New Noses To Know

by Irrespective

Bonus! Nightmare Night!

Prince Blueblood liked to think he was a stallion who was used to surprises. Having spent nearly a year living and working among Yaks meant there was never a dull moment, but even with all of that, the sight before him was one that he had never expected to see.

For as far back as he could remember, Princess Celestia did not participate in Nightmare Night. There were few ponies who realized how personally injurious the holiday was to his aunt, and even fewer who had seen the depths of her sorrow and despair when she was confronted with the annual reminder of her sister’s betrayal. Every time the dreadful date came, Celestia would order a large, two-tier cake—usually strawberry; occasionally vanilla; sometimes both—dismiss all the staff with an encouragement to enjoy the evening, and then retreat to her personal chambers to hide away and drown her sorrows in sugar. He, himself, had inadvertently wandered too close to her chambers once when he was younger, and the haunting sounds of her exquisite, anguished sobs would forever haunt his memories.

After Luna’s return and redemption, Celestia still avoided Nightmare Night like it was the plague. Most of Blueblood’s acquaintances, himself included, were of the opinion that Celestia was never going to overcome the pain, and if anypony had suggested that the fair Princess of the Day willingly participate in the festivities, they would have been declared insane and sent away for treatment. 

Yet here he stood, in the middle of the grand ballroom, surrounded by all the trim and trappings that came with Nightmare Night. Jack o’ lanterns with devious smiles were scattered about the hall, several large spiderwebs hung from chandeliers and doorways, ponies from all across Canterlot were enjoying each other’s costumes and the ‘spooky’ music, and the large buffet tables were stuffed with any sort of sweet that one could imagine.

“Pony Blueblood! What is going on?” Horwitz appeared at Blueblood’s left, looking perplexed. “Why are ponies dressed in costumes?”

“It’s a holiday we have in Equestria called Nightmare Night,” Blueblood explained. “Ponies of all ages will collect candy and treats from each other, and then offer a portion of those to Nightmare Moon.”

“Why do ponies give up candy?”

“It’s believed if Nightmare Moon gorges herself on candy, she won’t gobble up ponies.” Blueblood smiled and rolled his eyes. “Of course, that’s the greatly simplified explanation.”

“But Yak thought Princess Luna was Nightmare Moon. Has pony princess gone bad again?”

“No, Princess Luna has not returned to her evil ways. In all honesty, the holiday is all traditions and superstitions now, but Princess Luna enjoys playing along and will appear to be Nightmare Moon for the night. I’m told she will return to participate in the celebration after making her annual visit to Ponyville.”

“Pony Blueblood sounds surprised.” Horwitz noted. 

“To a degree. Nightmare Moon was defeated and banished by Princess Celestia, so I’m surprised that she’s not only a participant in the party, but that she was the one who organized it, as well. I suppose her husband is to blame for that.” He let out a light laugh. “Would you care to join in, Ambassador? I can explain more about the history of Nightmare Night, and there are some impressive prizes to be won at the various games. This will also give you a chance to sample pony cuisine, which I think you’ll find to be quite exceptional.”

The burly yak squinted slightly as he studied the various games and events in the hall. A smile slowly appeared, and the Ambassador pointed to a table. “Are those candied apples?”

“I believe they are, yes.”

“Yaks love candied apples. Stick gives it nice crunch. Yak want to learn more about crazy Nightmare-worshiping party.”  

Blueblood nodded and grinned. “Right this way.”

“Ponies have strange customs,” Horwitz remarked, with little bits of candied apple flying from his lips as he spoke. “Pony Princess tries to keep moon in sky forever, older sister stops her. Ponies then think that evil Nightmare Moon will escape and gobble them, unless Nightmare gets candy. Ponies dress up in costumes to keep Nightmare from finding them, even though candy is supposed to keep Nightmare away.” The yak took a moment to stuff the rest of his apple in his mouth. “Then ponies are safe for another year. Nightmare Night is very confusing. Not enough smashing.” 

“Don’t think too much about it. Simply enjoy the party,” Blueblood advised. 

Horwitz shook his head and snorted in amusement. “Yak enjoys free candy. Will send some back to Yona.”

“Take as much as you like. Just be sure to leave some for Nightmare Moon!”

Horwitz grunted. “Nightmare pony doesn’t scare yak. Where is she? Yak will prove Nightmare is not scary! Yak will take fear and smash it!”

“Her absence is a bit peculiar. Perhaps she is outside. Right this way, please.”

“Yak never have nightmares,” Horwitz boasted as the two of them stepped out into the crisp evening air. “Yak too brave! Nightmares scared of yak. Yak no need Princess to look over dreams.”

“It’s very fortunate that you do not,” Blueblood said with a slight eye roll. 

“Of course. Yaks best at everything! Pony Blueblood knows this from living with Yaks. Yaks will show ponies how to be brave, so ponies won’t have scary nightmares anymore.”

“That is quite generous of you, Ambassador.”

“And then, when Yaks and Ponies are friends, Yaks will…” Horwitz trailed off.

“Is something the matter?”

Horwitz didn’t reply for a moment. He was too busy trying to figure out where they were, and where the thick fog had come from. “Where did Pony Blueblood take Yak?”

“These are the royal gardens, Ambassador.” Blueblood gave the yak a confused look. “There’s nothing out of place, as far as I can see.”

“Pony Blueblood is trying to scare yak,” Horwitz announced with a hardy laugh. 

“I am? I’m doing a rather poor job of it, then. Come, Ambassador. Nightmare Moon should be around here somewhere.”

“Whatever Pony Blueblood is planning, it won’t work.” Horwitz glanced around, and he surreptitiously swallowed his growing nervousness. 

“I assure you, I have no plans. If you’d like, we can return to the party, however.”

“Ha! Take yak to see Nightmare!” Horwitz roared, hoping that his volume would cover his trepidation. “Yak is brave! Yak is strong! Yak won’t let smoke and mirrors be scary!”

“Very well. Oh!” Blueblood pointed to a figure emerging from the mist, silhouetted by a dull orange light that was fighting against the pale from within a kerosene lantern. “Perhaps this pony can help us. The evening crew is always pleased to assist. Excuse me, sir? Sir!”

“Is Pony Blueblood sure about this?” 

The two of them approached the figure. He still wasn’t scared, but the cloaked figure didn’t look very friendly. 

His suspicions were confirmed when the figure turned to face them, and the fearless yak retreated a step. The figure was pony shaped, but he was also dressed in a thick black coat, a wide-brimmed hat, and boots that were splattered and stained with some sort of red substance. His face—if this thing had a face—was concealed by a grim mask that extended out like the beak of a crow and had thick green glass over his eyes.

“Good evening, sir.” Blueblood greeted the pony-like spook against Horwitz’s unspoken objections. “Terribly sorry to bother you, but we are in need of some assistance.”

The masked pony tilted his head slightly, and when he spoke, his voice was thin and raspy, like hooves being scraped slowly across a chalkboard. “What are you doing here? How did you get here?”

“Here?” Blueblood repeated. “We simply walked out here, of course.”

“Come.” The oddly dressed pony picked up the lantern and held it up, as if trying to get a better view of the noble and the yak before him. “You are not safe here. These woods hold much danger.”

Horwitz glanced around at the large, imposing trees that hadn’t been there a moment ago, and he gasped. “What trick is this?! Pony Blueblood said we were in gardens, not forest!”  

“I don’t understand.” Blueblood’s words were full of concern as he took in the sight as well. “How did we get…”

“No time,” the masked apparition cut him off. “We must move.”

“Yak no like!” Horwitz tried to stay within the light as they began to walk down a poorly marked path. “Yak will smash if something tries to scare yak!”

“You’re welcome to try,” the mysterious pony replied. “There have been many who have tried to tame these wilds, but none have succeeded. The woods…” he paused and glanced over his shoulder. “Let’s say that the inhabitants of this cursed and blighted place answer only to one master, and that She Who Rules the Night does not take kindly to trespassers.”

“What of you, then?” Blueblood challenged. “You seem to be a little too familiar with this place, despite the supposed dangers that await.”

Their guide snorted. “So you may suppose. True, I have spent many moons in study and exploration of this foul abomination, in the vain and foolish hope that I might gain notoriety and wealth for my efforts. The Night has since taught me better, and I am no longer the fool that I once was.”

“So, you are a researcher?”

“A doctor, in a life so far removed from this one that I view it now as a pleasant dream. Such cold comforts are of little use or value to me now.”

Twigs snapping drew their attention to the left, and the doctor swung his lantern in an apparent attempt to catch their visitor. A deep depression pressed in on the trio, as if the woods themselves were trying to consume them.

“Come,” the Doctor finally said. 

Horwitz stayed right beside Blueblood as the duo tried to keep an eye on the encroaching darkness surrounding them. The groaning of branches and the rustle of dead leaves did little for yak nerves, and as they pressed deeper in, he was sure he could hear some malevolent whisper on the breeze.

“Where are we?” Blueblood asked once more. “If I can get my bearings, I might be able to teleport us out of here.”

“I wouldn’t do that,” the doctor warned. “The Everfree does not take kindly to such acts.”

“The Everfree Forest?” Blueblood hesitated, his head whipping at the sight of what looked like a pair of glowing eyes. “How did we get all the way out here, and so quickly?”

A high-pitched and decidedly maniacal laugh cut through the air, ensuring that his question would remain unanswered. The masked guide seemed to take no heed of the sound, but he did crane his neck around to face the others.

“That is not important. Come. We have bigger problems to overcome.”

“Where are you taking us?” Blueblood inquired.

“There is but one safe place in the Everfree, sir.”

“The Castle of the Two Sisters?” Blueblood glanced at Horwitz. “But… that is where Nightmare Moon lives!”

“Allegedly. It is also the only shelter for miles. If we can remain undetected, we might be able to send you both back to Canterlot, where you belong.” 

“Yak see nothing to be scared of.” Horwitz hoped his outright lie would give his courage a much-needed lift. “The woods are just trees. Trees just wood.”

“If such thoughts provide you with comfort.” The Doctor glanced to the left. “But I’d keep my distance, if I were you. The oaks tend to nibble.”

The trio moved forward without saying a word, but not in silence. The Everfree was filled with far too many dark shadows, creaking groans, and distant screeches from who-knew-what for Horwitz, and his shaggy fur nearly stood on end. With each snap, crack, and pop, he half-expected something sharp to leap out at him, and his trepidation built with each step. Yaks were unequivocally the best at smashing, but he couldn’t smash what he couldn’t see or touch. 

What unnerved him the most, however, was his emotionless guide. The black figure pressed on seemingly without a care for the welfare of himself or his followers, twisting and turning through the tangle of trees with a frightening degree of familiarity. How could he be so sure that he wasn’t being led to some sort of trap?

The yak had little choice in the matter. He dutifully followed along, his ears twitching madly as he tried to pick out any dangerous sounds. Beyond the ominous ambience, that is.

“Pony Blueblood!” he hissed quietly. “Is Nightmare Moon at Castle? Yak not want his backside to be gobbled.”

“Doubtful. At the least, it is Nightmare Night, so she should be scouring Equestria for costume-less ponies. Once we get there, I will be able to gain my bearings and return us to the safety of Canterlot.”

The doctor scoffed, but pressed on. Horwitz wasn’t sure how long they walked for, but it was far too long for his liking, especially when there were unseen things pulling his tail and taking swipes at his sides and rear when he wasn’t looking. After what seemed like several long hours, Blueblood stopped, glanced around, and frowned.

“This isn’t the way to the Castle.”

“Oh?” The doctor turned, contempt tainting his words. “Do you know the way?”

“No, but you’re leading us deeper into the forest. We should be heading in the opposite direction.”

“Is Pony Blueblood sure?” Horwitz cut in.

“I’m sure of it. Wayfinding is my special talent.” Blueblood motioned to his cutie mark, then began to walk away.

“Stay within the light, if you value your life.”

“I don’t know what your game is, but I’m not playing it anymore. If we head over to that ridge, we should be able to seeEEEEK!”

Before Horwitz’s terrified eyes, Blueblood was yanked into the darkness by an unseen monster, who cackled with wicked delight. The scream he wanted to let out got stuck in his throat, coming out as a whimper over the wet, crunching cracks from the forest.

“Would you care to follow him?” the doctor asked. Horwitz shook his head. “Good. Come.”

“Yak no like. Ponies should smash Everfree Forest and Castle, so Nightmare Moon leaves. Get Celestia to banish her again.”

“Nightmare Moon is not so easily dealt with. I am all too familiar with her methods and resolve. She can only be placated with flesh. Let us hope that Blueblood makes for a fitting meal.” 

“Candy!” Horwitz brightened with the memory. “Pony Blueblood say Nightmare Moon eat candy, not Yak!”

“I have none to offer her. Do you?”

“Um… no. Yak ate candy.”

“A pity. But our fortunes seem to be improving.” The doctor gestured towards a distant hill. “The Castle of the Two Sisters lies just over there.”

“Nightmare Moon lives there?” Horwitz evaluated the crumbling ruins, and more importantly, all of their nightmarish hiding places. 

“Come.”

Horwitz obeyed, and the two moved towards a rickety rope bridge that spanned a deep, foreboding chasm. Fog obscured the bottom, but the tips of several sharp rocks could be seen. Horwitz was not eager to find out what else might be down there.

“Wait.” The doctor held out a hoof, his head tilting upwards. “Stay close.”

“What? Why pony stop?”

“Shadowbolts. Get down!”

Horwitz dropped, but not before he felt something grasp at his horns. The doctor swung the lantern at their assailant, but to his horror, Horwitz caught sight of at least three figures in the wildly shifting light. With a laughter that sent chills to Horwitz’s bones, the Shadowbolts pressed their attack, each time being driven back at the last possible moment by the doctor’s actions. 

“Return to your master, you vile fiends!” The doctor pulled out a fine powder from somewhere within his coat, threw it in the lantern, and then smashed it on the ground. A bright flash drove the Shadowbolts back with a high-pitched screech that pierced Horwitz’s eardrums, and the terrified ambassador was quick to make a break for the rope bridge and the castle. 

“Yak no like! Yak no like!” He thundered across the bridge with all the speed he could muster, refusing to stop until he was past the rotten wooden doors that marked the entrance to the old ruins.

“Pony?” Horwitz tentatively called out.

“Oh, I wouldn’t worry about him.” A voice as dark as midnight gracefully slunk into the room. “You should really be more concerned with your own well-being at the moment.”

“Who’s there?” Horwitz demanded in his bravest voice. “Show yourself! Yak will smash!”

Thick swirls of pitch-black tendrils flowed into the room, snaking around the Yak and sweeping over his hooves until they held him fast, despite his best efforts to break free. A thick fog filled the area, making the approaching metallic hoof falls so ominous that Horwitz began to whimper again.

“Come now, Ambassador. I had heard that Yaks were not afraid of anything. Or have you not been entirely honest this evening?” 

“Yak not scared. Yak is… concerned. For Pony Blueblood.”

“Ah yes. The diplomat. His backside was far too gamey. Yours, on the other hoof, looks quite exquisite.”

“NO! No gobble up Yak backside! Yak is not pony!”

“True, but ponies have gotten rather stale over the last thousand years. Perhaps it is time I add some variety into my yearly feasts.”

Horwitz’s eyes went wide in alarm. A pitch black alicorn phased in from the distant shadows, her glowing draconic eyes glowing with wicked glee. Her silver armor softly clinked as she strode over toward the trapped yak. Her ethereal mane twisted and writhed, as if it held all the souls of her previous victims within it. Sharp, cruel fangs flashed in the moonlight, and an equally sharp tongue danced around the edge of her lips. 

“Nightmare Moon!” 

“The one and only. You’re very clever to have found my hiding place. Unfortunately, you won’t live to tell the tale.”

“Yak led here by other ponies! Yak not want to trespass!”

Nightmare Moon recoiled and snarled. “That infernal doctor again?! Hmm. I suppose I should thank him. He did lead you to me, after all.”

“What?”

“Enough about him. I shall deal with him in my own due time. Right now, I do believe it is time for me to gobble up some Yak backside!”

“BACK, YOU MONSTER!”

Horwitz gasped in joy as the doctor appeared out of nowhere, his kerosine lantern now affixed to the end of a long staff. He drove towards Nightmare Moon, stabbing and slashing with the meager light as she hissed and retreated. 

“You will pay for this, pony!” she roared. “I will not be denied!” 

“Horwitz! Run! I will hold her here!” The doctor swung again. His lantern connected with Nightmare Moon’s cheek, and she went sprawling into an unseen corner with an unearthly screech.

The yak needed no further invitation to flee. He smashed through what remained of the castle’s main doors and thundered across the rope bridge, heedless to the boards that were breaking under his hooves. He had no idea which way to run, but ‘away’ was better than nothing at all.

“Better hurry, my Yakkish delicacy!” Nightmare Moon’s voice lashed out from the treetops and scraped against his sides. “Your little friend can’t protect you out here!”  

“Yak no like! Yak no like! YAK NO LIKE!”

Horwitz squeezed his eyes shut tight as he smashed through trees, rocks, and whatever else happened to be in his way. 

“Faster! Faster!” Her haunting voice chilled his soul with an eternal dread. “I’m catching up to you!”

“NO! Yak no like! Yak sorry for making fun of Nightmare Moon!” Horwitz’s hoof hit a root, and he fell end over end until slamming to a stop against a large boulder. He pulled himself into a tight ball as the clanking of Nightmare Moon’s armor drew closer, and he shivered with fear from horns to tail. “Yak scared of Nightmare Moon!”

There was a sudden rush of energy, and then… nothing. No eerie wind, no needles of fear, no footsteps of impending doom.

For several long moments, the terrified ambassador did not move. But eventually, he dared to take a peek, just to see how long he had left before his backside was to be gobbled up.

“Gotcha.”

Horwitz glanced around. Nightmare Moon still stood before him, but her dark rage was gone, replaced with a playful, mischievous mirth that was palpable. She stood before him not in the Everfree, but on a balcony in Canterlot. Blueblood stood to her left, and the doctor was on her right.

“What is this?” he asked slowly.

“I hope we didn’t scare you too badly.” The doctor removed his hat and mask, revealing Prince Bean underneath. “You’re safe, Ambassador.”

“Not in Everfree?”

“No. You never were. That was all an illusion,” Nightmare Moon said. 

“Provided by myself,” Blueblood proudly added.

The reality of the situation was slow to dawn on the yak, but the pieces were fitting together. “Nightmare Moon not evil?”

“No. I am still Princess Luna. I only look like Nightmare Moon.”

“Not-a-Bean helped? HA!” Horwitz roared with laughter as he leapt to his hooves. “YAK LIKE! Yak never been so scared! Ponies know how to be frightening very well!”

The ponies laughed, with some relief. “I’m glad you enjoyed it! It took quite a bit of planning to get it just right,” Blueblood said.

“Yak is glad Nightmare Moon will not gobble up yak backside!” He pulled her into a tight hug, and the three of them walked back inside. “How did Princess make illusion? Yak want to take scary to Yakyakistan. Scare Rutherford and all Yak friends!”

“Perhaps after the party, Ambassador.”

“Yes! Yak want to get lots of candy, so Nightmare Moon will not gobble Yak! Pony Blueblood, come show Yak how to get lots of candy!”

“I think we’ve created a monster,” Bean quipped as Horwitz disappeared into the palace with a cackling laugh.