//------------------------------// // Recovering Sucks! // Story: This Sucks: A Story About The First Human In Equestria // by Justa Dooda //------------------------------// Recovering from grievous injuries suck so much. For the first couple of days you only had the strength to get up to use the bathroom and get back to your bed. It’s been hard to sit still with the pain, but you had the freedom to move around and explore. However there was always a pesky flying pony as your chaperone at all times of the day it seemed. What with your ‘fragile’ body as she put it, she thinks you can't be trusted to take care of your own damn self. Well that's is ridiculous but it doesn't matter what you think or say, it just falls on partial deaf ears. Though you have to admit there are some perks of being under this ponies care. It can be annoying, but when you have a back scratch she gets that for you. When you rested for the whole day and you have a nasty backaches? Your caretaker mare seems to have the cure by walking on your back and kneading out the pain. When you feel thirsty and you try to get yourself some water, she gets a glass of water for you from a sink with functional plumbing. Hungry? Well that is taken care of as well. She must have a vast knowledge of animals, because for only a couple days she has figured out rather quickly just by looking at your human teeth what you can what and what you can't eat. Fruits, vegetables, and other treats she whips up for you with ease. If only she can cook some kind of meat. A steak or maybe some chicken would be nice, however that becomes a problem now you know that from the brief observations you have with this pony, she really likes the chickens she takes care of. Damnit. But not all hope is lost! There are some otters that live under that natural bridge of hers, you have seen here take some kind of cod, or maybe salmon to feed them. Maybe you can convince her that you like fish. I mean you hate fish, fish is god awful! however, meat. Meat is good. Meat is needed right now. That would be difficult to convey what with language barrier makes that request almost null and void. Plus she shoos you away from other critters meals doesn't help either. That sucked, damnit! What reallysucks right now is all of your clothes have been ripped to shreds and beyond repair. You got nothing, no way to cover yourself up. The sentient ponies here seem to not give a damn about your nakedness. But you certainly do. You don’t like prying eyes peering at your junk and judge! The closest thing that you caught some ponies staring at your bits was the lavender pony with both wings and a horn that seems to come by from time to time. Maybe she likes you, or maybe she thinks you are a freak and is keeping records to blackmail you later. You hope that nothing bad could come of it. Or maybe it’s a normal thing for them to stare at each other's genitals? All you know is she drew your outward anatomy on a scroll while using her horn of hers a couple of days ago. To what ends on why she did this, you don't know. Though from the few days you have been resting, you had the opportunity to learn a lot about this pony trope that was with the grayish gold pony. First, you know just by context clues when they converse in their alien horse language you got their names. Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle and finally your caretaker Fluttershy. Secondly those horns on them are not for show but are used to make what only you can describe as magic or miracles. Magic ranging from levitation, phasing out of existence or even bringing a weird image to life. Now that you think about, maybe it was Twilight that shot a bolt of light at the manticore to save your life. Next is Fluttershy. She can talk to animals. But for some odd and obscure reason she understands you as much as you understand her trope of her pony friends language. You can talk to her and maybe a few times she picks up on you, other times it's like speaking to a brick wall, only hearing what she wants to hear, or maybe she thought of what she heard from you. There is a very clear disconnect between you and Fluttershy. That really sucked. That had to be the biggest suck about your situation. You are so close yet so far away to get answers about where you are and why you are here. But no, you are taunted by only pony that seems to somewhat understand you. If you could get the answers you want, will it change anything? Maybe. Will it be good answers or bad answers? You will cross that bridge when you get to it. Today was another simple day, though for some reason Fluttershy was insistent to wash you more than normal. This was fine, it felt nice to get cleaned. What was a little odd is that she was going all out with her cleaning duties. Usually she would just just wash you down with a sponge of water and a mixture of some kind of herbal mixture, which smells god awful but maybe it makes you smell better to other creatures and Fluttershy’s noses? This time she actually is giving you a nice wash with actual shampoo. Huh. You wonder why she was going the extra mile today? You raised your arm up upon request from your caretaker to clean your pits with a nice warm sponge bath, "Hey, Fluttershy, where are we? Where is this place?" You give her a side ways look. "I know you don't like baths, but it's good for you, and you need to be proper for Twilight.” The content goldish pony hummed and gently flies over to your other side to get under your bandaged arm pit. "What is two plus two?" You narrowed your eyes, asking this you knowing she's not going to respond to you properly. "Are you thirsty again? I can get you some water for you again after we clean you up." She tilted her head at you with her ears swiveling. "You suck so much right now, I can clean myself you know Fluttershy" you grumbled. This is getting quite annoying. "That's okay you don't have to eat your broccoli this time, but it's good for you!" She smiled as she wringed out the sponge into the wood bucket. "Oh I need to get more clean water, stay right there Windle." She grabbed the bucket with her teeth and gently breezed by you, "where the hell am I gonna go?" You raised your working arm in the air in protest. She stopped at the door to place down her bucket, "Oh yes certainly!" She hovered over to a nearby drawer to fish out with her teeth… A tennis ball… She thought you wanted a tennis ball. A used, faded, barely functional… …Tennis ball… … She thinks I'm some kind of dog. She gently tosses the ball to you. it makes an arch, splashes in the wash tub. You watched as the mall floated around the wash basin. You begin to etch into your memory filling this moment under ‘most disrespected you have felt in your life.’ “Windle be good, I’ll be right back,” She turns around to go just only a couple of feet to a nearby faucet to fill her bucket with warm water. “Yeah because I'm going to be bad when you're right there.” You said sarcastically as you shifted causing a sloshing of your bath water in the pony sized bath basin. Fluttershy responds; taking the bucket off hot water to return to your cleansing duties, “Come on, Twilight isn’t that bad, but I can see why you don’t like her looking at you. You are quite a shy, yes yes you are. ” She cooed at you. She scrubs your chest. “Shy? I'm not shy, I just don’t like to be gawked at.” Why are you even responding? She can’t understand you. You sigh, it must be social reflex that you can't help. “Oh you want more soap?” hummed as he fluttered over to a bottle of shampoo and with her teeth squeezed the contents onto a large brush. This bristled utensil you recognized as the same one she uses to clean that bear that seems to be around here from time to time. That bear freaks you out, so luckily it just meanders and minds its own business giving you no such a mind if they get their honey from Fluttershy. “Fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck fuck!” you growled out as you were brushed to perfection. Fluttershy seems to giggle at our outburst. Maybe she thinks that you're laughing or giggling as well? Well you figure ‘fuck’ means funny or you were laughing. Good to know. Something about this pony when it smiles like that. She's cute, the kind of cute you want to pet all day everyday. However when she stares at you, that feeling quickly becomes oppressive dread. How can two very different traits coexist inside that one pony? As Fluttershy washes you down, you begin to wonder. Why do you need to be ‘proper?’ What is the proper standard for these ponies? If you wanted to be proper you would have clothes back. But that's impossible after your fateful night in that damn forest. And even if you did have your clothes you won't be on you. You are an animal to the eyes of Fluttershy, and by extension to the rest of the ponies. That sucks knowing that pets don't where clothes unless the owner wants them to be dressed up. Well at least the lavender pervert will just come back, draw or write something down on a scroll or in a book of hers; then bugger off. Leaving you alone for some time before she makes another round to bug you some more. Your internal monologue was interrupted when you got a cold splash over your head, “Wha-Fuck! Ooh that's cold. What the hell? Oh shit-” “Okay big guy all done. Look how clean you look. Twilight is gonna love this.” She interrupted your ramble. She looked up and tapped her for hoof to ponder, “But, why would Twilight want Windle to be proper? Is she taking him to school? Well I didn’t approve of this.” She scrunched her muzzle as she beckoned to get out of the wash basin. School? She grabbed a towel with her teeth and vigorously patted you dry. “Yer ‘ou go Wingle, ‘ice ‘nd’ ‘ry” She muffled through the towel. “Fluttershy, I can dry myself please for the love of-” You groaned and grabbed the towel from her and started to dry yourself off. “Okay big guy, I'll let you dry yourself.” She smiled and fluttered out of the bathroom. Drying with one arm is a pain in the ass, but at least getting out of this bandage might come sooner than you expected. So maybe once your dominant arms become fully functional, you can write a letter telling that damn pony that you are a person and should be treated like a wild animal! Just maybe a day or so. You just got to hold out just a little longer of this treatment. You haphazardly wrap the towel around your waist. It becomes quickly apparent that this is too small to fit around your form. Well shit no makeshift clothing from this towel for you. You figured at least you can use some blankets to cover yourself up. In place of having something to cover yourself, You somehow convinced Fluttershy that you were just cold all the time, a creature like yourself must be from a desert of some kind. That is somewhat true. But mostly it’s because you don't want to be naked all the time. You have standards god damnit! You make your way downstairs. You jump out of the way when a couple of ferrets seem to be fighting with one another “Damn ferrets, go fight somewhere else. Jeez.” You shake your head. You gingerly step over the ruckus. You place your towel on the arch of the couch and cover yourself up. You sit down It creeks in protest from your weight. Thump Thump Thump. You look down to see a small white bunny, its expression frowning and tapping its big foot impatiently its feet at you. “...Yeah?” You say to this bunny. You know it can’t understand you, but it's a very animated creature, it conveys so much emotions quite well from its tiny little body The bunny squeaks angry at you, now stomping with both feet angrily. “What? What do you want?” You say leaning forward you look down at this fluff of terror. It points at a spot on the couch. “Did I take your spot?” You condescended the impatient bunny. It stops its fussing and nods its head in agreement. Its face is happy that you are being nice to its request. “Well that sucks dude.” You lean back and spread out to take up the whole couch. Well that was a mistake. As soon as you close your eyes to take a nap, the little bastard jumps on your leg and bit you quite hard! “Agh! You Fucker!” you bat the rabid rabbit away from your leg. You check your injuries. The little terror didn’t break skin, but now you got a wet bite mark on you. Fucker. “Jeez fine you little asshole take a spot. Damn.” You get to your feet and walk off the pain. “Fucking little bastard.” You hear hooves hitting dirt just outside the entrance to the cottage. Followed by a rapping against the door. I bet that is that lavender pervert. “Be right there.” You hear Fluttershy call out from the other room. A nerdy equine voice come from behind the door in response. You go to the window and see that, yup, you called it. It was indeed the winged and horned lavender pervert from a couple of days ago. She had a saddle bag on her back that looked like it was filled with books. Double yup. She is definitely going to write things about you and ask you things in a language you don't understand. Twilight notices you and she waves enthusiastically towards you. You scowled at her. She raised an eyebrow at you leaning her head back confused. You retorted by sticking your tongue out at the pervert pony. She shakes her head and gasped at you like you just insulted her mother at a family dinner. She frowns and sticks her tongue out at you, blowing a raspberry right back. You chuckled. Serves her right for sketching your naughty bits. Your eyes drift away from the pervert to see there is someone new you haven't seen before. This creature was behind Twilight. And it mostly looked like you from the waist up. However it had more of a gray tone of fur across is mid and upper section of his body. He was skinny just like yourself. Though from the waist down it was like a bull legs with jet black coat with well trimmed hooves. His head was bull-like as well, though he wore corrective lenses and his horns angled out from each side of its head, before winding away from you like a ram. He was just standing behind Twilight on her right flank, crossing his arms with a serious look on his face. Who or what are you? Fluttershy walks by you and opens the door catching her friend mid raspberry. Fluttershy eye an raised an eyebrow at her friend. “Twilight?” Twilight smiled nervously and rubbed the back of her head. She sounded embarrassed. Flutterhy looks back at you. “Making faces at you? Windle that's not nice.” She frowned and than sighed. You shrugged at your caretaker. If you try to argue she can make you do what she commands you to do or worse that stare that she can do. So might as well hold your tongue to not trip yourself up and avoid such a fate once more. Fluttershy returned to Twilight, “Well anyways please come in. Don’t mind Windle, he is still a cranky little boy. Oh! You brought a minotaur friend?” Twilight and this ‘minotaur’ walks into the cottage. Twilight raised her forehoof and introduced her friend. “Steve?” Fluttershy said in a confused voice. She looked up at Steve with unease. Steve? What kind of name is Steve? Steve stayed dead silent, only staring you down. That made you feel a little odd. This was the first creature you met that didn’t want to eat you and is the same height as you. But the way he was looking at you made you feel off. The two ponies walked away to another room as the conversation started to flow between the two. This just left you by yourself with this ‘Steve.’ A moment passes between the two of you. You get the idea that maybe he is part human, maybe he can talk to you. You clear your throat. “Uhhh…hey.” You say trying to start up a conversation. The minotaur, still crossing his arms, said nothing to you. “You…you come around here often?” No response. “You gonna say anything?” Nothing. “Hey, do you even understand me?” Steve continues to stare down at you. He flared his nostril to give a loud sigh. “Where am I? Do you know what I am? Why are you hanging out with a purple pervert?” You questioned the half bull man. Steve remained stoic and did not respond. You walked up closer to him and snapped your fingers in front of his face. He didn't like that one bit. Steve huffed and batted her hand away from his face. “Come on, give me something. Anything!” “No.” Steve said with a brassy voice that rumbled your eardrums. You freeze. Was that a direct response to you? “You understand me?” you point a finger to your chest. Steve unfazed, stood his ground and remained stoic. “Hey…” you eyes pleading for a response. Steve remained as he was. “HEY!” You shouted, now getting desperate. He talked to you, you just know it! And if he can talk and he's around that pervert pony, he must know something! You approach and grabbed his forearm “I know you responded to me, tell me what I want to know!” Steve huffs angrily and jerks his arm away from you. Before you can press any further, you hear a set of hoof steps coming back to you. “Well, I don’t know, he is a new critter that I haven’t seen before in my life. But if you think it's safe once he recovers?” Fluttershy questioned Twilight. Twilight nodded her head and gestured to Steve. She rolled her forehoof; bobbing her head as she looked like she was explaining something to Fluttershy. “If you put it like that, then I guess it is a good idea and we might be able to teach the students how k-kindness doesn’t have to stop with other creatures but with other critters too. Twilight made a strange noise that the best way you can describe it was a squee of delight. She used her horn to levitate some kind of calendar out. She used her magic to levitate a quill and seemed to be pointing at dates. You caught a glimpse to see writing that you don’t understand. The quill lands on a date that looks like it's the end of the month. Shit. Those words are just squiggles! How the hell is she suppose to read english? The conversation continued. “Of course Twilight, I should be back after Windle here makes a full recovery.” Fluttershy nodded and affirmed whatever Twilight was conveying to her friend. For the next few hours you did basic tasks as for Twilight. Pick up this item. Jump here. Sit there. Throw this ball and Twilight seemed to record the distance with your non-dominant arm. Growl. Say nonsense words. You get the feeling that maybe she is recording you for a catalog of some kind. Or. Maybe she is getting data on you so she can write a story about how you and her are a couple and do unholy things to each other when night falls. You shutter at the thought that a pony can be coming onto like that. After what felt like hours of random tasks, Twilight and Steve bid their farewells. The sun was getting low in the sky, and you felt like it was time for a nap. Fluttershy looks at the time and begins her evening feedings and chores around her home. As you eat your meal of apples and broccoli, you couldn't help but think of just how strange Steve was. Something about him was just off about that guy. You took a bite out of an apple, the sweet nectar was a nice little treat for you. You continue your pondering. It was on the tip of your tongue. But what? Sure he was quiet. That was weird about that guy. He also just stood there and just stared at you. Did he know you? No that can’t be it, he looked more like he didn't want to be there at the cottage. But he responded to you directly! That was the first time in days someone actually looked you in the eyes and responded to you directly and without any misinterpretations. Then it dawned on you. You look down at your free hand. You grabbed his arm to try to get some answers out of him. Sure he jerked away, who wouldn’t? But you swear that he had a gray fur coat that covered from waist up. But you didn’t feel that. No it felt like…skin. Human skin. With your bandaged up arm you flex your index finger to rub your forearm. Yup no doubt about it, his arm and your arm felt exactly the same. But how? He had to be a furry bullman, or is this place just messin' with your head? Did Twilight use her horn and play a prank on your sense of touch? You have seen magic happen, and you don’t know the limits of it. Hell, is there a limit of magical potential to any creature here that has a horn like the pervert? You finish your apple and toss it to a composting trough in Fluttershy’s kitchen. Well this is starting to make your head hurt. But maybe you can make heads or tales in the morning. You lay down in your makeshift bed that Fluttershy made for you. The heat of the fire relaxed you as sleep started to drift into your mind.