//------------------------------// // The Great and Powerful Episode // Story: Guy Talk // by JonRS //------------------------------// The Great and Powerful Episode Chapter 4 “I’m the great and powerful Trixie, and I’d like to welcome all of my fans to a particularly spectacular episode of Guy Talk, where I will discuss everyone’s favorite topic. Me!” “Yeah! Way to go, Trixe!” Snails cheered loudly. “Best intro ever!” Snips said as he whistled his approval. “I can’t believe it! She didn’t even say it right. You were supposed to say it like I do. Where was the part about objectifying females in a society dominated by them for the sake of entertainment? She stepped all over my shtick. You forgot to introduce our producer, Vinyl Scratch.” Spike complained. “It’s cool with me, Spike.” The deejay chimed in. “Pshaw! If anything, she made it thirty percent cooler.” Snips said. “That’s ten percent cooler than Rainbow Dash. Trixie’s awesome!” Snails agreed. “Whatever let’s just get this over with. As you’ve no doubt heard, our guest today is the ever so humble and modest Trixie. After I invited Shining Armor, Snips and Snails insisted that they be allowed to bring a guest to the show.” “I’m beginning to get the feeling that you don’t like me very much, Spike. The great and powerful Trixie is not as bad as you think she is.” “Yeah, Spike! Quit hassling our guest! We were nice to Shining Armor.” Snips said. “Are you kidding? You nearly broke up the guy’s marriage and you peeped on his wife. Twilight chewed me out because you almost screwed up their relationship.” “Trixie didn’t do anything wrong though.” Snails argued. “Yeah, she’s completely innocent.” Snips nodded. “She nearly destroyed the town with her bragging!” “Didn’t you nearly destroy the town too?” Snails reminded. Spike coughed as if caught off guard by that mistake. “That’s different. It‘s not like it happened every week.” Spike said defending himself. “ It kind of does actually. Fluttershy almost destroyed the town with parasprites. There was also that time Applejack poisoned the town with muffins. The time Twilight caused everypony in town to fight over a doll.” “Okay, I get it, Snails, but they saved the town on numerous occasions and I apologized for that incident. Trixie ran away without saying a word. What do you have to say for yourself, Miss Not so Great and Powerful?” “I’d actually like to apologize to everyone, especially you Spike.” Trixie’s apology caught everyone off guard. “You don’t have to apologize, Trixie. It was our fault!” Snips announced. “Yeah, we brought that Ursa Minor back to town.” Snails admitted. “But it was Trixie’s lies and exaggerations that caused you two to go off and do that in the first place. I wanted to come on today and apologize to all of Ponyville for my behavior.” “Ummm….. Wow, I don’t know what to say, Trixie. I kind of expected you to go off on some rant about how it wasn’t your fault or declare your revenge against Twilight Sparkle. I kind of feel bad for treating you like a jerk. I’m sorry about that.” Spike said as scratched his head. “It’s quite all right, Spike. The great and powerful Trixie realizes she’s a role model and must act accordingly that’s why I brought you a gift.” Trixie levitated a gift wrapped box to Spike. “Wow, I really wasn’t expecting this. Thanks, Trixie. Mind if I open it now?” “Go right ahead, Spike.” The mare smiled as she watched Spike hold the rectangular box up. “Do we get presents?” Snips asked excitedly. “I’m sorry, boys. I only brought one for Spike.” The both of them sighed in disappointment as Spike pulled the lid off the box. Inside was a green rhinestone vest with a black bowtie and a set of white cuffs. The outfit was reminiscent of what a magician’s assistant might wear. “Wow! These are some fancy duds. I really appreciate it, Trixie.” Spike marveled at the clothes. “Try them on.” Trixie said. Spike nodded as he slipped the attire on. “What do you think?” Spike asked his friends. “You look okay, I guess.” Snips said envious of the attention being showered on Spike. “It’s alright.” Snails muttered wishing he had gotten one. “You look adorable, if I do say so myself.” Trixie said complimenting the dragon. “What’s up with you guys? You seem kind of down.” Spike noticed as his friends weren’t as excited as they were a moment ago. “We want to know why you got a cool outfit when you didn’t even like her.” Snips demanded. “Yeah, we liked the great and powerful Trixie before it was cool and we didn‘t get anything.” Snails told the dragon. “It’s because the great and powerful Trixie has been harboring a secret ever since she left Ponyville!” Trixie announced. Everyone gasped at this sudden revelation. “What’s that?” Snails asked. “There’s been someone on the great and powerful…. I mean my mind for a long time and I think it’s time I made my feelings known. Spike?” Trixie said staring directly into the dragon’s eyes. Spike was a little unnerved by the intensity of her stare. It was like her purple eyes had singled him out as the only being in the room. If he was alone, he might have ran away, but he wasn’t alone. He was among friends. Or at least he thought he was, Snips and Snails were staring at him as well but there stares were of an entirely different nature. At least, Vinyl Scratch was there to make sure things didn’t get too out of hand. “Yeah?” Spike acknowledged the mare who put a soft hoof over one of his claws. The gesture earned a snort from Snips and Snails who were looking more and more dangerous by the second. “You’re one of the most adorable creatures I have ever met and I would be honored if you joined me on the road as my personal assistant.” Snips and Snails turned the kind of angry that Spike thought Twilight was capable of as their manes and tails flared up like flames at Trixie‘s request. “What?” They shouted. “I-I don’t know what to say, Trixie. I’m really honored you feel that way, but I’m already Twilight’s assistant.” Spike responded nervously. He felt like he was caught between a rock and a hard place. Trixie’s affections were the only thing keeping Snips and Snails from jumping him. He had to let her down gently while trying to convince his friends that he didn “I know. I noticed her by your side. I could tell how close you were, but if you give us a chance, I’m sure I could make you even happier than Twilight. Think about it, Spike. The great and powerful Trixie and her assistant, the magnificent Spike, together on stage.” Trixie’s words were painting a glamorous picture in the dragon’s head. He always liked being the center of attention. It was one of the main reasons he did Guy Talk. “Magnificent Spike does have a nice ring to it.” The dragon said. He could feel the heat of his friends glare as they stared at him. Snips was growling like some sort of caged animal. Spike decided to change his tune before they decided to do something about him. “But I can’t. Who would help Twilight take care of the library?” “Come now, Spike. Why work in some dusty, old library when you could visit the shining jewel of the desert, Las Pegasus? Instead of wasting away in some library, you’d be on stage cheered by a crowd of adoring fans. Can’t you see it, Spike? The stage is calling us. It‘s calling you.” Trixie said enticing the dragon. “Las Pegasus?” Snails said realizing what that meant. “That would mean Spike wouldn’t live in Ponyville anymore. We couldn’t hang out or do the show anymore.” Snips thought aloud as his anger turned to sadness. “Don’t worry, my little admirers. You’d still be able to see Spike. We’ll stop by at least once a year to do a show here. You can see the magnificent Spike perform alongside yours truly then.” Snips and Snails weren’t exactly thrilled by the idea of seeing their friend once a year on stage, but they realized it was a big opportunity for him. “You should do it, Spike.” Snips said. “Yeah, it sounds like a lot of fun.” Snails added. Spike looked at his friends’ sad faces and realized he had two huge reasons to stay right in front of him. “Guys, I’m not-” Spike was interrupted by the door to the recording room being bucked open. “Hold it right there! He’s not going anywhere!” The unicorn announced as she entered the room. “Twilight Sparkle!” Trixie called out the name of the intruder. “You aren’t going anywhere, Spike. I know what this is. This is all some silly revenge plot concocted by Trixie to get back at me.” Twilight said pointing a hoof at the magician. The blue mare tossed her mane back and laughed at the accusation. “Get over yourself, Twilight Sparkle. Trixie’s affections towards Spike are quite real. In fact, I think you’ll agree that Spike is much better off with somepony as extravagant as me. To be honest, you’re a bit dull. Spike deserves someone who doesn’t have their head buried in books all the time.” Trixie said as she stood up and faced the mare. “Umm, excuse me?” “Stay out of this, Spike! Who do you think you are. Trixie? If you think you can sweep into Ponyville and take Spike away, you got another thing coming. Spike‘s been my loyal assistant for years. He‘d never leave me.” “Can I say something?” “Not now, Spike! If you truly believe that, why are you here? It’s obvious you’re threatened by a superior unicorn who can take care of Spike. It’s actually quite sad that you can’t even bring yourself to accept that Spike is far better off with Trixie.” “I’d just like to say one thing.” “No!” They both told him. “It’s obvious Spike wants to be with the great and powerful Trixie. Why would he stay with a boring mare like you when he could live a life of excitement with me. Just accept it, Twilight Sparkle!” “That’s it! Spike take that outfit off. We‘re going home right now.” Twilight ordered him. “Where do you think you’re going with my Spike?” Trixie said standing in front of the door. “I’m warning you, Trixie. I knock down that door. You really want to get in my way?” Twilight threatened. The mare leaned in and smiled. “You don’t have the guts, Twilight Sparkle.” Trixie dared her. “That’s it!” Twilight said pouncing on the mare. Spike just sighed as he watched the two mares wrestle and shout at each other. “As I was saying, I’m not going anywhere.” Spike said but the two of them seemed to engrossed in the task of pounding the other into oblivion. “Really?” Snails asked. “Of course not. Without me, this show is just two idiots egging each other on. Who’d listen to that?” “So that means that Trixie still needs an assistant. I‘ll do it!” Snips said. “What? I thought you wanted me to stay.” Spike looked at the colt incredulously. “I did, because I thought you were going with Trixie, but if you’re not going, I’d be more than glad to take your place.” Snips volunteered. “Why should you go? I want to go!” Snails whined. “I called it!” “No way!” Snails said as Snip went on the attack. Now the two of them were fighting on the other side of the table amidst all this chaos Vinyl Scratch finally spoke up. “I just have two things I’d like to add. The first is it’s time to end the show. The second is nobody is going anywhere because your contracts have an exclusivity clause. You aren‘t legally allowed to do another show.” “You couldn’t have told me this before everyone started fighting.” “And lose all this radio gold. The ratings are higher than ever!” “Whatever! I’d like to thank and apologize to everyone who listened to this. This show was brought to you by the Barnstorm Blitz Sale at Barnyard Bargains. Barnyard Bargains for barn sized value at bargain prices. I’m going to fight Vinyl Scratch, because I feel kind of left out. This is Guy Talk signing off.” A/N: The questions will return next episode.