Twilight decided that morning that she was going to admit defeat. There was nothing left to try; no trick, no spell, no means whatsoever of getting us back to our own universe. There were no more ``dusty old books” to be found.
It had been three years since me and Eric arrived. Each day was spent hypothesizing, testing, and ultimately rejecting every approach they could think of for creating an inter-universal spell that could send us home. Now, though, she was finally ready to stop. There was no way, no how, no theory left unexplored.
We were going to live out our lives in this reality, never to see our friends and loved ones again. Eric would never travel the Earth, and I would never travel on Sodor trackage.
A great, reliable steam locomotive such as myself, with seventy years of service under Sodor's ownership, gone in just a day.
Twilight stepped onto her private train, entered an empty passenger car, and sat down in the small library section. She winced as the engine moved forward, jolting the three long coaches behind.
She watched the city of Canterlot move by as the train gained speed. The tall, white buildings and lavish parks give way to the expansive landscape of Equestria. She felt her ears flatten as she thought about me and Eric, knowing this was to be our home.
She had to tell us, today, that Equestria was to be our home. Forever. Her mind raced, wondering about how we would react. What we would think of her. If her friends, the princesses, everypony would reject her.
If she even deserved them after failing to do this one thing.
As the private train rolled down Canterhorn Mountain, Twilight began to cry.
By Royal Request over the telegraph, me and my crew were parked in a lone siding that lay within an expansive field. An American cowcatcher hung from my buffers, and knuckle couplers replaced my old hook and chain couplers.
I took in a deep breath, feeling dry steam churn inside my superheater. I sifted through stories of the past. Happenings on both Sodor and the Furness Railway. Some were mundane, others adventurous, and even more were supernatural. I paid little mind to my crew, who were conversing in my cab about the day's events.
I watched a large purple locomotive slowly pull into the siding in front of us. The engine - a streamlined 4-6-2 from the Pennsylvania Railroad - stopped several feet in front of me, releasing steam.
Twilight and Luna stepped out of the forward coach, the former’s ears flattening upon seeing me.
“Oh. Good afternoon, Luna. Twilight,” I greeted as the two walked towards me.
“Good afternoon, Edward, Eric, Brimstone, and Thorax,” Luna greeted back as she and Twilight sat down in front of me, next to the tracks. “I hope you have been well?”
“For the most part,” Eric replied.
“Why did you want us to stop?” I asked. “We have work to do.”
Luna took a deep breath in. “I’m afraid you will be unable to work for the next week. Possibly more.”
I widened my eyes in surprise. “What? Why? Is something wrong?”
Luna looked at Twilight, a grim expression appearing on her face as she gave a nod to the smaller princess. Twilight closed her eyes and took a deep breath in.
After letting her breath out, she opened her eyes and began to speak.
“Edward, Eric… It’s been three years,” she slowly began. “For three years, I’ve been doing everything I can to find an inter-universal spell to get you two back to Sodor. I’ve tried looped portals, portals that only open once every few moons… and even spells that would send you there, with no way of coming back here. I’ve asked for help everywhere, read every book…”
My fire and frames began turning to ice, likewise for Eric and his blood.
“I don’t know how to put this,” Twilight quivered, her voice failing as tears formed in her eyes. She took a deep breath, trying to contain herself.
“You’re not going home. I can’t do anything else. Me, Luna, Cadance, Celestia… We’ve tried everything. Nothing works. We can’t send you back home.”
I look down at my buffers, feeling the inside of my boiler twist around itself. My eyebrows lowered and pulled closer, my facing contorting to that of dismay, but also that of acceptance.
“I take it you have been preparing for this moment?” Luna asked.
“Yes,” me and Eric replied, our voices strangled.
“We have,” I finished. “We knew it was going to happen eventually.”
“Edward, I really did try everything,” Twilight said. “I’d give up my Alicornhood if it meant you could go home-”
“Twilight, It’s fine,” I interrupted, glancing at the young princess. “I believe you. I suppose It’s just… my destiny to stay here. To continue innovating and improving Equestria to my best ability.”
“And you have done a splendid job doing so,” Luna cooed, doing her best to keep her voice from failing. “Equestria has never been in a better form than it is now, and it is all thanks to you.”
I didn’t reply, instead staring at my buffers, my jaw slightly agape as words strangled my ability to speak.
“Edward?” Luna asked.
“...Yes?” I asked back, quivering.
“Would you like me to clear the line to Ponyville?”
“...Yes…. I would prefer that.”
That evening, Eric entered Fluttershy’s cottage.
“Oh! Hello, Eric! I didn’t expect you to be back so soon,” Fluttershy greeted in a happy, soft tone.
Eric said nothing, choosing instead to stare at her with a weary, heartbroken expression.
Fluttershy’s eyes widened. She knew that look. She knew what had happened.
Tears forming in her eyes, Fluttershy stepped toward Eric and wrapped him in a hug. Eric hugged her back, and the two sit down, melting into each other’s embrace.
In that moment, the Thestral and Pegasus became one.
That evening, Brimstone entered his house in Ponyville. Inside waited his adopted son, who looked at him with wonder.
“What happened?” the colt asked. “Why do you look sad?”
Brimstone stared at him. Tears welled up in his eyes as he bent down to hug the young colt, who instinctively hugged back.
Cadance and Shining Armor tightly hugged a sobbing Thorax, the former covering the young changeling with her wings. None said a word as they lay in bed together, Thorax in between the two like he was their son.
I was alone in my shed, my eyes weary after having just woken up. I looked at the clock above, scowling when I saw how early it was.
No other trains would be out for hours.
Knowing this, I lit my fire and built up pressure. My safety valves hissed as I pushed against the shed doors, snapping a lock and flinging them open. After turning on my light, I slowly puffed through the tiny railyard, forcing my way onto the main line.
I stopped, staring down the long straight stretch of track that lay before me. In recent times, the line running by Ponyville was completely revamped to allow extremely high speeds, complete with three total tracks for most of the line.
I had always wondered how fast I could truly go if I put my pistons to it. Just me and a clear stretch of track.
I took in a deep breath, feeling my superheater churn with dry steam.
HISS!
My wheels bit the rails, launching me forward down the track. Steam poured out of my funnel as I gained speed. My siderods went faster and faster, showing no signs of vibration due to the lightweight, perfectly balanced nature of my gearing.
I went faster than Thomas. Faster than James. Faster than Henry. I even felt like I was moving faster than Gordon and his express.
There were no thoughts going through my mind. Only this sudden need for speed I had.
I forged on like the Military Commander I was, flying around bends and dashing through tunnels as I headed west, still increasing in speed. I became a bright blue blur, steaming through forests like a runaway train.
Finally, I slammed my air brakes into emergency. I felt my weight transfer forward, which helped my braking power due to the newly installed brakes on my pilot wheels.
I slowed down to a more comfortable pace, watching and listening to the tracks beneath me.
I felt lost. Like I was falling apart. I didn’t feel lonely. Rather, I felt a complete lack of hope.
I knew I had friends, I knew that I was in a very good place as far as my life was concerned.
Yet inside I felt.. empty. An aching hole inside my boiler.
I was so broken, I didn’t even know where I was by the time morning came.
Inhale…
Exhale…
Inhale…
Exhale…
Sorry. It’s just… incredibly hard for me to get through this part, even after so long.
Ahem
For weeks, I couldn’t bring myself to do work. I shut myself away, pushing away everypony that tried talking to me. I didn’t cry, nor did I openly mourn. I simply sat still with my eyes closed, trapped in my own thoughts. In my own bubble.
Luna tried letting me pull a special train from Canterlot to Manehattan. Suffice to say, it went horribly. I didn’t steam well, I felt slower and weaker than ever, and I missed two signals which nearly caused me to collide with another train.
Back to my shed I went, trying to get over myself. For days, I sat parked inside, not moving, doing what I previously described. Sticking to my own bubble.
There came a point when I finally did want to cry. The feeling was completely foreign, and I didn’t know what to think.
"Edward?" the ever-familiar voice of Princess Luna called out.
I winced. "What is it, Luna?"
I looked over at the midnight Alicorn, watching her peer in from one of the shed doors.
"I was wondering if you would please take the time to come out of your shed, if for a short while."
I sighed. "What for?"
"Just... Could you please come outside? It is a surprise."
I eyed her suspiciously, thinking about it before silently letting steam into my cylinders. She smiled with glee, running back outside much too eagerly.
I slowly pushed the shed doors open. The warm sun shines down on me for the first time in days as I roll out of the shed.
My eyes widen as I see a full-force symphony orchestra outside. Their stands stood on and next to the tracks with close to a hundred ponies lying in wait, their instruments ready and raring to go.
I stop suddenly, finding it hard to take in the sight.
"Luna," I say, looking at the mare who was walking up to a separate stand where my crew and the other princesses were. "What is this?"
Luna giggled. "Why, you remember our promise of letting you be the first to hear your very own theme song, do you not?"
Before I could respond, Luna waved her hoof, and the orchestra began.
A combination of cellos, clarinets, flutes, sand blocks and tambourines kicked off the tune. They started slow, like a steam engine picking up speed. The tune accelerated as a bass, soprano saxophone, cowbell, and djembe joined in. Each and every instrument sang in perfect harmony. Soon enough, the violins joined in, only elevating the song.
I felt my frames shudder as I listened to the song, taking in the symphony that was my own theme song. There were few places in which only a single instrument played. There were no fancy solos, no big moments for any of the instruments. They all played as one. Not too slow, not too fast. Like an old engine simply making its way down the track.
For the first time in weeks, a smile made its way onto my face. A smile of pure unadulterated happiness.
And for the first time ever, I actually cried.
While those few minutes didn't completely cure my grief, it was a massive help. With the song stuck in my head, I was able to come back out and work trains again.
That being said, it would take a long time for me to truly get over my grief, likewise for Eric. It took him a year to get over it, largely due to Fluttershy’s efforts to comfort him. Those two became inseparable.
We would have a serious talk that lasted hours after he came to me. That conversation would end in us fully accepting our fates, vowing that we would fully embrace life in Equestria.
Eric and Fluttershy would marry just days after our acceptance. During the wedding, that same orchestra came out again and played what would come to be known as Toby's theme. That would start a chain reaction of creating themes for most of my friends, of which I am forever grateful.
If you remember my passing mention of wanting to become a Therapist, I decided to pursue the job. I did remarkably well in the beginning, using my extensive knowledge to help those in need and becoming one of the best therapists in Equestria. With a little help from Princess Luna, of course.
I would continue to help bolster the railways of Equestria in any way I could for as long as I could. But, as the years drew on, parts of my knowledge became outdated, replaced by better methods created by the brilliant minds of creatures all around Equestria. Of course, I would be the first to know about the methods, and would be one of those that approved them.
Time marched on. I continued to be maintained and upgraded with the latest tried and tested parts. My hundredth birthday passed, which would be celebrated at the very top of Canterhorn Mountain, which would be known as “Edward’s Point”.
As the years passed, my crew would retire one by one, save for Thorax, who became my driver. Having become a “King Changeling”; via an incident I’ll have to explain on another day, he was given a much longer life. As was his brother, Pharynx, who became an actual king of the changeling hive.
Inhale
Something would later happen as the years turned into decades.
I was in Manehattan when I had gotten a call from Princess Cadance telling me that Eric was deathly ill in the Crystal Empire Hospital and that I had to get there as quickly as I could.
In the yard with me happened to be LMS Number 3699, better known as “Fury”. It was an experimental 4-6-0 express engine designed to operate at 1400 to 1800 pounds of pressure. While it was never much of a success in Britain, it was fast, and it was economical.
With that in mind, we coupled Fury and two canteen tenders behind me, and I was given emergency clearance all the way to the Crystal Empire.
When we arrived at the Empire, the Turbomotive was almost out of fuel… and Eric was still alive, having been wheeled out so I could see him. Fluttershy, Twilight, and Cadance were already there.
"Eric! Oh thank god I managed to get here in time," I said as I stopped next to the station platform.
I felt my boiler sink as I saw the state he was in. This jaded old stallion, once a human, lying on his deathbed in the warm spring sun.
"Edward," my former driver said, smiling as he sees me. "It's good to see you. You as well, Thorax."
Thorax smiled as he stepped out of my cab. In place of his small, black changeling self, is instead a tall bright green form. "H-Hey, Eric. It's um... been a while."
Eric chuckled. "Yes, it really has been. I see you've become Edward's driver."
Thorax nodded as he sat down next to Eric.
Eric looked at me. "You've been keeping secrets, ya old bastard."
My jaw dropped. "You never asked!"
The stallion only smiled for a few seconds. Soon, he sighed.
"I can't believe I actually made it to a deathbed," he weakly said, staring into space. "I thought I would've snuffed it decades back..."
"But you didn't," I replied. "You kept going like the hard man you've always been."
Eric let out a weak chuckle. "Too true, old boy. But... I still can't believe it. I'm actually about to die."
"Don't be sad, Eric," I said. "I just know you'll be going to a new life. If that revenant theory is anything to believe, you'll be revitalized as a non-faceless vehicle. Maybe you'll even get to see Sodor again."
Another weak chuckle escaped him. "Maybe... And, Thorax... I'm glad to have worked with you as my conductor and friend."
A tear welled up in Thorax's eyes. "I loved working with you too."
"Now, I know I'm gonna be snuffing it soon, so Edward, Thorax..."
Myself and the changeling looked at him expectedly.
"I don't know when you two are going to pass, but you two had better keep going for as long as you damn well please. Don't let anyone tell you to snuff without giving them the hardest time you can. You deserve to go out on your own terms, no matter what."
"We will, old boy," me and Thorax stated in unison.
Eric would die only thirty minutes later, leaving everyone present in agony. Brimstone was almost as torn as I was, since he didn't even get to say goodbye. The poor chap was wallowing in his home for days. Me and Thorax were the same way, taking a week off from work to give ourselves time to cope.
And, the truth is... For as much hate as LMS's Fury gets, if I hadn't had an engine that could cruise happily at nearly a hundred and fifty miles an hour without refueling once... I would never have gotten to see my friend one final time. So, in this engine's opinion, Fury is... is an alright engine.
Brimstone was next. He would pass at age 70 in his sleep, just six months after Eric's death.
I took his death much better than Eric’s, despite not being able to say goodbye. I, sadly, have nothing to say about his death, other than it put me in another depressed mood for at least a fortnight.
One of my most cherished journeys would come from one that was, for all intents and purposes, routine. What made it different, however, was the mare in the driver's seat.
At the amazing age of 102, Fluttershy was the sweetest, softest creature anyone could want. It didn’t matter who you were. She always found sympathy. She was practically everyone’s great-grandmother.
Though her health had been declining for years, the old pegasus still had the strength to sit down in the driving seat of my cab. She grabbed my throttle and pulled it open, gently blew my whistle, and drove me and the massive Farewell Train behind me all the way from Canterlot to Ponyville.
A few days later, she sat still on her deathbed, inside my shed. With the doctors gone, she stared at me and the other princesses present, as content as could be.
“Thank you for keeping Eric happy until his last day,” I say.
Fluttershy let out a soft, weak giggle. “You’re welcome, Edward,” she says, weakly. “I was at my happiest when I was with him…”
“Likewise when he was with you,” I reply.
“No, he was at his happiest when he was with you…”
I take in a soft, quivering breath.
“I suppose he was.”
“I hope you keep living… I hope you all keep living,” she said, glancing at the princesses sitting near her. “For as long as you can.”
“While we understand it is your time to go, Fluttershy” Luna begins, “We truly wish you could be with us longer.”
Fluttershy giggled again. “I do too… But that won't take away all the memories I’ve made with you and the others.”
She looked at Twilight, whose eyes had already started to water.
“What’s wrong, Twilight?” she asked.
“I… I just don’t want you to leave me…” the taller, much more regal purple Alicorn replied. “I-I’ve already lost the others. I don’t want to lose you too…”
“Don’t worry Twilight. I’ll be with you forever. Right?”
“Y-Yes, but…” Twilight struggled as her words strangled her throat.
“Shhhhh,” Fluttershy cooed. “It’s okay, Twilight. I’ve lived my life. You need to keep living yours, even after I’m gone.”
Twilight hiccuped.
“Thank you for all those amazing memories, Twilight. I hope we can meet again, even if it isn’t in this universe.”
“I… hic… I hope we do too…”
Fluttershy looked back at me. “And thanks for the memories you gave me, Edward.”
I weakly chuckle. “It has been my pleasure, Fluttershy. Thank you for your service to Equestria.”
“You’re welcome. And thank you… for your service…”
“You are welcome, my dear. Que Sera, Sera.”
Fluttershy closed her eyes.
"Que Sera... Sera..."
With that, she drifted off to her infinite sleep. Another legendary life gone to the everlasting sands of time.
And that… was the second and time I had ever cried.
While I cried, I noticed Twilight leaving the shed through one of the doors. But even with the tracks of tears on my face, I very distinctly remember seeing Twilight’s expression contort from that of complete sorrow…
…to that of complete hatred.
It would be the last I would ever see of her.
Just a few days later, I was pulling a double-headed train with Sierra Railway Number Three. It was an exhibition freight train, showing the power of us older locomotives in such a modern time.
We were heading towards Ponyville from the south, coming from Appleloosa. I could quite clearly see Canterlot far in the distance. I smiled at the familiar sight, admiring the magnificent city, knowing I'd be arriving at it soon to give Twilight her therapy.
Then everything exploded.
Bright lavender smoke poured from the city, shooting into the sky and falling down the mountain, practically engulfing it.
Back then, I had no idea what it was. Even today, I’m not quite sure of it. But all I knew was that the demonic cloud was engulfing everything in its path.
There was only one thing on my mind: Run.
Pumping our pistons hard, me and Sierra #3 broke away from our train and took off down the line. We were diverted west, away from Ponyville at top speed.
Me and #3 went faster and faster down the line, doing our damnedest to outrun the cloud which slowly gained. With Thorax in my cab, and the crew of #3 not being pegasi, an idea flew into my funnel.
“Thorax! Grab #3’s crew and get them the hell out of here!” I yelled.
“B-But Edward, what about you?!” Thorax asked, leaning out of my cab.
“I’ll be fine! Just grab the crew and GO!” I barked.
After briefly hesitating, Thorax nodded. “Alright. Be safe, Edward!”
The changeling took off from my cab and grabbed the crew of #3, and the trio disappeared.
I continued on with #3 puffing behind me with the dark lavender cloud nipping at the coupling. The tracks took us west; FAR west, to the furthest reaches of Equestria. We passed by the Furness Railway Museum and went further into Bridlefield.
But as I continued, I began going slower. My boiler pressure began to drop, and my fire began to die.
An infernal sickness filled my boiler as we slowed to a stop. “No…”
It dawned on me that we were out of fuel. I couldn’t move, and neither could #3. We had completely expended every ounce of steam, coal, and water.
And when the cloud hit us, the next few days were nothing but lavender.
When the smoke dissipated, we sat there, unmoving, not knowing what to do. We had no crew, no fuel, no way to send for help. I could see a the Zephyr Mountain Mining Facility far in the distance, perched on a mountaintop, but couldn’t do anything to have them notice us.
So we sat there, waiting.
Days began to pass.
We couldn’t move.
Days turned into weeks.
We couldn’t move.
Weeks turned into months.
The grass around us grew taller, reaching our wheels. We watched hundreds upon thousands of saplings sprout from the ground.
Months turned to years.
What was once a field that belonged to an impressive mining town several miles ahead slowly became a thick forest. The tracks beneath us rusted, but the ballast held firm.
Bushes and trees grew all around us, removing any chance of pegasi spotting us from the air.
Not that they would have been able to, anyway.
Our titanium frames and tungsten boilers held up against nature, allowing us to survive even the harshest elements for long periods of time. It's amazing how well they held up.
There was always a part of me that wished I wasn’t lasting so long. That I could just die and be rid of this hell. I did everything I could to move. To do anything.
Then we started embracing the situation by living in our dreams.
Years turned to c̶e̷n̶t̸u̶r̷i̶e̴s̴.̴.̶.̷
We had accepted our fate and dreamed our dreams.
Never scared of what we’d find.
For it was all just in our mind.
Whatever we encountered could never compare to the things that lived outside.
We had drifted off to sleep, reality a memory.