//------------------------------// // The Picnic // Story: Spike: The Unwilling God of Chaos // by Silver Butcher //------------------------------// Fluttershy hummed a happy tune as she, Pinkie Pie, And Gingerbread the Mare made their way to Castle Chaos For the Harmony Chaos Peace Picnic, As the event wasn't due to start for another hour Pinkie Had decided to head over as she was confident they would be doing a Pre-Picnic Party of some kind and had run into Fluttershy on the way. "So," Pinkie asked curiously as she bounced Circles around her friend, with Gingerbread giddily doing tiny hops behind them in an attempt to copy Pinky. "What brings you out to the festivity so early?" "Oh, I just wanted to check in before the Picnic and get a report on how Lars is doing, He has allergies this time of year and I just wanted to make sure he's being taken care of without making a big scene of it," "Ah," Pinkie cooed "I'm just hoping they'll agree to help me demonstrate the concept of an After Party to Gingerbread, She's kind of hit a learning curve, I think she might be a little...slow," Pinkie frowned as she looked back and saw Gingerbread take several steps, do a little hop, seemingly startle herself in the process, and then quickly run to catch up again after a pause and repeat the process. "I'm pretty sure that since Rust didn't purposely bring Gingerbread to a life she ended up not being all there. Sometimes she starts screaming in the Bath starts crying for me to save her," "Oh, have you talked to Havok about it?" "Nope," Pinkie replied simply "Now that Gingerbread is real I doubt there's much Havok could do for her, He can't mess with Ponies mind and now that she's sentient that rule probably applies to Gingerbread, she wasn't fully baked, and there's nothing I or anyone else can do for her but make sure she's taken care of," Pinkie stood proud with a fire burning in her eyes "And you better believe there's no pony better suited for the Job that Pinkamena Diane Pie!" Pinkie walked proudly, taking care to keep most of her attention on Gingerbread until the reached their destination and found that they had somehow been among the last ones to show up. "Are you guys pranking me?" Havok demanded as he turned to Rainbow Dash, who was chilling on a low handing cloud with Storm. "I swear you guys said noon," "We did," Applejack called, her angry gaze never once turning away from Rot, who was sitting surrounded by vines waiting to push Applejack back should she advance towards her "I just wanted this little snot to apologize before we start," "The Pumpkin Patch wasn't even my Idea," Rot shot back angrily, "I told you it was Storm's stupid prank," "You also told me you chose the Apple orchard to do the prank," Applejack shot back angrily. "Where the hell else was I supposed to spawn in a Giant Pumpkin Patch," Rot shot back angrily. "I don't care if it wasn't your idea, you chose to location," Applejack hit the ground angrily before pointing at Rot "Apologise," She Demanded "Never," Rot shot back "Chaos won't apologize for anything until Twilight Apologises for Weponizing Fluttershy," "Would you two please just settle down," Rarity pleaded as she and Storm sat across from one another at a table set up for Tea, Neither said anything to the other as Rarity did her best to try and get over the events of the morning that had lead to her and Storm having tea. Rarity lay in silence on her fainting couch, trying to think of some way she could Apologize to Spike for what she had said to him while he was Havok. While she lay there, running scenarios through her mind she heard to would of tea whistling and looked up to find Sweetie holding a cup up to her. Rarity took it and simply lay in silence. "Your Storm aren't you?" She asked, doing her best to keep it together, "That's why she hates me so much isn't it?" Rarity looked over and was met with the sight of Storm calmly sipping from her own tea cup. Rarity sat up and drank from the cup Storm had given her, The two sat in silence and after a moment Storm smiled. "Hm, I half expected you to be fuming with rage, and half expected some half-assed apology," "I want to apologize," Rarity replied simply "But I can't think of anything I could say that wouldn't come off as me trying to make you feel bad for me," Rarity took another sip and Storm shrugged. "Frankly, that might have been the closet thing to an apology from you I can believe, but the song of Brutal Honesty rings true, and I guess one of those many Flaws you were talking about is that I'm just not a forgiving person," "A truce then?" Rarity asked "Until I can find a way to truly apologize to you," Storm said nothing and Rarity took that as her offer being accepted for the time being. Rarity and Storm continue their quiet Tea time while Fluttershy made her way to Larz and Vile while Rust and Havok met up with Pinkie and Gingerbread. "Hi," Gingerbread greeted Havok happily "How are you doing daddy?" Havok looked like he was trying very hard not to laugh at the use of the word Daddy. "I'm doing swell," Havok chuckled "How about you Mommy?" Rust also had to hold back a laugh. "Oh, I'm fine, not much of the motherly type obviously since we had to trust or first baked to Pinkie to keep her safe," Rust began devolving into laughter as soon as she said first baked but Gingerbread didn't seem to mind or notice it as Havok summoned one of the sentient Armors and gave it the command of entertaining Gingerbread, the Armor proceeded to do a tiny hop and Gingerbread was stolen away by it as she began telling it about her experiences in the world of bouncing. With Gingerbread away Pinkie began filling in Havok on her worries that Gingerbread might be handicapped by more than just her damaged eye. While Pinkie was telling of her concerns Fluttershy found that the oversized Dog house that had once housed Lars was no longer outside. "If you're looking for my boy Lars he's been moved," Vile called out to Fluttershy from his spot next to the half moat, she turned to him and barely suppressed a smile upon seeing he was covered with a variety of different colored Squirrels. "Oh, where are my manners," Vile pointed to the Squirrels one at a time and began introducing them by name one at a time, as Vile named them off they all responded to their name by peeling off him and climbing up the walls of Castle Chaos and converging at the closet Window. "They agreed to Castle Chaoses Offical Roden Infestation on the terms they protect it from any other kinds of Rodents, we've been having problems with Pukwudgies attacking the Armor Guard and the Squirrel team Bravo have so far been great at helping the Armor find them before they attack," Vile sighed and looked at the empty moat "They ate all our Crabs, and chewed through two of Scuba Armors legs," Vile and the Squirrels above all gave a salute to their lost and injured comrades of the Pukwudgie war, "No worries though, Surriel Team Charlie through Manson are all on patrol with the Armor tonight, so we're safe...for now," A Red Squirrel began directing his comrades to their posts before returning to Vile and sitting on his back, now armed with a Metal Spoon and Fork, whether to eat with or as his weapons against Pukwudgies Fluttershy was unsure. "I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your Crabs and of the Scuba Armor's Injuries," Fluttershy noted, not entirely sure if Vile was being Dramatic for Dramatic sake or if he was actually upset, "But onto other matters I wanted to check in on Lars," "Oh yeah, he's in the War room," Vile said, pointing up to the Rotating Tower "He was the first one the Pukqudgies went for, he is now Squirrel General, sorry he can't come to the Picnic but he's busy trying to work out a Treaty with the Racoons if we can get them to join the Chaos Army the Puckwudgie menace will soon be a thing of the past," Fluttershy nodded slowly, still unsure how serious or even real all of what Vile was saying was, "Well, do inform him it's his allergy season and to keep away from the Marrygolds," "I can do that," Vile said confidently before turning to the Commander of Squirrel Team Bravo "Come on Lewis, let's grab some food and check in to see if Lars had managed to convince the Racoon Leader, Penny I think her name was, into joining us," Vile skipped away happily, leaving Fluttershy to wander is Vile was waging an Animal War in Everfree or if she had just been the victim of a confusing Prank of some kind," "Yup" Havok confirmed after listening to Pinkie's story "There's nothing I can do about that, Anything I might try could potentially be fatal, and that alone means I couldn't even attempt to do it, seeing how I can't kill things I also can't do things that would indirectly kill things," "Something I wish that rule didn't apply to animals" Rust grumbled as she looked out into the forest "Stupid Puckwudgies are starting to become a serious problem," "Let's not talk about those pests," Havok groaned "Lets instead talk about GIngerbread, Is there anything we could do to help, the none magical kind of help I feel I should specify," "No," Pinkie replied without hesitation "I'm all the help she'll ever need, that said maybe don't bring your creations to life for the time being, I can only take care of so many ponies you know," "Noted," Spike gave Pinkie a Thumbs up before feeling a bitter taste in his mouth, "Twilight's here," He noted, Havok snapped away from the group and floated in the air, far enough away from the castle to avoid being heard as he waited for Twilight to appear, when she did so she did it with multiple scrolls in her possession, and smug look on her face was all Havok needed for him to worry. "Already regret agreeing to this," He groaned as Twilight landed and opened one of her scrolls. "Good afternoon," She said in far too polite of a tone to Havok. "It's still technically morning ," Havok replied as he checked a watch he materialized onto his wrist "By almost a full hour, why are you here early?" "Oh, I'm not here to participate in whatever half-witted prank this Picnic is," "What a shock," Havok noted before rolling his wrists at her so that she might continue with her master plan. "I have come to deliver to you this notice of eviction," Twilight said simply as she passed the scroll to Havok "Your purchasing of the Castle of the Two Sisters from a Drunk Luna has been brought to the attention of the Equestrian high court and after much deliberation, it has been decided that you swindled Luna out of her legal property, you are to hand over the deed, and never set foot inside or around the castle again," "Alright," Havok nodded slowly "And this is the part where you provided some sort of way you're going to back that up right!?" "You stole for Princess Luna," Twilight said simply "I don't think you are aware of just how hot the water is, If I had been able to access the Elements of Harmony without the threat of you throwing them the furthest corners of Equestria I assure you I'd be having this conversation with a Statue, and if you fail to follow through on this Royal Decree, I might just end up taking that gamble," "My response, as I'm sure you already thought it might be, is to bite me," Havok declared simply "Because the Magic Bean story was a Big Fat Lie," Havok smiled "And if you don't believe me, you can go ask Luna Personally," "Listen, I'm being nice about this," Twilight said in a strained voice. "Oh please," Havok said waving off her lies "Who the fuck else would bring this up to the Equestrian High Court? Luna didn't care, Celestia doesn't care, And I'm not entirely sure if I've ever met Cadance so she had no leg in this race, The only Princess who seems bothered by this is you, and that is exactly why I accepted Luna's offer for the castle, that and I needed a base of operations and we where already eyeing up the Everfree forest," "Too bad," Twilight snapped as she through the eviction notice as Havok "The Court's decision is final, You have no legal right to this land and as such you have been graciously granted one mouth to remove your magic and yourself from The premises or I will bring the might of the Equestrian army down on you," Twilight turned away and flew back the way she had come. "Dam," Havok looked at the Eviction notice with a sigh "I owe Shade a dinner now, I was so confident it was gonna be a prank of some kind, but legal action it is I suppose," Havok Landed and began walking back, forming a Beugal horn and blowing into it, once he stopped he tossed it to the side, and Discord caught it from him. "You Beugaled?" Discord asked sweetly, The Ex-God of Chaos was dressed in a Neon Green bathrobe with a pattern of moving Ducks that were playing poker on it, he wore Las Pegasus Sunglasses, a Rainboot, and a Slipper shaped like a Bever, he had grown out his hair and tired it up into a Man Bun. Havok tossed Discord the Eviction Notice to Discord, who laughed at it. "What is this supposed to do?" He asked in sincerity "You could literally just copy the entire castle and then move your copy right next to it," "Yeah, but if I do that then Twilight wins, and while I'm usually the loser, that's only for my games, and since this ain't one of my games I see no reason to lose it," "Oh, you have a plan?" Discord asked with a smile. "More like a loophole," Havok noted with a grin as he found an interesting passage in the eviction notice, "But I'll wait till the last day of the month to pull it off, for now, I just needed an extra mouth to feed for the Picnic and I haven't really introduced you to the crew yet and you didn't come to the Castle warming party, so come along mine Chaotic Friend, its time for a tour of Castle Chaos, and for you to meet the team that replaced you. Havok whistled happily as he left his friends and Frenemies to enjoy their picnic, Discord was now the host of the event and was having a time of it trying to redeem himself in the eyes of the rest of team Chaos who all seemed less than happy with him due to the fact he hadn't asked Havok to take up the reins of Chaos. Not really harboring any resentment towards Discord Havok had decided to take his leave and was now making his way toward Ponyvillie. Havok had no real goal in mind as he crossed into the small clearing that separated the Forest from Ponyville but turned his head back to the forest and looked at an inconspicuous bush before calling out "For a spy, you suck at hiding," He said to it, the Bush instantly began rustling and a spell was shot into the air above Havok after a second he was encased in a dome and the pony from the bush emerged. "Octavia," Havok greeted "How did you like my Armor popping out of the ground?" He asked happily. "How'd you know it was me?" She asked suspiciously as she began slowly encircling Havok. "I added magical video surveillance to the Armor eyes due to a pest control problem and caught you and your friends last Wednesday," Havok said simply "Shouldn't have come back around the second time, Let me guess you were trying to figure out how far you had to be from the castle to trigger the Security protocol? Welp hope you didn't waste too much time on that cause I decided it was far to perfect a circle and made the security perimeter wilder in odd places," "I told them we were pushing our luck," Octavia said before sitting back on her hind hooves and crossing her arms. "So what happens now?" "I feel like the correct thing to do is to point out I know all three of you so you two better get out here too," Havok turned to look at the opposite side of the forest and two more familiar faces emerged. "Carrot Top, and Bon Bon," Havok greeted happily "Or do you prefer Special Agent Sweetie Drops?" Bon Bon looked visibly taken aback and Havok nodded "yeah you're not the only ones that can eavesdrop and spy, the only difference is I have limitless power to do so, Although props for that," Spike pointed up at the dome "No idea how three Earth ponies put up a magical barrier but respect were respect is due," "You understand that we can't just stand by and let you walk around if you know about us right?" Carrot Top asked as she and Bon Bon took point, leaving Havok in the middle of a triangle of Agents. "I've known about you three for almost a week," Havok said casually as he materialized a Red Soda and began sipping it "Oh, Ruby Bubblegum Pop, a new masterpiece I must say," Havok took a long drink before letting go of the drink and leaving it to float, he casually lended down and pressed his palm to the ground, instantly the world around them was consumed by Chaos, the grass turned into a carpet of Soap, flowers began sprouting and playing random instruments, the trees all turned into the wax with there leaves turning into flames, Havok himself held up his hand and the three agents found themselves in the palm of his hand. "I'm a God," Spike pointed out as he leaned in close to them as the air around them began cracking like glass, "and I can do basically anything," "Yeah," Octavia agreed before pointing up at him "But you can't Kill things can you?" "True," Havok agreed with a smile "But there's a very thin line between Life and Death, and so long as I keep you just on the life side I can do basically anything," Havok snapped and everything went back to normal, the three stood around him in their original positions as Havok grabbed his drink and continued sipping on it "But I probably won't do that," He finished casually "After all, what the fun in winning if it's as easy as snapping my fingers, I'd rather find new and exciting ways to lose," Havok finished his drink and turned the cup into a ruby before popping it into his mouth. "So we're at a standstill then?" Octavia noted, "You won't fight us, but we can't ignore you," "Pretty much," Havok agreed as he walked up to the barrier and through it with ease "But hey, keep on trying, I'm sure you'll make Celestia proud," "We don't serve Celestia," Carrot Top called back, Havok took that and went the only direction he could with it. "So," He said turning right back to them "If you're not Celestia's spies, who could you work for other than Luna?" "Yeah," Carrot Top confirmed, standing proud as she walked up to Havok without fear "Our elite team was formed only six months ago, 6 members and one leader, three handpicked to serve Celestia, and three for Luna, Princess Luna Picked me and Octavia personally, Bon Bon here was picked by Celestia but that's only natural since this mission was from her, Luna's orders are what Octavia and I follow overall," Havok looked at the three Spies in silent for a long moment before slowly grabbing his hand and pulling it off, leaving a telephone wire attaching his hand to his arm, he quickly looked back at Carrot top, as though trying to catcher her slipping up in some way before pressing his phone hand to his face. "Hey," He said happily into his palm "Why are your Spies spying on me, I thought we were friends?" There was a moment of silence from Havok before he shrugged "Well they told me they were hand-picked by you," Havok tapped his foot before nodding "Alright then," Havok pulled the hand away from his face and let it go, his hand sprung back into place and he summoned another drink for himself. "One second, Luna will be here momentarily to confirm your story," He said casually. "I'm sorry what!?" Octavia demanded as she stepped up, "You can't honestly expect us to believe you have a personal line directly to the Princess of the night," "Well she is my Patron," Havok noted casually "Gave me a castle," "Everypony knows you cheated that out of her while she was drunk," Carrot Top chimed in. "Nope," Havok replied calmly "I made that up, Gossip is easy to spread with the Powers of Chaos on your side," "So what?" Bon Bon demanded as she motioned around "Is Princess Luna just gonna drop everything just because you called her?" Havok had no need to reply as with a flash of Light Luna Teleported in next to him, still rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "What this about spies?" She asked sleepily before seeing the seen before her "Oh, those are my Spies," She realized before changing her tone of Voice "Second in Comand Octavia please explain yourself," "What the hell is this?" Bon Bon demanded, being a Celestia Loyalist she backed away from Luna, "Why are a Princess and the God of Chaos friends?" "Oh, your one of my Sister's spies aren't you?" Luna asked "Shame, I was hoping to keep this a secret for a little while longer, but it's clear Tia has her own agenda, as per usual, Listen, my dear loyal followers, at her words both Carrot and Octavia saluted, Bon Bon was now at the edge of the barrier, concern etched into her face "I gave Havok here the Castle of the Two Sisters as a gift, he and I are friends, in fact, our relationship is comparable to that of My Sister and Twilight, My sister has her Guardians of Harmony, and I now have my Guardians of Chaos," The Trio before them all dropped their jaws at the news and Bon Bon turned and ran through the Barrier, disappearing into the brush as fast as she could. "Welp, she's on her way to snitch," Havok noticed as he looked at his wrist, "Shame, we needed to remain in the shadows until at least the end of Saturday," Carrot top looked at Havok then turned to Luna "Ma'am since it's my big mouth that started this I volunteer to slow down Bon Bon and detain her if necessary until Saturday," "Well then you better hurry, she has a head start," Luna noted casually, Octavia pulled on her bow and lowered the Barrier as Carrot Top took off at high speeds after Bon Bon. "What was even the point of that barrier?" Havok asked as he watched Carrot Top disappear into the Forest. "It hid us from view and was supposed to keep you contained," Octavia said simply, muttering a name angrily as she did so "The Mare in charge of the Tech Division is a Celestia Loyalist, so she probably gave Bon Bon something that let her pass right through it," "What's with all this loyalist crap?" Havok asked in confusion, "And does Cadance have a team?" Octavia looked mildly offended at the notion. "Don't be silly, Princess Cadance and Twilight are a subdivision of Loyalist, I'm a Luna/Cadance loyalist myself," "Dam, I love politics," Havok laughed "Hey you ever need something to annoy Vinly with give me a call and I'll hook you up," Octavia frowed at the offer before Havok added "And don't worry about being added to team backup Harmony, after all, we are both on the same side," Octavia did her best to ignore the thought of being allied with Team Chaos and turned back to Luna "What are your orders, ma'am?" "I want you to call in the entire division to HQ," Luna said "Make sure they're all there before Saturday, tell them you have information that Havok's next Prank will be in Canterlot on Saturday," "Understood Ma'am," Octavia saluted and proceeded to walk away with such an air of Casualness that Havok whistled at her. "Way to not look suspicious," He cheered before turning back to Luna. "And me?" He asked sweetly. "Just go about your day," Luna said simply "Oh, by the way, I'll be keeping you and your friends until Monday, so tell them to pack in a believable way" "I can do that," Havok smiled back as he turned into Spike "Your the best Aunt ever, don't let anypony else tell you otherwise," Luna watched Spike run back to Ponyville and smiled. "Dam right I'm the best," She agreed before teleporting back to her bed.