//------------------------------// // Chapter 3: All is Fair in Peace and Love // Story: Escalation 84: A Post-Nuclear Story of Humans and Ponies // by dafid25 //------------------------------// October 30th, 1008, 1500 hours Princess Twilight Sparkle Camp Liberty, 45 km North of Las Pegasus "...Anyways, this is how I lost in the election." Jimmy Carter recalled the hostage crisis, "One of the reasons anyways." "That's quite fascinating, Mr. Carter. Do you have any more stories to share?" Princess Twilight asked in anticipation. "Maybe later. Oh look, the headquarters is just ahead," Carter replied as the jeep slowed to a halt. Both the human and the alicorn disembarked from the vehicle and walked into the portable building that is the meeting room. The guard held open the door as journalists from all over Equestria took pictures and asked many questions, primarily directed at Carter. After the soldiers with white "MP" s sewed on their armbands and painted on their helmets managed to pick out a few preselected journalists from various newspapers and the film crew, the door was shut and locked tight. "It's An honor to meet you, Princess," a voice rang from the other end of the room, "I'm President Ronald Reagan. Just call me Mr. President." "Oh! Um...nice to meet you! I am Twilight Sparkle, but calling me Twilight is fine." The president stood up from his seat and asked. "What's with the little one? Is that a lizard?" "That's a dragon, Mr. President. A Personal assistant of sorts, he's... uh, what's your name again?" Carter asked. "It's Spike," Spike replied in a somewhat annoyed voice. "And yes, I am a dragon and #1 personal assistant to Twilight." "Alright then, with that out of the way, let's get down to business," Reagan announced. George Shultz, secretary of state, was the first to say something. "So, we are very much devastated by the nuclear war, and I'm sure you have seen what it is like outside. However, what you likely didn't know is that the Canadians from up north and some central Americans also joined us." "Emphasis on the word some," General Edward C. Meyer added, "We nuked Cuba to hell. I don't know what happened to Castro, but I'm damn sure he's dead. As for Hatti...Nuke or no nuke, it's always been, and forever will be, a shithole." "In other words, our estimated refugee numbers should be somewhere around 7 million in total." Secretary Shultz concluded. "Woah! Uh...umm...Ah, Yes! We will do our best to provide any human refugees to be able to survive and meet basic needs!... Spike, did I say that correctly?" "This is gonna be a long day," Shultz said under his breath to William Westmoreland, sitting next to him. Westmoreland muttered, "Should have never come out of retirement after all." "Also, do you happen to know about the two other groups of human refugees here in Equestria?" Twilight asked, looking at the notes of questions prepared. "Yes, we do know them," Westmoreland replied immediately, "We are even at war against the Soviets..." "Okay...this is gonna be difficult...what about the other group?" "The Europeans? They fought with us against the Soviets." Carter said as he displayed a drawing of a compass cross with a circle, "back then, half of the Europeans and we made up the bulk of the North Atlantic Treaty Organization. This here is the logo for it." "That's why you got voted out, Jimmy." Reagan sighed after glancing at the drawing Carter had made. Carter then fired back and muttered, "Shut it." "Everypony, er, I mean everyone, can we please get back on topic?" Twilight asked, "I understand the refugees need help, but after hearing it, I feel like there is another thing that must be done as well." "What is it that you propose, your highness?" The president asked. "I...propose formally and officially ending the war between you and the Soviets!" Twilight announced, holding up a plan drawn up on her note paper. Everyone in the room looked at each other in silence. "Let me get this straight. You want us to sign a piece of paper and pray that everyone can shake hands and be friends again, even after both sides wiped out each other and their factions?" General Edward asked. "No, she's got a point." Carter quickly came to Twilight's defense, "if we are still at war, it may prove difficult to rebuild and give everyone some room to breathe, especially when we are at someone else's mercy." "Carter, you are the one who caused Operation Eagle Claw to fail and failed to stop the Soviets from invading Afghanistan." Shultz rebutted. "Everyone, quiet." President Reagan stood up, "The Princess here and, well, as much as I hate to admit it, Carter here does have a point. Even if we are to fight the damned commies, it will have to wait. Right now, we can enjoy some benefits of peace." "Let's hope whoever is leading the Reds will be willing to talk." Westmoreland sighed. "Great, now we just have to announce that in front of the press, and hopefully, the Soviets will receive our message," Carter said as he started writing down something in his notebook. "The what now?" Twilight asked. -45 minutes later, at the press conference- "Princess Twilight, as far as we know, all the different human groups are at war. Is there any plan to force a ceasefire between the humans?" A journalist from the Baltimare Daily asked. "Well, uh, you see, despite some...rivalry between these three groups of humans, we believe the power of friendship can bring just about anyone together, and humans are no exception!" Twilight responded. Another journalist from the Canterlot Sunrise questioned, "But Twilight, wouldn't you agree that if a war that destroyed an entire world broke out between these groups before, maybe it would be too much to handle?" "We have taken this well under consideration! In fact-" "Princess Twilight, what is the worst-case scenario that can happen should the peace talks fail?" "What about the topic of disarmament?" "Princess Twilight! Do humans eat fillies?" As Twilight was swarmed by countless questions from the sea of journalists and reporters, Spike looked at Carter with the "What were you expecting" eyes, and Carter facepalmed. General Edward C. Meyer could be seen visibly cringing. "One question at a time, would everypony please?" Carter tried to calm down the crowd of journalists. "Nobody gets any answers if we can't answer them individually." "One at a time, please!" After a good minute, the crowd calmed down to somewhat normal. "If you are asking if we would resume the war, no." General Edward responded, "The United States Armed Forces have no intention of fighting a long over war anytime in the future." "We also call upon the leaders of the Soviet Union to acknowledge what the war has taken from humanity as a whole and agree to end the third world war formally," Carter announced to the press. "And Equestria shall provide the locations and the needed preparations for the talks," Twilight said, "We would be more than happy to provide anything as long as it will help reduce the suffering of millions!" "Millions? Is this going to cause major problems with everything?" "Is there a possibility that the peace talks will go bad?" "What is a Soviet Union, and can I eat it?" "Why are we still here… Just to suffer?" As Twilight got swarmed by questions again, Carter let out a long sigh while facepalming again. . . . October 30th, 1984, 1830 hours Pvt. Tom "Tommy" Philips 10th Mountain division  Castle of Friendship, Ponyville "That mushroom is poisonous, not in how it kills you, but incapacitates you and leaves you open for prey." Starlight Glimmer said as she read through the encyclopedia.  Tom sighed, "Well, that would certainly explain what happened."  "Hey, on the bright side, you just fainted outside Ponyville, and Fluttershy patched you up! Lucky you!" Pinkie Pie said while bouncing up and down.  "Yeah, thanks." Tom turned to Fluttershy, "and sorry, I shouldn't have pointed my rifle at any of you." "It's okay. You are just a bit paranoid and scared. It's...perfectly fine..." Fluttershy replied in a low voice "Ah certainly can't imagine walking out of Everfree without help or preparations. Only pony ah know is crazy enough to live inside, and that's Zecora." Applejack remarked, "You must 'ave stumbled upon her shack."  "There wasn't a single drop of food, and I am not drinking whatever is in the potion bottles or the cauldron." Tommy replied, "So I left, and what do you know? I guess I'm not the only one who was hungry."  "Well, Zecora did come to Ponyville to buy food that day, so yeah, you just had a bad luck streak, ah guess." Applejack said.  "Also, this mixtape is AWESOME!" Rainbow Dash held up a cassette tape from Tom's rucksack, "Where did you get this? Do you humans have Walkmares too?"  "Walkmare? We call it the Walkman, and I got the tape from my high school buddy who makes it." Tom said, his face hardening." The Walkman got knocked out by the EMP from the nuke, and I haven't been able to listen to it ever since. Said friend also died because of his house collapsing in on him."  "The music recorded in this is just plain fire! Just listen to this!" Rainbow exclaimed as she pushed the play button. ~I see a red door, and I want it painted black~ ~No colors anymore. I want them to turn black~ "Rolling Stones, now that one's a classic." A smile came across the private's face.  "Ah don't know, Dash, ah always preferred country music more," AJ said as she clicked the pause button on the Walkmare.  "Uhhh....girls?" Fluttershy pointed at the door of the room. Everyone turned to see Rarity with her jaw dropping down to the floor. "Oh, great, who is this one?" Tom asked. "Oh! She's-" "GOODNESS GRACIOUS! YOU'VE FINALLY AWAKENED!" Rarity interrupted Starlight, "Oh my, where are my manners? Allow me to introduce myself. I am Rarity, the element of generosity and Fashionista Extraordinaire. I own the Carousel Boutique here in Ponyville. I also own Canterlot Carousel in, well, Canterlot, and I am prepared to open a new Boutique in-" "Okay, we get it. Chill the hell out. I didn't need to know you ran every t-shirt stall on the streets." Tom cut Rarity's introduction short. Rarity gasped, "HOW DARE YOU INTERUPT A LADY SPEAKING WITH SUCH VULGAR WORDS! I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT MY BOUTIQUE IS NO T-SHIRT STALL AND-"  "Everypony chill!" Starlight shouted with Fluttershy covering her ears. After the shouting stopped, Tom apologized, "Sorry, I didn't mean to insult you, but please chill out. I'm PFC Tom Philips, 10th Mountain Division."  "Apology accepted, and I am Rarity, the element of generosity." She said as she shook hoof and hand with Tommy, "You must forgive me for being a bit too… excitable, sometimes."  "I mean, I am the one who pointed a loaded rifle toward a bunch of ponies I didn't even know yet, so yeah. Anyways, is there anything you would like to ask?"  Do...humans eat fillies? "the tabloid I picked up said you all do! But...with you happening to be sitting here side by side with my friends, I don't exactly think that is true now."  "For the millionth time, I may be an omnivore, but we are not eating another sentient being," Tom replied in a tired tone.  "Oh, well, that is utmost comforting; I still have my little sister back home." Rarity sighed a breath of relief.  "Well, since I am stuck here for the day, you might as well ask dumber questions. Not like I have anything else to do other than answering them." Tom said to Rarity.  "Oh darling, you have no idea how many questions I have!" Rarity took out a long list of questions in excitement, "For starters, what is in season for human fashion? Is it a suit and tie? Oh! Maybe plus a coat! And what type of fabric do humans usually use in their clothing? I can't wait to see if there are any human fashion designers I can converse with or maybe even collaborate with!" As Rarity continued to unload her truckload of fashion-related questions, Tommy turned to Starlight and asked, "Is she always like that?"  "It's...a long story." Starlight replied, "Say...are you hungry? We still got some apple pies in the fridge."  "You bet your ass I am, just after she finishes bombarding me with questions on something I know nothing about." . . . October 31st, 1008, 0900 hours Princess Celestia Canterlot Palace, Canterlot. Early in the morning, just as Canterlot is starting its day's work, the palace's throne room was already long at work, discussing the current situation.  "So, now that we know all sides are willing to talk, I would like to propose a brand new plan." Princess Celestia announced to everyone in the room. "Are you suggesting that we have Twilight handle the entire situation and set the place for the peace talks at Ponyville?" Cadence asked.  Luna was visibly surprised, "How did you know that, Princess Cadence? This is drafted up this morning and is supposed to be classified information!"  "Having Twilight Sparkle to solve our problems was the plan we used last time...and the 122 times before that," Cadence replied. "Well, if you think of it, Ponyville is the perfect place for the talks," Celestia explained, "It's a town of friendship; the elements of Harmony all live there, and if any… Mishaps happen, Canterlot would still be safe!"  "Speaking of which, where is Twilight? She's 15 minutes late." Luna said as she looked at the clock.  And at this moment, Twilight barged into the room, holding at least five different newspapers while blowing into a paper bag. "I-I'm sorry, Princess Ce-Celestia! I-I overslept trying t-to calculate the needed resources to help...help the refugees!" Twilight is still breathing heavily from the heavy running. "It's okay, Twilight. What's with the newspapers?"  Celestia asked as the other three princesses all took one newspaper from the stack.  "Wait, no! Don't read them!"  Twilight pleaded, but it was too late, as the three had already seen today's headlines: THE CANTERLOT SUNRISE PRINCESS TWILIGHT FREAKS OUT AT PRESS CONFERENCE Doubts about Twilight's capability of maintaining cool and stress management ability rise THE EQUESTRIAN GUARD HUMANS FACEPALM AS PRINCESS TWILIGHT STAMMERS AT CONFERENCE Jet Set: worst Equestrian diplomatic incident ever THE 830AM POST TWILIGHT SPARKLE: INCOMPETENT DIPLOMAT, INCOMPETENT PRINCESS? Doubts about Princess Twilight's competence rise as humans facepalm at press conference All newspapers had a similar photo of James Earl Carter facepalming on the right. In the middle is Twilight sparkle forcing a smile that is obviously fake while a million cameras and journalists are in front of her, and General Edward Charles Meyer visibly cringing at the press on the left-hand side.  "Oh, my reputation is ruined! I will be a laughing stock EVERYWHERE!" Twilight shouted.  "Calm down, Twilight. I never doubted that you could always set things right." Cadence comforted the purple alicorn, "facing the press is no easy feat. You did well enough for the first time."  "In fact, I still remember my first time facing the journalists!" Luna added, "In my first press conference in front of the Palace, I couldn't help with my volume and ended up being slammed by the newspapers!"  "She almost destroyed The Canterlot Sunrise's headquarters," Celestia chuckled, "But still, Twilight, you did well enough."  "Thank you, Princess Celestia," Twilight stood up, "still, since I am late, what did I miss?"  "We have decided you and your friends will be holding the peace talks between the humans in Ponyville!" Celestia said gleefully.  Twilight immediately took a few deep breaths and immediately resorted to the paper bag trick. "B-but Princess Celestia! I just botched up that press conference! How am I supposed to handle something this much bigger and THIS much more important?" "I know that you can always muddle through." Celestia said, "You and your friends helped shape a strong and stable bond between Yakyakistan and us. You have done an excellent job before, and we know you can do it again." "Here is the list of attendees." Luna handed Twilight a list that writes:  REPRESENTATIVES OF THE UNION OF SOVIET SOCIALIST REPUBLICS Leader: Mikhail Sergeyevich Gorbachev Premier: Nikolai Ivanovich Ryzhkov Minister(s) of Defence: Sergey Fyodorovich Akhromeyev, Dmitry Timofeyevich Yazov REPRESENTATIVES OF THE PROVISIONAL GOVERNMENT OF EUROPEAN NATIONS Chairman of the council, head of the foreign ministry: Helmut Schmidt Head of the Military Commission: Jürgen Brandt REPRESENTATIVES OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA President: Ronald Wilson Reagan Diplomatic Envoy: James Earl Carter Chief of Staff of the Army: Edward Charles Meyer Twilight gulped in nervousness as she asked, "Wait, the United States sent their list of representatives that fast? It wasn't even a full day yet!"  "Yes, they spared no time drafting the list while Mr. Gorbachev asked me to help spread the word that they want to sit down and talk. They had the list ready before I even got there." Cadence recalled the meeting.  "I'm surprised you managed to come up with the idea of having them sign an end to the war, Twilight. I’m impressed." Celestia said to her prized pupil. "Thank you, Princess Celestia. I will do my best!" Twilight forced a smile on her face to hide her nervousness, "I will make sure to...tell my friends and have them start preparing this instant! It's...perfectly fine!" Cadence sighed as Twilight left to pack her things and go to the train station. "You know, I can't help but feel maybe we should have helped out Twilight more. She's clearly stressed from that fiasco of a press conference." Celestia replied, "Maybe you are correct. Although I insist that Twilight must learn from experience, I should have at least warned her about how vicious the press could be. And to be honest...well..." The cuckoo clock went off, interrupting Celestia. "Oh, look! It's Cake O'Clock! I wonder what did the kitchen make for me today?" Before Cadence could even shout the word "wait", Celestia was already gone to the kitchen. Luna turned to Cadence and said, "What were you expecting?"