"Ponies of the Royal Guard, attention! Royal salute! Present arms!" In unison, the uniformed ponies stood at attention, stiffly raised their hooves and saluted as Princess Luna's royal anthem was played by the nearby military band. Beads of sweat began to form on the brow of Captain Phoebus Noctornus. This was the greatest moment of his life; he was finally in the presence of Princess Luna, his co-commander-in-chief with Princess Celestia, who was about to review her Royal Guard.
"Ponies of the Royal Guard, stand at ease!" Phoebus relaxed his shoulders and snuck a glance at the alicorn at the end of the line. She was about twenty ponies away from him, chatting with the first pony in line. Even from Phoebus’ distance, Luna was captivatingly beautiful. Her starry mane and tail flowed in ethereal waves, and her deep blue coat gleamed. Her horn sparkled like a diamond in the last rays of the setting sun, and her massive wings were tucked at her sides. Finally, Luna stopped in front of Phoebus. Phoebus’ heart skipped a beat.
"Art thou in pain from standing at attention for so long?" Luna asked him, a hint of amusement in her voice. Starstruck and slightly afraid to speak, Phoebus could only marvel at her magnificence.
"Art thou slow of tongue or slow of mind?" Luna demanded.
"N-neither, Your Majesty," Phoebus stammered, struggling to maintain his bearing. She was so close to him that he could smell her perfume, a sweet mixture of lavender and vanilla. Though she was slightly smaller than her older sister, Luna was no less intimidating; actually, she carried herself in a manner that made her arguably more regal than Celestia.
"Then wherefore, pray tell, didst thou not answer our first question?" she asked.
"I am dreadfully sorry, Ma'am," Phoebus apologized, blushing madly. Luna nodded.
"Lots of ponies react this way in our presence," she said, her tone sympathetic. "We have seen this many times. Maybe we simply wish to jest with thee." Her turquoise eyes gleamed mischievously as she looked down and then back up to his face, and he could only stare in awe as she sauntered past him. Still, he couldn't help but notice that another member of his army was standing at attention as well; Luna had clearly noticed it, too. Phoebus felt his face flush with embarrassment as he and his fellow soldiers were dismissed to their barracks.
"Phoebus, Major Graywing wants to see you in his office." Phoebus’ bunkmate and best friend, Onyx, caught up with him in the mess hall of the army base. Oh, shit, Phoebus thought, I wonder what I could have done wrong.
"You're being reassigned to a new unit," Major Graywing announced. "Princess Luna's private secretary just told me that the princess herself has personally asked to have you transferred to the Royal Lunar Guards."
Phoebus’ eyes widened in shock. The Royal Lunar Guards were Princess Luna's personal bodyguards. They protected the princess at all times, stood sentinel outside her bedchamber during the day, tasted her food and drinks before every meal to make sure they weren't poisoned, and accompanied her to all her official engagements. They were also awarded many privileges, including private apartments at Canterlot Castle, guaranteed access to the same meals the princess ate, lots of International travel, the same lodging accommodations as the princess whenever they traveled with her, not to mention a staggering increase in pay. What could he have done to earn such an honor?
"Did the princess give you a reason why, sir?" he asked.
"Not one," Major Graywing said with a shrug, "but this is an extremely high honor, Phoebus. Do you know how many stallions would kill to be in your position? Don't screw this up, son."
Phoebus saluted. "Yes, sir!"
"You're the luckiest son of a bitch alive!" Onyx told Phoebus that night. He, Phoebus, and a bunch of other stallions from their unit were sitting in their favorite bar, enjoying a few beers. "When do you ship out?" Onyx asked him.
"Tomorrow morning," Phoebus said. "I'm actually a little nervous."
"Hell, I'd be nervous, too, if I were you!" their friend Blacksky piped up. "One wrong move, and..." He moved his hoof in a quick sawing motion across his neck.
"I really don't think she's like that, dude," Phoebus said with a chuckle.
"Fucking gorgeous is what she is," said Onyx. "I'd do anything for a piece of her fine royal ass."
"You'd do anything for a piece of anypony's ass," Blacksky teased. Phoebus rolled his eyes and got up to leave the bar. Tomorrow would be a big day.