//------------------------------// // III – Chorus // Story: Closer // by Avery Day //------------------------------// { Chorus 1 } By now, I had resigned myself to the fact that I’d have dark circles under my eyes for the rest of my life, but as I stared in the bathroom mirror, I couldn’t help but notice how bad they were now. Hopefully, they would lighten up after a few good nights of sleep. Leaning forward, I splashed my face with cold water, foolishly hoping it would make me more alert. The energy I felt after getting off the plane had long since faded, and now that we were at Twilight’s apartment, it was a struggle to remain standing for longer than a few minutes. That didn’t matter, though. We had a limited time together, and I was determined to make the most of it while I was here, exhaustion be damned. After finishing up in the bathroom, I entered her living room, taking a spot next to Twilight on the loveseat she sat on. Her thumbs rapidly tapped at her phone screen for a few seconds before standing up and entering the kitchen. “Coffee’s almost done,” she called out. “Black still your favorite?” “Yeah,” I called back. As I waited for Twilight to bring us coffee, my eyes wandered around her living room. It didn’t look all that different from the last time I was here. She still had the same big screen TV in the middle of her entertainment center, the layer of dust over it giving me an impression of how much it had gone unused over the last few months. Below that were all of her game consoles and a few I left here before I moved away. Books lined the black cubicle shelves next to her TV—some packed together so tightly they looked impossible to remove. The books on these shelves were only a fraction of her entire collection, but they were still immaculately organized. The left side looked less tidy but still organized uniquely. Some shelves were dedicated to video game cases, all sorted by console. Others had figures sitting on them—some from things I remember watching with her, some I’d never seen before, some I didn’t remember seeing the last time I was here. The sound of Twilight placing a mug down on the coffee table in front of me snapped me out of the stupor I didn’t even realize I’d fallen into. “You’re the best, babe,” I said, reaching forward and taking a sip from the mug. Twilight giggled, curling up in the seat next to me, taking a sip of her coffee before placing it on the table. “Honestly, I wasn’t sure if you were awake at first.” “Of course I was!” I playfully snapped. “Right. I’m sure you’re brimming with energy after six months of touring and two days of constant traveling,” she prodded. Looking down at my mug, I realized I’d already drank through half of it even while it was still piping hot. Okay, so maybe she had a point. “Hey, five months and seventeen days, thank you.” I took a sip of my coffee, pointing at her before placing it down. “I would have thought you, out of anyone, would know exactly how long it’d been.” Twilight playfully rolled her eyes, taking another sip of her coffee. “One-hundred and sixty-nine days and eleven hours.”  All I could do was stare at her. I wanted to smile but couldn’t bring one out of me. It was frustrating. The fact that she kept a tally of exactly how many days—how many hours—we’d been apart was incredibly endearing. At the same time, even though obsessive quantification was her thing, I couldn’t imagine her keeping count for any reason other than the fact that she missed me that badly. And I’d subjected her to that feeling for over a hundred and fifty days. All for a career path I wasn’t even sure I liked. Whatever the case, I didn’t waste any more time thinking about that than I had to. Placing my mug on the table, I looked over at Twilight. Her eyes were wandering awkwardly around the room. I couldn’t help but smile. Even though we’d been together since high school, there was always a difficult adjustment period for her after we spent time apart. Judging by how much she fidgeted around in place, she wanted to be more physically affectionate than she was willing to say. “You know,” I began, “you don’t have to sit all the way over there.” Twilight didn’t respond verbally. Our eyes met briefly before her gaze wandered around the room again, her face breaking out into a light blush. Reaching her hand up, she twirled a lock of her hair with her finger. Scooting closer, I draped my arm around her and pulled her close. In an instant, she dropped every bit of apprehension she’d been carrying. She curled her body into my embrace, her arms wrapped tightly around me, face nuzzling into my chest. My hands gently rubbed her back as my chin rested on her head. The scent of her shampoo wafted into my nose as I kissed the top of her head several times. It had almost been six months since we were in this position last, but those months felt like an eternity. Nothing ever prepared me for how wonderfully warm her affection made me feel. Being apart for so long was always hard; how good it felt to be in each other’s arms after that fact almost made it all feel worth it. Almost. My hand fell into the same rhythm as her breath as I gently rubbed her back. Resting my cheek against her head, I closed my eyes. I was just so happy there. I knew she had so much planned for us to do while I was there, but I would have been satisfied if we had spent the next ten days doing only this. “Hey,” I heard her say, “why don’t we get in bed?” “Huh? Why?” I asked. She giggled. “Well, you fell asleep on me for ten minutes, and I’m still pretty tired, too.” My face burned in embarrassment. From my perspective, I’d only blinked. “You sure, though? I figured with this being my first day back, you’d want to get started on whatever plans you made.” “I would, but considering how your last tour went, I also planned around you needing a recovery day,” she replied. “So if we sleep the day away, it won’t interfere with anything.” I opened my mouth to respond, but I stopped myself. At first, I was going to suggest that I could power through it. After all, we had a limited time together, and I knew she wouldn’t want to waste a single moment. But as I looked down at her, I couldn’t bring myself to say anything. She understood our time was short. It’d do neither of us any good to remind her of that fact. And she was right—even with the brief nap on the plane, I was still exhausted. With a deep breath, I stood up, letting her lead us to her dimly lit bedroom. We both entered, her closing the door behind me. The moment my eyes landed on her bed—the first comfortable looking one I'd seen in months—I began to strip without even thinking about it. As I tossed my shirt onto the floor, I looked at Twilight. Her gaze turned elsewhere, and a noticeable blush splashed across her face. “You don’t mind, do you?” I asked half-jokingly. She looked over at me, the blush getting even deeper. “N-No! Of course not! Why would I?” She chuckled sheepishly. “Don’t worry, I get it,” I assured. “My diet while touring has been pretty shit, and I’m sure it shows.” “Wha– no! What are you talking about? You’re still just as hot– I mean–” “Twi," I interrupted, "I’m messing with you." “R-Right, sorry,” She responded with a tinge of melancholy. “I-I’m… Sorry for still getting like this. I know, we’ve been together since high school, and I know I shouldn’t still be like this, and–” Once again, I interrupted her, this time with an action instead of words. I wrapped her in a surprise hug, holding her close. “Breathe for me, okay?” I comforted. “It’s all okay. You know I don’t mind. Like, do you realize how much of an ego boost it is that I still get you just as flustered as when we were in high school?” She hugged me back, whining in embarrassment as I held her. “Besides, do you have any idea how cute it is?” She hid her face in my chest and hugged me even tighter. Looking behind me, I slowly guided her over to the bed. With her face still buried in me, I started leaning backward until we both fell onto her bed. “Wh– Ahh!” Twilight stopped hugging me, trying to move her arms to catch us before falling. Thankfully, all that was behind us was the bed. As I let go of her, she playfully scowled at me.  “You are actually the worst,” she complained. “I know,” I said, laughing as I got comfortable on one side of the bed. Twilight got back up from the bed, quickly undressing herself before crawling across me on the bed to take the side next to me. I turned to face Twilight, ready to grab and hold her like I did on the couch. Before I could, however, she moved in on me. Her arms wrapped around me, her embrace gently guiding my head to her chest this time. As I felt the warmth of her bare skin against my cheek, every muscle in my body began to melt. She was softer and warmer than any pillow or blanket I’d ever felt, just as she was before I’d left. I squeezed my arms around her waist, which caused her to squeak. Giggling, I nuzzled my cheek against her chest and neck, her cheek nuzzling the top of my head in response. The room was nearly silent. The only things I could hear were the droning hum of her PC sitting on her desk nearby, the slow, soothing sound of her breath flowing in and out, and the low tempo of her heartbeat right next to my ear. As I relaxed into her embrace, a mix of physical and mental sensations washed over me. My mind was too exhausted to keep up with anything, and in just a few short moments, I was overwhelmed by feelings I found impossible to describe. Trying to push these thoughts out of my head, I hugged Twilight tighter. Finally getting a chance to relax in bed with her after so long was supposed to be a happy moment, but my mind threatened to revolt against that notion. We were finally back together; I should have been elated, so why was I suddenly struggling not to break? What was wrong with me? “Sunny?” Twilight’s voice was soft as she ran her fingers through my hair. I pulled back from her chest until my eyes met hers, a half-lidded stare and a serene smile adorning her face. “It’s okay,” she said. There was a brief exchange between my heart and mind when I heard those words. My mind couldn’t understand what she meant. What did she mean? What was okay? Why did she feel the need to tell me this? Maybe my mind didn’t know the answers to those questions, but my heart knew what to do. My breath hitched, and my brow tensed as I shut my eyes tight. One moment, I was fine; the next, tears poured out of my eyes. I tried to control myself for a few desperate seconds, but once I started sobbing, I couldn’t stop. “It’s okay,” Twilight repeated in an even more hushed tone, her embrace tightening. Her grip was still loose, but it felt like she was trying to wring the emotions out of me. Even though I’d never told her, sometimes it was the only way to get them out of me, and I could tell she knew that. In the years since high school, crying had become a challenge. I’d only get as far as choking up, but my body would make me physically incapable of shedding even a tear. I could only ever do it when I felt like I was in a safe place, and the criteria for what constituted as safe was ever-changing and, even when met, could be ephemeral. And I’d been holding onto that for six months. Six months. Six long, arduous, strenuous, lonely months away from home. Away from the comfort of her warm, welcoming embrace. Away from the kind and gentle reassurance she made me feel. Away from Twilight. Still, that was something I could think about later. Even if I was unable to stop the torrent of emotions coming out of me, I was still so happy. Crying in the dark wasn't how I thought I would begin this visit, but I welcomed it. I was as content to let it all out as she was to hold me until I stopped. And once I had, I drifted into the most restful sleep I'd had in months.