//------------------------------// // Hiraeth of a Mare // Story: Harmonic Cognition // by Jymbroni //------------------------------// Octavia trotted down the street after finishing practice with her quartet group. It was their second to last rehearsal before the concert, so Octavia assumed they just needed to clean up a few sections, but no. Morenda had taken five steps back since their last session, and because she played the bass, she was pivotal in keeping the group on tempo. She let out a heavy sigh; it was the icing on the terrible cake, and the cherry on top was that it had pushed back her evening plans with Vinyl. Octavia glanced up at the fading sun. "I hope Vinyl isn't too mad at me." Picking up the pace, Octavia returned to their apartment with a couple of minutes to spare. "I'm so sorry, Vinyl!" Octavia apologized as she hastily made her way through the door. "We should have been done way earlier, but somepony couldn't keep tempo to save their life. Buy a metronome, for Celestia's sake!" Octavia waited for a response, but none came. "Vinyl?" As she listened for the presence of her marefriend, Octavia slowly stepped further into the apartment. The eerie silence sent her nerves on edge Vinyl should have been home since her class ended at twelve. Scanning the apartment, Octavia had an uneasy sensation crawl up her spine. "Vinyl, you better not..." "BOO!" The unicorn jumped out from behind her sending Octavia into the air as her heart slammed against her ribcage. Octavia reflexively bucked her hind legs, trying to catch the would-be assailant unaware. She wasn't going down without a fight. "Whoa!" Vinyl cried out, dunking from the incoming strike. "Easy, Tavi, it's just me!" "I know!" "Somepony's feisty," Vinyl teased. Octavia spun around, still on edge, to see the DJ laughing against the wall. "You know I hate that." "But it's so much fun!" She teased, bouncing up to her hooves. "Plus, you were super close to putting another hole in the wall." Octavia rolled her eyes as she brushed the errant strains of her mane back to settle down. "That would have been your fault." "Pffft." Vinyl waved a dismissive hoof. "I've gotten so good at repairing drywall the landlord would've never known." Octavia let out a heavy sigh as she propped her cello case in the corner. "You make it seem like I do it all the time." "I'm just messing with you." Vinyl made her way over and nudged Octavia's shoulder. Octavia couldn't help but notice that Vinyl looked like she was about ready to burst. "What has you in such a good mood?" "It's me! It's me! They. Picked. Me!" She watched in confusion as Vinyl bounced up and down. "Picked you for what?" "You remember that study abroad program I thought about applying for way back?" Vinyl returned to the ground, placing her hooves on Octavia's shoulders. "Well, I did it and got selected!" "That's wonderful!" Octavia wrapped her marefriend in a firm embrace. "I'm so proud of you, Vinyl!" They remained locked in a deep embrace as the week's stress melted away. "So when do you leave?" "In a couple of weeks," Vinyl said, trying to reign in her excitement. "Nothing like this ever happens to me." "You deserve it," she cooed, stroking Vinyl's mane. "Thanks for making me take that musical theories course." Vinyl tightened her grip. "I would have never listened to things outside of what I liked, and now I get to travel Equestria and experience first hoof!" "I want what's best for you, and I'm happy that you're finally opening yourself up to other styles of music." "So, does that mean you'll come to the club to watch me perform?" Vinyl asked, pulling back. "Maybe," Octavia said softly, bopping Vinyl on the nose. "Ugh," Vinyl moaned, rolling her head back. "You always say that." "That's because clubs are the last place I want to be. I much rather enjoy your music from our apartment than a loud, dingy club where pony's have zero sensibility about personal space." "Fine," Vinyl conceded as her ears went flat. "Vinyl, it's just not my cup of tea, and you know that." "I know," she admitted, sitting on the couch. "I just wish you'd go with me at least once." "I will, I promise!" Vinyl glanced up. "Hoof to heart?" Octavia smiled brightly at her marefriend. "Hoof to heart." Vinyl smiled as the joy returned to her eyes. "So, how long will you be gone?" Octavia asked; she tried to recall Vinyl talking about it, but that was months ago, and Vinyl hadn't brought it up since. "Umm," Vinyl muttered, rubbing the back of her neck. "That's the hard part." Octavia's brow furrowed as Vinyl began to click her hooves nervously. "Why?" Vinyl let out a long breath. "I will be gone for a year." "What?" she blurted out as her heart fell into her stomach. "A whole year? Vinyl, we've only been dating for four months and..." "I know!" Vinyl cut her off. "I'm sorry. I should have told you." "Yes!" She exclaimed, frustrated that Vinyl would hide something from her. "That is a significant detail!" "I was worried that you would have said no," Vinyl confessed. "I honestly didn't think I would be selected, if that makes it any better." "No!" She shouted as her emotions started to get the best of her. How was she going to manage without her for an entire year? Of course, she had classes and some friends outside of Vinyl. "Tavi." She would need to figure out what to do when she got back to the apartment to keep her mind occupied. Should she take up a new hobby? "Tavi!" She could always do some tutoring sessions for some of the foals. It wouldn't hurt to get some more bits, plus it would eat up more of her downtime. "Octavia!" "What?" She snapped, still trying to come to terms with Vinyl leaving her. "Are you okay?" Vinyl asked, clicking her hooves together. Octavia rolled her eyes as she stopped pacing. "What do you think?" Vinyl's shoulders sagged as her ears went flat. "You're mad at me." "No... yes..." Octavia shook her head. "I don't know. It's just a lot to take in." "I know," Vinyl conceded, her eyes fixed on the ground. "I still haven't fully processed it either." Octavia looked at the ground as she fidgeted with the polished floorboard. "I'm not ready for you to leave." Vinyl chewed on her lower lip. "I know." Octavia glanced up at her marefriend, causing her anger to subside. She was being an idiot. Why was she doing this to her? Vinyl was excited about something outside of DJing, and she was taking away all that joy. Her stomach twisted into knots as she looked at Vinyl's defeated demeanor. Octavia slowly climbed onto the couch next to her, resting her head on Vinyl's shoulder. "I'm sorry," she said softly, wrapping her forelegs around Vinyl's barrel. "All I've done is make it about me when I should be happy for you." Vinyl gave her a small smile as she returned the gesture. "It's okay. I had a feeling that this would happen." Octavia nuzzled into Vinyl's neck. "What are you going to do on your trip?" "So much!" Octavia smiled as the joy returned to her marefriends voice. "It's a pilot program that sends us all across Equestria to experience different types of music." "That sounds amazing," Octavia whispered as a tinge of envy crept into her mind. "I'm really stoked for Germaney, though. I heard the underground club scene there is supposed to be unparalleled to anything found here in Canterlot. Hopefully, I can get an opportunity to sneak away since that is not one of the scheduled stops." Octavia tightened her grip as Vinyl continued about the different electronic music styles. Then a dark thought entered her head, causing her heart to stop. "What happens when you leave me?" Vinyl's eyes went wide. "What?" "What happens if you meet another stallion or mare better looking than me?" She blurted out as anxiety coursed through her veins. "What makes you think that?" Vinyl asked nervously, rubbing her back. Images of Vinyl with other ponies paraded through her mind; each instant of Vinyl smiling lovingly at another pony sent her heart further into the void. She quickly retreated, pulling her hindlegs up as she buried her face into them. She prayed, pleaded, and begged for her mind to stop, but they kept coming like waves crashing against the beach. Why was she thinking these thoughts? She trusted Vinyl more than any other pony. They had even discussed their past relationships; even though Vinyl significantly outnumbered hers, Octavia should be okay with it. Vinyl was her marefriend, but why was the pain there? Why now? Octavia felt Vinyl rubbing her shoulders. "Talk to me." "What if you meet somepony else?" She asked sadly, keeping her face buried in her legs. "What happens if you hit it off with them?" "That won't..." "What happens if they enjoy the same music and want to join clubs with you?" She cut herself off as her emotions took hold of her tongue. "What makes you want to stay with me?" "You're not making sense." Octavia looked up as tears stung her eyes. "What happens if you forget about me?" "Wha..." Vinyl stuttered as panic filled her eyes. "What makes you think that I would forget about you?" "Come on!" Octavia cried as she searched Vinyl's face for understanding. "We're the complete opposites; we enjoy entirely different styles of music, have different definitions of cleanliness, and have difficulty appreciating the things we love the most." Octavia could feel Vinyl's hoof drift from her back, causing tears to flood down her cheeks. "That's true," Vinyl admitted with a heavy sigh. "And I have been with other ponies that have more in common with me than you do." Octavia's body went numb as she rested her cheek on her knees, dumbfounded by Vinyl's statement. Was this Vinyl's attempt at making her feel better? Her mind went blank as she stared at the DJ's sorrowful eyes. "But those differences we have to make me want to be with you more," Vinyl said softly, returning a hoof to her back. "They didn't challenge me or make me see things from a different perspective as you do." Octavia slumped over to rest on Vinyl's chest as the cacophony of emotions took its toll. Closing her eyes, she Could feel Vinyl's hoof running through her mane as life gradually returned to her body. "Every day you challenge me to be a better version of myself, and even if I fail, you're there to pick me up to tell me to keep going." Vinyl wrapped her forelegs around her. "Just being with you has made me a better pony, so why would I give that up?" "I know," Octavia answered weakly. "These thoughts just came out of nowhere and won't stop!" Octavia looked up at her. "I hope you're not mad at me." "Why would I be mad at you for telling me what's scaring you?" Vinyl reached under Octavia's chin and lifted it. "It hurts to see you hurting like this, but trust me, I would never do that to you," Vinyl said sweetly as her eyes resonated with understanding. "You're my everything." "I trust you more than anything." Octavia nuzzled into Vinyl's neck as the DJ's scent calmed her heartache. "I'm sorry for being a terrible marefriend." Vinyl gave her a peck on the forehead. "We're going to get through this." "How can you be so sure?" Octavia asked as she wrapped her legs around the white mare, fearing to let go. "Because I..." Vinyl paused for a moment causing Octavia to lift her head. "Because I love you." "What?" Octavia whispered, wiping her eyes with a hoof. "I love you," she said quickly, fighting to hide the pain in her expression. Octavia was stunned as she gazed at her marefriend. "You hate sentimentality." "I know." "You said all the stupid little gifts that ponies give are a waste of bits." "I know." "Or how buying cards and flowers are a waste of time because you're letting your bits do the talking rather than you." "I know!" "And you never want to..." "I remember what I said! Sweet Celestia, I'm trying to have a moment!" Guilt began to stir in her head as Vinyl shifted her gaze as frustration crept into her expression. "This is why I hate doing..." Octavia pressed her lips into Vinyl's, silencing the rest of her thoughts. "Thank you," Octavia whispered before giving her another kiss. "You only get one, Tavi," Vinyl teased, touching her nose to Octavia's. "It was worth it," Octavia whispered, resting her head on Vinyl's chest. "We're going to get through this year like it's nothing." "I know," Octavia admitted sadly, savoring her marefriends embrace. "I just wish it was over already." Vinyl let out a chuckle as she released her. "Yeah, but where's the fun in that? Plus, think about how bad you will miss me and how great it will feel when we're back together." "True," Octavia softly said as the feeling of separation churned her stomach. Vinyl's vibrant maroon eyes locked with hers as a radiant smile spread across her lips. "You're the only pony... clank..." Octavia stirred as another loud clang came from the other room. Keeping her eyes closed, she prayed that whoever made that racket would cease. Another clang sent her eyes wide open. Rolling onto her back, Octavia felt the malaise take hold of her body. Why was she feeling like this? Vinyl had graced her dreams, so she should be happy. The more she thought about it, a feeling of loneliness clawed its way to her forethought as hopelessness followed suit. "No magic," she whispered as a sinking feeling in her heart became known. Octavia curled into a ball as the dreams and memories of Vinyl were the only things to give her comfort, but those would soon fade, just like the prospects of going home. Something hit her as she lay there replaying the last moments with her marefriend. You never told Vinyl that you loved her before leaving. The malaise flared up as she realized that the last thing they talked about was Pinkie Pie. Pinkie Pie, for Celestia's sake! It wasn't even about them, and Octavia didn't tell her bye; she just waved to her. Before she could dwell on that factor more, the sound of metal objects slamming together stifled the thought. Octavia groaned before turning to see the sun barely peeking through the blinds. "Who has the audacity to make such a commotion at this hour?" Flipping the covers off her caused the malaise to return as the cold air rushed to her skin. You're a terrible marefriend. Octavia swung her legs over the edge despite the protest from her body. You didn't even hug her when she took the time out of her day to walk with you. A jolt of pain shot up her leg as her feet hit the cold ground. Now you'll never get to see her again, and the last thing she will remember is you just waving goodbye. No embrace, no "I love you," just an empty wave. Octavia pressed her hands into her eyes. Octavia knew with all her heart that Vinyl knew she loved her even though she didn't tell her. It couldn't end like this. There had to be a way home. As Octavia sat on the edge of the bed, the grating sound of scraping metal broke her concentration. She stood up and hastily went to the door to give Jacen a piece of her mind. As she swung the door open with all the authority she could muster, Octavia spotted Jacen at the stove cooking something. Taking a few cautionary steps out of the bedroom, she noticed Jacen's shirt appeared damp. Octavia couldn't hear any rain patting against the window. "Jacen," she called out, taking a couple of steps forward. Jacen was unphased, bobbing his head as if listening to music, but the apartment was quiet. Getting closer, Octavia noticed small white circles protruding from his ear as he sang silently to himself. Hesitantly tapping him on the shoulder Octavia's lip curled as she wiped off the moisture from his shirt. Jacen whipped his head around as his eyes went wide for a second. "Hey, Octavia. Whoa, you look rough," Jacen stated bluntly, quickly removing the white objects from his ears. "I thought I was sleeping pretty well until I woke up," she replied groggily, reflexively running her claws through her mane. "Could have fooled me," he teased, returning to the pan momentarily before his eyes flashed open. "Was I being too loud?" "Yes," she answered, glaring at the pan in his hand. "My bad," he apologized. "I'm so used to no one being here that I forget how loud I can be in the morning." "Let's remind ourselves to be more cognizant of such things in the future then," she instructed, still annoyed about how she woke up. "Noted." Jacen turned back to the pan, scraping at the yellow contents with a spatula. As Jacen returned his attention to the pan, Octavia noticed something on the tip of one of his claws. "What happened there?" "Oh," he muttered, lifting the appendage in question. "I wasn't paying attention at the gym this morning, and I dropped a weight on my finger. Luckily all it did was pinch the skin enough to make it bleed." "Are you okay?" She asked reflexively rubbing her hands together. "I'm fine. I just need to pay more attention to what I'm doing," Jacen said, moving the bandaged finger. "Plus, breakfast is almost ready, so perfect timing." As Octavia lingered for a moment, a familiar smell caught her attention. "Eggs?" "Yup!" Jacen affirmed proudly, puffing out his chest. "This is by far my favorite meal of the day. I didn't know your take on eggs, so I decided to make you some." "Oh, I do," she said as the aromas wafted around her nose, causing it to water. "That's good," he said with relief, causing his shoulders to relax. "I also added spinach, mushrooms, cheese, red and green peppers. Hope you like your eggs scrambled." Octavia gave him a warm smile. "Scrambled is fine with me." "Perfect." Jacen turned a knob causing the flame to extinguish. "Why don't you take a seat? It's almost ready." Octavia nodded as she walked over to the table and sat down. As she adjusted, she noticed Jacen had already put out a fork and napkin for her. Octavia's lips curled into a smile at Jacen's efforts to be a better host. Before she could praise him, a plate entered her field of view. "Here you go." Jacen set the steaming pile of fluffy eggs in front of her before taking his seat across the table. Since she was not ravished by hunger Octavia took her time by placing the napkin on her lap and delicately taking the fork in her hand. She could feel Jacen's eyes studying her movements as if she was back at cotillion school. "Something the matter?" She asked sharply, causing Jacen's eyes to drift back to his plate. "Sorry, something just caught my attention." "What?" "It's the way that you hold your fork." Octavia's cheeks became flush. "Is there something wrong with the way I'm holding it?" "Oh no," he quickly said before taking a bite of his breakfast. "I find it fascinating how people from the UK hold their forks differently from those in America." Octavia glanced down at the utensils in her hand. "How so?" "If you look at your fork, the prongs are angled down, which allows you to stab at your food." Jacen swallowed his food before lifting his hand. "Then the way I hold it allows me to scoop the food," he pointed out, giving a quick demonstration. "Huh," Octavia muttered. "I just held it this way because it felt natural." Jacen took another bite of food. "It's just something I noticed in my travels." The rage-inducing smacking of Jacen's mouth caused her to grit her teeth. Didn't his parents teach him proper manners? Octavia looked up at him. "May I ask you a question?" "Sure." "Do Americans always talk with food in their mouths?" Octavia asked, calling out the disgusting behavior. Jacen hastily swallowed his food as his cheeks flushed. "No." Octavia straightened herself in her chair. "Then one should not do so, especially in the presence of a proper mare." Jacen's brow creased. "You mean lady?" "Yes, I misspoke." She shrank back slightly. "Nevertheless, you will use proper etiquette when we are eating." "Okay," he agreed hesitantly before taking another bite of food. "Good." Octavia took a bite of her eggs, causing her eyes to go wide. "These are delicious," she praised, placing her hand in front of her mouth. "Now look who's not using 'proper etiquette,'" Jacen teased as he narrowed his eyes. She rolled her eyes, swallowing the food. "You caught me, but they're surprisingly delectable. Dare I say, restaurant quality." Jacen sat straighter in his chair as a faint smile creased his lips. "Oh, it's nothing." Octavia took another healthier bite as the savory flavors burst into her mouth. "Such a brazen liar." "What do you mean?" "You said you weren't a cook, yet here I am eating a delightful breakfast." Taking another bite of food, noting how the salter ingredients paired nicely with the eggs giving it a more robust flavor. Jacen's smile broadened. "I cook them every day, so I have some practice." The pair ate in silence; Octavia couldn't remember the last time she had a home-cooked meal. Most of the time, they went out to eat, or when Vinyl was working through the night, she would pick something up on the way home. "So." Jacen cleared his throat, setting his fork on the plate. "Have you thought about going home?" Octavia's brow creased as her eyes narrowed at the statement. "I'm not trying to kick you out," he clarified, putting his hands up submissively. "I'm assuming that you're ready to go home." Octavia fell back into her chair as the malaise from earlier returned, not at all ready to have this conversation. "I am." "Awesome!" Jacen said a little too excitedly for Octavia's liking. "What do I need to do?" "Nothing," Octavia said defeatedly. She watched as Jacen's face scrunched up in confusion. "I'm not tracking." "There's nothing you can do," Octavia ground out, hinting that she didn't want to continue. "I can do plenty," He stated, still cheerfully pressing the issue. "First. Where do you live exactly?" Octavia winced as she looked at the dirty fork in her hand. "Don't you know where you live?" Octavia tossed her fork onto the dirty plate. "Yes, but it's complicated." "How is it complicated?" Jacen eyed her suspiciously. "Did you get kicked out of your house?" "No," she answered flatly. A war raged inside her mind between telling him the truth and keeping him in the dark. Jacen's stories of how violent people were lopped in her mind as the statue of the subjugation of ponies forever immortalized in her consciousness. Letting out a heavy sigh, she needed to protect Equestria and Vinyl from them, even if it meant her being trapped here forever. "Then what is it?" "It's complicated," she defended, folding her arms across her chest. Jacen placed his elbows on the table, rubbing his temples. "Couldn't you call your roommate? She probably knows you're missing or something." The thought of Vinyl sent daggers through her heart. "I have no way of reaching them." Jacen quickly dug through his pockets. "Here's my phone." Sliding the black mirror over to her, Octavia gave one look at it before sliding it back over to Jacen. "It won't work." "Why not?" He frustratedly asked, splaying his arms out in front of him. "For a number of reasons that I don't want to get into right now." Jacen retracted his arms off the table as he leaned back into the chair. "Don't you want to go home?" "Terribly!" She answered, her mind pleading with her to tell him everything. "More than you know." "Then let me help you." His concerned eyes fixed on hers. Octavia's eyes shifted to her empty plate. "I wish you could." "Let me try." "You can't." "Why not?" He asked as frustration and annoyance formed on his face. Octavia hung her head in defeat. "Because... it's complicated." "How?" He asked sharply, sitting on the edge of his chair. "Like, is it a passport thing? Not being able to afford a plane ticket, what is it?" Octavia averted her eyes from his. "It's not a question of cost." Jacen slammed his hand on the table, causing Octavia to jump. "Why're you being so difficult?" "Why're you being so aggressive?" Octavia bit back. He let out a frustrated sigh. "Because I'm trying to help, and it feels like you're just blowing me off." "But I'm not!" She defended, leaning forward in her chair. "Yes, you are!" He pointed an accusatory finger in her direction. "You're giving me vague answers or saying, 'it's complicated to everything else." "Because it is!" She countered, rising to the edge of her seat. Jacen stood up abruptly, collecting his dishes from the table. "Fine, you do you!" "Where are you going?" She asked sharply. Jacen didn't answer as he collected her dishes and placed them in the sink. "Jacen!" "I'm going to take a shower, Jesus," he bit back, refusing to look at her. Octavia leaned back into her chair, folding her arms across her chest and turning her head away. "Fine!" He glanced at her causing his shoulders to sag. "I'm just trying to help you, Octavia." Octavia felt her anger deflate as Jacen turned and headed for the bathroom. The tinge of pain from his statement made it hard for her to remain mad at him. He tried to help her, but she couldn't risk telling him anything. Hearing the water running, Octavia leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. She tried to imagine what she would do if the roles were reversed. The total made her heart sink as Octavia tallied all the information provided to him compared to what he offered her. Based on that, Octavia knew that she would have asked the individual to leave her house because she didn't know anything about them. However, Jacen still let her stay even though he knew nothing about her. As the shower stopped, Octavia sat up in her chair. She needed to tell him something so he could understand the predicament that she was in without revealing too much about where she came from. Ideas raced through her head on what to say and what not to say. There had to be something safely innocuous. "Jacen." "Yes," he said a little too sharply for Octavia's liking. Swallowing the urge to snap at him, she let out a calming breath. "Can we talk for a second?" "Okay," he replied, tossing his dirty clothes into a bin just inside his bedroom. "And done." Octavia scrunched her face up. "What?" "You said, 'can we talk for a second?' A second has passed, so I was just letting you know." Octavia clamped down on her tongue, folding her arms across her chest. Why was he such a foal? "Real mature, Jacen." "Coming from the girl who can't be upfront with me about what's going on," he bit back, giving her a side-eye. "I'm trying," she forced out through gritted teeth. "But one of us lacks the development to handle a mature conversation and resorts to petty behaviors to make up for their inadequacies." "You shouldn't talk about yourself like that," he countered with a sly grin. Octavia wanted to scream at him, call him every vulgar name in the book, but a small voice in her head told her it wouldn't help. Instead, she elected to bury her face in her hands as the damn that contained her emotions threatened to break. "Well? Are you going to tell me what's up with you or not?" "Why?" Octavia asked angrily. "You won't believe me even if I told you." "Try me," he replied, goading her. "Fine!" She said forcefully, lifting her head as her eyes bore into his arrogant skull. "Would you believe me if I said that I don't even look like this where I'm from?" Octavia saw the brief surprise in his eyes before returning to his smugness. Octavia motioned to her body. "I don't even look remotely like this where I live. That's why I had such difficulty walking when you found me because I don't walk on legs like these!" The conviction in her voice started to break him down as she watched Jacen replay the events in his head. "Exactly," she continued, pressing her assault. "And I guarantee you that your feeble mind couldn't even process that I didn't travel here by conventional means." Octavia watched Jacen's expression go neutral as he tried to comprehend the information thrown at him. Octavia hesitated for a moment at Jacen's reaction or lack of one. She anticipated him outright refuting or challenging at least one of her statements. Was he actually believing her? She had to find out. "I came here through a portal! Not by air, land, or sea, but a stupid portal!" Octavia's breaths were labored as the tension from holding that secret in started to ease. Jacen's expression became unreadable, but she didn't care; it was the truth. Leaning back into the chair, Octavia relished Jacen's befuddlement as the words started catching up to him. "Told you that you wouldn't believe me," she stated, unable to hide her smugness. Octavia watched as Jacen repeatedly opened and closed his mouth as words failed to leave. Jacen looked down at his feet. "You're right; I don't believe you." Octavia felt her ego start to deflate at the sight of Jacen. What was her end goal? Yes, she finally told Jacen the truth, but now he doesn't believe her. She didn't have anypony outside of Jacen to help her, and she broke him to have a petty victory. "Jacen I..." "It's fine," he cut her off, shrinking under his stern gaze. "But if I get a hint that you're trying to manipulate me or con me, I am kicking you out!" Octavia placed her hand on her heart. "I promise I would never do that." But a question lingered in her mind. "Do you believe me?" Jacen flipped on the water as he returned to cleaning the dishes. "I believe that you believe what you told me is true." "That's not an answer." "It will have to do," he said dryly. "Because what you told me makes no rational sense." "But it's true," she defended. "Truce!" Octavia jumped at the statement. "Truce?" "Yes, truce," he said with a heavy sigh. "All we've been doing since we met is piss each other off and, to be blunt. It's getting us nowhere." Octavia closed her mouth as she recalled how on edge they had been with each other since day one. "True, my apologies, Jacen." "And for what it's worth, I'm sorry too, Octavia," he said softly, turning towards her. "Let's just try to get along for a little bit, okay?" "That does sound prefearble to our current impasse." "That's good enough for now, but make no mistake; I'm not fully committed to what you're telling me." Octavia nodded. "Very well. Truce." Hopefully, it'd give her time to figure out something to satisfy his curiosity. Jacen clapped his hands together and took a deep breath through his nose before forcing an excited smile. "So, would you be interested in going outside?" "I'm not a dog, Jacen," she teased, causing him to let out a soft chuckle. "I know," he replied, trying to mute his laugh. "Would you care to explore downtown with me since it's a pleasant day outside? Or would you rather stay inside and risk more heated banter?" Octavia couldn't help but giggle at Jacen's attempt to sound like a proper Canterlotian. "The first option sounds more appealing, but don't you have work?" "Nah." Jacen shook his head. "It's the weekend, and I'm not on duty, so I'm free." "That's good." "Yup, so I'm all yours." Jacen's eyes went wide with realization as his cheeks burned red. "Not in that way! Y-you know what I mean." Octavia couldn't help but laugh at Jacen's discomfort. It reminded her of how she used to catch Vinyl wearing her sweaters around the apartment. The Dj would rush out of the room to change, thoroughly embarrassed. After much convincing, Octavia learned that Vinyl enjoyed wearing sweaters because they made her feel cozy and warm. Plus, Octavia's sent was a bonus to her marefriend. "Anyways," he said loudly. "I washed your clothes last night, if that's okay." "What's wrong with this?" She asked, flaring her arms out, allowing the shirt to appear as if she had wings for arms. "I'm pretty sure you want to wear something that actually fits," he said with a chortle. "True." "I folded them and placed them on the counter for you in the bathroom." Octavia stood up and headed to the bathroom giving him an appreciative nod as she passed him. Closing the door, Octavia took a long breath through her nose as she tried to calm her frayed nerves. Since she arrived, Jacen and her have been bickering like a married couple the entire time. Even when Octavia moved into the dorms with Vinyl, they didn't have this amount of heated arguments, even with some of Vinyl's more grating idiosyncrasies. Octavia knew she needed to break this cycle or the threat of being kicked out of the apartment was a real possibility. Removing Jacen's borrowed clothes, Octavia started considering what she could do to stop their constant bickering. However, the more she scrutinized their conversations, she noticed something. Jacen appeared to be on edge with how quickly the tension in the discussion would escalate, along with the heavy sighs and pacing. Still, there was a fine line between concern and being nosy, and she didn't want to cross it. After adding what felt like layer after layer, she was finally done. Octavia let out a calming breath by doing a final once-over to ensure everything was on like it was yesterday. "What do I do with these?" She asked, holding the massive t-shirt out like a dress. Jacen walked over to Octavia, taking the clothes out of her hand. "I'll take care of them." "You know what?" Jacen asked, tossing the clothes in the bin. "What?" "Your outfit looks like you heard what a kawaii girl looks like but missed a few details," he teased, motioning to her outfit. "Kah-why-yee?" "Umm," Jacen stammered as his cheeks turned red. "Not important, but we might need to find you some more clothes. Maybe, we can do that while we're out." As Jacen made his way to the front door, images of the statue flashed in her mind. A chill shot down her spine as the experiences of that night froze her in place. Jacen putting on one of his shoes, caught sight of her causing a crease in his brow. "You okay?" Octavia swallowed down the fear pooling in the back of her throat, forcing herself to nod. Jacen stood up as his eyes filled with worry. "It's okay if you don't want to go shopping with me." He rubbed his arm, looking at a spot on the floor. "It might have been a little too forward." "It was an honest request," she eased as she thought about the time she had to get fitted for a dress from Rarity, and the mare went on and on about the wonders of shopping. "And if I'm being honest too, I probably need the distraction." Jacen nodded as he put on his other shoe. "Let me know if you change your mind or want to do something else." "Will do." Octavia clasped her hands together, trying to focus on something positive for a change. "This should be exciting." Jacen looked like he was caught off guard. "Why?" "Because I never had my own personal fashionista pick out my clothes for me," she teased, giving him a wink. "Oh god." He hung his head in defeat. "I should have never told you that." Octavia giggled at Jacen's sight, even though it didn't change the situation; laughing felt good. Flipping her mane, she walked towards the front door. "Too late." Octavia slid her feet into the shoes fumbling for a second with the straps. Luckily she was used to buckles from fastening her saddlebags. With some frustration, her clumsy fingers finished the task, straightening out her skirt as she stood up before Jacen opened the door and exited. Anxiety crept down Octavia's spine as she drew closer to the elevator. Her breathing hastened as images of her arrival flashed through her mind. Loneliness and hopelessness clenched tight around her stomach, giving her second thoughts about exploring the familiarly alien world. The chime of the elevator's arrival sank into her heart like a death knell as the doors slowly opened. They stepped inside, and Jacen selected the ground floor, sealing them within. Octavia's hands began slickening with their descent. Each flash of the floor number felt like another level closer to Tartarus. "Are you feeling okay?" Jacen asked with worry. Octavia clasped both her arms across her stomach, shrinking into a corner. "I should be fine." "We don't have to do this if you don't want to." Octavia sucked in a breath, steeling her nerves. "I'll be fine." As the elevator came to a halt and the doors opened, Octavia latched onto Jacen's arm, surprising them both. Her mind protested fervently to this unwanted closeness, but her body remained steadfast. Jacen looked down at her catching Octavia's attention. She half expected to see Jacen with a victorious smile or smugness, but she only saw clear understanding in his eyes. "Don't get any ideas," she said evenly. Jacen said nothing before walking out of the elevator. Octavia hurriedly followed and positioned herself as if he was a shield. She was relieved Jacen didn't ask her questions about what she was doing. He just walked like nothing was wrong, eyes focused on what was ahead. Octavia closed her eyes as trepidation started to fray her nerves as her mind flipped every which way. Bile formed in her throat as they steadily walked closer to her end. She shielded her eyes from the blazing sun pouring in through the windows as they neared the front door. Octavia prayed for a merciful end as Jacen opened the door. Taking a tepid step through the breach, Octavia shut her eyes as the intense light enveloped her vision. "Probably should've warned you that the sun smacks you right in the face at this hour," Jacen joked, continuing to guide her forward. "Probably," Octavia bit back, feeling the heat from the sun. "Here," Jacen said as they changed course in an unknown direction. "This should help." After a few blind moments, she felt the cooling breeze touch her cheeks, drawing her eyes open. "The shade will help your eyes adjust." Blinking several times, Octavia peered past him to see a towering building blocking the sun. "A little forwarning would have gone a long way." "Yeah, wasn't really considering that until we stepped outside," he admitted rubbing the back of his head. Octavia surveyed the area as her grip on his arm relaxed. Her first night here was something cultivated out of Nightmare Moon's mind, but the light painted a different picture. What lay before her was vaguely familiar that she couldn't quite put a hoof on. "See, nothing to worry about," he soothed, leading her around the curved path back into the sun. "It's completely different during the day." "True," she admitted feeling the tension in her stomach easing after two days of hiding in Jacen's apartment. "The fresh air is nice." "I thought so," he said, taking a deep breath and slowly releasing it. "Sure beats Texas." Octavia released her hold on his arm as the fears began to wane. "Why?" Jacen glanced over his shoulder. "Texas is stupid hot this time of the year. We would be sweating profusely the minute we left the building." Octavia thought back to her walk to Twilight's castle. "I'm glad we're not there, then." "Yeah," he replied as his shoulders started to sag. "I do miss it, though." "Texas?" Octavia clarified. "Yup." "Why do you live here?" "Because I have too." Jacen shifted his gaze to the ground as his pace slowed. "I hate it here." "Why?" "Because..." he trailed off, sucking in his teeth. "I have a lot of bad experiences here." Octavia glanced up at him with quizzical eyes. "Like what?" "It's... complicated," he answered, keeping his eyes locked forward as a sly grin formed. Octavia let out an annoyed sigh as a split in the pavement caught her foot, causing her to stumble. Jacen roared with laughter as Octavia's cheeks burned with embarrassment. "Haha, very funny." Jacen replied with a toothy smile as she elbowed him in the side, eliciting a slight chuckle. "Someone woke up this morning and chose violence." Octavia became flustered as Jacen darted ahead a couple of paces. "Just kidding," he said through fits of laughter. "I thought this was going to be a pleasant venture," Octavia countered, holding her head high as she walked past him. "Alas, you have led me astray once again." "I have not!" Jacen defended as he tried to gain her attention. "I'm just messing with you, Octavia." Octavia caught a glimpse of his worried face suppressing a smile. "Then one should have thought of such things before they indulge in childish mockery." "I'm..." "I'm just joking," she cut him off, breaking from her proper mare persona. "Someone can't take a joke." Jacen stopped in his tracks as his mouth hung open. Octavia couldn't help but giggle at how lost he looked as she left him standing there. "You're the worst," he called out before catching up to her. Octavia flashed him a winning smile as they continued their walk. Octavia noticed something she couldn't put a hoof on as they ventured downtown earlier. Jacen kept glancing at her as she tried to place where she had seen this before. "What are you looking at?" "This reminds me of one of the cities I traveled to for a performance," she stated as they made their way towards the pathway alongside the channel. "Where was that?" Then it hit her. It was Octavia's first tour with the Royal Orchestra, and their first stop was a city whose staple structural features used exposed bricks with flourishes and accent pieces adorning the tops of its buildings. "Baltimare." Jacen glanced at Octavia as a crease formed in his brow. "Baltimore?" Octavia stopped for a second. "There's a Baltimare here?" "There's no Baltimare, but there's a Baltimore," Jacen clarified. "It's up in Maryland. I've been there with the Navy." "What were you doing there?" She asked, still pondering how similar the city names were. "We were there for the War of 1812 celebration. Basically, a lot of partying with other navies from around the world." "What other navies?" She probed. "Yeah, there were navies from Germany..." Germaney "...France...," Prance "...Canada, and Ecuador. It was a lot of fun just meeting other sailors from different countries." Octavia couldn't fathom how similar the names were to places she had been. Questions began to rattle in her head as she wondered if the buildings looked similar. Did the people speak the same dialect as their pony counterparts? "Is there a city that sounds like Manehatten?" "Yeah, Manhatten, which is in New York. "How about Saddle Arabia?" "Yes, Saudi Arabia." Octavia was perplexed at how these places had counterparts here in this world, even if their names varied slightly. "Canterlot?" "I haven't heard of a place similar sounding to that." Then Jacen narrowed his eyes. "What?" Octavia asked, not understanding why he was looking at her like that. "Every place you listed had something to do with horses. Why is that?" "Because that's what they're called," she defended. "What's wrong with it?" "Nothing," he replied, placing his finger on his chin. "Why do those places sound." Jacen's eyes went wide with horror before abruptly turning around. "Forget I asked anything." "What." Octavia was shocked by the sudden change in demeanor. He looked like he was hiding something. "Jacen, is there something you know?" "Nope," he said hastily, walking away from her. "Just drop it." Octavia quickly caught up, trying to get him to look at her. "Is there something you're not telling me?" Jacen kept his eyes straight, refusing to look at her. "Leave it alone. Forget I said anything." "Why?" She asked in disbelief. "If you know something, please tell me. It could help get me home!" Jacen abruptly stopped as trepidation filled his eyes. "I can't..." "Jacen!" Octavia's voice trailed as somepony beat her to shouting his name. She watched as something changed in his eyes at the sound of his name. It was something that she had never seen right before his expression went blank. She wanted to ask him what was wrong, but something deep inside her told her no. "Yo, Jacen!" "Someone's calling for you," Octavia said, tapping him on the shoulder as she searched for the source. Jacen closed his eyes as a stoic expression formed. "I know." Octavia was off guard by how Jacen appeared swiftly changed to one of a guard at the Canterlot palace. Before she could ask him what was wrong, another person roughly the same size as Jacen wrapped his arm around him. The other person had a tanner complexion but was enthusiastic about seeing Jacen. "What are you up to, bro?" The stranger asked, patting Jacen on the chest. "Just getting out," Jacen replied flatly, not making eye contact. "Ahhh." The man clicked his tongue before turning towards Octavia. "And who's this lovely lady with you?" Jacen shifted as he positioned himself slightly between her and the new person. "This is Octavia." The stranger pushed Jacen off as he came around Jacen, extending a hand. "Nice to meet you; I'm Murr." Octavia held back for a second studying this Murr. She noted that, unlike Jacen, he had a super short black mane, but his clothes were similar style to Jacen's. She cautiously reached out, grasping his hand. "The pleasure is mine, Mister Murr." "Wow," Murr exclaimed, as his eyes gave her a once over before turning towards Jacen. "I didn't know that you had it in you, Jacen." "What didn't Jacen have?" Octavia interjected before Jacen could reply. "The ability to land a beautiful woman like yourself." "Oh!" Octavia placed a hand on her chest as the comment caught her off guard. "We're not together, we're just friends." "Really?" Murr replied as a glint appeared in his eye before flashing a charismatic smile. "What do you want, Murr?" Jacen said sharply. "Just wondering why weren't you at the divisional outing this morning?" Jacen's brow furrowed. "What are you talking about?" Murr pulled out his phone, waving it in front of Jacen. "The event that was in the group text for today. Didn't you get it?" Jacen's head lowered as his shoulders sagged. "No." "Oh well," Murr replied, flashing a charismatic smile at Octavia. "Feel free to join us; we're just hanging out by the river. We're planning on grilling out." "Is everyone there?" Jacen asked tepidly. "Yup!" Jacen hung his head in defeat before looking back up at Murr. "I think we'll pass this time." Octavia watched as Jacen's started to lock up; something was wrong. "Okay," he replied. "Oh, and Jacen. Chief wanted to tell you that you start deck prez on Monday and will work on the O three level." "Fun," Jacen replied unenthusiastically. "Is anyone else with me?" "Chief has us going somewhere else to work on the system." "All of you?" Jacen asked in shock. "So I'll be up there by myself then?" "Looks like it," Murr replied, flashing another smile at Octavia before leaving. "It was a pleasure meeting you, Octavia." "Likewise," Octavia called out. "Murr seems..." Octavia stopped as Jacen walked away with his hands buried in his pockets. "Hey, what's wrong?" Jacen said nothing. "Did I do something wrong?" She worriedly asked, breaking into a jog to catch up to him. Jacen shook his head. "Jacen, could you slow down, please?" Jacen slowed his pace but said nothing. "What's wrong? Why did you not want to go with them?" "Because I don't want to," he said bitterly, his eyes locked forward. "Why not?" She asked, noticing Jacen starting to walk faster. "Murr seemed nice." "He's not," Jacen ground out, increasing his pace. "What do you mean?" Octavia stumbled again as Jacen pressed forward, glancing to see if she was okay. "Jacen, could you stop, please." Jacen stopped as he looked down at Octavia with malice. Octavia took a step back. "What's wrong?" "It's nothing," he said sharply, turning his head upwards. "Jacen, I know that's not true." "What do you want me to say," he blurted out as pain flashed to life in his eyes. "Do you want me to tell you why I wasn't invited to this little group outing?" "Yes." Jacen walked in a circle as he pressed his fingers into his eyes. "They don't like me." "Murr seemed..." "No, they don't like me," he cut her off. "Murr's the worst offender. He only came over to us only because of you." "Why me?" Octavia's brow furrowed. "Ugh, don't be so naive, Octavia," he said sharply. "You're stupid pretty, and that's all Murr does is chat up cute girls and brags about it in the shop." "Oh," Octavia muttered as her stomach began to turn as memories of charismatic stallions who only pursued her for the notch in their saddle surfaced. "Oh, is right," he said bitterly. "You probably don't even know what it's like to not be liked." "I do," Octavia answered, rubbing her arm as her eyes drifted to the ground. "How?" He asked in disbelief. "You're beautiful." "It's not always about looks, Jacen!" She shot back, balling her hands up. "My time in school was rough, contrary to whatever you have going on in your head." Jacen said nothing. "I hated school because my parents sent me to one of those prestigious private schools." Octavia narrowed her eyes, pointing an accusatory finger in his direction. "Don't even think everything was hoofed to me on a silver platter." Jacen threw his hands up defensively. "I'm not." "Good," she replied, lowering her finger. "My family is what they call 'new money,' so my parents thought it would be a great idea to send me to the most prestigious schools offered to elevate their social status. Little did they realize that ponies that went to that school were even worse than their parents. They would openly mock me, belittle my family, and even throw trash at me..." Octavia froze as the words left her mouth. She shouldn't have said that, but it was too late. The information was out there, swirling around in Jacen's brain as he looked at her with apologetic eyes. A little voice told her to run to protect her home, to protect Vinyl, but she stood fast. Octavia let out a sigh; she needed to face the music. "Could you take me to the statue where you found me."