//------------------------------// // Solar Scouts Save The Day! // Story: Stitched // by Jest //------------------------------// Twilight stared off into space, the now undisguised mare appearing rather dejected in her dead friend’s eyes. “A bit for your thoughts,” Rarity metaphorically offered, as she had no money on her person. “Maybe I do need to reexamine my biases,” Twilight remarked. “Or you could just get out more,” Rarity countered. “I’d say you should join Pinkie Pie and I on our monthly excursion to the clubs, but I don't think I’ll be doing much of that anytime soon.” “Yeah, not really much point in drinking,” Twilight exclaimed. Rarity wished her eyebrows were still attached so she may lift one of them in order to better show how quizzical she was. The mare, still disguised as a donkey, decided instead to just sigh and hope Twilight got her meaning. “Is there a reason you are still disguised as me?” Rarity asked her fake duplicant. “I don't want any undue princess attention, and I like looking pretty,” Twilight replied. Rarity faked her best sigh. “You know you are already pretty. You don't need to look like me.” “Just take it as a compliment,” Twilight exclaimed. Rarity brushed aside her friend’s strangeness and focused her attention straight ahead. Together they walked on in relative silence, enjoying the quiet evening and the stunning vista of the distant setting sun. So distracted by Equestria at Twilight that the pair were barely even aware of their immediate surroundings. Rarity was inspired, and imagining dresses, while Twilight was wondering if she could turn her recent experience into a friendship lesson. Then thought better of it, because the ultimate lesson kind of made her look like at best a moron, and at worst a bigot. Emerging out onto the street from the narrow confines of an alley at the top of a hill, they did not notice that two foals were lying in wait. One was nearby and leaped out from cover in order to shove Twilight, still disguised as Rarity, forward. Where her stumbling hooves found four rollerskates perfectly aligned so the glamoured alicorn landed atop them. “Got her, ready the box!” shouted Blue Tumbler. “Woah, what, in the hay?” Twilight muttered. Rarity moved to stop the first filly from fleeing but found that she was already gliding down the street. Hooves gripping a bent piece of metal, the young mare nearly vanished out of sight, zipping down a zipline. Just ahead of her, Twilight had regained enough of her bearings to try and turn but found that each pair of rollerskates was bound together by a metal bar. “Wait a second. I have magic,” Twilight exclaimed, suddenly quite proud of herself for remembering something that should be unforgettable. Her plan to simply teleport away was thwarted quite perfectly when a thick iron band was dropped over her horn. Magic now cut off, Twilight began to wobble on her skates, nearly toppling over. Thankfully a certain yellow filly was there to catch her, or at least catch her in the broadest sense of the word. As instead of ensuring that the disguised alicorn did not fall over, she merely flipped a wooden box over. Right in Twilight's path, there was no way for the already woozy mare to avoid the sudden obstacle before her. With a thump, the alicorn slammed into the back of the container and went limp, vanishing from sight when the top was dropped into place. Both fillies then hammered several nails into the box and flipped it over using a pulley system attached to the sign overhead. The wooden advert proudly displayed the name of the inn nearby, one that went by ‘Over A Barrel’. There was an odd bit of comical irony there, but Rarity didn't have the presence of mind to enjoy it at the moment. “Stop, pony nappers!” Rarity shouted. “Zombies aren't people!” yelled Blue Tumbler. Who received a hoof upside the head. “Argue with the zombie lover later. We gotta move!” “Right,” Blue Tumbler muttered. With a quick twist and a yank, the box was hefted up onto their backs, nearly dropping the pair to their knees. “Wow she is really heavy,” Sunny Pies murmured. “I didn't think a zombie would weigh this much,” Blue Tumbler added. Still several blocks away, Rarity cursed her refusal to learn teleportation from Twilight when she had the chance. She made a mental note to remedy that soon, provided Twilight survived, though that ship may have already sailed. “She's not a zombie, drop her!” Rarity yelled. “The solar scouts know a zombie when they see one!” Retorted Blue Tumbler. “Quiet, focus on running!” berated her companion. “Stop, we can talk about this!” Rarity shouted. The fillies ignored Rarity and began to sprint off down the street, the pair running in lockstep, their payload laying inert on their backs. “Why aren't you fighting back?” Rarity muttered. The disguised lich made a note to get Twilight some self defense courses, or at least teach her how to flail wildly. Anything would have been a marked improvement over the seemingly unconscious pony trapped within the wooden box. Rarity had at least a little pity for her friend though and assumed she had been knocked out when her face slammed into the ground. “Stop, she's princess Twilight!” Rarity shouted. Her fumbling, mostly decayed hooves did not exactly aid her in this matter. Add to that how hard it was to run inside her cramped costume, and it was a bit of a shocker that she hadn't tripped yet. As if jinxed by some omnipotent entity narrating her misadventures, one of Rarity’s hooves hit a loose cobblestone. “Bwah!” she yelled. Toppling end over end, Rarity slammed into the ground with enough force to make her donkey mask nearly come loose. Only a bit of magic kept the thing from flying off and revealing that the meat around her neck had sloughed off in the chaos. It joined the majority of Rarity’s remaining guts and blood in the bottoms of the costume, making the hooves bloat. Each slogging hoof step was punctuated by a wet slop, slowing Rarity down even further. “Stars above, what is wrong with my luck today?” Rarity murmured. Looking around, Rarity found that the streets were relatively empty, and the city seemed abandoned. Caught between when everyone came home from work, and when they left to enjoy the nightlife, the roads were mostly free of traffic. Thankfully a random cabbage merchant stepped out in front of the fillies, causing them to slow down briefly. “I’m not going to catch up like this,” Rarity remarked to herself. Looking around, Rarity located a sewer grate between a pair of unponied stalls on the right hand of the road. Awkwardly trundling over there, Rarity raised a leg and cut open the bottom of the costume with her magic. Congealed blood, bits of rotten meat, and hunks of flesh tumbled out of the opening, falling into the sewer, inadvertently making a sanitation worker’s day very very unpleasant. After repeating this motion three more times, and nearly losing a hoof in the process, Rarity sewed up the openings. Thankful that her anti-smell enchantment remained intact, the fashionista swiftly continued the chase. Now unburdened by the majority of her body weight, Rarity was able to catch up relatively quickly. Unfortunately for her, the fillies had quite a lead and were nearly a full city block ahead of their pursuer. Weaving in and out of the few ponies which dotted the street, they made a beeline out of the district. Far ahead, nearly on the horizon, lay a set of city gates, beyond which glimmered Canterlot Castle. “Wait, Solar Scouts, zombie…” Rarity groaned. “I know where they are going.” Ahead, the two fillies ran on, their confidence growing with each second they were not harangued by their pursuer. Though they did not mentally use the word harangued as they were in middle school and were not pretentious writers flexing their expansive vernacular. Regardless of how they formulated such a thought, they were relieved when the weird misshapen donkey wasn't yelling at them anymore. “Do you think she was right, and that this isn't a zombie?” Sunny Pies exclaimed, glancing out of the corner of her eye. At her profusely sweating, panting, and utterly disheveled companion, who between gulps of air managed to say. “If she wasn't a zombie why did she collapse when we put the ring on her?” “I mean I guess, but she could just be a really powerful unicorn,” Sunny Pies retorted. “Also, why are you so exhausted? I thought you said you were jogging every morning.” “I just said that so you’d stop making me watch poke mans. That show is terrible,” Blue Tumbler replied. “How dare you! We are going to have a very long talk about lying once we drop this zombie off at the castle,” Sunny Pies declared. Blue Tumbler wondered briefly if her friend was actually twelve years old like she always said she was, or if she had been twelve for a long time. That last thought was pushed out of mind relatively quickly and was replaced by a mental reminder for the filly to read less fanfiction. Advice that she was going to forget later, as she was a true patron of the arts, and partook in as much fanfiction as her little heart desired. The rest of their trek was relatively quiet, with the only sound being a few ignored questions leveled by curious adults. Inquiries into what they were doing, what they were doing, and “what's in the box man, what's in the box?” were brushed aside. They had important matters to attend to, such as fulfilling their duty to both princess and country. A duty that they definitely did not giggle at the thought of, as they were grown-ups who didn't find such toilet humor amusing. If they were at home, out of the public eye, they would have totally laughed though, as let's face it, duty is a funny word. Either way, they made their way up to the castle and approached the main gate, box still resting across their withers. “Well, what do we have here, hmm? A delivery for the castle I take it?” remarked the lone royal guard stationed outside. Identical to all the others of his station, the male had a tall, white horn and a spear resting against his shoulder. “We’ve caught a zombie,” Sunny Pies declared. “Yeah, totally,” Blue Tumbler added between gasps. “No they have not,” stated the still-disguised donkey Rarity, who stepped out from a nearby alleyway and walked over to them. “In fact, they have stolen away princess Twilight Sparkle herself.” “Pfft, princess Twilight isn't a zombie. Also, I know what she looks like. I have a poster of her above my bed,” Blue Tumbler proclaimed, only to blush. “Err I mean, my sister does.” “Tumbler, don't lie to the guard,” Sunny Pies hissed. “Augh, fine it's my poster,” Blue Tumbler whined. “That doesn't really matter, but okay,” murmured the guard. “Would you please free my friend? I’m fairly certain she’s suffered a head injury or two in that box of yours,” Rarity pressed. “Yeah, why don't you show us this zombie of yours,” added the soldier. The fillies glanced at one another and nodded. “Alright, mister but you better cover your nose, she smells worse than that donkey over there,” Blue Tumbler declared. “Not like I think all donkeys smell bad- oof.” An elbow to the gut stopped the filly from inserting her hoof too deep into her own metaphorical mouth. “Right, one sec,” Blue Tumbler muttered. The two fillies maneuvered out from under the box, lowered it to the ground, and let it drop the last inch or two with a thump. They then took a step back, allowing Rarity to use her magic to pry off the top, revealing an unconscious Twilight Sparkle with her tongue sticking out. Eyes rolled back in their sockets, it wasn't immediately apparent if the alicorn was even breathing. “Oh my gosh, it really was Twilight Sparkle!” Blue Tumbler shouted. “We are so gonna get thrown in the dungeon for this.” “I told you this was a bad idea!” Sunny Pies added. Rarity ignored the quarreling fillies, and reached down, plucking the iron ring from her friend’s horn. The moment it was no longer in the way, Twilight gasped, and began to cough violently, spitting a wad of phlegm at Rarity. Thankfully the disguised corpse was able to step out of the way at the last moment, saving her already shredded dignity from one last indignity. “What the hay happened and where am I?” Twilight murmured. “Blue Tumbler pony napped you! I had nothing to do with it!” Sunny Pies shouted. “What, you're the one who came up with the rollerblade trap!” Blue Tumbler retorted. “But they were your rollerblades!” Sunny Pies yelled back. “Girls, girls, relax. Let Twilight gather her bearings,” interrupted the guard. “You were pony napped, and brought to the castle,” Rarity explained. “Oh right, those solar knights were there,” Twilight murmured, clutching her head. “I thought I had them disbanded when I became a princess.” “They changed their name and are more of a community advocacy group centered on teaching young fillies essential life skills,” offered the guard, with a smile. “How did you know that?” Rarity asked. “My little one is a solar scout ranger,” the guard’s grin widened, nearly bursting with fatherly pride. “Has nearly every badge there is.” “Wait, your daughter is Prissy Pants?” Blue Tumbler asked. “Your questionable choice of names aside, I believe as though some manner of punishment is in order,” Rarity interjected, choosing to not mention that the poor kid’s name abbreviated to P. Pants. Twilight cleared her throat, and awkwardly untangled her limbs, rising out of the crate. “I think you both should write me a friendship report on what you learned here today,” Twilight proclaimed, raising a hoof to cut off the flood of thanks that was about to drown the alicorn. “And I want you to inform your parents as to what happened.” “Oh absolutely,” Blue Tumbler lied. “We’ll definitely do that,” Sunny Pies added, the filly lying just as poorly as her companion. “Steve here will make sure of that, won't you Steve?” Twilight asked, turning to the guard. “Oh uh yeah. Totally,” he awkwardly declared. The two fillies sighed, the pair realizing that they weren't about to get away with it anymore. “Well that could be… worse,” Blue Tumbler muttered. Twilight lurched forward suddenly, her gaze narrowing. “But if your report is not up to snuff or I hear about you pony-napping anyone else, I’m going to banish you to the moon. Got it?” “Yes ma’am!” the pair shouted. “Good, now you better start writing because it's due by tomorrow!” Twilight yelled. The duo yelped, and ran off, leaving a snickering Twilight behind. “It was nice seeing you Steve, say hi to the missus for me,” Twilight remarked before walking away. “Err of course. Goodnight ma’am,” Steve murmured. Rarity was quick to catch up with Twilight as she walked away from the castle and back towards Canterlot’s center. “I’m not sure I agree with you scaring them like that,” Rarity remarked. Twilight snorted. “They got off lucky.” “Still, that was a bit heartless, don't you think?” Rarity inquired. Twilight stopped abruptly, and turned to her deceased friend, eyes blazing brightly. “You take that back right now,” demanded the alicorn. “Now Twilight, even you must admit-” Rarity began. “I said. Take it back,” Twilight repeated. For a moment Rarity was convinced she could feel her heart suddenly begin beating, even though it was at that very moment, being chewed on by a rat somewhere in Canterlot sewer. “I’m sorry,” Rarity replied almost automatically. “I take it back.” Twilight sighed. “Let's just… go back to the boutique okay? We pick up the search tomorrow after we’ve had a chance to clean you down to your bones.” “Right,” Rarity reluctantly agreed. Eying her friend in a new, and slightly darker light (both literally and figuratively, as the sun had very nearly set at that point), Rarity found herself perturbed. Something was clearly the matter with Twilight, but Rarity couldn't quite put her hoof on it, and this time the thing hadn't fallen off so she couldn't even use that excuse.