//------------------------------// // Y'know // Story: Lupin III: Horseshoes and Hand Grenades // by Abremelinthemagus //------------------------------// Trixie watched the two Hyoo-manes with annoyed disinterest as they continued to yammer about the implications of things that most foals took for granted. Seriously the fact that she of all ponies had to explain Equestria’s government to them was already a major red flag for ther intelligence. At first being helped, not saved Trixie could save herself, by too members of a species she’d never heard of before was admittedly rather interesting but after about an hour of getting to know them the novelty had absolutely worn off. Certainly the fact that they had helped themselves to her supplies hadn’t exactly helped the matter especially with how hard food, let alone good alcohol was to come across. “Moving the sun! I’m telling you this Celestia is some kind of authoritarian cult leader!” Yelled the sideburned biped named Lupin with screechy conviction as his bearded companion, Jigen simply harrumphed and lowered his hat even further over his eyes. “Listen after the crap we’ve seen today I’m pretty willing to bet she actually does raise the sun.” Said Jigen puffing on his strange extraordinarily thin pipe whose presence caused Trixie to cough in close proximity. Normally Trixie was used to the smoke being no stranger to dens of sin and vice, but whatever he was smoking was at least twice as pungent as the most pungent Abyssinian Tobacco. “Please are you telling me a Kardashev two civilization wouldn’t have invented automated transport!” He said gesturing towards Trixie’s wagon in a manner that made her feel slightly offended. “They’re freaking magic Horses Lupin of course they wouldn’t have invented cars! Besides everyone here has magic so maybe they just summoned a Caplan Thruster! Or hell move it with magic.” “Hey you know as well as I do that a Caplan Thruster would just move the solar system! The world would still rotate around the sun normally!” “Well maybe the planets in tidal lock or some crap, and either way it isn’t our problem.” Said Jigen leaning as he scanned for more of the trail mix that he and his compatriot had been, ‘helping themselves to’ much to Trixie’s chagrin as Lupin downed another whole packet into his mouth. “Trust me it’ll be our problem soon.” He said between intermittent crunching. “It wouldn’t be if you didn’t send us here in the first place!” Said Jigen “Like it wouldn’t have happened anyways!” Replied Lupin. “The reason this crap always freaking happens is because of you!” “And it’s because of me that it always work out in the end!” That’s it, taking her hospitality was one thing but Trixie refused to be subjected to their petty infighting especially if it wasn’t over which one was more deserving to be in her presence. “Are you two done throwing Tantrums or will Trixie have to seal your mouths shut?” She yelled horn glowing, which causing them to freeze. Of course she absolutely lacked the power to do so but at the moment her two guests didn’t know that. Trixie trotted between the two of them and lifted up several bags of food with her telekinesis. “Besides you vagrants owe Trixie for letting you share her fire, especially after taking a full weeks worth of her supplies.” “Sorry.. you’re right.” Said Lupin ruffling his coat before giving Jigen one last glare. “I guess the two of us haven’t exactly been model house-er trailer guests.” He said bowing his head slightly awkwardly still with that catlike smile. “Unfortunately.” He said pulling out his pocekts, “Besides some foreign currency and cigarettes we don’t really have much on us.” “Great.” Groaned Trixie, the only people who’d try and group up with her were even worse off than her. Truly her famous selflessness was really paying off. “But.” Said Lupin before Trixie could make another snap at the two, “If you give us a few days we can more than make it up to you.” He said eyes now half cocked suggestively. “If you’re implying what Trixie thinks your implying, it won’t be your mouth that’ll get sealed shut..” She growled causing Lupin to wince. “What.. oh wait God no.” He said shocked and just a bit horrified. “What I mean is that me and my associate have a very particular set of skills that can be quite useful when it comes to.. compensation.” His eyebrows almost seemed to ride a rollercoaster on that last word as the realization dawned on Trixie. “You two are thieves.” She whispered to herself. Not just burglars, or hoodlums but honest to harmony professional thieves. At her disposal no less! Now Trixie wasn’t exactly the kind of Mare who’d steal from others herself but she was by no means too moral to pass down this kind of opportunity. “Oh not just any thieves.” Said Lupin with obvious pride. “I’d say we’re probably the world’s best. Wouldn’t you agree Jigen?” “Mhmm.” Hummed Jigen lighting another one of his strange disposable pipes. “But wait.” Said Trixie as a newfound skepticism begun to flood her mind. “If you poni-hyoomanes are such great thieves how come you freak out at basic magic? Let alone not know who Celestia is.” “You’re right.” Said Lupin giving himself a playful slap. “I should’ve said we’re OUR world’s best thieves. As you can probably tell we aren’t exactly from around here. But the point still stands, anything you want, we can absolutely get.” “Anything?” She asked quizzically. “Yep anything you want, bank vaults, jewlery, classified documents. Hell give us a week and I’d imagine we could steal the crown right off of Princess Celenia-“ “Celestia” She corrected. “Right, right off of Princess Celestia’s head!” On one hand that was quite a claim and the ‘our world’s best thieves’ was a pretty easy excuse to make and even if it was true, it was entirely possible that the security where they come from was laughable compared to what you’d find in a one clerk bank in Appleloosa. Still the sheer amount of confidence the being exhuded combined with the reflexes they showed when fighting off the Tarrasque did a fair amount of work in bolstering Trixie’s confidence in these two odd creatures. Trixie rubbed the underside of her muzzle before a sinister smirk came across her face. “Well there is one thing…” "And that is?" Asked Lupin with a fair bit of curiosity. "How are you at stealing ancient cursed artifacts?"