with a wave of his claw.
Fluttershy nearly dropped her teacup. “What?” she cried, utterly shocked. “It’s not?”
Discord chuckled. “My dear little pony, the only thing preventing you from being with me eternally is yourself.”
“Huh?”
“If you decide that you are absolutely, resolutely, one hundred percent certain, without a shadow of a doubt confident in your desire to accept every single ounce of consequence that comes with immortality then we can tie the knot whenever you want.”
Fluttershy’s mouth fell open. Discord had spoken with such plain, unvarnished honesty that no amount of doubt or uncertainty could cripple his statement in her mind. He was dead serious. It really was up to her. But…
“But is that what you want?” she whispered, speaking her last thought aloud.
“Pardon?” Discord asked, finishing his tea.
Her teal eyes lifted to stare directly into his mismatched yellow and red ones. “We both know that’s what I want but what do you want, Discord? Do you want me to be with you forever?”
Discord blinked down at her before holding his hand out. “Key please.”
“Huh?”
“Key,” he repeated, pointing at the metal key sitting beside her on the bed.
Utterly confused, Fluttershy handed it over and Discord summoned the chest with his heart in it. Opening it back up, he pulled out the heart and shoved it back where it belonged. His pupils suddenly turned bright and glassy before shaping into hearts.
“My dear, sweet Fluttershy,” he practically purred, reaching forward to cup her cheek, “Nothing would bring me greater joy than to have you in my life forever. Nothing. Not even chaos.”
“You mean that?” Fluttershy asked, her heart thundering against her ribcage.
“I do,” he said with a warm smile.
The teacup fell from Fluttershy’s hooves as she launched herself into Discord’s arms and began kissing him. The draconequus chuckled deep in his throat as he kissed her back. After a moment, the pegasus pulled back and stared desperately into his eyes.
“I want to be with you forever, Discord,” she declared.
He smiled but there was a hint of sadness in his eyes. He gently pushed her away from him, setting her back down in her chair.
“My darling, as much as I love to hear you say that, I don’t think you completely understand the magnitude of required sacrifices for Ascension. It’s not something that should be taken lightly.”
“Ascension?”
“The process of becoming immortal,” Discord elaborated.
“Oh, like what happened to Twilight when she became a princess?”
“Yes.”
Fluttershy’s head felt like it was beginning to spin. If Ascension was required to be immortal and Discord was immortal…
“Does that mean… you used to be… a regular creature?”
Discord shook his head. “No, I’m a special case. My Ascension came with birth. My role as the Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony was bestowed upon me shortly thereafter.”
“You were born immortal?”
Discord nodded.
Fluttershy frowned as a whole list of questions suddenly paraded through her mind, questions she had always desperately wanted to ask him through the years.
“Ask your questions, Fluttershy,” Discord muttered, interrupting her thought process. She looked up to find him smiling. “If you’re going to be with me forever, you’ll need to know.”
“Are you sure?” she asked. “I don’t want to force you to share things with me.”
He gave her hoof a gentle squeeze. “It would be a pleasure -and honestly a relief- to share it with you.”
Fluttershy bit her lip, her curiosity burning like a bonfire as she asked a question she'd wanted to ask for a long time. “Discord, where did you come from?”
The draconequus let out a long sigh through his nostrils before sitting back in his chair. “You might want to get comfortable, my dear. My past isn’t something I’ve talked about in a very long time. Celestia was the last pony to hear about it and even then I didn’t tell her everything.”
“Celestia?” Fluttershy said, unable to hide the small burst of jealousy that burned in her eyes.
Discord smirked and let out a tiny chuckle. “No need to be jealous, my dear. I’ll get to that part of my story eventually.”
“Okay,” she pouted, folding her legs up underneath her and settling down on her chair.
Smiling at her slight pout, Discord took a breath and began.
“A long time ago, shortly after the creation of Equus, my mother and father, the makers of the world, decided to create me.”
“Your parents are the creators of-?” Fluttershy gasped but Discord cut her off with a wave of his claws.
“Yes, yes, the creators of the world and everything in it. Please try not to interrupt, dear. It’ll take twice as long to share my tale and, unfortunately, the dawn is drawing closer which means I don’t have a lot of time before we have to be up and moving to Starlight’s old village.”
“Oh, okay, sorry.”
“No worries,” he smiled before stroking his beard. “Now where was I? Right, dear ol’ mom and dad. My mother is Mother Nature, the most beautiful alicorn to exist, my sister being a close second. The other princesses are lovely, don’t get me wrong, but if you Ascend, well, I think it’ll be fairly obvious who will fill the spot of favorite alicorn for me.”
“Discord.”
“Right,” he coughed. “Off topic. Anyway, my mother is Mother Nature and my father is Abysm, ruler of Tartarus and Father of Monsters. Unlike my mother, his form changes all the time into every animal and creature that has ever walked Equus -hence why I look the way I do- but he once ruled the land as Grogar until he grew tired of the role and allowed Gusty the Great to dethrone and defeat him. Mother was missing him something awful anyway.
“Anywho, after using their magic to create the world and everything in it, they decided to have a child of their own, born from their love. That’s where I come in. I obviously took after my father and was therefore dubbed the Lord of Chaos and Disharmony. After wreaking havoc on the world for a few years my parents decided another child was needed to ‘reel me in’. Thus, Amity was born, Spirit of Order and Harmony. She is an alicorn like my mother and is the power behind the Elements and Geodes of Harmony.
“Though I will never outright admit this to anypony but perhaps you and my family, I love Amity. However, as her brother and the Lord of Chaos, I have a duty to make things hard for her. To balance out my chaotic and disharmonic nature, she chose to work through the means of Champions. She selected creatures that befit her individual characteristics. The Pillars, you and your friends, the human versions of yourselves; each of you are Champions of Amity and a piece of her spirit resides inside you. Like a succession, with every ‘death’ the spirit moves on to seek a new host. Oh, as a side note, Amity’s spirit isn’t what makes you kind or Twilight magical or Pinkie Pie funny. Each of you already possessed those traits and simply attracted Amity like bees to honey.”
“Now, I bet you’re wondering why there wasn’t a new set of Champions immediately after the Pillars disappeared?”
Fluttershy nodded, leaning forward unconsciously, completely enthralled in his tale.
“Well, before they disappeared, Amity inspired the Pillars to plant a certain seed.”
“The Tree of Harmony!” Fluttershy said excitedly, her wings fluttering.
Discord nodded. “Her intent was to create the Elements of Harmony but for what purpose I honestly don’t know. I’ll have to ask her about that next time I see her. All I know is that she decided to place her essence into that seed and help it grow until it bore fruit. She also created a small buffer to keep harmony in the land, knowing the Pillars were not always going to be there. This is where Tia and Lulu come in.
“You see, my mother and sister were the only alicorns before Celestia and Luna Ascended. After careful consideration, Amity chose them, raising the two from unicorn to alicorn status. This Ascension was naturally seen by the other ponies as some sort of divine sign that they were meant to be princesses over all Equestria. Every pony agreed with that conclusion but the alicorns were young and not yet ready to rule. So the Pillars took care of Equestrian affairs while Tia and Lulu spent a great deal of their youth training to become royals.
“Well, once I learned of their Ascension, I couldn’t help but introduce myself. Granted, my presence was more seen as an allowed nuisance than anything else because no matter what anypony did they couldn’t get rid of me.” He stopped to chuckle a bit. “I developed a friendship of sorts with Celestia -very similar to my relationship with Twilight, actually- and told her a few things about my past but not all. You see, my dear, I wanted to spend time with her and Lulu because, though born of regular unicorn parents, they became the children of Amity when they Ascended due to her being the one to Ascend them. And, in that way, though more related through magic than anything else, they also became-”
“Your nieces!” Fluttershy gasped, her jaw dropping in shock as her wings flared out. “They’re your nieces! Wait…That means… You and Celestia were never in any kind of relationship?”
Discord burst out laughing, his body flying up and rolling like a ferris wheel as his cackles filled the room. Fluttershy waited for him to finish, silently feeling foolish for ever thinking such a thing. Sensing her displeasure, the Lord of Chaos stopped spinning and lowered himself back into his chair but his body still rattled with silent giggles.
“Oh, Fluttershy, I’m sorry for upsetting you. That rumor is the biggest gag I’ve allowed to continue because I find it utterly hilarious." He wiped a tear from his eye.
The pegasus huffed and folded her arms, hiding behind her mane. “I don’t think it’s funny,” she grumbled.
Discord cleared his throat, forcing the giggles to cease as he took her hooves and lowered them. “My dear, I’m sorry. You’ve probably wondered for a long time if there was some past romance between me and Celestia. I know countless ponies and other creatures have as well. But the only thing we share is a familial bond. Not that she knows that,” he added on with a chuckle.
“What?” Fluttershy stammered, twisting back to face him. “You mean she has no idea you’re her uncle?”
Discord shook his head. “Luna doesn't either.”
Fluttershy frowned in thought before her eyes widened further. "If they're your nieces then Twilight and Cadence…?"
Discord nodded. "They are my great nieces. Cadence and Twilight were not granted Ascension through Amity. Celestia bestowed that gift to them."
Fluttershy's eyes widened again. "She has the power to do that?"
"Apparently it's an alicorn trait," he chuckled. "But, before you get any thoughts of a bunch of ponies becoming alicorns on a whim, there are rules, rules my mother set in place after Amity created her 'daughters'.
“An alicorn can only create a total of two other alicorns and, in order for candidates to be granted Ascension, they must perform an act worthy of Ascension. The alicorn granting and performing the Ascension also acknowledges that she will eventually retire and pass on into True Ascension."
Fluttershy held up her hoof as if she was attending a class. "Um, what is True Ascension?"
"The status that, so far, is only held by my parents, Amity, and myself. It is a state of always existing, without end, and, in the princesses case, being the Spirit of whatever act granted them Ascension."
"So Celestia and Luna…?"
"Will eventually become the literal Spirits of the Sun and Moon," Discord confirmed. "And, when their successors are chosen and ready, Cadence will become the literal Spirit of Love and Twilight will become the literal Spirit of Friendship. As for Flurry Heart, she’s a wild card. I’ll have to ask my mother about her the next time we meet."
Fluttershy sat back, stunned. There was so much to take in and she honestly was having a hard time keeping up with all the revelations Discord had just shared. Mother Nature was real! And she was Discord's mother! Discord had a family! He wasn't completely alone as she had supposed. That thought brought a smile to her face and Discord, curious to know what she was thinking, asked her just that.
She shook her head. "I'm just so happy! You have a family, Discord! And here I thought you were all alone. But you have parents, a sister, and nieces!”
And then another thought caught up with her from all these revelations and Fluttershy’s brow furrowed as her confusion returned. “Um, Discord? If I were to Ascend, wouldn’t I be…?”
Discord smiled mischievously, shaking his head. “No, Fluttershy, you wouldn't. The ones who granted my Ascension would also give you yours. You would be your own independent Spirit without familial ties and stand on equal ground with me.”
Fluttershy’s puzzlement didn’t subside as she confessed, “I’m confused.”
Discord’s smile deepened. “My parents. They would be the ones to grant you Ascension.”
Fluttershy’s whole soul froze inside her body. “W-What?” she gasped. Her lungs felt like somepony or something was squeezing them so she couldn’t breathe properly.
“My parents would grant you Ascension,” Discord repeated. “Shortly after they made Amity, they revealed to both of us that we had the privilege of selecting a spouse of our choice that they would make immortal. I laughed in their faces at the time; I honestly didn’t believe I could love anything other than chaos. But, here you are.
"Now, just because I’ve chosen you doesn’t mean that you have to Ascend. That choice is still yours. You can marry me and have a wonderful mortal life and I will enjoy every second of it with you.”
“But I’ll die,” Fluttershy interrupted, “And you’ll be alone.”
Discord glanced away, swallowing with difficulty. “I’d…manage.”
Fluttershy raised an eyebrow. They both knew that was a lie. Her skepticism elicited a reluctant sigh from the draconequus and Discord folded his arms and pouted, his head lowering while a disgruntled expression overwhelmed his features.
“Oh, alright, fine,” he mumbled, “I would be completely and utterly miserable without you.”
Fluttershy smiled, gratitude and love spreading throughout her heart and soul.
Others may think this confession would solely dictate her choice towards immortality but, the truth was, she already didn’t want to die. Yes, she wanted to be with Discord, but there were always going to be creatures in need of assistance and healing too. There were always going to be ponies who needed her help. Living forever would ensure the ability to take care of them.
Then there was Discord, who would always be there. He’d lived for centuries without her, had probably seen kingdoms rise and fall and the very landscape change. The thought of him living without her, with nothing but memories and heartbreak to look back on, was enough to solidify her decision.
She wanted this. She wanted to be with him without having to face the reality of mortality. And would she really be happy in heaven without him? Because Fluttershy truly believed that there was an afterlife, that there was a state of rest for all living creatures. She’d always thought of it as a happy place but would she really truly be happy surrounded by family and friends without Discord?
No.
No, she wouldn’t.
“I’d be completely and utterly miserable,” she muttered aloud.
“Yes, I would be,” Discord reiterated, still scowling from the admission.
Fluttershy shook her head, her mane swishing back and forth against her neck. “No, Discord, I would be miserable.”
He frowned and raised one of his adorable bushy eyebrows. “I’m afraid I don’t follow.”
“I would be miserable without you,” she stated, looking him dead in the eye so that he knew just how serious she was about this. “Discord, I’ve already said it before: I want to be with you. Forever. I don’t want a mortal life filled with marital bliss. I want an eternal one.”
Discord folded his arms and looked at her with an intense expression, one she’d never before seen on his face. He was serious; dead serious.
“Do you really understand the ramifications of what you’re saying, Fluttershy?” he asked, searching her teal gaze. “Because I honestly don’t think even Twilight fully understands what will eventually happen to her. An immortal life means saying goodbye to every pony and every creature you have ever known and loved. It means watching the world move around you while you only jump in and be an occasional part of it. It means never really putting down roots without the complete and total understanding that said roots will eventually wither away and die.
“If you commit to this, to me, you are agreeing to witness the death of your family, your friends, and everypony and creature you’ve ever associated with. You’ll be there for every single burial. You’ll never see your friends again. Are you prepared to say goodbye to your family? To Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Applejack? Are you prepared to see the light leave their eyes, to see their bodies disappear within the earth, to come across their graves again and again for the rest of eternity, knowing their bodies are there but their spirits are not?”
Fluttershy looked down at her hooves, seriously contemplating his words. They cut, deeper than she was willing to admit, and with them sprouted a tiny seed of doubt in her choice. Could she live with a magnitude of such loss? Could she live with the reality of never seeing any of them again?
Discord looked at her sadly, a weary sigh escaping his lips. “This is why I didn’t want to bring this up until after we’d been dating for a while.”
Pulled from her inner musings, Fluttershy’s head shot up to look at him. “What do you mean?” she demanded, hurt that he would attempt to keep such an important piece of information from her.
Discord’s ears drooped as did his horns. “I didn’t want to have to say goodbye,” he mumbled, looking at his paw and claw.
“What do you mean ‘say goodbye’?”
“I can’t make you choose between me and your family and friends,” he muttered. “I was selfish in trying to keep this from you so that our relationship would last longer. If you want to break up, I completely understand.”
Fury suddenly burned through the small pegasus and she launched herself onto her hooves, glaring angrily at the draconequus and his abysmal conclusion.
“Why would I want to break up with you?” she demanded, her offense and anger growing as his face filled with shock. “Is my love for you really so hard to believe? Are you saying that it’s shallow? That you’re not worth it? Because you are!” she snapped, overriding him when he tried to speak. “No, Discord! You’re going to be quiet and listen to me!
“I can’t believe that you would insult my love for you in such a way! Yes, leaving my loved ones behind is something I confess I need to think about, but I didn’t immediately think of cutting all ties with you because of it! Has it ever occurred to you that you’re my friend too? That you’re the family I want to be a part of?
“I love you, you big dumb draconequus! I might need time to really think everything through but one thing needs to be explicitly clear between us: I am not going to abandon you! So stop believing that I will! Trust me! Have faith in me and just say that you love me as much as I love you!”
She stopped, the next words caught momentarily in her throat, her emotions spilling over like an erupted volcano. Anger, disappointment, confusion, uncertainty, hope, and love coursed through her soul but one thing was perfectly clear and she voiced it as she backed up and landed back on her chair; funny, she didn’t even realize she’d taken to the air to flap right in Discord’s face until now.
Taking a deep breath, she said, “I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Give me time to figure out whether that includes immortality or not.” She paused before mumbling, “But please don’t give up on me. On us.”
Discord was staring at her, a rather curious expression on his face. Initially, he appeared shell-shocked but that shock was quickly transforming into a dazzling smile that showed all of his perfectly sharp carnivorous teeth. His pupils dilated, the red gems turning glossy and bright as he began to laugh. His tail shot out, looping around Fluttershy’s torso before yanking her into his waiting arms. Immediately he began snuggling her, nuzzling her face with his own, his arms squeezing her affectionately.
“Such beautiful, remarkable chaos,” he whispered in her ear, eliciting an involuntary shiver down her spine. “My dear, sweet pegasus, I love your kindness but I adore your ferocity! You have my heart and soul and it would be an absolute privilege to bask in the sweetness of your life, mortal or immortal, for as long as you’ll allow me.”
Fluttershy smiled, her eyes welling again with tears. “Really? No matter what I choose?”
“No matter what,” he declared, brushing aside her tears. “I’m yours.”
Fluttershy released an exhausted yet happy “Okay” before snuggling into his chest and holding him with all the strength she possessed.
He was hers. The world could end tomorrow and she wouldn’t care. The only thing that mattered was what was happening at this particular moment.
“I love you, Discord,” she muttered into his fur, her eyes closing as exhaustion finally started catching up with her.
Discord kissed the top of her head, his fingers slowly stroking her mane. “I love you too, Fluttershy.”
She smiled.
He had revealed so much to her but now that she knew, it didn’t feel like a burden on her mind. Now she could have time to process, reflect, and decide. And that knowledge allowed her to finally relax in the comfort of what truly mattered: his love for her. Eventually, within the safety of his loving embrace, she fell asleep.