Applerock Rhythm

by dr-soviet


Playing House

"It's you!" Svengallop hissed. "You're Coloratura's 'friend'. What makes you think we'll let you of all ponies-"

"Svengallop!" Malcolt exclaimed. "We have talked about this!"

Svengallop cowered behind his mane and took a few steps back. "Sorry, sorry."

Applejack's eye twitched. An odd hydrating sensation rose in her throat as though someone rubbed it with the juice of a chaste tree leaf.

Malcolt looked at Applejack and raised an eyebrow, examining the pony. "So you're an acquaintance of Coloratura, correct?"

"Yes sir, known her since I was a lil' filly."

"Then you must be Applejack. Coloratura talks about you sometimes."

Applejack nodded.

"And what kind of performance will you do on stage?" Malcolt asked. "No offense, but first, you look drunk and twitchy. Second, we don't even know how good you are at singing or dancing or any of that stuff, really."

Applejack rubbed her temples a bit as she adjusted to the rising sounds of musical pulses from all the sounds in the hotel. It became worse, but somehow she tolerated it much better. She could hear the fast tempo of wing flaps from a pegasus window cleaner outside and the chatter of two maids in the top floor penthouse.

"I don't quite know but for sure it'll knock your hooves off," Applejack blurted. Those words were not meant to come out of her mouth but it did anyway. "I mean! I mean, how can I prove it to you?"

"I don't know." Malcolt tapped impatiently. "How?"

Applejack noticed the sound of an upright bass, an electric guitar, and a set of drums farther in the backstage. She peered behind Malcolt and a cowering Svengallop and saw a whole orchestra of ponies silently rehearsing.

"I need to borrow your orchestra."

"No," Malcolt said. "They're reserved for Symphony No. 5 later."

"Fine then," Applejack flipped her mane. "I'll borrow your bassist, your lead guitarist, and your drummer. We square, daddy-o?"

"What?"

"Sir! I mean, sir!"

Malcolt sighed. He gestured Applejack to follow as he walked to the crowd of musicians. "Jam, Berry, Blackwater! You'll do the first performance. This is your singer until Coloratura arrives."

Applejack went over to each of her new acquaintances and introduced herself. "Howdy, I'm Applejack. But call me AJ."

The bassist shook Applejack's hoof. He was an older unicorn stallion wearing round glasses. "Jam Lemonade. You know, you remind me of my daughter."

Then it was the drummer's turn. For some reason the pegasus was giggling when Applejack shook her hoof. "Cindy Blackwater! So nice to meet you!"

The lead guitarist could not look Applejack in the eye, but she shook her hand. She looked like she was holding her breath. "I'm... I'm Berry Luck."

Applejack smirked. "Alright, you'll be my bandmates, clear? We'll be playing a little song called 'House'. I remember my cousins from Appaloosa singin' it."

As her bandmates listened, the other musicians stared. Curious eyes examined how Applejack moved around, talked, and how her hooves tapped along an unheard tempo. They stopped rehearsing to see what was unfolding before them.

"Let's start this." Applejack looked at Jam. "Follow my lead, 'kay?"

Applejack sang many songs before this moment but this one felt different. It was like she was holding the reigns of the song, not merely riding with it. She knew how it works now, how every note leads to another, how every note fits into the staff and the time signature and the scales and everything else. She knew what she wanted to sing, what she wanted to hear. She could see the music in her head, a colorless, shapeless sound arranging itself to be read flawlessly.

What was happening to her?

Applejack closed her eyes. Forget about that. Now was the time to rock.

"Bum bum, bum bum ba-dum, dum," Applejack started. She looked up at the ceiling, feeling the rhythm flowing through her body.

When Jam caught the rhythm he played the bass and with it came the baseline. It was bouncy and vivacious, following the blues scale that added a sort of interest- a spice- to the notes. He didn't show it, but Jam immediately liked this sort of music.

Applejack knew every note he hit. She knew every note that would come after.

Naturally, Cinder followed and hit the drums. A beat was formed, but something was missing. Before Applejack could speak, the other musicians from the orchestra began clapping their hooves to the rhythm.

Smiling, Applejack spurred them on. "That's right!"

Malcolt and Svengallop shared a brief glance then looked back at Applejack. Their jaws agape, they briefly heard the notes for the first time. Notes that flowed with music, not a tool for money and business.

Applejack noticed that. Smiling, she readied her throat.


The applause faded as the spot light engulfed the host at his podium.

"As we anticipate Countess Coloratura's arrival..." his microphone echoed. "We have our opening performance here to spice things up at the one and only Equestrian Hotel! She's a young singer from the town of Ponyville, and a dear friend of the Countess."

"Oooh, Ponyville!" Pinkie said.

"A dear friend of..." Twilight put two and two together. "Wait a second..."

Fluttershy smiled warmly. "It's good to have Ponyville representation here in Las Pegasus."

The host gestured to the stage center and took a deep breath. "Give a warm welcome to... Applejack!"

Twilight, Pinkie, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash audibly gasped as the audience applauded. Apple Bloom's box of apple fritters fell to the floor. Big Mac's eyes widened. But before they dwell on the surprise the golden curtains split and revealed Applejack looking at the audience behind the microphone stand. Three bandmates accompanied her.

A wave of confusion crashed between the five friends.

"Applejack," the host started. "Are you and your bandmates ready?"

Applejack cleared her throat. "All geared up. Ain't that right, friends?"

Her bandmates smiled and nodded. They were ready ever since the rehearsal.

"Well I have to say it's an honor to be singin' here in the Equestrian Hotel, and we... Sir, do you have anything more to say?"

The host smiled and shook his head. "Nope. I'm ready."

"We have a song for y'all," Applejack continued, looking at the audience again. "And it goes somethin' like this... Ehem."

Applejack closed her eyes.

"Baby, baby buh-ba-baby..." she voiced out. "Turn back, baby, I wanna play house with you..."

The mic winced.

Applejack had completely butchered her song with an off-key voice and an insecure tune and the audience knew it. They shared glances among one another, whispering. The new singer opened her eyes and saw everyone in the hotel staring at her, waiting, looking. Even her friends knew something wasn't going according to plan.

Her heart dropped, and the stage fright took over. Sweat formed on her forehead and she wanted to pull her hat down and cover her face from utter embarrassment. Berry started to play the lead guitar but faltered after the first few notes. Jam played too, but he was out of sync. So was the drummer.

What has happened to her? She thought she had the rhythm in her but she couldn't find it in herself to sing.

But the potion...

Did the potion wear off that quickly? Applejack froze.

"Where's the banjo, cowgirl?" an audience member shouted, followed by haunting, mocking laughs.

"She looks so silly..." a pony whispered.

"Can Coloratura go on stage already? Sweet Celestia..." another said.

Applejack closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She drowned out everything and allowed only the sounds of music to speak to her mind, to get it into rhythm. She listened closely. Her heart beat loudly, pounding on her chest, but she listened to its tempo, and to the tapping of hooves by an impatient Coloratura fan, to the clock ticking, to the glassware coaxing a tune... All amplified in her mind.

She caught it.

Applejack opened her eyes and sang.

"Well~

You may fly to Cloudsdale,

You may float a spoon,

Well, a-you may have a pink caravan,

But don't you be nopony's fool...

In one moment Applejack and her band went in perfect musical flow and belted out a song that took the breath away of everypony in the hotel. Sharp, accented notes sprung out from Berry's guitar and sprinkled an effervescent flavor to the song. The bass line guided the other instruments in a bouncy, chipper rhythm that would make a pony's leg tap along. The drums, the heart of the beat, were played fast and furiously but in a neat, sensible pattern. And Applejack's voice was the center of it all.

Her voice was more in tune than the harps and organs of Canterlot. It was raspy but appealing, rebellious and full of swagger. The country accent mixed in added a sort of saucy, rustic twang. Unlike the choirs, doo-wops, and theater musicals, the tempo was fierce like a speeding cheetah. She sung it like a confident strut while shooting aggressive gazes at the audience.

A young mare from Saddle Arabia screamed.

Come back a-baby come,

Come back, baby, come

Come back, baby, I need to play house with you...

The end of the chorus was upon them. As the pre-verse guitar break began, Applejack put her face away the microphone, turned around and checked on her bandmates.

"Guys, what's their deal!?" Applejack said.

"The leg thing!" Cinder said as she played the guitar.

Applejack furrowed her eyebrows. "Umm, what?"

"Wiggle your legs," Jam said. "On beat? The audience likes it!"

Applejack paused for a moment. She realized her legs were shaking with the rhythm, but considered the vulgarity of doing that in front of many ponies. Maybe it was too inappropriate? She only wiggled her legs because of that other potion, whichever one was that. It gave her a boost of energy that was too powerful to contain so she let it out the only way she could: moving around. That and the slight anxiety in her veins.

"Do it, AJ!"

Applejack nodded. She returned to the mic as the guitar solo ended.

Well listen to what I'm tellin' ya, baby

Stop horsin' around

Applejack swung her hind legs forward and gyrated her hips, moving with the music. Another mare shrieked, followed by more feverish screams. Big Mac ran to Apple Bloom and covered her eyes with his hoof.

Come back to me, little girl

Maybe we can play some house

Now baby, come back a-baby come,

Come back, baby come,

Come back, baby, I wanna play house with you

Now for the main guitar solo. "Hit it!" Applejack exclaimed and Berry's guitar took hold of the song. The electric notes of her guitar was novel and unheard of, sending chills down ponies' spines. Applejack used this opportunity to move her body. Her hips gyrated, her legs shook, her head rocked back and forth and she kicked to the rhythm of the intense music like bucking an apple tree as though the spirit of rock-and-roll itself had possessed her.

One by one ponies stood up from their seats, unwittingly knocking over chairs and plates and surprising the waiters and servers. They let their bodies feel the music but it wasn't enough. They gathered in front of the stage as their hooves reached for the blonde singer in an almost ravenous want.

Twilight Sparkle gulped. Her head spun, taking in everything that was unfolding. Chaos was everywhere. Applejack's moves were so animalistic... and venereal. She found herself heating up, too.

Thud!

"Oh crap. Fluttershy!" Rainbow Dash cried.

Fluttershy had completely fainted, her cheeks redder than blood itself. Her butter-yellow wings were unfurled and stiff as Rarity administered aid to the best of her skill.

"Breathe, darling, breathe..." Rarity said.

"Happy thoughts, Fluttershy!" Pinkie exclaimed. "No wait, don't do that! Sad thoughts! Sad thoughts! Right now, the last thing you want to think about are happy thoughts!"

Twilight slowly backed away.

She looked at every pony in the large room.

Stallions looked at their partners with confusion and some were so entranced they couldn't move. Mares were dancing to the beat, biting their lips and staring at the stage attraction. The ponies nearest to the stage where bobbing up and down, shrieking and crying and screaming as Applejack danced and sung. The singer had to step away from the edge so she wouldn't be grabbed by hooves. Desirous smiles and flustered cries almost drowned out the music and Twilight noticed the wanton hunger in them.

"T-Twilight..." Rainbow Dash landed beside her. "It looks like they wanna kill AJ!"

"Kill her?" Twilight was taken aback. "Dash, it looks like they want to---"

She couldn't finish her sentence.

The sound of this novel form of music continued to play as security started pouring in to supervise the chaos. She knew if it gets anymore unmanageable, they were really stepping in to stop the crowds.

It was unlike anything she has ever seen before. At first she thought the ponies were entranced, as though some sort of macabre magic took a hold of them. But Twilight knew it was no magic. Applejack alone did that to them with her moves, voice, and fiery charisma that broke all forms of unwritten pony etiquette.

Flaming blushes, primal screams, and craving eyes... Those mares must have felt something they knew they knew they weren't supposed to enjoy.

"Captain Mal, I'm here! Sorry I'm..." Coloratura arrived, but froze suddenly.

Her eyes landed on Applejack stirring mass hysteria on stage. "I... What am I looking at?"

Svengallop couldn't look away. "I don't quite know what I'm looking at."

Applejack continued her explicit display. She shook things up by hollering a backstage pony and asking for a guitar. When an assistant lent her one, she did what nopony expected:

She stood on two legs.

She needed to balance herself while playing the guitar but it had an unintended consequence. Standing up like that had caused even more screams from the audience!

At the climax of it all the ponies bunched up and one of them managed to snag Applejack's guitar sling. Applejack tried to jerk away, but the ponies were stronger than her. The singer struggled to move. As she slipped closer to the edge of the stage, she freed herself from the guitar sling and backed away, almost terrified. The guitar was almost devoured by the dozens of frantic ponies.

"Enough!" Twilight stepped in, magically summoning a force field protecting the stage.

Applejack's bandmates pulled her back as the curtains closed, ending the most hectic show Las Pegasus had ever seen.