CHECK-UP
Is it over? She isn’t moving. Did I win? She isn’t moving. That means I’ve won.
I start moving. Slowly at first, towards her body as she takes in ragged breaths. She’s facing me, but she isn’t moving. I see red, that means I’ve won. For a brief moment, I’m at a loss for words.
The moment passes. I’ve rehearsed this for decades.
“Thy arrogance and contentment hath blinded Thou, sister. Whilst thou basked and reveled in thy perfect daylight, convincing yourselves Thy perfect utopia was flawless, impunible, accepted and loved by any and all, I prepared for this den.” I approach the broken diarch at my hooves. Her blood is beginning to pool all around her, staining her pretentious and perfect white coat with the harsh reality of her ignorance. “The den whither the night couldst have its’ moment of glory, the night whither ponies of the night feared not the burn of daylight’s so-called justice!”
I feel that familiar, black rage rising, the rage and hate and turmoil for all that she had built. The feelings that gave me purpose, and fueled my ambitions for centuries past. For the first time, I let it come. I allow it to consume me, wholly and entirely, giving myself to the primal pleasure of my self-indulgence.
“Dear sister, this is the origin of a new Lunar Empire! Thy sun shall fall at my behest, and night shall reign supreme!”
“…luna.” I hear her call to me. My old name, my old calling. It only surges me forward, and I feel my mannerisms and consciousness slipping away as this new power takes hold.
“Thou hath enjoyed the love and admiration of our subjects alone for too long! Finally, I am victorious, dear sister! FINALLY, I WIN!” My voice is billowing, my mane and tail are a jet black hurricane, a manifestation of the power I’m finally allowing myself to wield, and it feels euphoric. There’s nothing I cannot achieve now, no foe I cannot best. With the Nightmare on my side, Equestria will-!
’Our side. On our side,’ I remind it. Of course, on our side. With you by my side, Equestria will be culled and prosper once more under moonlight eternal. A utopia for those once shunned! A perfect-
“… Lulu.”
I freeze. The voice cuts through the layers of hazy temptations like a blade of truth. A fury rises, then falls, replaced by regret, then fury once more. I stumble, and feel words that aren’t my own well up.
“You cannot have her!” I suddenly scream out, spitting my ire to the bloodied construct of deceit and lies dying before me. “She is mine, mine, and you are a threat to our plans.” Yes, that’s the best way, the right way.
I begin weaving a siphoning spell, and it comes effortlessly. The Nightmare does all the work for me, and I merely channel the power into it for her. ‘Things will be so much easier now that I have her helping me, guiding my hoof.’
The glowing feeling in my chest carries me forward, and I kneel low on my front two hooves, lowering my horn to hers. There’s a small golden spark of magic as she tries weaving a spell, but it’s too late. I siphon the magic as fast as she summons it, and the spell flickers and dies.
‘I can be happy if I replace Celestia, I’ll be happy with a new sister. Celestia never understood, never gave me a chance to win, but the Nightmare does.’
I can’t see straight, did she get her spell off after all? Was it a blinding spell? Lowfore’s Sickness or some other nausea inducing parting gift? It’s fine, I don’t need to be able to see for this. I close my eyes and establish a connection between our mana pools. Hers is dying quickly, and I begin harvesting it with nearly no resistance.
I flinch as I feel her blood pooling around my hooves. My regalia was damaged in the fight, both my forehooves now bare and stained by the red ichor pouring from her chest wound. It’s hard to see through the haze in my eyes, but I know it’s lethal. ‘What a horrible wound, who would do such an awful thing?’
‘We did what was necessary. We’re not a monster, she is.’ That familiar voice resonates from within, and I take heed. “It’s right, this was the only way. I’m not a monster. I won.” That's right. The Nightmare understands, it knows the pain I've felt. A hoof falls on top of mine, and I realize tears have been streaming down my face, obscuring my vision and pooling with sister’s blood.
“It’s okay, lulu. I forgive… you…” My sister stabs me in the heart, one last time.
Why? Why does she feel the need to do this, to twist the knife she’s plunged so deep into my chest? Even when I Finally succeed, I triumph, she finds a way to tear it away from me. The spell continues its’ work without my attention, the Nightmare holding it true for me, and I'm left to stare down at her with a hollow feeling of guilt rising up in my chest.
“Why?” I sputter out, resting my head against hers. It’s cold.
I snap my neck back and the red drains from my vision. She’s not breathing. A wingblade- my wingblade- is plunged two meters into her chest. I killed her.
The room is silent, and the tempest in my head has quelled. I hear my heart threatening to jump out of my chest and die next to hers, and once again I’m so, so very alone.
“No… No NO NO!” I scream, as loudly as I can. The room quakes, and for a moment I hope it collapses all around me and buries us both along with my transgressions.
Before I can let the Nightmare dissuade me again, to whisper its’ perfect nothings in my mind, I lurch forward to bite down hard on the heavy blade in Celestia’s chest, and pull. The sound is sickening, but I’ll have the rest of my immortal lifetime to get it out of my head.
This is right, this is the only way. She’ll move again. I don’t care if I win, this isn’t worth it. I’m not a monster.
I won’t be a monster.
I grit my teeth as I wrench back absolute control of my magic. The rage and hate and vengeance scream in protest, and a thousand little ponies buck back and forth across my mind, but I bear the burden and persist. I wrap the both of us in a barrier of my own making, sheltering us from the world until I make this right.
I take a deep breath, and reverse the flow of mana back into the faint ember that remains.
- - - -
The terminal velocity of an unladen pegasus is roughly 7.8 wingpower, raised to about 8.1 in Ponyville after removing multi-color outliers. This is about twice the speed your typical earth pony can traverse unobstructed ground, or about a time and a half faster than a draft mare on a mission. While wingpower isn't an accurate measurement of potential velocity for a unicorn, if used exclusively as a speed metric, a sufficiently powerful and trained one would rank in the range of 30 to 85 utilizing transpositional matter displacement magic. Or in laypony's terms, teleporting is so unbelievably fast it's basically cheating.
So why in Celestia's merciful skies can I not catch this pegasus?
I can't remember the seconds between Papers scowling at them and my horn whisking me away in pursuit, but this filly is fast. As in, she could be faster than Rainbow Dash fast. While I can outpace any pegasus or earth pony in a straight line over very small distances where stamina isn't a concern, a high-speed chase through town is hardly ideal conditions. On that same line of thought, I realize once she decides to go vertical I'll be a sitting duck. Rule one of teleporting, never teleport straight up. Why? Because Gravity sucks and loves to pull you straight back down, and without a casting charm, attempting to cast a feather-fall spell midair is tantamount to looking up a word in a randomized dictionary in a language you don't read.
I'm glad I come to that realization so quickly, because as soon as we hit a junction the mare darts right and the colt dashes full-tilt left. He should be slower than the mare, so I change targets. Neither seemed armed, but there's no telling what was in their saddlebags so I need to play it safe and stay at least a few metres back.
A series of quick hops forward and a hurried apology to Mr. Cake (I hope that doesn't sprain,) and I'm almost on him. There's a pit in the road ahead if I remember correctly, which could give me another obstacle I'll gain distance on with my teleportation. I squint with effort as I try to formulate a simple stunning bolt while keeping my hooves in sync under me. He doesn't seem to notice how close I am with how straight he's running, and it's almost too easy. I hold the spell in a mental stasis, ready to let it fly before I break my own teleportation rule; I teleport directly into the air a good 15 feet, and immediately begin falling.
I only have a few seconds until that fifteen feet becomes zero and I impact the ground hard enough to shatter all of my hooves and only some of my ribs if I'm lucky, but I'll only need half of that. Being above the hoof traffic on the street, I have a clear shot at the tan colt, who spares a surprised glance back to see a lavender unicorn flying through the air charging her horn with spells meant for him. Either he's not the brightest, or he's incredibly brave because he turns forward again and pushes himself into what I assume is a last-ditch sprint towards the construction pit. I ready the bolt, wait a fraction of a second for him to prepare his jump where his velocity will be locked into place, and...
- - - -
Ow. Ow, ow, ow!
I groan loudly in protest to my brain's persistence in telling me that my body is either on fire, being emulsified, or otherwise in a state of extreme discomfort. Whatever spell I just cast, I'm going to be cleaning up the mess for days. I hope the microscope is okay, last time I botched a Cyr's Seeing spell I thought we'd need to renovate the whole basement.
I groan again, but this time it's due to the massive weight that's suddenly flung itself across my chest and knocked the wind from me. I crack open an eye, and I see a blurred purple and green mess of scales crying its' little heart out. "Spike?" I ask in a hoarse voice that sounds like it belongs to somepony else.
"Twilight, what happened!? They found you two with two broken ribs in the middle of the street! Rainbow saw and- And you, she-" he stammers, looking up at me with a very worried expression. His eyes are pink and puffy, but he's suppressing whatever emotions are putting a strangle hold on him quickly. I put a hoof up to his mouth, signaling for him to take a deep breath and calm down. He does exactly that, like we've trained each other to do in times like this, and I'm left a moment to think.
I look down at myself and suck down a gasp. I'm more bandage than pony, and suddenly the signals of pain and shock my brain has been relaying make so much more sense. What DID happen?
"I remember, I was right on top of him. I had a paralysis bolt ready, and then..." I feel a phantom pain in my ribs, and it comes flooding back to me in an instant. "That pegasus filly, she tackled me out of the air!" I try to slam a hoof down at my side in frustration and wince as a fresh wave of pain is sent from my neurological punishment system. "Why didn't somepony catch her?!"
"Rainbow Dash did, Goldfish crashed with you." Spike says, having caught his breath and clearly trying to remain calm and rational despite my obvious distress. "That's her name, the pegasus. It's about all the guard has been able to get out of her. They found you both out cold, and she only wants to talk to you."
She only wants to talk to me?
"Okay, I think I get what's happening. Don't worry, I'll take care of this," I say confidently, rolling over to the side of the hospital bed I've been assigned to. I have no idea what's happening, but a few chief candidates that pop up range from political sabotage involving me, to a conspiracy to overthrow the princesses, to some kind of ransom plot. When it involves my friends and I, though, it's rarely ever something that simple. Huh, what a strange tolerance for mayhem I've built that overthrowing the princesses seems straightforward by my standards. I should probably talk to somepony about that.
I dangle a leg over the edge, then another.
"Are you sure?" he asks, still sounding concerned.
I love him, and I'd be concerned if I were in his horseshoes too, but as long as I can walk and talk I can solve this. I've been through worse and still cast alicorn-tier magic in the same breath. Or, at least, that's what I tell myself as I try to lower myself onto the ground and my hooves give out from under me. I fall flat on my face and roll backwards into a sitting position, panting heavily and trying to shake off the stars popping in and out of my vision.
"Come on Twilight, don't do this to yourself. You're hurt, you need to rest," Spike says, laying a tentative hand on my back.
"You know I won't be able to rest until I know what this is all about." I finally get to my hooves and force a brave grin his way. Oh sweet Celestia, my everything hurts. My sides are bruised and sore, my head feels like it's splitting in half, and I can't seem to focus my eyes on anything more than a foot away. I grit my teeth together, ignore the pain, and force myself to stand up.
"Goldfish isn't going anywhere, she'll be here when you wake up," Spike pleads, standing next to me, but he knows I've made up my mind. He could call for Nurse Redheart and she'd have me back in the bed within seconds, but for all the years of bad decisions we've been through together he seems to understand my restlessness.
I take a deep breath, and start walking towards the door. I can hear him follow behind me, and I'm thankful for the support. It's only a few steps before I find myself outside my small empty room, and the first thing I notice is royal guards every few meters up and down the hallway leading to the main facilities, numbering at least half a dozen. The second is the sound of heavy hoof-falls coming from down the hall.
The door to the nurse's office opens, and there's a tall, regal unicorn stallion in full ceremonial armor staring down the hall at me. His mane is braided in gold, and his horn glints in the light of the sun shining through the window. A strap of three stars is attached to the chest of his militaristic uniform, and he looks to be in his late thirties. "Miss Twilight Sparkle?" he asks, with a slight bow of his head.
"Yes, that's me," I reply, forcing my legs to keep moving forward until I'm within conversational distance. A mare in motion stays in motion.
"Lieutenant Golden Piercer, on behalf of the 3rd Royal division. Princess Luna has ordered that you will not leave this wing without a chaperone, until further notice," he says, his voice stern and commanding.
Wait, what?
"What does Princess Luna have to do with anything? What's going on?" I begin, but I feel Spike tug on my side right as I'm about to begin my onslaught of questions. He's got that face where he knows something I don't, and he doesn't wear it that obviously often. I take a second to recenter myself, and I take the bait, backing down and focusing on not letting any two hooves hold all my weight for too long at a time.
The lieutenant looks from me, to Spike, and back again and seems to realize I'm not exactly up to speed on everything. As he's about to say something, he's shoved aside by a white earth pony mare about half his size who's staring daggers into my already weak body. Oh boy.
"Oh, hey nurse Redheart! Fancy seeing you here! We were just, uh, looking for the bathroom?" I shrink a bit under her gaze, but offer a sheepish grin. She's not having any of it.
"You're not leaving this wing until your wounds are healed and you've been cleared by me. And Spike, I don't care what the guards or the princesses say, she needs her rest! If she gets out of that bed again, I'm going to assume you're having part of it and restrict guest access." She says, even more sternly than the high-ranking military officer towering beside her. He seems to be well-mannered though, as he doesn't interrupt the very peeved chief of staff to point out that his orders supersede hers.
"But—"
"No buts, Spike!" she barks. I know it's out of love, or at least concern, but I forgot how scary Redheart can be when she sees you as a troublemaker.
Spike lets out a frustrated sigh, looking up at me apologetically until I nod him back towards the room. He opens his mouth, searching for an argument to support us walking out of here and taking care of business like he knows I want, but he's as frazzled as I am. I appreciate the attempt, though. I watch him walk back into the room, then turn my attention back to the mare who's still glaring at me.
"There's no chance anypony's got a long-and-short of what happened while I was out, or why there's a company of royal guard in a hospital, is there?" I ask, trying to remain calm despite everypony's seeming inability to give me a straight answer on what the buck is going on.
"Why? Just look at yourself, Miss Twilight!" she replies, crossing her forehooves in front of her. "We'll continue this conversation in a few minutes, after I've been reassured by the lieutenant here that my hospital won't be bogged down by said army of guards. Now please, before you re-fracture something," she motions me back to my room, glancing worriedly at a bandage on my left hindleg.
I look over at the guard next to me. He pretends not to hear the exchange, but I can feel a bit of secondhand embarrassment for his superior and me radiating from here.
"Sorry, nurse Redheart." I wilt a bit, partially because I realize all these guards clogging her hospital halls were probably stationed here because of me, and partially because I realize I'm being more than a little stubborn in my headstrong 'I'll fix this right now' approach. She and Spike were right, I should take it easy. Laying down seems like a pretty good idea right about now, actually, given that my vision's been swimmy the last thirty seconds or so. Besides, I've been studying healing evocations. I'm sure I can touch myself up at least enough to be able to trot around freely, if Spike's able to smuggle in some reference material. And if the hospital doesn't mind some chalk and ink on the ground.
Redheart raises a brow, but seems content with my compliance. At that, Piercer nods to the guard next to me, who steps forward to offer his side to lean on back to my bed.
"I've got it, thanks though." I give him a polite nod, and stumble back towards my room. Whether out of concern or duty, he stays beside me anyways, but he’s courteous enough to stay half a meter or so away as I make my way to the bed and crawl back into it. Spike takes the guard's place as he excuses himself and reclaims his post outside the room, closing the door silently behind him. I let out a breath I didn't realize I'd been holding in, and it's not until I'm relaxed on my side again I realize I was starting to sweat and shake from the exertion. Now that it's just Spike and I again, I get to thinking.
"I'm not helping you break out of here." Spike states flatly, leaning against the wall beside me. I look up at him, startled.
"What?" I blink. I wasn't thinking that at all.
He opens his mouth and his eyes narrow in a 'Yes you were' way, but he hangs there a moment and sighs, looking back into the middle of the room, mulling something over in his head. Something's gotten into him today, and it's starting to get to me now, too. He's barely out of reach, so I summon a mage hoof and pat him on the head a couple times to try and diffuse the tension.
"Alright young dragon, spill it." I pry.
His eyes flick toward mine. They're much larger than usual all of a sudden, and they seem to have a lot going on behind them. But then he shakes his head quickly, working out how to say what's on his mind.
"How are we... How are we always so calm when this kind of stuff happens? And... Why's it always have to be us, you know?" He lifts a clawed foot and kicks idly at the air a few times. I think I see where this is going, but I let him continue the thought. "When's the last time we had a month straight just to have fun or relax? Last week it was Trixie's mass invisibility spell with the chickens, a month ago Cadence needed us to help suppress echoes of Sombra's influence through the crystal resonators, the month before that it was the changeling scare with Blueblood-" He's getting more agitated with every sentence, and it comes to a peak as he pushes himself forward from the wall, clenches his fist and opens his mouth to shout something, but the clawed fist hangs for a moment while he looks for the right words. The steam vents out of him in the moment and he simply shrugs his shoulders and shakes his head, defeated.He looks down at the floor for a little while, and I'm not quite sure what to say to that.
"We're important," "We're special," "Because only we can do the things that need to be done."; They're all acceptable answers we've come to accept despite the hubris of it. But looking at him now, I understand it's just not enough to justify how much of a hassle the world's been putting on him, on us, on everypony. Thinking about it, admittedly less-than-objectively, has me staring at the ground now too, and Spike and I both stew in the uncertainty of how to explain our intent to each other.
"Honestly, Twilight, I'm scared." He suddenly pipes up, breaking the silence. My ears perk up and swivel up with the rest of me, and he stares up towards the blank slate-white ceiling, lost in something I can't see. "We've saved Equestria half a dozen times over, but if we'd failed even once, you- We'd be..." His voice is shaking a bit, and it cracks at the end. I open my mouth to say something to comfort him, to tell him we won't ever fail, but I can't. I can't disrespect his fears so simply like that. How long has he been carrying this around by himself? Did it really take getting hospitalized for me to ask that? Oh, Celestia, I could really use your guidance right about now.
"Spike, I..." I start the sentence without knowing what I'm going to say. The words trail off, though, and there's no way they'll sound comforting anyway. There isn't any answer I can give that will make him feel better, so instead, I settle for being honest. "It scares me too," I admit, "but you know why?" He nods slightly. "It's not because I'm afraid of the worst. Or, even if I am a little bit... It's because of everypony else who's on the line when we're the only ones who can salvage it all." And then I stare straight ahead again, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in my stomach. This conversation was supposed to help ease his worries, not bring mine up. We both go back to contemplative silence.
"But, Twilight," Spike says after a moment. Clearly that wasn't what he wanted to hear, because he turns away from me, and I see a tiny spout of flame erupt from his nostrils. "What if things don't go our way, what happens next time? Who does it hurt if we let somepony else rise to some all-important challenge tomorrow, y'know? When do we get a pat on the back, Princess Celestia tells us 'good job,' and we let somepony else handle it? Unfair isn't even close to-" He's shaking again, and I can't bear lying here while he does this. Oh parasprites I'm going to regret this-
My horn glows purple, and in an instant I'm beside him while he's fighting down his emotions. My limbs scream at my sudden disrespect of my injuries, but I shove it aside and pull him into a hug with me. Thankfully he's willing to let me pull him to the floor with me while we hug it out. Because really, ow. He continues muttering incoherent concerns and possibilities, and I just keep holding him tighter as he cries into my shoulder. It takes everything I've got to not start crying right there with him, but I manage. Just barely.
"None of that's going to happen, Spike. At least not for now." I reassure him, and for some reason I believe it. Hopefully it's not the re-development of a goddess complex, but I have confidence in myself that I can stop whatever it is that's threatening us from the shadows, no matter who or how many.
"You can't say that for sure-" He hugs me back tighter, like he's afraid of what will happen if he lets go.
"I can." I interrupt him, quietly but firmly.
That seems to resonate, because he doesn't have a rebuttal for it. Another minute or two passes before he calms down and finally eases his grip on my shoulders then slumps forward, emotionally exhausted.
"I got letters from the Princess." He mutters, quietly into my chest. "At least 10, they're under the bed."
It takes me a moment to switch from maternity mode to information-parsing mode, but I crane my neck up and to the left and sure enough, there's a small mountain of scrolls bearing the seal of the royal sisters opened and unfurled on the floor. I pick one at random, and float it over. My eyes gloss over the contents, but a couple lines in I begin to tense up.
'Twilight,
I swear to you that I will personally see to this matter. I believed hostile actors to not be a significant threat in Ponyville, and in so doing my judgement indirectly lead to your injuries. I am so, so sorry you had to experience this, I will be in Ponyville by nightfall.
-Celestia'
I float another over.
'Twilight,
My intelligence ponies have informed me that there was an accident, I pray you're faring well. If anything is required, hesitate not to as-'
Another.
' Twi-
I will not be arriving by nigh-
not be arriving at all, as a matter o-
Lunar Guard has me under supervision on Luna-
such a time I'm deemed emotionally prepared to leav-
fireproof throne room was an apt decision, it seems. Nonetheles-
Please do stay safe, Twilight. Luna will come to your aid in my stead b-
-Your mentor,
Princess Celestia'
The page is frail and dry, and the top right third of it is charred black beyond readability as if it had been stuck in a fire. I gulp down my very heavy concern, and let out a long, deep breath through my nose. I never thought I would see such an... Unhinged display from the Princess. In a horrible, guilty way it's touching to see she cares that much about my safety, but seeing this from her is also deeply unsettling.
"Yeah..." Spike mutters, and I assume the others are no better. I rest my head on his shoulder as well, glossing over a couple more of the letters, trying to sort the order they arrived in. I see why Spike didn't want to mention these when I first woke up, this is probably what got him so shook up in the first place. A Goddess sending you frantic, emotionally-charged letters through dragon mail while your best friend is possibly comatose definitely can't be a soothing experience. For a while we stay there, resting against each other on the floor in relative silence until a few sets of heavy hoof-falls from the hall signal a visitor. My ears perk up again, and we both separate to turn our heads towards the door.
The door opens, and flanked by two Lunar Guards wearing jet-black chitin-like armor is Princess Luna. And she looks pissed.