//------------------------------// // Not Exactly Steve Irwin // Story: Stranger in a Strange Land // by Andrew Joshua Talon //------------------------------// Not exactly Steve Irwin... thankfully "You know I can see you, right?" Ryan asked, as he relaxed in his chair and sipped his cider, the warmth of the sun soothing his recent injuries from fighting his possessed aunt. "Twilight built it for me," Fluttershy replied softly, finding herself feeling much less anxious inside the boulder disguise that she was using to observe him. Prince of Equestria or not, he was a human, a legendary creature that hadn't been seen or documented in centuries and she was excited to be able to take notes on his habits. "And it looks a lot like a boulder, I wouldn't have suspected it was anything but, except for the moving and speaking parts," he told her. "Sparkle did a good job." "It was very nice of her," Fluttershy said. "Normally I have to spend days gaining animals trust and bribing them with food to get close to them to find out what they are like." Ryan nodded. He hadn't expected to find a naturalist stalking him, but she was definitely a lot more pleasant to deal with than the paparazzi that he usually had to put up with. "You could just have walked up and asked me," he pointed out. "Oh no, I couldn't do that," Fluttershy said, even more grateful for the fake boulder she was concealed in. "I don't... I have a hard time... New people..." "Say no more," he said, holding up a hand, "I understand completely." "Really?" "Everywhere I go people stare at me, either because of who I am or what I am," he explained, "it can really wear you down at times." "I'm not making you uncomfortable am I?" she asked anxiously. "Not at all," he assured her, finding the entire situation amusing. "Even if I was the nervous sort, I've had a couple of ciders, so I'm fine." "Cider relaxes you?" she asked, pencil scribbling away on her notepad. "Yes it most certainly does," he agreed. "Would you like one? I have plenty." "If... If you don't mind," Fluttershy agreed. Ryan passed a bottle through the viewing slit in the 'boulder'. Thirty Minutes Later "Where is he?" Twilight asked, looking around for the prince, before noticing the fake boulder she'd made to help Fluttershy in her research next to the prince's empty chair. "She can't see us!" giggled the butter yellow pegasus. "I have got to get one of these for myself," Ryan whispered loudly, the boulder shifting as the two moved around inside it. Twilight just stared. "How did you two fit in there? I only built it to fit Fluttershy." "It wasn't easy," Ryan said, "but this thing does fit two ponies comfortably or at least one pony and one human." "They just have to be close friends," the pegasus joked, before the two dissolved into laughter. Twilight shook her head. "I'm fairly sure there is not nearly enough room for two ponies to comfortably fit in there." She paused as she noticed the pile of clothes behind his chair and the numerous empty bottles of cider. "Are you two naked?!" "We're not naked," Fluttershy huffed, before the fake rock wiggled around and she was hit in the face with a bra. "You take that back!" "You tell her," Ryan cheered her on, "we've still got out underclothes and socks on!" A bottle of cider floated out of the ice chest and vanished through the slit. "Celestia help me," the lavender unicorn groaned. Technically, as a Prince, Ryan was entitled to stay in the finest house in Ponyville. The Riches had even offered their home up. But the Prince had instead opted for the Sweet Apple Acres Farmhouse, given that's where he had landed once Nightmare Moon had realized he was just a distraction. That and the Apples were gracious. Their guest bedroom was cozy, comfortable, and simple: All things Ryan had come to associate with home. They also prepared wonderful breakfasts... Not that Ryan could really appreciate it that much, given how terrible he felt. "Heheheh," Granny Smith chuckled as she put a plate of pancakes and eggs in front of the prince, "too much cider, eh Prince Ryan?" "It was so good," Ryan groaned. Granny nodded as she pulled out a seat, and sat down next to him. "Thank ya kindly, but yeh gotta watch yerself if yer gonna indulge," she said, "who knows who might try t' take advantage?" Ryan immediately held up his hands and shook his head... Then immediately regretted it as he closed his eyes in pain. "I-I didn't take advantage of Fluttershy! I swear!" "You'd best not have," Applejack growled, glaring from across the table. Big Macintosh was his usual stoic self. Applebloom blinked innocently. "What's take advantage of-?" "Never you mind, Applebloom!" Applejack said quickly. "Now now, ya know th' Prince, Applejack," Granny said, patting Ryan on the palm, "he wouldn't do any such thing!" "And Fluttershy wouldn't take advantage of 'im neither!" Applejack said fiercely. "Please, no yelling," Ryan moaned. Big Mac swiftly got up, went to the cupboard, and mixed several things together-Eggs, pepper, and a shot of some clear spirit. He mixed it up, and set it in front of Ryan. "Ah, that'll help," Granny said. "Jest don't-" Ryan took the glass and threw it back... And came forward coughing and wheezing. "Oh geez! By Tartarus that is nasty!" "Yer supposed to drink it with yer nose pinched shut," Granny said wryly. Ryan winced. "Oh..." Still, his hangover was clearing. Enough he could see Applejack's glare clearly. "Yeh had better take some o' the Wake Up Juice to Fluttershy, too," Granny suggested. "Applejack? Go with him, he still needs help." "I-" Granny's firm glare convinced the Prince to not argue, "yes ma'am. Thank you, Duchess Ponyville. And Lady Ponyville." "Ah told ya," Applejack hissed, "don't call me that!" Applejack got up, picked Ryan up like a sack of potatoes, and dumped him in his wheelchair before pushing him out the door. Applebloom beamed. "So... You think ah could get a 'nursin' a Prince back to health' Cutie Mark?" "Nnope," Big Macintosh stated. "Maybe assassinatin' a prince cutie mark," Granny joked. Applebloom beamed. "But don't even think about it!" Granny warned. "Aww!" - - - The path to Fluttershy's cottage wasn't that rough, yet Applejack seemed to find every pothole and bump the whole way. Ryan winced, but gamely put up with it without complaining. For about five minutes. "Seriously, what's the big deal?" Ryan whined, "your family knows you're all nobility!" "Don't remind me," Applejack grumbled. "Aw come on," Ryan said, gripping the armrests tightly, "what's so bad about being nobility?" "You have met th' nobles in Canterlot, right?" Applejack deadpanned, lifting Ryan up over a log and setting him down hard. "That was when we were both kids, some of them are okay," Ryan said, "Blueblood's still a nice guy." "Ah know, ah know, but if everypony knows, it'll change everything," Applejack sighed, "and ah don't want that, okay?" "Okay, okay, I won't say a word, promise," Ryan said, holding up a hand, "Prince's Honor." Applejack slowed their pace as they approached Fluttershy's cottage. "Thank you... Sorry fer the rough handling." She sighed. "It... Ain't easy to bring up. Ah keep those worlds separate." "Wish I could do that," Ryan sighed. Applejack squeezed his shoulder gently with a warm smile. "You know we won't treat you no different." "I know," Ryan said with a smile. He looked up at Fluttershy's door, as Applejack rolled him up to it. He knocked on the door, and cleared his throat. "Fluttershy? Are you there?" He called. A groan answered them. Slowly, the door opened a crack. A bleary eye peered out. "Hello... Prince... Ryan," Fluttershy managed. "Ah, listen," Ryan said, rubbing the back of his head, "I'm sorry about how things got yesterday-Uh, here" he held out the Wake Up Juice to Fluttershy, "this will help with the hangover. Just-" Fluttershy pinched her nose before she threw back the bottle. "Yeah, that," Ryan finished. Fluttershy almost immediately perked up, a smile on her face as the potion did its work. "W-Wow... Um... Y-Yes, thank you, Your Highness-" "Ryan, please, we've been over this," Ryan said, smiling warmly back at her. She blushed, and nodded. "Y-Yes, of course," she murmured, "Um... R-Ryan... Um... If... If it's all right... Can we... T-Talk more? About humans?" "Any time you want," Ryan said, and he felt Applejack's smile behind him, "after I've had some more rest. Is that okay?" "Oh, um, y-yes, I need to cuddle with some orphaned wild boar cubs, anyway," Fluttershy said. Ryan nodded. "Oh, uh... One other thing..." He leaned forward, lowering his voice, "I'm missing my... Undergarments from yesterday. Do you know where they are?" Fluttershy looked down, blushing. "Um... Oh! The-the piglets need me-I'll see if I can find them-B-Bye!" She shut the door. Ryan blinked. "Did she just-?" "Don't worry about it," Applejack said, turning him around and wheeling him back down the path.