//------------------------------//
// Stay out of her fridge! 
// Story: Why am I Angel Bunny?! 
// by Wiggidy 
//------------------------------//

I woke up and stretched real good. The first thing I noticed was that I was in a big soft fuzzy bed. Which was probably the best bed I'd ever slept in, which didn't make sense because I had a 20 year old box spring that felt like shit. 

I curiously opened an eye. And, somehow, I wasn't at home. I laid there for a second before remembering the events that played out yesterday.
Oh, right. I wasn't on Earth anymore. Now I was chillin like a villain in Fluttershy's cottage. I let out a groan and sat up. Damn, I was thirsty. So, doing what any normal person would do, I got up and searched for a sink or a fridge to satisfy my thirst. 
Before I go any farther, let me explain how rabbits walk. When grazing, they take super small steps with their legs. Their fore legs take either individual steps or step in pairs, and their hind legs are brought up together in a pair after they've taken steps with their forelegs. When running, they hop long distances using their rear legs like a launcher. Their fore legs are used as a kind of landing gear, because they always get a little bit of air time when they spring forward.
Now, let's pretend I didn't know this at the time and tried to walk upright like I'd done for my entire life before. As one could imagine, I fell and smacked onto the floor spread eagle. I laid there for a moment taking in my fail at walking, when I heard a muffled clip-clop sound coming from somewhere. Probably Fluttershy coming to check on the sudden noise. Figuring it would be better to let her come to me, I waited. And waited... And waited. I must've sat there for 10 minutes expecting something only to be greeted by absolutely nothing.
Eventually I got up again and set out to explore Fluttershy's house. It was just as the show depicted it: rather sparse with plenty of room for her animal friends. And boy, were there a few of em. Cats, dogs, birds, snakes, other various reptiles, insects... You name it, it was in her house. And every single one of them was in between me and the kitchen. Now I realize that they were just going on about their business (assuming animals HAVE a business to do), but at the time they all seemed to like to cut right in front of me. I had gotten cut off three times before I decided enough was enough. 
"All right! That's it! Everybody move the fuck out of my way!" I shouted. They looked at me for a moment before clearing a line between me and my destination. Abusing this newfound privilege, I made my way to the fridge without any other trouble and opened it. A vast collection of fruits and vegetables met my eyes like a drop of golden sun.
There were apples of the greatest size and color, lettuce heads literally as big as I was, carrots a head taller than I, various peppers that I could smell through their plastic wrappings, the most beautiful carrots I had ever seen, celery stalks that looked crisp and fresh, and some sweet...sweet...carrots. Oh my god, those carrots were the absolute PINNACLE of perfection. I HAD to have them! 
I slowly reached out to grab the stack of carrots. Slowly... Slowly... Must not disturb the delicate balance of the mana from the gods... *SLAM* The door slammed shut just as I was about to reach my prize. I twirled around, ready to give whoever just did that the ass whoopin' of their life.
"Hey! What the..." I trailed off. Before me stood the awesome might of the Fluttershy. Who, coincidentally, was looking rather cross right now.
"Angel Bunny, how many times do I have to tell you to stay out of the food! Your other friends need everything in there just as much as you do!" As she said so, I noticed the animals behind her suddenly get rather skittish. Why would they... Unless... 
Fuck.
My eyes widened as I looked into her face.
"I've told you time and time again, but you don't seem to listen. How am I going to get through to you?!" Her voice wasn't gaining volume or intensity, but I was scared all the same. For there, before my mortal eyes, was the dreaded Stare.
The Stare: whose dreaded intensity was enough to frighten a Manticore. The Stare: whose fearsome path reduced all inside it to a bumbling fool. I looked on in awe and fear (and a puddle of my own liquid wastes). My willpower seemed to melt away, and any thoughts I had quickly deteriorated. My very soul had disintegrated into ash under the most horrid of gazes.
I am not a religious man, but on that day, at that moment, I prayed.
"Celestia save me!" I gasped. Fluttershy's gaze gave the slightest of flickers, before intensifying two fold.
"So this is how I die..." I made my final comment and closed my eyes, fully expecting to be instantly de-atomized on the spot. 
It never came of course. I took a few deep breaths.
"Just make it quick, Fluttershy! I don't want a slow and painful death! I don't want a death at all! So just make it quick!" my request met no action.
"If you're gonna do it, just do it!" again, nothing.
"Okay, fine! Watch me beg for my pathetic life!" I got down low, drooping my ears to the floor and raising my paws together in a pleading motion.
"Pleeeaase don't kill me! I don't have a wife or kids! I don't have anything to leave behind! I never went skydiving! I never saw Venice!" My current strategy seemed to be working, as she was no longer giving me the accursed Stare. Now she was looking at me with a mix of concern and confusion.
"I wanna live! I WANNA LIIIVEE!!!" I broke down and started bawling. Literally, bawling. I haven't cried that hard since the time I broke my leg in third grade. And that's saying something. I was broken down for what felt like ever. As the tears escaped my eyes, I tried to make convincing arguments about why I should live. Mostly it was one long streak of unintelligible babble, with an occasional word thrown in. 
Some time ago, Fluttershy had taken me up into a hug. I was fiercely hugging back, staining her fur with my tears. After an hour of her warm and comforting embrace, I was now merely whimpering quietly into her fur. And I noticed she was humming a song to me, which actually was calming me much more effectively than when I had to collect my thoughts alone. I stared off into the distance.
"Fluttershy?" I asked in a quiet voice.
"Mm-hmm?"
"Sorry I broke down like that."
"No, I should be sorry. I only meant to get my point across. I didn't mean to go that far." We both sat their quietly.
Seeing as how now was a point of peace, my doucebag brain decided to work. It popped a single thought into my head.

You've been crying like a little bitch in front of Fluttershy for an hour. 
Aw, damn. Looks like I'm right. I HAD been crying like a little bitch. Dwelling on this, my situation was suddenly infinitely more awkward than before. I sat there for a minute before I realized that now I was probably severely dehydrated.
"Hey, Fluttershy? Can I get something to drink?" I asked.
"You already have a drinking bowl in the living room, silly." She gestured to the room I had just come from.
Son of a bitch.
"Are you fucking kidding me." I said in an exasperated tone. My word choice drew a gasp from Fluttershy.
"Angel Bunny!" I was about to ask what the big deal was, but Fluttershy had other plans. She yanked me up and dropped on her back, pinning me down with a wing. 
"Where are we going?!" I asked in confusion.
"We're going to wash out that bad word in the bathroom sink!"