//------------------------------//
// "Come to Ponyville," they said... "it will be EASY!" they said... 
// Story: "What's Yours is Mine!" or "Why Work When You Can Steal?!" 
// by -TheStoryteller- 
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Caper and his pal ducked down an alley, just in time to elude the trio of cops on their tails. "That was close, Caper!" huffed Mugger. "Them flathooves almost caught us that time!" His friend didn't bother to answer, only went cautiously back to the mouth of the alley and peered around the corner.

"Looks clear," he finally said. He turned his attention to the disappointingly small bag of bits he carried, the only swag they'd been able to hang onto from their latest break-in. Caper frowned. He must be slipping, because there was a time when a simple alarm like that last rich old mare's home had wouldn't have given him any trouble at all...they'd have been in and out with nopony the wiser, and would have gotten away with a ton of more loot! His contact had told him she'd been a distrustful recluse, who'd kept her wealth out of banks, so they'd expected a huge score when they'd finally broken into the hidden safe.

Only to find a measly, paltry, flea-bitten bag that had obviously seen better days. He gave the bag a shake, as his expert ear told him without needing to count it had less than twenty bits in it, making his mood all the worse. He and his so-called "expert contact" would be having some words later. 

Some choice words indeed.

His mood didn't improve when his partner-in-crime asked, "So, how much did we get?"

"Not nearly enough," Caper grumbled, shifting the meager bag to one of his own inside pockets. "C'mon, let's go get a drink. I could use one." Keeping to the shadows, they soon made their way down dusty back alleys and dimly lit streets to one of the shadier parts of town. Only the most ruff-and-tumble ponies and creatures frequented this area (if they were smart) so at this point, they both relaxed as they continued on to their favorite watering hole, The Guilded Rose. The name belied the actual bar, as it was one of the most filthy, violent, and disgusting places in the entire city.

It also served the best quesadillas.

Standing at the entrance was a new bouncer, a Minotaur, whom neither had seen before. He stood with veiny, well-muscled, tattoed arms crossed, glaring down at them through dark sunglasses. "What do youse two want?"

Caper craned his neck up and up, and put on his most winning smile. "Why, to enter this fine establishment, my good Sir! I assure you both I and my companion are constant regulars! Now, be a good fellow and step aside." He made to enter but the bouncer blocked his way.

"Nuh uh. I ain't seen youse before, an' nocreature gits in wifout payin''," he smiled a rather greasy smile down at them both.

Caper sighed. "And...how much would this...fee...be?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

The Minotaur's smile grew even wider. "How much youse got?"

Caper nodded. "I see." He spoke without turning. "Mugger?"

Behind him, his companion began by simply grinning.




"Braaaaappp!" Mugger covered his mouth a moment too late. "Sorry, Boss! I know how much you hate bad manners!" But his employer, for once, seemed not to notice. Mugger shrugged and began stuffing yet another quesadilla in his face, his third (or fifth!) one so far.

"Where is that idiot..." Caper mumbled to himself, scanning the smoky, dingy bar.

Mugger came up for air long enough to ask, "What idiot?"

Caper spoke without looking at him, still searching the crowd. "Our "informant" that gleefully explained how "rich" we'd all be after tonight's heist."

The Earth pony paused, the food halfway to his mouth. "Oh, him." He pointed over Caper's shoulder. "Isn't that the guy sliding out of the bar by the door?" 

Caper's head whipped around. "Where?!"

He pointed again as he continued munching. "Over there, looking sneaky-like."

Caper smiled. "I see him..." He fired up his horn, aiming his magic at a trash barrel just in front of the retreating pony. The barrel spilled before his hooves, causing him to fall flat on his face.

"Hey! What...?!" he cried as he fell into a clumsy pile, to the great amusement of the patrons standing by. By the time he'd regained his footing, Caper was standing over him. The color drained from his face, but he kept his voice even. "Caper! How nice to see you! I was just about to ask how things went tonight!"

As Mugger joined him, the unicorn spoke in a flat, dangerous tone, "Oh, I'm thinking you know how it went, Trusty, my "old friend." He took out the tiny bag of bits, now considerably lighter, and threw it at his hooves. "Here's the "huge score" you promised we'd be getting. Perhaps you'd care to explain what went wrong?"

Trusty looked from the bag at his hooves, then back up to Caper, then up and up to the burly Earth pony, and began to sweat. "Honest, Caper, I thought she was an easy mark!" Then inspiration hit him. "Let me make it up to you both!" He reached into a greasy pocket, took out a crumpled coupon, and offered it to him. "That's good for fifty bits of credit, right here at The Guilded Rose!" He looked at the remains of the food in Mugger's hooves. "Just think of how many more quesadillas your friend here could buy!"

Caper just stared at him for a few seconds, then simply uttered one word: "Mugger?"

As Mugger started forward, Trusty backed up and screamed, "No, wait! I really can help you both! I know of a place where you both can get so many bits, you'll both be rich in a moon's time! And you don't have to pay me anything!"

Caper held up a hoof to stop his companion, then said, "I'm listening."




Caper and Mugger followed the furtive pony into one of the back hallways, where they stopped in front of a large door. Trusty looked over his shoulder at them and offered what he hoped was a reassuring smile. "Now, when we get in here, just let me do the talking! These kinds of ponies...they ain't too friendly with strangers." Just before he knocked on the door, Caper stopped him with a hoof.

"How do we know we can trust you?"

Trusty grinned. "Have I ever lied to you?" Caper and Mugger just stared at him. "Okay! Maybe once!" They continued to stare. He threw up his hooves. "Alright! More than once! But you can trust me this time!" He lowered his voice. "I don't like dealing with the ones in this room any more than I have to, and like I said, this is a sure thing! So, just...follow my lead!" With that, he turned and knocked on the door. After a few moments, a narrow panel slid aside, and they could see a pair of eyes glaring out at them.

"What do you want?" a gruff voice asked.

Trusty put on his most winning smile, and said, "It's me, Rocky...my friends and I are interested in that proposition we discussed a week ago."

The eyes stared for a few more moments, looking at each of them in turn, then they heard, "Wait here," as the panel closed. Caper looked at his friend and shrugged, and was just turning to leave when the door suddenly opened. Inside was a pony seated at a large table, lit from overhead by a single ceiling lamp. The room was smoky, as he was puffing on a cigar, an imported one if Caper's nose was correct, and he was staring at them as if examining something he'd scraped off the bottom of his hooves.

The single pony, obviously the leader, nodded at the one by the door. Caper and Company turned and watched as the one Trusty had referred to as 'Rocky' slowly shut the huge door, locked it, then made sure it was tight. He then turned back and nodded to the 'Boss.' The 'Boss' took a puff of his cigar, blew a smoke ring, and then motioned for the door pony to come closer. Once he did, he leaned down, and the Boss whispered in his ear, too low for Caper and Mugger to hear but they caught snatches of his voice that made them both stare at each other in confusion.

His voice, from what they could make out, was...strange. Almost...foal-like, and would have been comical if not for the seriousness of the situation. Their attention was then drawn back to Rocky as he stood up and said, "The Boss here wants to know who you two are."

Trusty stepped forward with a smile. Rubbing his hooves together, he said, "These two are my best operators! They've pulled off a buncha capers for me in the past, and they might be the ponies we're looking for to do a job down in Ponyville."

The Boss took his time staring at them through the smoke, while a bead of sweat began to trickle down Trusty's forehead. Then he blurted out, "I told them it would be an easy job, with hardly any risk, and we'd only charge them a nominal fee!"

At this, Caper gripped him by the back of the neck. "You said we wouldn't have to pay you at all!"

Trusty squirmed under the painful grip. "Did...did I say that?! I musta forgot to mention the tiny, itty-bitty, you'll-never-miss-it finder's fee!" Trusty turned desperate eyes on the cigar pony. "Help me out here, Boss?"

The Boss made a quick hoof-gesture to Rocky, who sighed and said, "Yeah, alright. He's telling the truth: we can use you both for this job."

Caper let go of his "informant," looked from him to the cigar pony, and back, then narrowed his eyes. "What sort of job?"

Rocky smirked. "It'll be easy: Ponyville is a little burg sat between Canterlot and the Everfree Forest. All you two have to do is rob anypony using that Road. Earth ponies and Unicorns use that Road all the time, so the pickings will be easy!"

Caper nodded. "Sounds good." His brow furrowed as he added, "Too good. I've heard there's some sort of group of Element-Bearers there, as well as an Alicorn, name of "Twilight Sparkle," if I recall." He shared an unfriendly look with his companion. "We don't mess with Alicorns..."

The Boss motioned for Rocky to bend down again, and this time he whispered for almost a minute. Once he was done, Rocky turned to them again, this time with an even bigger smirk on his face. "The Boss says that will be taken care of. He says we've arranged for her to be...shall we say..."otherwise engaged"...out of town for at least a couple of weeks."

Mugger piped up. "What about the others?"

At this, the Boss rose to his hooves, and shouted, "aFteR thE WAAY yuu TUUK out oUr BoUnCeRR, ThEy shOulD give YUU no TrOUble!!" 

Caper and Mugger stared at him, then fell to the floor, howling with laughter! The Boss waited patiently until they'd almost regained their composure, then said, "I'm aWaRe I hAff a FuNNy vOicE. CaN we MoVe On?"

"Stop! Stop!" screamed Caper, as they both fell to the floor again, "We'll do it! Just don't say anything else!"

The Boss turned to Rocky. "gEts ThEm out of HeRe..."



"You shouldna oughta laughed at the Boss' voice," grumbled Trusty, as the three of them made their way down the hallway and back into the bar proper. "That weren't nice."

Caper grimly smiled. "You're probably right, but you should have warned us beforehoof." He sighed as they chose a booth and sat down, then signaled a waitress. After she took their orders and hustled off, Caper grimaced at his "informant." "So, when is this "job" supposed to begin?"

"You can both start next week! Princess Twilight will be gone by then, so the coast will be clear! You'll have nuthin' to worry about!"

The waitress came back with their drinks, and Caper took a sip from his before saying, "I'm sure we won't. That's why you're coming with us."

Trusty spat out his drink and began choking, then spluttered, "Me?! Why me?! I never get my hooves dirty!" He coughed one more time and pointed. "You're the brains," he pointed again, "...and he's the muscle! What am I supposed to do?!"

Caper took another slow sip before saying, "You. Are our insurance in case this gig goes South." He sat back and smiled. "Besides, you can also be our lookout: you're good at spotting rubes and suckers, right?"

Trusty gave them both a nasty look over the rim of his mug before muttering, "I sure do..."



"What about her?" Caper whispered, watching the blonde Earth pony canter down the road while hauling a cart full of ripe, delicious-looking apples. From their cover in the bushes not too far from the Road, Trusty shook his head.

"Naw," he whispered back, "don't you know nuthin'? That looks like that one they call "Applejenny," or "Applesmack," or some such! Anyway, she's one of them Bearers, and a friend of that Alicorn!" He turned and gave a cagey look to his associates. "Bad juju..." 

Caper frowned. "Well, we'd better find a mark soon! We've been out here for over an hour, and that's the only one that looked like she was worth some bits!" Behind him, Mugger's stomach rumbled.

"And I coulda used them apples..."

"And gotten yer teeth knocked in for yer trouble!" countered Trusty. "Now, shut up, you two, and let me do my job!"

All three fell into a sullen silence, watching the Road. But soon, they were rewarded by the sound of another cart, this time being hauled by a green-maned mare. The wind shifted just before she came closer, and the smell of fresh carrots filled their nostrils. Caper looked at Trusty, who simply smiled and nodded. They waited until she was nearly abreast of them, then all three leaped out, Caper and Trusty in front, Mugger behind. "Hold on there, Miss!" said Caper, putting on his most winning smile. "Now, where would you be off to?"

She cowered before them, looking around in fright. "Wha...what do you want?"

His smile grew wider. "Oh...nothing," he said while circling her cart. "Just all your carrots, and any bits you might have." He stopped when he was in front of her, and looked down into her eyes. "Now."

As she unhooked herself from her cart, she stammered, "You...you won't get away with this! I...I'm tell...telling the Princess!"

At this, Trusty greasily added, "Yer welcome to, sweetcakes, but we just happen to know yer Princess is out of town for the next few weeks, and we'll be long gone by the time she gets back...so save yer threats..." He smiled as he pointed to the fat bag of coins on her hip and made a 'gimme' motion with his hoof.

After angrily throwing her bits' bag down at them, she backed away, but not without a last, "You'll be sorry!" and was just about to turn and dash back to Ponyville when she was stopped by Mugger.

"Nuh uh, Miss...the Boss's got one more thing he needs to do." She turned frightened eyes back to the unicorn, only to be hit full in the face by his spell. She blinked, shook her head, then looked around in confusion.

"Where...where am I?"

"You were just on your way home, Miss...home to go to sleep for a few hours," said Caper gently.

With a dreamy, unfocused look in her eyes, she nodded and said, "Oh, yeah...that's what I was doing! Thanks, Mister!" then she wobbled off.

They watched her toddle unsteadily away, then Trusty said, "What was that you used?"

"A simple memory spell. I'm not a full mage, so it will only last a day or two at the most." He turned to Mugger. "Pull that cart off the Road and into the bushes. We have about that long to make a good haul from this Town before ponies start getting suspicious."

Trusty grinned. "I told you this would be easy!"



Caper's next full memory was seeing the nurse standing over him. It hurt even to open his eyes, let alone turn his head, so he couldn't see, but he could feel, O sweet Celestia he could feel! that every limb was cased in traction, he was covered in bandages from head to hoof, and as far as he could tell, he could only eat through a straw. He painfully moved just his eyes to his right and saw a large shape in the bed next to him. By the few patches of fur color he could see, he guessed it was Mugger, but the figure was, like himself, fully swathed in bandages. He desperately searched his mind to remember what exactly happened, but all that immediately surfaced was a lot of screaming. A LOT. Of screaming. Then, he heard the door to their room open. He painfully turned his eyes to the sound of approaching hoofsteps...and saw...HER.

The Grey Mare.

...and it alll came crashing back...



Things had been going quite well for the trio for the next day or so. A few ponies, mares, and stallions, had given them a bit of trouble, but between the three of them, especially with Mugger's muscle, they'd made quick work of them without too much violence. Now, all there was to do was to sit back and count their winnings!

They had a huge stack of bits between them, as well as several carts simply loaded with various goods they could sell off later for even greater profit! As measured as he usually was, Caper couldn't keep the smile off his face as he turned to Trusty. "I have to say, this worked out much better than I thought it would. You really were a straight-shooter this time, old chap!"

Trusty smiled back. "Was there ever any doubt?" Both Mugger and Caper looked at him, but this time just let it slide. Then, suddenly, they heard the unmistakable sound of yet another cart being hauled down the Road. 

"Should we get some more?" asked Mugger.

Trusty looked at him as if he were daft. "Of course, we should! That's what 'more' means!"

That settled, they crept back up to the Road and waited. Soon, they saw a grey mare hauling what looked like a huge cart full of...rocks? What good were lousy rocks? Caper was just about to suggest they allow her to pass when he stiffened as he saw a tell-tale gleam. Those weren't just rocks. They were precious stones. He saw emeralds, diamonds, rubies...all mixed in with grey, ordinary-looking boulders.

Thinking back, that should have been his first clue.

As they'd done many times, they all leaped out in the same formation. The mare stopped and looked up at them, her bland expression never changing. "Hold on, Miss! We'll be taking everything you have!" said Caper.

In a neutral voice, she answered, "Please get out of my way. I am going to be late."

Trusty smiled. "I'm afraid it's not up to you, sweetie. Now we can do this the hard way, or the easy way. Your choice."

The mare looked over across the Road, to all the carts which by now they could not all hide. "Those don't all belong to you." She looked back at them. "You've been robbing ponies." Then, quietly, she began to unhook herself from her harness.

"That's right, and you're next, Miss!" said Mugger. He placed a hoof on her shoulder. "Now, move away from the car---AHHHHH!!!" he screamed as she gripped his hoof.

"Robbing ponies is wrong," she said, as she flipped him across the Road. Mugger flew through the air and landed heavily on his side. He grunted as he fell, but quickly regained his hooves.

"Nopony beats me!" yelled Mugger. "NOPONY!!" as he launched himself towards her.

Caper and Trusty watched in horror, their hooves frozen at the spot. Throughout the entire fight, the mare's expression never changed. Afterward, when the Earth pony lay in a broken, moaning heap, she turned expressionless eyes on the two of them and quietly said, "Robbing ponies is wrong." She cracked her neck.

"You're next."



"Nurse! NURSE!! Get her away from me!" yelled Caper as well as he could for the bandages wrapping his jaw.

But the Grey Mare quietly said, "I just wanted to see how you're doing. I don't usually go all out like that, but I was...upset."

"Upset? Upset?! You could have killed us all!!"

She shook her head. "No. I only used a little bit of my strength. I wasn't trying to really hurt any of you."

Caper stared at her, then looked over at his companions, then looked back at her, knowing she meant every word.

Then, he fainted.