The universe hated her.
It had to be that. The universe had a personal vendetta against Applejack. It hated her, personally. Life was a rollercoaster that was only drops. Farther and farther down until the exhilaration felt more like dread and the pit in your stomach felt like being stabbed. A rollercoaster that went so far down it burned.
Applejack had never even been on a rollercoaster before.
“I don’t care that I got a week left in my stay,” she argued with the receptionist at the front desk and the nurse that had arrived. It was the nurse that had come when she’d woken up in pain. That felt like forever ago. Just another shitty moment in her shitshow of a life. “I need to leave.”
“The roads are so iced over,” the nurse said. Applejack thought her name might have been Terry. “It’s not wise to leave, especially on your own.”
“I’m not leavin’ on my own!”
The receptionist shot a look at Nurse Terry, who returned it. Applejack wasn’t sure what was said with that glance, and it only made her feel even angrier.
“Look, you… are allowed to sign yourself out, but—”
“Then I’d like to sign myself out,” Applejack interjected with a sharp glare. She gripped her pushrims tightly and turned toward the receptionist. “What do I need to sign to get outta here?”
“Miss, we are first and foremost concerned about your well-being,” she put in with an overly-polite tone. Applejack could tell she was irritated. “It is incredibly dangerous out there, especially by yourself.”
“Oh my f…” Applejack bit back the profanity and dug her nails into the palms of her hands. “With all due respect, ma’am, whaddya take me for? Some kinda invalid who can’t do nothin’ for herself, not even make the choice of whether or not she wants to leave this damn building?”
The receptionist blanched. “No! Not at all, I’m just advising—”
“I’m just waitin’ for my friend to come pick me up,” Applejack said sharply. She backed into the spot where the receptionist's table lowered in height. “And then I’m leavin’ whether or not you get me the damn papers I need to sign. Chase me all the way back home, I don’t care, I need to be there for Barley!”
A different voice entered the conversation. “Woah, woah, woah.”
Applejack turned to Rain, who slowly approached through the little crowd that had formed. Applejack felt her ears burn to match the rest of her face at the sight of the audience, but frankly, she couldn’t bring herself to be mortified enough to relent.
Rain frowned at Applejack, then turned to his colleagues. “What’s going on here?”
Nurse Terry pursed her lips. “Miss Applejack wants to be discharged.”
“What?” Rain turned to look at her slack-jawed. “Why now? You only have a week left, and it’s less than pleasant outside.”
If Applejack had to explain one more time, she really thought she might explode either into a ball of flames or into a ball of tears. It was unsure which. “My horse colicked and I need to get home to him,” she explained for what she hoped would be the last time. “And no, I ain’t plannin’ on goin’ alone; Thistle was gonna come pick me up, and yes I know the weather ain’t nice, and yes I know I have one more week, but frankly,” she huffed, “I could give less of a shit. I’m pretty much ready to leave now, anyway.” She stared directly at Rain. “Everythin’ you’re teachin’ me recently is stuff I already know. It’s useless.”
Judging by the slight slip in Rain’s expression, Applejack went too far. She knew it, but she swallowed her apology and kept her eyes on his until he looked away. “I’m sorry you feel that way, Applejack,” he said flatly. “But you’re right, you are allowed to leave when you wish. And you are in a place where I can confirm that you’re ready to leave without my concern for your recovery.”
His tone made Applejack uneasy. It was… clinical. But she didn’t care. She just needed to get the all-clear. “So I can leave?”
“I’ve taught you what you need to know at this stage,” Rain responded. “So, yes. You have my reluctant good-to-go. Nurse?”
Nurse Terry sighed and shook her head, but relented anyway. “Your files say you’ve learned your techniques and routines. I don’t think it’s wise to leave in this weather, but that is the only thing stopping you.”
Applejack wasn’t hearing a no. She turned to the receptionist, who was already placing some papers on the counter next to her, as well as handing her a pen. “Be safe.”
“I will,” Applejack told her. She knew they were worried, but she had bigger things to worry about. “But this is important to me. More important than anything.”
She signed the papers with a quick signature and slid them back. Rain stuck his hands in his pockets and frowned as he followed her to the waiting room. “I wasn’t expecting to have to say goodbye so soon.”
“Me neither,” Applejack responded, cooling down now that she had gotten what she wanted. “I’m sorry for yellin’ I just… I’m scared for Barley.” Her lip quivered, but she bit back a sob. She wasn’t going to cry. She couldn’t.
Rain nodded. “I understand, but I just hope you’re thinking of yourself, too.”
“I don’t care about myself,” she blurted out before she could even think about what she was saying. Rain stared at her as she dropped her gaze and spun the ring around her finger. “No, I mean, I just… I care about him. He’s… I need to care about him more right now. He needs me.”
“He’s special to you.”
Applejack nodded. “He’s one of the last real things I got left of my parents. This ring, their horses, and Barley. They gave Barley to me for my birthday. He was so big and I was just a little thirteen-year-old. He was with me when…” Applejack swallowed the lump in her throat. “When my parents died.”
“No wonder you care so deeply about him,” Rain responded with a sad smile. “Our bonds with animals are something amazing.”
“Yeah,” Applejack agreed. “And I… I just. I don’t wanna lose him,” she admitted, blinking back tears that threatened to spill.
Rain pursed his lips. “You said he colicked?”
Applejack dipped her head in confirmation.
“My cousin used to be a vet. He said once that most horses that colic end up doing fine.”
“I know, but I’m still… I’m scared.” Applejack brought her hand up to run her fingers through still-tangled hair. Suddenly, she felt self-conscious. “Strawberry said he wasn’t gettin’ up, but he kept trying to roll. I don’t want him to cast and end up gettin’ himself hurt or worse.”
Rain raised an eyebrow. “Who’s Strawberry?”
“Oh, she’s my…” Applejack paused and frowned as she tried to detangle her hair. “She works at the ranch. She was fillin’ me in.”
Rain nodded. “I see. Well, if it means anything, I hope your horse will be alright.”
“Thanks,” Applejack responded with the faintest of smiles. “I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me, Rain. I’m sorry if what I said offended you.”
“It’s okay. I’m not gonna hold it against you. I wish you would stay, though, but I can’t force you,” Rain responded with a bigger smile. “You are one of a kind. I’ve helped a lot of people, but no one’s ever been like you.”
“What? A real pain in the ass?” Applejack joked, glad that Rain was being friendly again.
“No.” Rain kneeled down and gave Applejack a crooked smile. “You’re resilient. You don’t let anyone give you flack. And you are a very fast learner.”
Applejack smiled and held out her arms. Rain wrapped his arms around her in a friendly hug. “Well, I couldn’ta done it without ya.” She tightened her hug a little. “Seriously. I’m sorry for leavin’, but maybe we’ll see each other again.”
Rain shuffled back and nodded. “As long as it’s not because you need more recovery, then I’ll look forward to that.”
Cold air that lasted only a few short moments made the hairs on Applejack’s arms stand on end. She looked over Rain’s shoulder as he stood up to see Thistle approaching them with a bit of a frown that disappeared once he got close enough.
Thistle waved at Applejack and walked past Rain. “Hey, Applejack. I’m here, are you ready to go?” He stood next to her and put his hand on her shoulder as he turned to face Rain. “Hey there, partner. How’s it going?”
“Well enough.” Rain nodded his head in greeting and put his hands back in his pockets. “Well, I should be heading back now. Good luck with everything, Applejack, and don’t be a stranger.”
“I won’t be,” Applejack promised. “Thanks for all your help.”
Thistle put some pressure on Applejack’s shoulder. “You got everything?”
Applejack bit her lip. She managed to fit most of her things in her backpack but…
“Don’t worry about it,” Rain put in. “I’ll keep it safe and you can come pick them up when you have time, or I could drop them off. Up to you.”
“I’ll bring her to come pick it up sometime,” Thistle responded. He looked down at Applejack with his hazel green eyes. “Alright?”
“Uh, sure, but can we get going?” Applejack frowned and glanced out the window. Small white flecks had begun to slowly fall. “The weather’s takin’ a turn.”
“Good idea.” Thistle stepped back and tipped his hat. “Nice to see ya again, Rain. Take care now, won’t ya?”
Rain furrowed his eyebrows a bit but kept his smile as he waved. “Sure thing. Drive safe, and Applejack?”
Applejack cocked her head. “Yeah?”
“Don’t forget what I taught you. Don’t give up when things are tough, and don’t be afraid to ask for help.”
She didn’t really have anything to say to that, so she just nodded and waved. Rain left the two of them alone in the waiting room, where everyone had decided to just mind their own business again. Applejack turned to face the door and then realized something she probably should have thought about before. “How far didja park? I don’t have a jacket.” She glanced down at herself. She wore a pair of loose-fitting sweatpants and a gray T-shirt along with an old, dirty pair of sneakers. They were the easiest thing to put on but it wasn’t very warm. “I think I have a sweater in my backpack…” She began to reach behind her, but Thistle stopped her.
“I’ll check for ya, but if not, you can have my jacket.” He unzipped her backpack and looked through it while Applejack fiddled with her ring. After a brief moment, Thistle held out a red and white hoodie in front of Applejack that was branded with the name of some horse supplements that had been her first rodeo sponsor. “This work?” Thistle asked.
Applejack took the sweater and stared at the logo. She held back a snort. “Yeah,” she answered as she put it on. It fit a little tight, but it was better than just a T-shirt. Though, she realized, the pants were probably not very warm, either, and she had to be more careful with keeping her lower body warm. “How cold is it out?”
“It’s not horrible, but it ain’t nice. I think you’ll be okay with just the sweater ‘til we get to the car, but you might wanna ask for a jacket once we get to your place,” Thistle told her as he zipped her backpack up and rehung it through the handlebars.
That was good enough for her. She set her hands on the pushrims and made her way to the automatic doors. They opened and a gust of wind made her squint.
It was almost hard to remember what outside felt like. Being cooped up inside a building for months hadn’t let Applejack properly get used to the weather changing. Last she remembered, it was Autumn and with that came a nice breeze. What had hit her upon those sliding doors opening, though? That was Jack Frost himself punching Applejack in the face with a frozen fist.
Applejack instinctively shrugged her shoulders against the cold. Maybe she shouldn’t have insisted on not going out to the patio every once in a while. It was just easier to stay inside where nobody would see her.
“I parked just up here,” Thistle cut in, walking in front of Applejack, who took a moment before continuing on through the biting wind. “You okay?”
“I’m fine,” Applejack muttered through gritted teeth. Thankfully, Thistle hadn’t been trying to make her feel better by saying he was parked nearby. It only took a couple of minutes to reach his car, but already Applejack was finding it a bit difficult to force her way through the salted-over sidewalk. At least it wasn’t icy.
Unsurprisingly, Thistle drove a pickup truck. It was a shiny dark blue, though the bottom half of it had clearly been through the weather. Streaks of white marked the places where winter had made its mark on the car, and splashes of dirt proved that the truck was being used. Applejack pulled up to the passenger side door and frowned. In theory, she knew how she should get in, but she’d never tried it.
Thistle unlocked the door and opened the door, but Applejack stayed still for a moment as she tried to figure out if she could do it. Applejack sighed and shook her head. “I can’t get up there on my own.”
“ I can lift you into the seat if you want,” Thistle offered. “Err, well, I dunno how else you’d get in.”
There was really no choice. The cold was starting to make Applejack shiver, and the more time she spent moping about it, the more time they wasted that could have been spent on the road. Applejack nodded and pushed her body forward a little. “Yeah, okay. Uh, I guess just… tie down my chair in the back after.”
“Got it,” Thistle told her as he hooked his arms behind her back and under her legs. With a huff, he lifted her and put her on the seat. “You good?”
Applejack adjusted herself in the car seat and put her legs where they belonged, making sure everything was fine. “Yeah, I’m fine. C’mon, we gotta hurry.” She buckled herself in and shut the door on Thistle, hoping that would entice him to hurry up. In the meantime, she breathed out a visible breath and rubbed her hands together. Thistle’s car smelled like cigarettes, but it was subtle and almost kind of nice. She blew into her hands while Thistle fumbled around in the back.
He finally hopped into the truck himself, setting Applejack’s backpack on a seat behind them and wasted no time on the ignition. The truck rumbled to life beneath them. Thistle rolled down a window a bit while he turned on the heat. “There’s seat warmers, if you want,” Thistle offered. “How do you get to your place?”
The seat warmer comment almost made Applejack scoff, but she figured even if she couldn’t feel it, it would be smart to have it on, so she pressed the button on. “Just get on the freeway and I’ll tell you, it ain’t hard to find but it’s a little far.”
With that set, Thistle drove out of the nicely salted road and immediately, Applejack realized why everyone had been making such a big deal out of the conditions of the roads. The normally black roads were covered in snow, and they still hadn’t left the city limits. She could only assume how much worse it’d get once they hit the dirt road.
With nothing to do but wait in silence only filled by soft-playing rock music, Applejack glanced out the window. The rehab facility wasn’t deep in the city, but it was well within the city limits. As Thistle drove as fast as safely possible, she watched as the buildings and houses drifted past. She couldn’t imagine living a suburban life, but she had to wonder if it was easier.
“So,” Thistle cut in, shaking Applejack from her thoughts. He didn’t seem very sure where he was taking the conversation. “Your family. They know you’re coming?”
“They told me not to come,” Applejack told him plainly, not taking her eyes from their fixed position out the window. “Said it was crazy.”
Thistle snorted. “Yeah, ‘cause it is. So, what? You’re just gon’ show up in the middle of this snowstorm and surprise your family?”
“I need to be there for Barley.” Applejack frowned and turned her head to glare at Thistle. “They can’t tell me to stay away from him.”
He lifted his fingers off the steering wheel to mimic putting his hands up and glanced at her. “I didn’t say that. I just think it probably ain’t the best idea.”
“So why are you helpin’ me?”
“If I don’t, you’ll probably find some other idiot to drive you,” Thistle said with a grin.
Applejack shrugged and looked out the window again. “Well, I don’t know any other idiots. At least, not any that live nearby.”
“Really? No one? I don’t believe you. What about your friends?”
“Well, uh.” Applejack sighed. “I don’t have any other friends.” She rested her hand on the side of her head and made a fist in her hair.
“Huh,” Thistle exclaimed. He didn’t say anything after that, which suited Applejack just fine.
Green eyes watched as the snow picked up, falling now with more intensity. Hopefully, everything was alright. Hopefully, there wouldn’t be any more problems. Had they checked the other horses for colic? Did they check the cattle? The horses out in the pasture? What if Barley wasn’t the only one. They couldn’t handle a big loss. Not with the amount of money they definitely had to spend on Applejack.
Of course it would be Barley, Applejack’s horse, that would have a problem. A potentially pricey problem. Because she couldn’t stop being a money pit, even when it wasn’t her. If something were to happen to Barley, not only would that be a blow to the family, but he never even got to sire any foals. That would be a potential loss of money.
No, it wasn’t right to just think of Barley as an asset, at least not when he was in pain. Barley was Applejack’s horse, her companion. They’d been together through a lot. It was sad to think, but Barley was probably Applejack’s oldest, most reliable friend. Did he miss her? Would he still trust her?
Applejack swallowed a lump as she moved to rub her scalp instead. After loosening her clenched fist, her head pulsed in protest. She really had to stop that habit before it fully came back again. That was one thing that not wearing a hat didn’t help with.
Eventually, the city turned to empty acreage, which meant a slower ride since the roads had turned from snow to icy snow, just like Strawberry had warned. Thistle didn’t seem too happy, but at least he kept it to himself. That was good, Applejack didn’t think she had it in her to care if he had gotten verbally upset. It was like she’d gone numb all of a sudden.
All she could do was watch the snow fall and wait until they got to the ranch.