//------------------------------// // Family Outing // Story: A Pup Named Fenrir // by MisterEdd //------------------------------// Following the somewhat-abrupt departure of what had to be the oddest family in Equestria, nay, the universe, we non-crazy folk all went about our regular business and things returned to their scheduled state of semi-normalcy. As crazy as things could be around here, any subsequent events that came after my experiences with Screwball would be bluntly uneventful in comparison. First, I was hurled through a void outside of space and time, encountered a literal personification of Death, and witnessed a sleeping octopus-dragon-god-thing in an extra-dimensional underwater city of eternal madness and degradation. Then, I wound up in some scared, dorky little human's bedroom, and met a mare that could not only stomach a romantic relationship with Discord but actually chose to bear him a child, one possessing reality-warping chaos magic as well. I mean, what could possibly ever compete with such an absurd chain of bizarre occurrences? You know, now that I thought about it, the brief millisecond visit to R'lyeh and my glimpse of the slumbering behemoth housed within its borders had gradually faded from my mind. Even reminiscing about it now brings back a hazy, almost Alzheimer-esque recollection of my mind-boggling misadventure, the awareness of the ordeal remaining completely intact but the memory itself is fuzzy, like trying to peer through a grime-covered glass window while being surrounded by a thick fog. Then again, the fleeting shiver at the back of my spine, that immense feeling of existential dread the affair drummed up has me believing that my mnemonic abstraction is perhaps for the best. I'm actually glad to be a warg; something tells me that if I was a human being, my mind would've crumbled and my head liquefied from the sheer incomprehensible revelation of my then-current surroundings. Now that would've put a huge damper on my day. "That reminds me, I must be taking my leave as well," Princess Celestia said as she rose from her chair. "Thank you all for a lovely lunch and I'll be seeing you all later." With a graceful head-bow, the co-diarch sauntered out the double doors. "It's such a gorgeous day out," Rarity observed. "Why don't we go for a walk around the city?" "What an excellent suggestion!" Twilight cheered. "We can take in the sights, absorb the rich culture..." "Great idea, Rares," Applejack concluded merrily. "We've been inside fer too long. What d'ya say?" "Meet and socialize with interesting new ponies," Twilight continued to babble, her quill rasping on a fresh piece of paper. "Create everlasting memories of our strong camaraderie, sample the local cuisines, contribute to small businesses, expand our minds and broaden our horizons..." "We can visit the local comic book shop!" Spike shouted gleefully. "I'm sure I can find new figurines and expansion packs for my planned Ogres & Oubliettes campaign." He then unexpectedly turned towards me. "Hey Fen, why don't you join Big Mac and I on our next game night? It's going to get pretty intense and we could use another player." I'd heard Spike mention the game in passing but to be fair, my attention was always elsewhere. Apparently, it was some kind of strategy-based game but it focused more on imagination and teamwork rather than skill and strategy? And the participants pretended to be knights and wizards and such that went on fantastical quests? Wait, why would such a game even exist in the first place? Magic and monsters are a common everyday occurrence in Equestria and it should thus seem rather mundane to its inhabitants. If anything, shouldn't players pretend to be regular, boring creatures doing things like paying their taxes or collecting stamps? Am I just taking crazy pills or something? "Erm, sure, yeah. Let's do that." "Outrageous! Trust me dude, you are going to love it!" Doubtful, but his youthful enthusiasm is certainly to be admired. "What do you think, Rainbow?" Rarity inquired. "It sounds fun, doesn't it?" "Eh, I could stretch my wings," Rainbow Dash shrugged, giving her feathered appendages a light flap for emphasis. "Besides, bowling is lame." Pinkie Pie, who had been sitting on the opposite side of the table, suddenly leapt up out of nowhere and leaned against the pegasus' chair with an inquisitive expression. "Aren't you just saying that because you were dead last?" "No! I mean...I just don't like it." "Riiiight," I added with an eye roll. "I'm sure it had nothing to do with you setting the new all-time record for most gutterballs in a single frame." "You know what? Maybe one day you'll wake up with no fur." "Is that so?" I countered dangerously. "You shave me, and I'm tearing up your Wonderbolts' posters." Rainbow's eyes narrowed, her cerise glare full of ire and a smidgen of fear. "You wouldn't dare. Those are signed collector's editions." I chuckled sinisterly. "Dash, Dash, Dash...wouldn't I?" "Um, Fen? Don't you heal quicker at a faster rate than ponies? Couldn't you just, I don't know, grow your fur back in a short period of time?" Fluttershy made a good point but I had the perfect counter. "True but it's not about the fur, it's the principle of the matter. Fur grows back but shame is forever." Applejack pounded her hoof on the tabletop like a gavel. "Alright you two, settle down. Ah don't need y'all gettin' riled up before the trip." My ears swiveled backwards at this proclamation. "Yeah...the trip..." Given my prior experience in the streets of Canterlot, I was understandably a little more than apprehensive about the matter. I certainly didn't want to be mind-wiped again or kidnapped and my organs harvested for some dark purpose. I was not looking forward to this latest outing but I knew that I couldn't put a damper on the mares' spirits, killing their excitement and making them all feel as depressed as I was didn't sound like something a friend would do. Amidst the high-hoof's and excited chatter, I alone appeared rather despondent at the idea of a trip and hoped that not one pony would notice my rather obviously forced grin or my downcast gaze. After all, Princess Celestia's letter may have summoned the group to Canterlot due to Tyr's arrival but that didn't mean that the trip was all about me and my personal issues. Rolling up what was sure to be an "exciting" itinerary of planned events, Twilight leaped out of her seat and landed with a practiced spin, looking very much like a little pixie-horse in a ballet. "Alright, everyone, we're leaving in ten minutes. Be sure to pack your things and we'll meet up in the main hall." Diving over the table, Pinkie landed on the top of her skull with a soft ponk, bounced up and landed on her hindlegs, now wearing a yellow and blue cheerleader's uniform. She started energetically waving a pair of matching pom-poms around. "O-U-T-I-N-G, that's the thing that makes me wanna squee! G-o-o-o 'Outing'!" I trudged behind the others, putting some distance between them and myself. "Pinkie, I swear you are too peppy for your own good." The pink creature in mare form, who somehow found time to change out of her outfit and throw away her pom-poms in the span of a few seconds, hopped in front of me backwards, her tail operating as a pogo stick that went boing! boing! boing with every bounce. "Silly Fen, I'm just happy! Don't you know that happiness is fifty-percent friendship, thirty-percent laughter, fifteen-percent sugar, and forty-percent smiles?" "That's...a hundred-and-thirty-five percent." "Exactly! That's a lot of percents!" This forced a chuckle out of me. This crazy pony had the strange effect of turning any sour mood sweet with nought but a few whacky words. "I suppose it is, yes." The group soon scattered to their respective bedrooms and while they were busy preparing for the proceeding expedition, I patiently sat on the floor of the main hall. Shoved up against the wall next to my right side was a red velvet-seated couch and on my left side was a miniature fern in a decorative green vase atop a tall wooden stand. Above me were several paintings of ponies that I not only didn't recognize but whom I lacked any inclination to discover their identities. Seriously, did the Royal Sisters have enough dusty old paintings of long-dead aristocrats staring judgmentally down at the castle staff and visitors? If I had a castle, I'd keep a few pictures of only my closest friends and save the rest of the wall-space for decorative knick-knacks, like hunting trophies or an electronic singing largemouth bass, like the one in the Ponyville barber shop that belts out "Stayin' Alive" at irregular intervals. "Fen, are you alright?" Fluttershy set down her saddlebags and slid into the couch beside me. "I..." There was no lying to the shimmering blue pools peering up at me. "No, not really." Fluttershy nodded slightly, as though silently confirming her own suspicions. "Is it about Madame Tarocchi?" Faust, she could read me like a book. "Maybe," I confirmed after a brief pause. "Yes." Gently, Fluttershy nuzzled the underside of my chin, resting her silky smooth head against my neck. "Oh Fen, it's okay to be scared but you have nothing to worry about. We're all going to be with you the whole time and if anypony gives you trouble, then we will back you up. I promise." I pulled her in closer with a foreleg, basking in the warmth of her body heat. "Thanks, Mother." Ten minutes later, everyone had gathered in the main hall and a certain prismatic-maned pegasus appeared in front of us, flapping her wings and looking a tad bit antsy. "Are you guys ready to go?" "Yes, we're ready," Fluttershy replied cheerfully, giving me a head-scratch and a peck on the cheek. ~*~ I still couldn't get over the almost frantic liveliness of my current environment when compared to the quiet hamlet that served as the home of both myself and those closest to me. Ponyville, when it wasn't swarmed by parasprites or being taken over by ticked-off hack performers with a score to settle, was a small community that moved at its own leisurely pace, taking time to enjoy the little things. Canterlot, by contrast, never seemed to stop moving, like a rounded stone kicked down a steep incline hill and if I was forced to make comparisons, then I would say that the city possessed all of the opulence and splendor of Asgard. Ponyville, however, with its more intimate communal tone and semi-carefree placidity, was more akin to Vanaheim and certain parts of Jotannheim. I didn't know how ponies managed to stand living in Canterlot and deal with its hustle but it wasn't my problem. I stayed close to Fluttershy as our little gang trekked through the city, a growing sense of unease drowning out all of Canterlot's otherwise obtrusive sights and smells. My eyes darted around in search of a hypothetical foe, analyzing every face that passed me by, scanning every window, food stall and rooftop for any signs of possible danger. I nearly jumped when a pair of colts raced past the group and it took every fiber of my self-control to keep from bolting then and there. Fluttershy kept a wing on my right side, gently smoothing over my fur as her flowery odor eased me back into a state of placidity. She then smiled up at me, a silent promise that she was going to protect me from harm. "My, isn't he an adorable pooch!" An ancient pegasus, stooped over with age, approached the gang, her walking clacking on the cement. "May I pet him?" Fluttershy looked towards me with uncertainty and I replied with a reluctant nod. "Oh, um, sure," she confirmed and the old mare gave my head a gentle rub. "Who's a good boy?" She cooed, the action somewhat pleasing, even if she smelled of dust and aged cheese crackers. "Yes, you are." The old mare withdrew and thanked Fluttershy, waddling away with a chuckle. This would not be the last time such an encounter took place. As we made our way past technicolor waves of pastel-colored ponies, a few more bystanders mistook me for a dog and gave me head-pat or chin-scratches accompanied by baby-talk, and I'm sure the collar added to that error. The general public wasn't aware of my sentience, or even my overall existence so any one of these nameless peons could be forgiven for the misconception. Rainbow, of course, was having a field day, snickering behind her hoof and disguising it, rather poorly, with a fake cough. I glared at her but held my tongue, knowing full well that she would get her proper comeuppance when the moment was just right. Her precious posters would soon be at my mercy... Twilight mulled over her notebook with a hum, sticking her tongue out of the side of her mouth as she pulled something out of her saddlebags. "Right, the first place on the list is...the Canterlot Museum of Natural Sciences and Antiquities!" I'd heard of a "museum" in passing and was fascinated by the concept. It was my understanding that ponies and humans alike carried within them a natural preoccupation with the past, seeking to maintain and examine it through oral tradition, the preservation of written documentation and the collection of various items ranging from weapons to innocuous household objects. I was of the opinion that the past, though important to retain within the back of one's mind, is not something to spend a long time obsessing over. Faust, there were even college courses and life-long professions devoted to studying ancient cultures and digging up bones and old pottery, a waste of time, energy and money in my opinion. Regardless, maybe such a trip would be educationally beneficial and expand on my understanding of Equestrian culture and society. "Bor-ring!" Rainbow exclaimed with a cocky grin. "Let's hit the nearby arcades! I'm itching to beat some snot-nose punks at Pac-Mare." Twilight scoffed at Rainbow Dash, an unfolded brochure dangling in her magical grip. "Hey, it's not boring! Did you know there is an exhibit dedicated to the complete history of Equestrian maritime traditions, including the manufacturing of barrels?" "Yeah, no, you're absolutely right. That sounds riveting." The purple princess gave me a deadpan stare. "Okay, Mister Smarty-Wolf, since you know so much, where would you recommend that we visit?" "I don't know...the park?" Twilight raised a hoof, then tapped her chin. "That's not a bad suggestion. How about we go there after the museum? We could eat our lunch under the shade of some trees." "A picnic in the park!" Rarity perked up. "What a splendid idea!" "Ooh, ooh, I can bring some eclairs!" Pinkie Pie suggested, though it was no doubt more of an early announcement. "An' some apple fritters!" Applejack said as well. "Sounds good t' me!" I secretly hoped for some afternoon bacon but I wasn't holding my breath. Rainbow shrugged. "I guess I can stomach a visit to Egghead HQ if it means lunch." Applejack squinted at the brochure. "Looks like there's an exhibit on early Equestrian armor an' weapons..." A strong gust of wind ripped past us, a cerulean blur rocketing in the direction of the museum. "Try and keep up, slowpokes!" Rainbow yelled back at us. Fluttershy bopped her head to the side to imply a shrug and we followed. Fifteen minutes passed, and we finally caught up to Rainbow Dash, the pegasus leaning up against a shining stainless steel water fountain and tapping her left hind hoof as she checked her right pastern to glance at an invisible watch. Twilight glared half-heartedly at the display and rolled her eyes faux-pitifully, clearly amused by her compatriot's shenanigans and poorly attempted to conceal it in order to maintain her image as the disapproving leader. Rainbow threw me a wink and kicked off the water fountain, strutting beside Applejack and Rarity as she rejoined our merry little band. We soon reached an intersection of pathways, a single metal pole with multiple arrow-shaped signs helpfully reminding visitors the direction of the museum's main entrance, which lay eastward past a beige-colored brick road sandwiched between two lawns of crisp green grass and a row of cone-shaped miniature cedar pine trees. Beyond that, I glimpsed our destination. The Canterlot Museum was indeed a sight to behold, a unique hybridization of classic Greek architecture and contemporary art deco, the building itself was a tasteful marriage between the past and the future and a testament to the craftsmanship of ponykind. Composed of many large cubes from a grayish beige-white stone, possibly marble or granite, the museum's anterior was where the Greek influence was the most prevalent. A short flight of granite steps led the visitor to a portico of eight fluted columns, each approximately five-and-a-half feet in diameter and sixteen feet in height, supporting the entablature, the frieze, and the pediment, all of which were carved out of reinforced concrete and embellished with a faux gold façade. Above this, the stainless steel roof was crowned by a short round spire of dark gray marble and black brick that held up a dome of tinted green glass set in a polished brass framework. An army of bronze eagles guarded the roof's outer border, their wings raised high above their heads as they silently glared out over the plaza. "Wow," I stated simply. "I know right?" Twilight was grinning ear-to-ear like an idiot. "That was my reaction the first time my parents took me here." We climbed up the short flight of stone stairs and as we made our approach to the gargantuan front doors, I glanced upward towards the pediment, which was decorated with a bas relief in the shape of several toga-wearing ponies staring at a globe, a series of unfamiliar markings carved underneath the image. I briefly imagined there was a large serpent wrapped around the stone globe, its monstrous tail violently thrashing in between its titanic jaws, sickly-green clouds of toxic vapors sliding out of his mouth like twin plumes of pipe-smoke. Guttural, whooshing booms echoed within the solitude of his oceanic prison, every raspy collision almost akin to the sounds of two giant boulders lazily scraping up against one another at the bottom of a deep precipice. His eyes turned in my direction, latching onto me and pulling me in... What are you doing?" I was laying on my belly behind a massive tree stump and silently weeping to myself. However, it clearly wasn't silent enough, given the rather suddenly rapid arrival of the viper in front of me. Jormungandr slithered in closer and stopped to wind himself up into a comfortable coil-formation, his eyes remaining fixed on me during every rotation and he soon "sat" down. The fact was, Jormungandr wasn't that big, his length being at least close to that of a full-grown cat, but his intimidating presence and craftiness made me feel minuscule in comparison. I lifted my face from my forelegs and sniffled pitifully. "N-nothing." Intently focused orbs of yellow-green peered at me from a pear-sized head. "Nothing? Then why are you crying?" My cheek was still stung from Mother's stick and my back silently screamed in pain. After the lesson, she gave me six more lashings, one for interrupting her, one for distracting my siblings, and four due to making her lose her temper. I was then sent to the "punishment stone", a large jagged rock that my siblings and I were required to sit on whenever one of us put a toe (or tail) out of line. I stayed on the punishment stone for two hours without moving and then denied dinner, Mother's reasoning being that it was a reminder to show reverence for the jotnar that continued to die at the hands of the Aesir and to never forget my good fortune. I couldn't sleep so I came out to this part of the woods to take refuge behind "Old Half-Tree", who was the oldest tree stump in Járnviðr and one of the few friends that I'd made out here. Sure, Old Half-Tree couldn't run or hide but he never laughed at me or called me names. I sniffled once again. "Mother is so cruel. She hurts me, sometimes when I don't do anything wrong." Jormungandr shook his head. "No...no, she's not. She's getting us ready-..." "Ready? For what?! Some war we never asked to be a part of or made to despise people we've never met? Mother is mad!" "Maybe...you're right." Jormungandr shook his head but kept his gaze on me. "Maybe you're right," he repeated once more in a quiet tone, his tone consistently rueful. "Perhaps she is. Some birds told me earlier this morning that the other jotnar actively go out of their way to avoid Mother as one would a haugbúi. They say she is nothing more than a crazy witch and are afraid that they too could play host to her madness." I was simply stunned into silence. Not by the information, mind you, but rather from my brother's unexpected agreement with something I'd said. Usually I'd argue my point until I was red in the face while Jory would resort to his usual "bull-headed-stubborn-denial" play little brothers are known for. If you've ever argued with an örmþurs, then you'd know exactly how much of a pointless exercise in abject futility it is...and chances are more than likely that you have not. "But," he continued, "That doesn't change the fact that the Aesir continue to rule over us with their iron boot on our throat, their eyes fixed on Jotunheim all the time. They slaughter us by the hundreds and seduce our women so they can expel more half-blood bastards to join their ranks. There is a war brewing, Fenrir Úlfhamr. I just hope, for your sake, and the sake of our kind, that you choose the right side when it finally does arrive..." I stumbled a bit past the bright raspberry-enshrouded door and through the threshold, mentally shaking off the aftereffects of the recovered memory. Waiting for the rest of us to pass, Twilight entered the museum and gently closed the door behind her. The interior, as it soon became apparent, considerably dwarfed the already-magnificent exterior, succeeding it in both terms of architecture, color choices, atmosphere, and decadent attention to detail. The fact that it was only the entrance atrium gave off the impression of the builders' hard work and solidification of their shared vision, as well as further enticing the visitors and thus filling the owners' pockets. The atrium consisted of a truncated hexagonal room taking the form of eight white marble walls, a fresco ceiling and a shining linoleum floor. The surface of said floor was a metallic brownish-black that had been furnished with painted images of leaping salamanders, the flames of their arched backs whooshing backwards as they each simultaneously mirthfully leaped into pools of burning sulfur, their rounded arrow-shaped heads nearly bursting from their giant stupid grins. Between them were fiery five-point shooting stars dragging near-translucent yellow trails of glittering stardust that fell in showers of glittery silver-cored gold. Great grayish-white columns arrayed the room and stood watch from every corner, each one carved to resemble the image of a pegasus in mid-flight, determination and resolve etched into their finely-carved granite faces. The room practically glowed in the sunlight, assisted by the tag-team of the white marble walls and polished floors. "Cool," I whistled in deep admiration, not being this impressed since I first caught sight of the jotunn-built outer walls of Asgard and Valhalla's disc-bright golden columns and iron shield-thatched roof. Fluttershy playfully nudged me, giggling slightly at my awestruck state. We all headed past the ticket booth, a sherbet-orange pegasus guard showing us inside with a wing-wave. I soon found myself inside a gigantic, rectangular hall, its vast multi-tiered ceiling lined with wooden-railed staircases and wooden attic-style parapet towers. Across from us, the bleach white and dark gray skeletal remains of various creatures great and small, their bones put on display inside of an assortment of different sized and shaped glass boxes lined with thick strips of bolted titanium along the edges. "Welcome to the Ancient Paleoequisthal Era Wing, where history comes alive," a board-looking white mare drolly said into a megaphone, her blue gilded vest matching her long, spiky mane. "Jeez Tavi, this isn't what I meant when I said that I wanted a 'historical experience' for a job.'" Twilight's enthusiasm, however, had not faded. "This is the first stop on our incredible museum trip! I marked the best parts in red!" Applejack squinted at the map, her eyes darting back and forth. "Everything's in red." "Exactly!" Twilight squealed, doing a little shimmy. "All of the parts are the best parts!" "Can we go now? I think my head's losing brain cells," Rainbow Dash complained. "Where are all of the sharp, pointy things?" That's what she said! "I'd rather not visit the weapons section," Rarity commented dismissively. "Even thinking about cutty-stuff makes me feel dizzy." "The pointless desecration of good fabric?" I asked half-jokingly. "No, because of the thought of blood," Rarity shivered. So she's okay with beating changelings unconscious but hates blood? "Because that makes sense." "I'm with you there," Rainbow Dash nodded. "I think so too," Fluttershy agreed. "Right, so let's split up," Twilight declared. "My group, guided by yours truly, will consist of...myself, obviously! Fen, Fluttershy, Applejack and Rarity...while Rainbow's group will have Pinkie and Spike. Sounds good?" "Great! Hall of Pointy Stuff, here we come!" Rainbow Dash wing-pumped, whooping as she turned and sped down the hall, dragging Spike and Pinkie Pie behind her like a pair of banners caught in the wind. "A-actually, it's the...other...way," Twilight said weakly, her mouth quivering in a dumbfounded frown. "I'm sure she'll figure it out," I shrugged. Applejack looked up at me with a cocked eyebrow. "Are ya sure 'bout that, Big Guy?" "Come on, what's the worst that can happen?" I'd barely finished uttering that expression when Twilight began to loudly babble-hum to herself, her hooves seizing the sides of her head in a vice-like grip. "I didn't hear that! La-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la! Ah, ah, ahhhhh!" "That's kind of a taboo kind of word," Fluttershy explained to me. "It's like saying, 'Good luck' to a performer or breaking a mirror. Twilight really believes in that kind of thing." "Doo-doo-doo-doo-da-doo! Tum-tum-tum-tum-tum!" Twilight finished with a twirl and rhythmically tapped her left and right forehooves respectively, her head bobbing repeatedly upward in a mechanical motion. "Good? Good! Let's get this tour group started!" Twilight stated cheerfully, clearly wishing that the rest of us would just forget what we'd just witnessed and move on. You chose....wisely. Within a glass fence-enclosed dais in the center of the room, a towering reptilian creature with leathery shamrock-green skin stood proudly upon trunk-like legs, its serpentine neck reaching so high up that its almond-shaped head nearly touched the glass ceiling. I'd never had the chance to meet Níðhöggr, but based on the descriptions provided to me by Tyr, I could safely say that the creature looming overhead was a dead-ringer for the appearance of the dreki. You know, minus the feathery wings stuffed with corpses, the rows of tusk-like fangs, large claws, and aurochs-like cranial horns. Oh, and the streams of sizzling venomous saliva that constantly drip from his rotten carrion-odored maw. Can't forget about that. "That's Apatosaurus Ajax," Twilight pointed out, despite the blatantly-obvious, large-font brass plaque bolted to the front of the display. "I remember this thing from my fifth grade field trip," Rarity mused. "Do you remember that, Applejack?" "Ah sure do," the farm-mare nodded affably. "You locked eyes on that sucker an' nearly fainted." "I did not!" Rarity playfully swatted at Applejack's chest in mock-indignation. "I told you, the sun was in my eyes and I got very dizzy-..." "Right, right, an' you were dehydrated an' it was the bad broccoli-and-cheese casserole ya had for dinner the other night an' why won't you jus' admit that you were scared?" "I wasn't!" I ignored this and turned to Fluttershy. "I'm surprised you can be near this thing and not be scared." "I know it's just a dummy that they put up," she beamed and I was proud of her as well. "And that it's based on a pacifistic herbivore species so there's no reason for me to be scared. I'm no more scared of the Apatosaurus than I am of Harry the Bear or Queen Apisina XIV and her hive of seventy-four-thousand, three-hundred and ninety-nine honey bees." Yeesh, and here I was thinking that my father was the only one that knew how to pump out babies left and right. Loki, whilst in the shape of a mare, seduced a jotunn-horse named Svaðilfari and then gave birth to my stupid half-brother Sleipnir, who would become Odin's favorite steed. At least, that's the part of the story that he chooses to tell. Apparently, Loki, as the mare, had elected to "spend a lot of time" with his/her stud and actually birthed an entire herd of horses, choosing the octopedal Sleipnir as the one to return with him to Asgard. I once asked Tyr about the circumstances surrounding the All-Father's Mount and he relayed to me what was the accepted story, though I still have no clue as to whether or not my friend was aware of the truth or was trying to evade contribution to the rumor-mill. Ratatoskr, the World Tree's resident talking squirrel and loose-lipped gossip-monger, was passing through one Asgard day and I overheard him shooting the breeze with some Einherjar guards, loudly bringing up that infamous moment in mocking derision. It's a miracle he made it out of there when Loki charged at him with a rusty sword. "Well, that's great, Mother," I beamed and gently nudged her shoulder with my own. I then noticed something at the end of the right-side corridor. "What's that?" Without waiting for a reply, I trotted towards my quarry, my nails clicking across the linoleum as I carefully navigated myself around a sixth-grade class field trip. I then stopped, having arrived in front of the source of my focus and looked it over with a scrutinizing glance. Standing practically snout-to-snout, our faces separated by both glass and time, I intensely studied the canine skeleton, specifically the remains of a wolf slightly bigger than the Midgard variety. The bone-wolf's empty eye sockets seemed to bore into my eyeballs, both of which belonged to a large, broad skull whose bottom jaw hung open wide enough for one to receive a full glimpse of the great, hooked teeth that lined its interior. Its limbs were also comparatively shorter, the front and hind feet were smaller and the rib-cage was more thick and compact than the protruding ribs of its more common brethren. All in all, I'd say that this wolf relied more on sneak-attacks, brute strength, bite force, up-close brawling and teeth cutting-power than speed, endurance and response time. Without my unique physiology, intelligence and various abilities, I would probably not last long against this sucker in a one-on-one bout. The information placard at the wolf's feet informed me that my new buddy was what was known as a "Dire wolf" or "Aenocyon dirus" and that: "Native to the Frozen North and the southern region of the Crystal Mountains , the dire wolf is a fearsome predator known for its brute strength, ferocity and semi-cooperative hunting tactics, including trapping and finishing their prey or launching a violent surprise-attack." I called it! Stepping back a foot, I wondered what this individual was like, the sounds of their voice, the crispness of their howl. I could almost vividly imagine the dire wolf racing through a frost-bitten Hel-scape, their pre-hunt cry carrying on the shrieking midday winds. Evidently they still dwelt in the eternally-icy Frozen North, undisturbed by ponies or man, prowling the tundra's wilderness by both the light of day and the sable-black cloak of Nótt. I ignored the tingling numb throbbing in my hindleg and took a whiff. Fluttershy's scent arrived short before she did, nimbly and deliberately strolling towards me. "Are you alright?" She asked with great concern. I nodded. "I think so. It's just...so different." "Fen, there you are!" Twilight charged towards us at full-speed, Rarity and Applejack following closely behind. Skidding to a stop, the purple mare took a moment to catch her breath, all the while keeping her gaze directed in my general vicinity throughout her loud panting. The rest of us looked at her like she was insane. "Twilight, is everything okay?" Fluttershy inquired with a reasonable degree of concern. "Yes, I was just wondering that myself," Rarity exhaled, tossing her curly bangs out of her face. "You just took off like a bat out of Tartarus." "What gives, Twi?" Applejack sounded far less winded than her friends, not surprising given her overall more active and physically-demanding lifestyle. "I...I was just worried, that's all." Twilight lowered her head shamefully, her ears firmly pressed against either side of her skull. "I was supposed to be watching Fen but there was that whole chimera debacle and Madame Tarocchi's foray into memory-snatching." "That wasn't your fault-..." Twilight waved her hoof, as if to slice through Fluttershy's response. "It doesn't matter." She peered up at me intensely. "You're my responsibility, Fen. If something happens to you, or Faust forbid you were to die..." I shook my head and approached Twilight, stooping down so that we were eye-to-eye. "I understand what you're trying to say and while I appreciate your worry, you really need to calm down. I'm fine and even if I wasn't, it would have nothing to do with you. Besides, we don't even know for a fact that I can die." "No, but you were injured," Applejack observed. "Sure, ya healed fast an' all but your stay in th' hospital proves that you can be hurt an' if a critter can be hurt, then it's possible it can be killed." Rarity chimed in with a good point: "And there's the question of your rebirth. Do you have a set number of reincarnations or is this it? If you were to perish, would you re-spawn once more? If not, what about your soul?" I would've given them a gruff "I don't care" if I was feeling especially defiant yet the truth was, I was a bit scared of dying again. Not the actual process, mind you, but rather the probability of the end to my biological and spiritual existence. We Jotnar are taught to believe that upon our death, we travel to the plain of Okolnir and are greeted in the golden Hall of Brimir, the great progenitor to the Giants. There, all Jotnar are free to dance, drink beer and play until Ragnarok, where the virtuous souls of those that died during the event are permitted entrance into the realm. If such a place even existed, I never found it and I was elated at that particular fact, as my path led me here and to these silly creatures. I once asked Tyr where the Aesir and Vanir go when (if) they died and he explained that a god's essence returned to the nothingness of Ginnunagap, their souls drifting inside the Great Void until their next chance at life. Judging by my own experiences, as well as the unexpected reappearance of Tyr, it seems that the gods' beliefs were proven correct, that death was merely the transition between one state of existence to another. However, that still opened the door to a thousand more irritating questions that I had neither the patience nor inclination to seek out. If this is indeed my second and final life, then I shall enjoy it to the fullest while I can, chasing squirrels, disemboweling giant freak-of-nature predators, gorging myself with obscene amounts of bacon, et cetera, et cetera. Then, after a few centuries, I'll probably rot in the ground or something to that effect. I know, not especially exciting or grandiose but what do you expect? "That's an interesting theory," I said to Rarity. "But if this is the end of the tunnel, then I'm going to have to step through the entrance and emerge on the other side. My life belongs to none but me." "Yer not afraid of dyin'?" "Why not? I already did it once and it wasn't that bad." Minus the jaw-breaking, heart-impalement and drowning in my own blood. "Twilight," I continued, drawing the alicorn's attention. "You have a job to do and I get it but I'm not your responsibility. Please don't burden yourself with undue stress on my behalf." Although not entirely convinced, Twilight nevertheless nodded and stood fully erect once again. "Okay, I will try but don't expect me not to worry about you." "I would expect nothing less." The issue resolved, for the time being, anyhow, we resumed our trip, glancing at every skeleton, matte painting, dinosaur mannequin (or "dino-quin", as Pinkie would no doubt quip) that we came across. A trio of rabbit-sized bipedal creatures with long necks and narrow muzzles were gathered around a mock-up of a dinosaur nest, the sign on the display reading, "Procompsognathus triassicus" and describing these tiny avian-reptilian things as sustaining themselves on a diet of insects, lizards and small mammals. Next to that display, almost as if to provide a bit of visual juxtaposition, a triple-horned beast roughly the size of a full-grown Jotunheim cat "munched" on the leaves of a plastic tree-branch, a bony frill sweeping backward on its skull and its broad form supported by four thick tree-stump legs. Tour-Guide Twilight once again chimed in, declaring that this specimen was what was known as a "triceratops," a large, potentially aggressive herbivore and herd-animal that was built for physical durability and combat both inter-species and against predators. With its two long, spear-like forehead horns, the triceratops looked like it could inflict some real damage on whatever decided to cross its path. "Do you think you could wrangle that?" I asked Applejack. "Maybe," came her response. "Gonna need a lot of rope, though." Atop a bare faux-tree, a plastic winged animal rested on a thick limb, its pointed wings outspread in preparation for a take-off that would never arrive. The "Pteranodon sternbergi" as it was labeled, possessed an elongated snout protrusion that was more akin to an atgeir blade than a beak, its length and pointed tips specially designed for seizing fish, crustaceans, and cephalopods. There were more skeletons and dummies, some no bigger than a rat and a few that were larger than cows, some with head-crests and tail-spines and others in possession of curved sharp teeth and sickle-like claws. I briefly considered what each of them would've tasted like, considering the fact that I had never consumed a lizard before and that was an item on my bucket list that I wished to rectify. Perhaps their flesh was salty and thick, filled with rich layers of fat and blood that tasted like salmon or maybe it was smooth and fluffy, more akin to white chicken meat, the flavor of gravy clinging to every bite. That's not weird, right? Passing through the rest of the Paleoequisthal Era Wing, Twilight guided us to the Hall of Hippology, a sprawling forty-five-by-twenty-seven-foot wing dedicated to the history of pony existence and culture. Although not as packed as the previous exhibit, it was still heavily occupied, mainly by adults, the popping of camera bulbs flashing every now and then as the sea of bodies flowed and ebbed around our little band. I stayed close to Fluttershy, who was kind enough to keep a wing firmly grasping a hold of my lower foreleg, her proximity and physical contact creating a tranquil effect over me. Rarity and Applejack also maintained a close distance, reminiscing about their past visitations to the museum and previous Canterlot adventures. Meanwhile, Twilight was practically merging into me given her nonverbal insistence at invading my personal space and I felt as though this was a minor semi-issue that needed to be nipped in the bud. "Twilight?" "Yes, Fen?" "Could you step back a little? If you get any closer, I might as well be wearing you like a purple scarf." Staring down at her hooves, then up at me, Twilight offered a weak chuckle and scooched away. "Whoops. He-he, sorry." Was she really that concerned with my well-being? It seemed a bit off but seeing as how manic of a micro-manager Twilight could be, perhaps this was just a case of her trying to make sure that everyone (pony) in her group was safe and happy. Based on outside testimony, as well as my own first-hand (paw) experiences, Twilight tended to take responsibility for everyone and everything, to the point of causing great unwanted emotional duress, mainly to herself, along with miniature panic attacks and unwarranted attacks of guilt. It could be that she saw me as partially being her responsibility to look after, both as a friend-slash-student and to appease the wishes of Princess Celestia, who basically tasked the younger alicorn with keeping a close eye on me and reporting any and all findings about what makes me tick. I couldn't honestly one-hundred-percent blame Twilight for this but I still think she should learn how to relax. Maybe a coltfriend would "ease" some of that tension? We paused to glance past a large glass wall and towards the recreated scenario before us. It was a trio of life-like dummies, apparently simulacrums of an earlier iteration of the modern-day Equestrian pony, who were a bit taller and more muscular than their descendants, with thick, domed heads, longer, more narrow muzzles, elongated tuft-ended tails and appendages ending in stubby digits as opposed to hooves. The cave-ponies were situated within the plastic mock-up of a cavern's entrance, the wall behind them painted to resemble a raging nighttime snowstorm, swirly white puffs dotting a purple-black background. The three were huddled around a minuscule bonfire, one crouched down towards the tinder-base with flint and iron pyrite while the other two austerely watched on, their crude stone-and-stick spears gripped tightly within their odd balled-up fists. According to the glass-encased plaque, these were pre-modern early ponies, or Equus Primagenius, an intelligent semi-omnivorous race of odd-toed ungulates that were originally plains-dwelling odd-toed ungulates descended from the non-sentient Protohippus, but for some reason evolved into a more intelligent, primarily cave, hut and cliff-dwelling species. "I remember this," Rarity said aloud. "My fifth grade teacher explained how there was a sudden split and the Three Tribes evolved from the Equus Primagenius within the span of a few million years." Next to the glass enclosure was a large plastic-covered picture depicting the evolutionary process of the Three Tribes, a row of different equines all facing towards the right from the oldest to the most recent. Skipping past Protohippus Antiquus and Protohippus Initium, I followed the descension of the evolutionary process, from Equus Primagenius and then to Primus Caballus, which was separated into three distinct sub-species: Terra Equus, Alatus Equinuus, and Cornutus Equus, the fore-bearers of the earth ponies, pegasi and unicorns respectively. Ancient pegasi were the tallest of their contemporaries, owning elevated spindly limbs, a narrow skull with a sloping muzzle, high-set, spade-shaped ears and a pair of massive, plumage-embellished wings akin to the type found on a crane. Standing at least half of the pegasus' height, the ancestor of the earth ponies retained the larger skull of the Equus Primagenius, coupled with a significantly more muscular frame, its legs short but thick and sinewy, the fingers short and squat and their tips ending in nails resembling thick calcified semi-hooves. Lastly, the unicorn's progenitor was somewhere in the middle in terms of physical stature, its head reaching the top of the pegasus' withers and loftier than the early earth pony, who only reached the pegasus' shoulder. The ancient unicorn possessed a prominent, nearly four-foot horn upon its brow, the spiraling, segmented pike sprouting from a burr-covered keratin pedicle. I'd imagined it saw a great deal of violence from foreign threats to inter-herd rivals, especially the males during mating season. The earth ponies of old probably bashed each-other's heads in with kicks to the skull, drawing on their geokinetic connection to the ground and soil to strengthen their blows. As for the "proto-si", they could've engaged in aerial duels in order to slay their opponents and obtain a mare or two, incapacitating the competitor so badly that he could do nothing but plummet to his messy demise as the victor enjoyed the spoils of his conquest. What an experience that would've been. "Why is that?" Fluttershy asked. "The exact reasoning behind the process remains unknown," Twilight enclosed academically, as though she were a university professor. "Nopony knows for certain how or why the Protohippus evolved into the ancestors of us modern Equus Caballus Sapiens. They all inhabited the same localized areas yet developed different physical traits, appendages and magical abilities to suit their own individual needs." This evolution business was quite fascinating. I wonder if anyone back home was even aware of such a concept? Twilight cheerfully led our little quintet further down the hall, giving a long-winded commentary on every dummy cave-pony, fossil, skeletal remains, primitive weapon and piece of unearthed pottery that we passed. The ease with which she spouted off pages worth of memorized information left me wondering how many times she'd visited the museum. However, in the interest of my sanity, I held my tongue and allowed her to continue firing off facts. I didn't require a long-winded origin of Twilight's in-depth familiarity with the exhibits or her expertise on ancient equine culture. "Following the Great Division, the proto-Three Tribes split off into their own respective societies, though they continued to trade and even interbreed." "Wait a minute," I interrupted. "Does that mean if a pegasus 'mixes' with a unicorn, you get an alicorn?" Twilight gave an amused snort and shook her head at me. "No, I'm afraid it doesn't work like that. As far as archaeologists and hippologists are concerned, Alicorns didn't appear until the Hyperborian Migration in the Second Century of the Melniponéan Age, circa ten-oh-four Pre-Equine Unification. The first of their race was Queen Faustina I of Loreniia, a near-mythical sorceress that was chosen by Aneris, Goddess of Harmony, to wield the powers of the Three Tribes and united the island-nations of Númenor, Valusia, Opar, Kôr and Kadath. Over time, she created more alicorns and they ruled a mighty empire spanning twelve-thousand years until their near-eradication by the Lords of Chaos in the year fourteen-seventy-three Post-Equine Unification. After that, the survivors eventually settled in what would become known as 'Equestria' along with the Three Tribes." Applejack patted my foreleg. "It's okay, Big Fella. It took me some time t' get it too." "Twilight, how do you remember all of this?" Rarity glanced at her friend in amazement. "I have a hard enough time making sure I get everything I need at the marketplace." "Elementary. The mind is like an ever-expanding brick house, becoming bigger the more you add to it. All you have to do is pay attention, using your focus as the mortar and slathering a healthy amount on every brick of knowledge." If the mind is the house, knowledge the bricks and focus the mortar, then what about the wooden beams or the roof-tiles? I suppose memory could be the beams and enthusiasm is the tiles? Metaphors are convoluted, anyway. This is why wolves don't really bother with such pedantry or deep-rooted mental themes. A metaphor can't chase down an elk or rip its throat out. "Come on, Fen," Fluttershy giggled, pulling on my forelimb. "There's more to see." A little further down, I took note of the mosaic murals that ran the length of the walls supporting them, starting with the very first mural on the far-left side. It displayed the image of something that looked an awful lot like draconequus(?), except this hybrid-beast was a bright blood-crimson with rabbit-like front teeth, long spindly clawed fingers, catfish-like barbels on its face and head and obsidian-tipped wings that cut through empty star-littered spaces in a manner akin to two cosmic scythes. On his forehead was a symbol consisting of eight black-marble arrows shooting out of a fixed point, the arrowhead-tipped spoke-wheels of the chaos wheel were inlaid with blood-red jasper that appeared to "drip" with scarlet fluid when refracting the light from the windows. Across from him, an ivory-white and grayish-egg-colored mare was gently reaching out to her colleague with curled viridian-green wing-feathers, a single golden upward-pointing arrow resting upon her immaculate brow. In between the cosmic couple was an army of infant creatures that they apparently created together, some were blatantly obvious, like the equines, griffins and dragons, along others I had yet to be able to identify. There were rams, earth ponies, pegasi, unicorns, an alicorn, a dragon, a griffin, a changeling and something resembling Discord, except it had a cobra-like hood and gave off a far more malicious aura than the Discord we all knew and tolerated (to a certain degree). It (she?) was simply and purely evil. "Isn't that amazing?" Twilight practically squeed behind me. I swear, if she's doing a jaunty la-la-la-la spin by the time I finish turning around I'll-- "What does it mean?" I asked her as she took her position at my left. "That's Aneris and her mate-cum-eternal adversary Eridias, the God of Disharmony. They are the two primary ruling forces in all of existence, at least, that's what all known Equestrian races believe to be the case." Twilight pointed towards the second mural, in which the two gods and every type of sentient being were genuflecting before a giant floating pair of balanced weighing scales, the electrum-colored object wrapped in a brilliant light that forced the kneeling creatures below it to shield their eyes, lest they presumably be rendered blind by the sight. The fulcrum and handle were designed to where they formed the likeness of a sword hilt, complete with a "crossguard" accompanied by coffin-shaped quillons, the tips of which dangled steel rope connecting to a pair of polished bronze bowls containing the alicorn's sigil on the left and the quasi-draconequus' on the right. The top of the scales' handle was crowned with a half-red, half-black orb whose surface was dominated by a downward-pointing bronze arrow, the head wreathed in smokeless blue flames. On the orb's left side was a shining multi-rayed sun and on the opposite one a black and blue crescent moon with tall black rectangles emanating from the crescent's peak. I didn't know what it was but it was kind of...hypnotic in a sense. "That's a depiction of the pair, as well as their offspring, all agreeing to the rules of the Cosmic Balance, the de facto lead entity in the universe. To ensure that everything continues running, the Cosmic Balance created the Eternal Conflict, the great never-ending war between Law and Chaos." Just the thought of something like that existing delivered a series of shuddering electric ripples down my backbone. She indicated the third-to-left mural. The stage was set for a mighty battle between two armies: the right-flying banisters of the Single Arrow and the sinistral-flying arrow-star banisters of the Octo-Arrow, the right army leading a trail of red-orange fire-streaks in their wake, the outside of the sculpture painted a blue-tourmaline dotted with pearl-hearted clouds. The right army charged towards its foe-men with axes, and swords and spears, Their coal-black and steel-edged flames washing forward above like a crashing wave against the shore. Their hated sworn enemies charged onward like iron-clad tanks, spears, flails, maces and war-hammers raised like ivory wheat stalks. High above the embittered combatants, the bronze scales of the Cosmic Balance looming overhead in the grip of a pale-blue disembodied hoof. "The First Goetic War," Twilight commented in a level tone. "Over five-thousand years ago, a brave order of unicorn-mages fought a race of shadow-ponies, savage creatures that could become living darkness and were skilled warlocks and necromancers. They waged a campaign to conquer all of Equestria and cover the world in a global empire of eternal darkness." The next depiction in the lineup was another battlefield, where pearl orbs were zipping forward on wavy-rows and colliding with a red glass barrier, inside of which featured red-tinted jet-black ponies settled atop a light sea-blue castle, which I quickly recognized as the Crystal Palace in the Frozen North. The black castle ponies were all raising a hoof in the direction of the heart-shaped diamond that hung over their heads, a connection to the Crystal Heart that I made but couldn't figure out, as I was woefully uninitiated in that particular topic. To the west, a dark gray-blue stallion with blood-red eyes and a crooked, stag-antler on his head was blowing into a curved ivory horn, radiating a massive cone of variously-sized dark blue "C-waves". A series of golden-yellow inlaid glyphs were inscribed on the instrument and tried as I might, the language was completely alien to me so they offered up no clue as to what was going on. From out of the tallest mountains came a trio of horrendous-looking phantom horses with light blue chalcedony forms and chilling light blue eyes that appeared to watch the onlooker, a deliberate aesthetic choice, no doubt, given the windigos' fearsome reputation combined with their legendary status. A momentary tic caused me to almost freeze in place, likely due to the image of a demonic blue goat on the top-center of the wall. There was a gray and emerald bell adoring his collar and the windigoes were apparently shooting out of the bell like sling-shot pebbles. That was the exact same ram that I saw during Madame Tarocchi's cartomancy reading, the azure-demon with the cursed bell and the gaze of arrogant cruelty. I remember asking Twilight about this post-tarot-reading and she said something about an evil ram emperor that ruled over Equestria with an iron hoof until he was defeated and banished. I think his name was Grabor or something. "The weird-looking pony at the top of the mountain was Prince Fraxinus," Twilight continued. "He was the ruler of a race of equines known as 'niriks'. In the middle of an active battle, he fled to the peak of Mount Thundertop and blew the Horn of Wights, summoning the wendigos and making a bargain with the wraiths for the power to end the war once and for all." "And did he?" "I...don't know. No one does. The records are very vague when it comes to this part. Some historians believe that he used a forbidden magic to wipe away both armies and vanished into the unknown once his task was done while others are of the opinion Fraxinus was destroyed by the very power he tried to master and destroyed the opposing armies by accident." I thought back to the first image, of the mare with the golden arrow brow-marking. "So the Alicorns are representative of Law and Order?" I asked, generally intrigued by this latest insight into the pony theological belief system. Twilight nodded, then half-shrugged three times in succession. "Weeeell, yes and no. Alicorns are said to act as the agents of the Lords of Order but that doesn't automatically mean that all of them served that side. Actually, there was originally a King Alicorn and a Queen Alicorn that ruled Equestria but then the First Goetic War broke out, concluding with Prince Fraxinus' seizure of arcane power and the death of the King Alicorn and his eldest son. Since that created an imbalance, there were no more male alicorns and all future alicorn royalty would only be titled 'Princess' instead of 'King', 'Prince' or 'Queen.'" "Is that why Shining Armor isn't a Prince despite being married to Cadence?" "That's right," Twilight nodded. "This all happened as a by-product of 'Fraxinus' Final Doom', as it was called." Jeez, does pony history and lore get any deeper? I'll be fifty-one by the time I learn all of this stuff! The exit-side of the tunnel reverberated with a loud clanging-bang, followed by shouts of discontent. "What in the blazes is goin' on?" Applejack's inquiry was answered when a giant bronze gong rolled past the adjoining hallway and crashed into something, presumably another wall, with a booming thud. Pinkie Pie, wearing a heavy barbute-helm, was rolling out of control in a runaway chariot, yipping and cheering to herself as she waved around a pair of short-swords. Following her, a nauseated-looking Spike was sliding along the floor on a round shield, the friction creating a scraping sound accompanied by little yellow-golden sparks. Finally, a familiar blue blur frantically raced after her wayward compatriots. "I didn't do it!" Rainbow Dash rapidly yelled in a single breath. I slowly rotated to face Twilight. She was indistinctly muttering to herself, her right eye heavily twitching and the corners of her mouth were halfway fluctuating between a manic grin and an aggravated scowl. Fluttershy once again pulled me close to her. "I think it's time for a lunch break," she sighed.