//------------------------------// // Chapter 6 // Story: Firebox Hearts // by Mystic Mind //------------------------------// One month later, Spike had settled into his new normal. The miniature railway had become a modest tourist attraction, which, to Twilight’s relief, drew enough attention away from her Castle to allow her some peace and quiet. As for the volunteer roster, not much had changed. One pony—a green-coated, non-binary unicorn whose name Spike could never seem to remember—and one hippogriff had joined with their own engines, adding an extra service on the weekends. The line was long enough to allow for two engines operating at one time, but with the additional traffic came the complication of signaling. Thankfully, Yona and Sandbar offered to help in this regard. While neither were engineers of any sort, their attentiveness and preference for quiet spaces made them ideal signal box attendees. All they had to do was swap block tokens with the drivers, which allowed safe passage through either track section. After that, the signals could be set to danger until the next train came along to repeat the process.  Because of this, Everfree Park halt became their favorite dating destination on slower days. As for Spike himself, he’d spent every chance he got at the railway. Most of the time, he was either cleaning engines or acting as the train’s conductor. New carriages had been built and delivered for the October season, fully enclosed so they could be operated in all weather conditions. Igniting a small pile of wood to get the fire going, Spike carefully covered the firebox’s grate floor with small lumps of coal. Of the many things Smoulder had taught him, the firing mantra of ‘little but often’ had been drilled into his brain from the start. If any engine was to get a full head of steam, then every inch of the firebox needed covering, as anything less would be wasteful. With one engine warming up, he turned his attention to cleaning the other. He’d helped to drain the boiler the previous evening, so now that it was nice and cool, he picked up a long, thin brush and opened the smokebox door at the front, setting about cleaning the boiler tubes of any accumulated ash and grime. He was halfway done when he heard the familiar hiss of a locomotive reversing into the yard. “Hey, Spike,” said Smoulder. “Welcome back,” he waved back at her.  In the time they’d been working together, their bond had gone from strength to strength. She never pushed him to talk about his feelings, but her patience and open mind had been instrumental in mending Spike’s broken heart. Piece by piece, he’d opened, sharing everything that had gone into his crush on Rarity. Whatever life threw at him, he could always return to Smoulder, using the railway as shelter from any emotional storm. Yet through all their conversations, something had been simmering in the back of his mind – a question he didn’t yet know how to express. Much like his interest in steam locomotives, it had started off as a general curiosity from an outsider’s perspective. But the more he’d hung around Smoulder and her friends, the more pervasive the question had become. But first, he decided it best to prioritize operational discussions. “Everything okay with the engine?” “Yep, running nice and smooth. The tender just needs a coal refill. How are things on your end?” “Eh, pretty routine. Bellerophon’s smoke box is extra dirty, but that’s about it.” “Well, that’s Terramar’s locomotive. I’ll talk to him about his firing skills, ‘cause I have a hunch he’s using too much coal. It’s not causing you any trouble, is it?” “Nah. Cleaning takes a little longer, but otherwise, it’s no problem. Although, there is something I’ve been wondering about…” “Hmm? What’s up?” “It’s not train related, but, well, y’know how Sandbar is a trans colt, but still likes all the hyper-feminine stuff?” “Uh…” Smoulder blanked, and blinked. “...yeah? What about him?” “Well, it’s not about her— I mean, him. I mean…” Pursing his lips, Spike closed his eyes. Just when he thought he was making progress in a new friendship, he had to start tripping over his words and misgendering. “I think I’m non-binary.” Silence. Had this been a bad time, after all? “I—”  “Is that all?” Smoulder answered at last. Spike opened his eyes and saw she was smiling. “Come here you!” Grabbing Spike by the shoulder, she pulled him in for a tight hug. Relieved, Spike reciprocated, letting out a relaxed sigh. “I thought you were crushing on Sandbar, and that woulda been so awkward. Do you wanna talk about it, or did ya just want to come out to me and move on?” “I would like to talk about it, yeah. I just don’t know if I qualify.” “What do you mean by ‘qualify?’” Smoulder eased off. “The thing is, like, I know Ocellus is gender fluid since, like all changelings, she can transform how she looks in an instant. I also know that Sandbar likes to be super feminine even though he’s male. But me? I’ve always just been me. Twilight never called me anything other than a boy, but never said I should only ‘act’ like a boy, either.” Letting go, Smoulder climbed into Sleipnir’s cab and gestured for Spike to join her. “Well, just ‘cause your personality ain’t a hundred-per cent masculine, doesn’t mean you have to be non-binary,” she continued.  “Like, I’m bigender, and I mostly like masculine stuff, but cutesy, feminine junk like tea parties is cool, sometimes. That’d be the same if I was a boy or a girl.” “That’s kind of how I feel, but I dunno what it even means to have a gender in the first place. It’s not something I thought about until spending time with you guys. Like, Garble always teased me for being into ‘Prissy pony stuff’, but if being a dragon meant I had to be a jerk like him, I’d rather be a pony any day. That got me thinking; how much of being me is about being girly, if that makes sense?” Smoulder nodded. “It does. You’ve never deliberately tried to be one gender or another. You just have new words to describe it, right?” “Yeah, exactly.” Spike smiled. “So, I don’t wanna have to choose between being male or female. I want to be me. I’d rather keep it simple, y’know? Is there a word for that?” “Oh, there’s plenty. But based on what your description, I’d guess you’re something called ‘agender.’” “Yeah, I think that fits! I’m agender.” Placing his claws over his chest, Spike let out a long, slow breath. “It feels good to say that out loud. Thanks, pal. You’re the best.” “Hey, what are friends for?” Leaning forward in her seat, Smoulder opened the firebox door and peeked inside. “Y’know, that gives me an idea.” “An idea? What kind?” “You’ve been working so hard with all the dirtiest jobs, so how about a little treat? Your first engine-driving lesson!” Spike opened his mouth to object, but immediately closed it, biting his lip instead. From what he’d read, it took years for railway workers to become qualified enough to fire an engine, let alone drive it. Then again, he’d poured so much time and energy into understanding these machines inside and out, so why not give it a go? He’d be under Smoulder’s direct supervision, anyway. “No pressure if you’d prefer not,” she said gently, sensing his anxiety. “I… think I’d like to try. Maybe just to the water tower.” “Sounds good for a first try. Refilling the tender won’t take long, so we’ll be ready to roll before you know it.” Spike’s heart thumped loudly in his chest. If only he could silence those annoying insects that were his intrusive thoughts. Smoulder trusted him, and given the correct information, he knew Twilight would, too.  “You okay, Spike?” Smoulder asked as she began shoveling coal. “You’re looking pale.” Spike nodded but didn’t say anything.  “Lemmie guess. First-time nerves, right?” “Yeah.” Spike gulped. “Sorry. I know I’m kind of a downer.” “Pfft, nothing to be sorry for! Everyone gets cold feet on their first day. Trust me, I wouldn’t let you touch the controls if I didn’t have faith in ya.” Spike sighed, letting the words sink in. In truth, he’d been dreaming of this moment; the only reason he never asked was a lack of confidence. He’d been second-guessing himself so much these days, over… what? To avoid the pitfalls of overconfidence, did he need to beat himself up so much?  “All right,” Smoulder said as she climbed back into the cab. “Here’s what’s gonna happen: I’ll handle the breaks and stuff, while you’ll focus on the regulator and the reversing rod. With me so far?” Again, Spike nodded. “First, you need to put the reversing rod in the full forward position. Grab the handle, press down, and push it to the bottom notch facing the boiler.” A simple enough start. This, at least, he couldn’t possibly break. “Now, when I release the breaks, you’re gonna put one claw on the throttle and gently tap it open with the other.” Spike steeled himself. Here it was, the most delicate part of the whole operation. Too much steam going through at once, and the wheels would slip. Placing his left claw on top, he wriggled the horizontal strip of metal, feeling the resistance. I can do this, I can do this, I can do this. Sounding the whistle, he listened carefully for the hiss of the releasing engine breaks. Then, claw still clutched tightly on the regulator, he tapped it open once, twice, three times. Slowly, Sleipnir lurched into life, its eight, mighty driving wheels squealing as it rounded the sharp bend. “That’s it, nice and gentle. Now ease off a little. We’ll only need a little bit to keep this baby going.” Every muscle in his body was tense. The engine was moving slowly, but he knew from memory how much it could accelerate. With a firm tug, he pulled the regulator shut, then wiggled it until only the tiniest portion of steam was getting through to the cylinders. “Keep it steady, and… that’s it! You can close the throttle completely now.” As Sleipnir rolled to a gentle stop, Spike slumped back, wiping the sweat from his brow. “Now that’s what I call a first run! Way to go, buddy.” Giggling, Smoulder gave him a heavy pat on the back. “You’re a natural. Seriously, I’m proud of you. Keep this up, and you’ll be a fully qualified engineer in no time.”   Pulling the reverser back to the neutral slot, Spike stood up and took a deep breath through his nose, letting the potent whiff of rising exhaust steam fill his nostrils. He had done it. If only Twilight could see him now. “Uh-oh.” “Huh? What’s up?” “Today’s the day of Twilight’s visit! I completely forgot!” “Well, then.” Smoulder grinned, an expression he had come to recognise as her ‘cunning plan’ face. “What better way to show her what you’ve learned than driving to the platform?” “Yes!” Pumping his fist to the sky, Spike felt his heart swell. At long last, he was rising above the pit of depression, and he had Smoulder to thank for it. At that moment, he felt like he could kiss her. Oh no…