John and Derek continued to stare at each other, while I stood nearby with a dumbfounded look on my face; the revelation that the two of them were related had knocked me for six.
"I just... I can't... how do..." I shook my head to clear out the cobwebs that had gathered. "You're brothers?!"
John nodded. "Unfortunately, yes," he replied. "We used to be close, but Derek didn't approve when I said that I was joining MI6. Our parents were really happy for me, but—"
"Of course they were fucking happy," Derek interrupted. "Their darling little boy had done them proud once more."
John sighed. "Whereas you had just let them down for the millionth time after being caught shoplifting again," he retorted.
"The only time they cared was when I did something wrong."
"Then maybe, you should have done some good in your miserable life," John snarled. "Instead of settling on petty crime."
"Fuck you," Derek snapped. "Fucking goody two-shoes."
"Enough!" I shouted, at which both siblings looked at me. After a while, Derek folded his arms and grinned.
"I suppose you're wondering how, and why, I'm here?" he said.
"I am, yes," I replied. "Because the last time I saw you, you were being hauled off to jail after nearly killing me."
"Not jail," Derek said. "I was sent to a supposedly secure mental health unit, but I was able to steal some poor saps security card and uniform." He laughed. "I used them to walk straight out the front door without anyone giving me a second glance.
"That seems highly clichéd, but whatever." I shrugged. "Now how in the hell did you end up back here of all places?"
"I was on an industrial estate when I came across an old warehouse," Derek explained. "It looked to be a good place to crash for the night, so I went inside. Imagine my surprise when I find a fucking portal in the downstairs room!"
John and I looked at each other. "Ace..." we muttered in unison.
"Is that who built it?" the faintest trace of a smile appeared on Derek's face. "Must remember and thank them at some point. Anyway, I relished the thought of hiding in a whole new universe; when I realised it was this shithole again, I decided to go back."
"Let me guess," I said. "You were just about to do that, when all of a sudden the army turned up and fortified the portal?"
Derek nodded. "I honestly thought they were looking for me, so I hid," he said. "I was going to waited until they were gone, but then I saw them dragging your worthless carcass in."
"I had a bag over my head," I said. "How did you know it was me?"
"You didn't have it on for very long, though," Derek replied. "Once they took it off, I suddenly had a good reason to stay."
"Well then, thanks for the story," I said. "So what are you going to do then? Are you going to try and kill me again?" Derek nodded, and I laughed. "Okay then, but at least I'll go out knowing why you're so angry." He looked at me blankly; I took advantage of his confusion to continue talking. "I can tell from the way you and John were speaking to each other earlier that you blame your parents for everything that's gone wrong in your life, yet you simply can't accept the fact that they're not the ones to blame." I pointed at him. "Everything that's gone wrong in your life is down to you."
As the last word left my lips, Derek's face turned red. "I've told you already that you're not my fucking therapist!" he shouted.
"No, I'm not," I replied. "I'm simply a better person than you."
Derek stomped over to a tree and snapped a branch off it; the splintered end looked extremely sharp. He gripped his makeshift spear in both hands and started advancing on me.
But then, John stood in front of me. "Derek, don't!" he said. "Geo's wrong; our parents are at fault. You did everything you could to please them, yet they threw it back at you so they could dote on me instead. I stood in the way of your progress." He pointed at me. "Geo is nothing." He continued. "I took everything you could have ever had from you and rubbed my success in your face. If anyone is more deserving of your anger, it's me."
Derek seemed to agree with this, and lunged at his brother with the spear. John dodged the blow, grabbed the weapon with both hands, then headbutted Derek and wrestled the spear from him, throwing it onto the ground a few feet away from me.
I watched in silent horror as Derek flailed around wildly, swinging his fists while roaring like a trapped animal. John dodged or blocked most of his blows, his MI6 training clearly giving him the advantage, then retaliated by launching a flurry of blows into Derek's chest. The blows were enough to send Derek reeling, but then John made a mistake — he hesitated.
Derek seized his moment and wrapped his arms around John's waist, sending them both crashing to the ground. John put up his arms to protect his face, which allowed Derek to begin pummelling at his chest; when John put his arms over his chest instead, Derek punched him repeatedly in the face.
I stood motionless, paralysed with fear over what might happen. I saw the spear lying on the ground and picked it up. And then, summoning all of my courage, I swung it over my shoulder and brought it down with all the might I could muster.
The weapon connected with the top of Derek's head with a sickening crack, which was enough to make him cease his attack on John. With a roar of pain, he leapt to his feet and charged me.
Instinctively, I swung the spear around again, this time hitting him in the side of the head. There was another dull crack, and he dropped to his knees. He tried grabbing the weapon from me using both hands; the strength I had built up during my time working at the club failed in the face of his primal fury, and he succeeded.
Immediately and without even thinking, I kicked him in the face as hard as I could. Blood, spittle and teeth flew from his jaw as he fell face first onto the ground, unmoving. The spear clattered to the ground, and the clearing was deathly quiet.
Panting furiously, I went over to John. "Fuck me, that was scary." I was still shaking slightly. "Are you okay, mate?"
John coughed, a thin trail of blood escaping from his mouth. "I'm fine," he said, wiping the blood away. "To be honest, I think we should be more worried about Derek."
"I'm sorry, for hitting him like that," I said. "I just... acted."
"He was trying to kill me," John replied. "You did what you had to do in order to save my arse." He looked me in the eyes. "I swear, I had no idea it was him who nearly killed you. I'm so sorry."
"Don't worry about it. I helped him to his feet. "It's over now."
Just then, Shining Armour entered the clearing with a squad of guards. "Fluttershy called us about a lot of screaming," he said, the urgency in his voice apparent. "What in Tartarus happened?"
"Ask him," I said, pointing at Derek. "He tried to kill us."
"I see," Shining replied. He motioned to his guards and they picked Derek up. "Come on, John, you need to get yourself checked out."
John nodded and prepared to follow Shining; before he could go, I put a hand on his shoulder. "Thank you, John," I said. "Thank you for choosing me over your own brother."
"Derek is no family of mine, not now." John smiled. "I've got all the family I want right here." He took a step forward before stopping and turning to face me. "But at least this proves something."
"What?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.
"It proves that our friendship is real," he replied. "I wouldn't take a beating like that for just anyone, you know."
My eyes misted over. "Our friendship was always real, I said.
John smiled and we set off after Shining Armour, with Derek still slumped over the backs of two guards.
Looking at John in that moment, I felt proud to call him my friend.
Revenge is human, but friendship is eternal.
And I wouldn't have it any other way.