//------------------------------// // To Catch a Thief // Story: The Mare Who Knew Too Little // by Alabenson //------------------------------// “You are certain that is pony we are looking for?” Hired Muscle grunted as he and Strong Armer watch Fluttershy trot into the hotel from a café across the street. “She does not seem like secret agent. More like helpless kitten.” “One, of course she seems harmless. Think about it, La Mariposa is a master of disguise, and if half the stories I’ve heard about her are true then she’s got a body count to her name that’s bigger than both of ours combined. Anypony who’s that dangerous and has been in the game for that long has got to be good at hiding it,” Strong Armer said. “So, the less dangerous she seems, the more dangerous she is?” Hired Muscle asked dubiously. “Exactly. Besides, I recognize her from the train. She’d looked like she’d been shoved aside when Double Helix ran through the car. I didn’t think much about it at the time, but that must have been when the egghead made the drop.” “And that is how you are sure this is La Mariposa,” Hired Muscle said, sounding even more skeptical than before. “Is impossible that mare with butterfly Cutie Mark happened to be on train and get pushed by professor?” Strong Armer rolled his eyes at this. “Oh yes, a mare, who just happens to have a similar Cutie Mark as an infamous master of disguise, just happened to be on the same train as the professor, who just so happened to have hired said master of disguise. And then this random mare is shoved aside by the professor while we were chasing him just in time for us to see her. Don’t be ridiculous, this isn’t some cheap spy novel. Now, what we need to figure out is how to get that sample back before the boss starts getting impatient.” “There is always crushing,” Hired Muscled suggested hopefully. “I considered that, but I don’t think we should chance it, not with her staying in some fancy hotel in the middle of town. The screaming would attract too much attention. No, I think we need to do this the nice and quiet way.” “You mean use Subtlety,” Hired Muscle snorted. “I hate using Subtlety. Is no fun.” “It might not be the most exciting way to handle things, but it’s good for keeping a low profile. Nopony ever sees it coming, and if there were ever a time we needed a plan that was a sure thing, then this would be it.” Hired Muscle thought for a moment before grumbling something along the lines of a reluctant agreement. “Is still boring,” Hired Muscle grunted in a dejected tone. “I’ll take boring over risking having to deal with the boss’ pet any day, and you should, too. Remember what happened after the Istanbull incident?” Strong Armer added, causing Hired Muscle to go a little pale as he shuddered at the memory. “My thoughts exactly. So, for now, what we’re going to do is wait for nightfall. I’ve already checked the room she’s in, so I’ll fly up there once everything’s nice and dark, and then…” ********* Sneaking up to a window without attracting any unwanted attention was always a trickier proposition than most ponies gave it credit for. Selecting the best time for the approach, for example, was a surprisingly complicated prospect. In any city of even remotely respectable size you wouldn’t be able to simply wait until dark, the streets would inevitably still be crowded until well into the evening. But, you couldn’t wait until the crowds vanished entirely, either. There was always the chance you could be spotted by a lone guard on patrol, or some wandering insomniac, and a lone pegasi trying to enter a hotel window in the middle of the night would be immediately suspicious. The trick Strong Armer preferred to use was to wait until the local salt bas closed for the night and mingle in with the drunks returning home. It would be late enough that most of the potential witnesses would be cleared from the streets, but not so late that Strong Armer couldn’t pose as an overly-inebriated guest trying to enter the wrong room should he be caught. As luck had it, however, such precautions proved to be wholly unnecessary. The streets were completely empty as Strong Armer silently flew up to the window of Fluttershy’s hotel room, a metal box with ‘Subtlety’ written on it tucked under his foreleg. After a cursory check of the window to ensure there weren’t any jury-rigged surprises waiting for him, Strong Armer cracked the door open and pushed one end of the box inside. “Alright, Subtlety, wake up. Time to go to work,” Strong Armer whispered as he carefully opened a latch holding the end of the box closed and gingerly shook the box to dislodge its occupant. Strong Armer’s actions were met by an angry hiss as a long, dark form slithered out of the box and into the hotel room. “And that ought to take of La Mariposa just fine. All I need to do now is wait for morning and we’ll be able to get the sample back, no problem.” ********* “—Of course, the real tricky part is making sure Subtlety’s back in its box before I toss the room, but a bit of food will lure it back easy enough. That’s why I always make sure its good and hungry before I do a job with it,” Strong Armer said as he and Hired Muscle sat back at the café the following morning. “Snake still gives me the creeps,” Hired Muscle said as he watched the window to Fluttershy’s room. “So, when do you go to collect snake and sample?” “Not much longer now, I’d give it another hour or so just in case it took Subtlety longer than usual,” Strong Armer said. “It’s probably already over, but you don’t want to rush things. Subtlety’s definitely done their part by now, so really its just a matter of making sure nature’s had plenty of time to run its course, if you follow me.” “So, La Mariposa definitely would not be flying around by now?” Hired Muscle asked dubiously, to which Strong Armer snorted in derision. “Are you kidding? Even if all she got was a tiny nip on the hoof, she won’t even be able to stand up at this point, let alone fly. She might still be able to flop around if she was bitten late, but that’s about it.” “Then tell me, who is mare flying out of hotel window?” As Hired Muscle gestured towards Fluttershy’s room, Strong Armer let out a barely stifled cry of shock as a perfectly healthy Fluttershy exited the window before flying off down the street. “What? How is she…darn it!” Strong Armer sputtered with a mixture of rage and disbelief. “Am pretty sure is what I was asking,” Hired Muscle replied. “Don’t you start with me! Alright, we can salvage this. You, follow her to make sure she isn’t off to drop the sample off someplace. While you’re doing that, I’ll sneak in and search her room. If we’re lucky she might have left the sample there.” “You really think she would have—” “Not. The. Time,” Strong Armer snarled through clenched teeth. “Now, hurry up after her before she gets out of sight!” Before Hired Muscle could utter a reply, Strong Armer leapt up from the table and marched across the street towards the hotel. Moving as fast as he could without risking drawing attention to himself, Strong Armer trotted across the lobby towards the stairway. While Strong Armer didn’t know the exact layout of the hotel, he knew where Fluttershy’s room was from the outside, and that was enough for him to be able to march almost straight towards it. Moving through the halls as if he belonged there, the few ponies he passed paid him no mind, and before long he was in front of Fluttershy’s door. A quick glance around to confirm nopony was watching and a swift bit of lock picking later and Strong Armer was safely inside Fluttershy’s room. There was nothing inside the room that stuck out as unusual, the only real sign that the room was even occupied being a small, open suitcase lying open on a table. “I need to be quick about this, there’s no telling when she’ll get back from wherever she was headed to. No time to be neat, I’ll just toss the room quick and be out in a minute or two,” Strong Armer muttered to himself as he made a beeline straight for the suitcase before picking it up and dumping out its contents onto the table. He scarcely even noticed the movement within the loose clothing until a loud, angry hiss assaulted his ears. By then, however, it was already too late. ********* “A southern Equestrian rock viper? Are you sure? Those aren’t native to anywhere even remotely near here?” Natural Harmony said as Fluttershy led her back to the hotel. “I’m positive. I think the poor dear must have escaped from somewhere that wasn’t doing a very good job of taking care of her. She was so cold and hungry and confused when I found her, it was awful. Luckily, I had some snake treats in my luggage, and she calmed right down once she had had something to eat.” “Well, let’s just be grateful it was your room she wound up slithering into, you’re probably one of the only ponies in Equestria who’s qualified to safely deal with a snake like that. The venom those things have is absolutely terrifying,” Natural Harmony said with a shiver. “To be honest, even I don’t like handling southern rock vipers if I can avoid it, not without a good supply of antivenom on hoof, anyway.” “I know they can be dangerous if they’re provoked, but—” “Fluttershy, one nip on the hoof from one of those things would be lethal unless a pony could receive a dose of antivenom within an hour or two. If somepony were bitten multiple times, or Celestia help them, anywhere near their head, then they’d probably be dead in minutes. And its not unusual at all for rock vipers to bit five or six times if they’re agitated.” Natural Harmony shuddered at the thought. “There’s a very good reason rock vipers are considered the most dangerous species in Equestria. I’d be a lot more nervous about moving this one if you weren’t here to help.” “What’s important to me is that you’ll be able to take good care of her at the zoo,” Fluttershy replied. “And don’t worry, once we get to the hotel, I’ll handle coaxing her into the carrier so you can—oh my!” As the two ponies rounded a corner, they saw that a collection of guard wagons, along with an ambulance, had all converged in front of the hotel entrance. “Oh no,” Natural Harmony groaned. “I think I may have spoken too soon about being grateful the snake wound up in your room. I recognize one of those wagons, it belongs to Trottingham Animal Control.” “You don’t think something’s happened, do you?” Fluttershy gasped in horror. “It might have. You’d better come with me, let’s try and see what’s going on. Whatever it is, if animal control is here, then we’ll probably want you help anyway.” ********* Staying inconspicuous had never been Hired Muscle’s strong suit. Most of the jobs Hired Muscle took required him to be as large, intimidating, and conspicuous as possible, which was how he liked it. As such, to avoid notice, Hired Muscle had kept as far back from Fluttershy as he could while she flitted to the Trottingham Zoo, of all places, before trotting back towards the hotel with some earth pony in tow. Staying so far back had meant that Hired Muscle hadn’t been able to make out anything that the two mares had been saying to each other, but he considered that to be a fair trade. This desire to keep a large distance was only amplified further when the hotel came back into view and Hired Muscle saw the guards swarming all over the entrance. As such, Hired Muscle remained as far back as possible while Fluttershy and her friend approached the guards before entering the hotel itself. Several minutes passed by before several guards wheeled out a sheet-covered stretcher, which they quickly loaded into the nearby ambulance before driving off. Hired Muscle briefly considered following the ambulance to confirm his suspicions, but he quickly decided it was unnecessary. The fact that Strong Armer was nowhere to be seen told Hired Muscle everything he needed to know. Clearly, his friend’s efforts to handle things quietly had gone horribly wrong. Now, it would be time for crushing. ********* A few hours later at the Trottingham Morgue, Calling Hour, the mortician’s assistant, was preparing himself for a usually eventful day. Ponies didn’t often pass in ways that necessitated autopsies, and it was even rarer for such a pony to be an actual criminal. Most ponies would have said Calling Hour was rather morbid for getting excited over something like that, but, in fairness, most ponies would have called Calling Hour rather morbid regardless. “Pardon me, I’m looking for the mortician. Is he in, by any chance?” Calling Hour paused filling out the latest set of forms from the guards as the voice of an unexpected visitor drew his attention. The visitor himself didn’t appear to be anything special, a brown-coated earth pony with a nondescript apple for a Cutie Mark, but visitors of any kind to the morgue were a rare sight. “I’m Detective Evercrisp, Trottingham Special Investigations Division. I understand you received a burglar who went through a bit of a mishap this morning?” “A bur—oh, yes!” Calling Hour said as he recovered from his surprise. “It’s the craziest thing, apparently he had broken into a hotel room to rob the guest, but he wound up getting bitten by a snake that had found its way inside the room the night before. But, why are you looking into it? I thought the guard had already closed the investigation.” “Yes, well, I’ve been looking into a series of burglaries in the area, and our chief suspect mysteriously went missing last night. So, if you don’t mind, I’d just like a minute to…” “See if your missing burglar is my cadaver,” Calling Hour concluded. “Well, the head mortician, Lucky Stiff, is out right now, but I guess I can help if all you need to do is take a look for identification.” Calling Hour proceeded to lead the detective into the morgue’s examination room, where the body in question was already laid out, though mercifully covered by a sheet. “I should warn you, he’s not really a pretty sight. That snake did a real number on him. Are you ready?” “Don’t worry about me, I’m hardly the squeamish sort,” Detective Evercrisp replied, prompting Calling Hour to pull back the sheet. While the deceased’s body had been twisted and swollen by the venom, Evercrisp was still able to immediately recognize it as the former Strong Armer. “Well, is that your missing burglar?” Calling Hour asked. “That’s him, I’m afraid. On the bright side, this does mean I’ll be able to close the case. Well, I’m sure you have plenty of work to do, so I’ll get out of your mane.” Before Calling Hour could respond, Detective Evercrisp, or, more accurately, Northern Spy, had already exited the room and was trotting through the halls while mentally assessing the situation. “Strong Armer wasn’t just some random thug, he had a long history of violence behind him. Not the type of stallion who could be dealt with easily, and certainly not in a manner that could be passed off as an accident. That would mean we can rule out the possibility that this new ‘La Mariposa’ is some amateur appropriating the name. What bothers me, though, is the fact that she hasn’t made any attempt to contact the EID. She could be buying time to blackmail Convoluted Plan for the evidence, or even working for a third party altogether. Whoever she is, its clear I’m dealing with one of the most ruthless, cold-blooded ponies in Equestria.”