//------------------------------// // The Discord Approach // Story: How Pinkie Pie "Saved" Hearth's Warming // by Alabenson //------------------------------// “In retrospect, I really wish we could have waited until after we had an idea about what Pinkie Pie’s planning next,” Moonwhisper grumbled to himself as he trudged through the snowy streets of Ponyville. After Rarity had returned with the news that Pinkie’s latest plan had failed before it had even begun, Moonwhisper had briefly hoped that the entire barrage of nonsense would finally be over. The general consensus among Twilight and her friends, though, had been that it was staggeringly unlikely that such a minor setback would do anything but spur Pinkie Pie on further. Under different circumstances, Moonwhisper would have found such dedication to be admirable. As it was, however, Moonwhisper was now charged with patrolling Ponyville’s streets in the vain hope that he could bait out Pinkie and convince her that whatever she tried next had actually succeeded. “Of course, convincing Pinkie of anything would be much easier if I had any remote idea where she was!” Moonwhisper snarled. After a few moments of silence confirmed to him that his brief outburst had gone unnoticed, Moonwhisper resumed his lonely patrol through the town. “This whole situation is patently absure, even the standards of Miss Pie’s usual behavior. Why wouldn’t I like Hearth’s Warming? It’s a genuinely enjoyable celebration of everything the guard is sworn to protect, it keeps Equestria safe from windigos and it makes Penumbral Dusk miserable.” “Hmmm, why wouldn’t you like Hearth’s Warming indeed?” Moonwhisper looked up to see Pinkie Pie reclining on a nearby store awning as she looked down at him with a sly grin. “Hello…Miss Pie,” Moonwhisper replied, repressing the urge to once again insist that he did not, in fact, dislike the holiday as he reminded himself that Pinkie needed to think that she had solved the problem herself. “What brings you out this late? “Oh, I was just talking with a friend of mine about how e can get you to stop being such a grumpy Gus.” “A friend…?” Moonwhisper asked as a leaden feeling formed in his stomach. His worst fears were quickly confirmed as a pair of claws hoisted him up into the air. “Of course. You would involve yourself in something like this.” “You mean helping Twilight’s dear paramour overcome his distaste for Hearth’s Warming?” Discord replied with false innocence. “How could I possibly stand by and do nothing while my good friend Pinkie Pie was working herself to exhaustion trying to help you see the light. But, don’t worry. Once we’re don here everything will finally be as it should be. Are you ready to be show the magic of Hearth’s Warming?” “I don’t actually have a choice in the matter, do I?” “Of course not!” Discord laughed as he tucked Moonwhisper under one arm to free up his paw. “Let’s go!” With that, Discord snapped his claws, causing Moonwhisper, Pinkie Pie, and himself to all vanish in a flash of light. The trio reappeared moments later floating high in the sky above what, for Pinkie Pie at least, was a very familiar rock farm. “Hey, what are we doing at my family’s rock farm?” Pinkie asked as she looked down at the festively decorated farm. “Well, we’re showing Moonwhisper scenes of ponies embracing the true joy of the holiday, aren’t we? And what better example of that than your family?” Discord replied. “Also, I didn’t have much time to go searching for better examples.” “Oh, I guess that makes sense. Ooh! Are they going to be able to see us, or are we more like ghosts from a Hearth’s Warming Tale? Can I be the Spirit of Hearth’s Warming Presents? Twilight always does her me voice when she reads that part of the story, which is really neat because that spirit was always my favorite character when I was a little filly, but –” Pinkie found herself abruptly cut off as Discord pinched her lips together with his free claw. “That’s all very interesting and I’m glad you’re happy, but we do have important business to take care of, remember?” “I guess you’re right. Still, it’ll be really fun to show Moonwhisper all my family’s holiday traditions,” Pinkie Pie said as the trio silently descended towards the farmhouse. Inside, they found the Pie family, less Pinkie and Maud, sitting at the dinner table quietly eating a meal of rock soup. “Aw, look at everypony having dinner together. That’s what the holidays are really about, being together with family.” “Well, I do consider Twilight and Spike to be family at this point, so I suppose that aspect of it does hold a certain appeal nowadays…” Moonwhisper mused to himself. “Oh, what’s the matter? No family holiday traditions from your foalhood?” Discord teased as a suddenly alarmed Pinkie Pie frantically waved her hooves in the air while shaking her head. “Ah yes, holiday traditions at Castle Umbra, I suppose we did have a few. There was putting up fresh ‘No Trespassing’ signs on the front gates. And Penumbral Dusk’s annual effort to force the local village to ban caroling. Let’s see, what else…” “Ugh, of course, your over-the-top traumatic past. How could I have forgotten?” Discord grumbled before looking down at Pinkie’s assembled family. “Still, things did get betting for you, eventually. And in part because of what you can seen down there; a family together for the holidays. Well, mostly together, anyway. Isn’t that the sort of thing you keep fighting for?” “I suppose,” Moonwhisper replied noncommittally as the trio watched over the quiet dinner for another minute or so. “You know, I really thought this would be a bit livelier,” Discord finally snorted. “Are you kidding? I haven’t seen my family this cheerful since Applejack and her family visited. After we finished pushing Holder’s Boulder up from the quarry, I mean. But, it does kind of feel like something’s missing here,” Pinkie Pie said as she peered closer at her family. “Wait, I see what it is now. Mom left out a couple of empty plates where Maud and I usually sit. I wonder why she’d do something like that?” “Yes, well, that’s all very interesting, but maybe we should try a scene where there’s a bit more going on. Or, anything going on,” Discord said impatiently before snapping his claws once again. In an instant, the world around the trio began to rapidly spin into a blur of color, until it came to an abrupt stop and they found themselves floating outside a familiar bakery. “Ooh, Sugar Cube Corner! This is perfect! Seeing the Cakes all happy together celebrating Hearth’s Warming is sure to bring out the holiday spirit in anypony, no matter how grouchy they are.” “I’m not that – alright, I will admit that I can be somewhat grouchy, but not to the extent that I need a Hearth’s Warming holiday tour throughout Equestria,” Moonwhisper grumbled. Moonwhisper’s complaints, however, accomplished little beyond prompting Discord to shove a candy cane in his mouth to silence him as the trio floated into the bakery’s kitchen, where the Cake family was sitting down to dinner. “Aw, now how could you not like that,” Pinkie Pie said. “See how happy being together on Hearth’s Warming has made everypony?” “Well, mostly together at any rate,” Discord said, prompting a quizzical look from Moonwhisper. Before he could ask Discord what that was supposed to mean, there was a slight commotion down below as Pound and Pumpkin Cake started to fuss. “Oh, what’s the matter, gingersnaps?” Mrs. Cake asked she tried calming the two foals. Unsurprisingly, neither toddler provided an intelligible answer, but Pumpkin proved a clue as she stretched out her hooves towards a pink-frosted cupcake. “Pinkah,” Pumpkin plaintively gurgled as she reached for the treat. “That’s right, Pumpkin. That color is ‘pink’,” Carrot Cake said encouragingly, trying to distract his daughter from ruining her appetite with an impromptu lesson in colors. “Actually, dear, I think Pumpkin might be missing Pinkie Pie,” Cupcake said as she watched her daughter closely. “The frosting on that cupcake does kind of look like Pinkie’s mane if look at it from the right angle, and it does feel like it’s been a while shing Pinkie’s been around the store. What exactly has she been up to, lately?” “Oh, it’s some friendship something or other, you know how those things are,” Cupcake replied. “I can never follow exactly what Pinkie and her friends do, but it’s always for the good of everypony, its best to just give her the space she needs, even if we miss her sometimes.” “It really is selfless, what you’re doing,” Discord said as they listened to the Cakes’ conversation. “You could have been spending time celebrating the holidays with all your friends and family, but instead you’re here with us, working to save the holiday for everypony else.” As Discord spoke he snapped his claws, summoning dozens of windows showing various scenes of Pinkie’s loved ones all enjoying the holidays without her. While Pinkie took all this in, Moonwhisper finally saw his chance. “I see it now! Oh, what a fool I have been, but now I see the true beauty of the Hearth’s Warming holiday!” Moonwhisper cried, out, throwing a hoof to his forehead in a display that even Rarity would have criticized as overdramatic. Thankfully, Pinkie was far too distracted by the images Discord had conjured to question this sudden victory. “You do? That’s great! Well, I’ll let you go and enjoy the holiday and stuff then. Um, Discord? Could you maybe…” “Leaving so soon. Well, if you insist. Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of the rest of our business here.” With a snap of Discord’s claws, Pinkie Pie vanished and Moonwhisper and Discord teleported to a spot high above Ponyville. “I suppose I should thank you for your assistance,” Moonwhisper said after a few moments passed. “Showing Pinkie Pie what she was missing by focusing on her ridiculous holiday rescue efforts might have been the only way to get through to her.” “Well, if you want to thank me, why don’t you join me for a little Hearth’s Warming caroling? I think Trotsylvania is particularly lovely this time of year.” Moonwhisper started at Discord’s suggestion, until the implications of bringing the Spirit of Chaos to Trotsylvania slowly started to sink in. “I don’t suppose you’d be able to bring a full group of yourselves along?” Moonwhisper asked, an evil grin slowly spreading across his features. “If we’re going to be visiting Penumbral Dusk, I’ll want to make sure he receives the full Hearth’s Warming experience.” “But of course,” the half-dozen or so Discords now standing in front of Moonwhisper answered. “And I hope you don’t mind, but we’re going to absolutely insist on starting things off with the ‘Twelve Days of Hearth’s Warming’. Every. Last. Verse.” Moonwhisper let out a malevolent chuckle. “Now that sounds like an excellent way to celebrate the holiday.” *********