Spike spent the rest of the evening in Twilight’s library, searching for any book he could find on the topic of steam trains. The task wasn’t hard, just time-consuming, taking at least ten minutes to get through the letter ‘S’ category alone.
By evening, he had stacked up a pile of books taller than he was. Even if some entries were only tangentially related to steam locomotive operations, he’d take anything to drown out the persistent intrusive thoughts that continued to stab at him.
He was halfway through The Complete History of Equestrian Railways: Vol. 1 when a voice caught his ear.
“Spike? Are you home?”
It was Twilight. Did something happen? She wasn’t supposed to be back until Monday.
“I’m in the Library,” he called back, though couldn’t muster much enthusiasm for her early return.
Dropping her saddlebag in the hall with an echoing thump, Twilight rushed up the stairs and burst into the library, plonking herself next to Spike and wrapping her wing around him. “I completed my diplomatic duties in record time. Turns out, they weren’t nearly as anxious about making peace with dragons as I expected. I’m sorry I left you behind. I genuinely thought it was necessary. Are you holding up okay?”
“Twilight, that’s enough!” Spike groaned, pushing her off him. “I’ll be fine. I just don’t wanna talk about it.”
“Of course, Spike,” Twilight smiled in relief. “I’m glad to hear it. What are you reading?”
“Nothing much. Just a book about Equestria’s railways. Did you know that a pony named Iron-beard Kingdom Bridle originally planned for the Ponyville branch to be broad gauge? The tracks would’ve been seven feet across! Kind of a shame it was never built that way. It would’ve been incredible to see.”
“Oh my gosh,” Twilight gasped, her smile blossoming into a full grin. If there was one thing guaranteed to spark her excitement, it was a loved one fixating on a good book. “I didn’t know you were so interested in trains, Spike. Have you been studying long? Do you need any research help? It looks like you’ve got quite the stack already, but I can always visit the Canterlot library for further reading.”
“Uh, that’s okay, Twilight,” Spike replied, slightly taken aback by the sudden explosion of joy. Twilight and Pinkie Pie didn’t share many traits, but once the topic of books came up, it was hard to tell the difference. “Smoulder asked me to help at the miniature railway. Y’know, the one near the Everfree forest? I’m just getting started, so this should be enough for now.”
“I’ll take your word for it,” Twilight giggled. “I should start researching the topic myself. Just in case.”
Yeah, ‘cause the baby dragon still needs adult supervision. “Well, it’s your library, so…”
Carefully levitating a book out from the bottom of the pile, Twilight opened it and flicked through the pages. “This will do nicely. Anyway, I’m glad you’re feeling better, Spike. If there’s anything you need to talk about, you know I’m here for you.”
Oh sure. Will you be warming up my bottle, next? “Thanks, Twilight. I appreciate it.”
Once Twilight had left the room, Spike realised how tense he was. She had always cared for him, but did she care about him? He wasn’t sure such a distinction existed. In some ways, he expected her to press him more, but was also glad that she didn’t.
Letting out a noise that was somewhere between a yawn and a groan, Spike rubbed his eyes with his claws. There he went, constructing yet another no-win scenario to keep him trapped in a spiral of negativity. These emotional contradictions were getting exhausting. He didn’t love Twilight any less for going on a solo mission, it had just come at a bad time, that was all.
Looking at the time, he decided it was best to start winding down. If he were to be awake enough to be of use to Smoulder tomorrow, he'd better get a good night’s sleep – even if his intrusive thoughts tried to sabotage that.
Flicking back a few pages, he placed his bookmark over an annotated, cut-away diagram of a steam locomotive. Perhaps if he recited the various part names as he drifted off, he could keep himself calm and better internalise the information for the morning’s work. Between that, and a nice hot cup of herbal tea, he’d all but guarantee future Spike’s feeling of refreshment.
Re-focusing his thoughts, he set his mind to imagine all the different jobs he would be asked to do. Perhaps there was a locomotive in need of urgent repairs, wagons that needed shunting, or conductor duties?
Conductor Spike, he repeated to himself. I like the sound of that.