//------------------------------// // ~ 09 ~ Throwing Rocks in a Hard Place (Nonchalant) // Story: The Enchanted Computer: A RariTwi Exquisite Corpse // by SigmasonicX //------------------------------// Once again seeing the parts of the maze that looked like a castle (for it was more and more obviously a castle, decorated with ornate statues and tapestries of Princesses Celestia and Luna, for some reason) was a welcome return to comprehensibility for the group. “–know it was a little disorienting, but getting to experience eight-dimensional fractal geometry on that scale was absolutely fascinating!” Twilight gushed. Again. Rarity suppressed a sigh that had long since lost most of its affection for the mare beside her. Most of it. “Twilight, I understand that you enjoyed seeing our tenuous grasp on the stability of the universe slip away from us, but you’re really making me regret those theoretical mathematics books I picked up for you,” she ground out. The rest of their friends nodded and mumbled their agreement, some in better shape than others. On their journey towards the heart of the maze, they’d come across some sets of stairs that folded into each other, seemingly forever, until they’d eventually found Applejack and Fluttershy sitting against a wall, eyes closed, singing classic Ponyville folk songs. The only explanation they’d offered was Applejack shrugging and saying “honestly, Rarity, we’ve been through so much weird stuff with you trying to free the Princesses, at this point the world lookin’ so funny it makes our eyes hurt barely registers.” She wasn’t offended. Really, she wasn’t. Not by her friends, anyways. She had a Spirit of Chaos to vent on. Once they found him. Eventually. “So, uhh, where are we going, anyways?” Lightning Dust asked. Everyone stopped momentarily, looking at her with confusion. In near-unison, they pointed down the hallway. Lightning rolled her eyes. “Right. Chaos magic. You’ve said so before.” “You’ve been dealing with it a lot better than most ponies,” Pinkie offered. “Only a little bit of screaming at the inverse-spiders!” Everyone shuddered. Rarity cleared her throat. “Avoiding further discussion of many-bodied insect legs, I do think we’re getting to the center of the maze,” she said. “I think it opens up just past this next bend.” Spike stretched out his neck, peering around the corner. “Actually, I think she’s right! There’s some sort of big courtyard with a bunch of low walls up ahead!” There was excited muttering at the news, and Rarity’s self-proclaimed stunt double spoke up. “Lightning, Fiddlesticks, come with me?” Ink said. They both nodded and stood next to the changeling, who immediately started poking around the worn, crumbly walls of the castle. In short order, Ink shuffled over to Marble Pie, who nodded and started prodding the wall with her hoof. “Incantation, dearest, what are you trying to do? Tunnel to DIscord?” Rarity asked, frowning. Ink hummed. “No, just setting up some insurance while you Princesses and chosen Element Bearers over there go yell at the big bad.” She smiled in a decidedly un-Rarity-like way when Marble timidly walked back over, depositing a large chunk of stone in her waiting hoof. “Don’t mind me.” Twilight shook her head, pressing up against Rarity. “It’s okay,” she said. “Won’t even need it.” She pulled the Elements of Harmony out of her bag and floated Rarity’s to her neck. “We actually have all the Bearers now, so we can easily put a stop to Discord and whatever he did to the Everfree to make it…” she gestured around with a wing. “This.” In short order, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and finally Twilight Sparkle all donned their Elements. Their glow seemed to almost be pushing the chaos back on its own, the walls gaining a slightly woodier texture and the ground softening under hoof and claw. With that, they all looked around. It was time. Rarity took a step forward. “Shall we get on with it, then?” The six Bearers, Spike, and Princess Cadance stepped into the courtyard, and into nighttime. The low walls were overgrown with vines now, and some of the pillars had fallen over. In the middle of it all, Discord lounged in midair. A few ground-rattling snores later, there was the sound of a bubble popping and he unfurled himself to stand on the stone floor. “Oh, Princesses, you’ve finally come to talk things out, I imagine?” He waved a claw. Everyone flinched. “And of course, you’ve brought your entourage. Tell me, how did everyone like what I’ve done with the place?” Rainbow Dash pushed herself forward. “Ha, joke’s on you, Discord!” she called. “Twilight was basically the only one who paid attention.” Discord looked thoughtful for a moment. “Ah. I suppose I didn’t take my audience into account. You’re right. This is still the Everfree Forest. Or, rather, a possible version of it. I don’t just pull my ideas and pranks from thin air, you know.” There was a sharp crack as he suddenly stood on a mountaintop, winds howling and the simulated altitude causing everyone’s ears to pop. “No, I do curate these things.” A languid snap of claws dismissed the mountain to the size of a museum diorama behind the draconequus. “Though I do find that my brand of magic is excellent for stressing a point.” The ground rippled, and for just seconds at a time they stood in a library, then a throne room. “But you all already knew that,” he said, lip curling in disdain. “You just don’t care.” Rarity scoffed. “It’s one thing to be angry, Discord, but it’s a completely different one to be so petty as to lose all sense of tact.” “Is that what you think I’ve been doing?” Discord drawled. “If anything, it’s you who have lost all sense of perspective.” Perhaps someone should have interrupted the monologuing Spirit of Chaos as he continued to illustrate his points by casually altering the fabric of reality. Perhaps they could have, with a little more time to prepare themselves. Instead, he continued. “In fact, Princess Twilight, I’m surprised you don’t understand where I’m coming from!” he chided. “You spent an awfully long time on your own as well, tending to your books. Was it not enough?” Rarity growled, sparking her horn menacingly. “You’ll stop talking now, Discord. You’ve put everyone here through more than enough.” The Spirit turned to face her. A snap of his claw had his eye looming over Rarity, examining her through a massive magnifying glass carved from the sky. “Is the little fragile one volunteering for some perspective of her own?” He reached into her mind and pulled the nightmare towards reality. Her boutique, dusty, forgotten, moth-eaten cloth piled high against the windows as a sewing machine sputtered weakly on for centuries. Hooves eternally young, but translucent and weightless. Rarity couldn’t tell if the first pained scream came from her or Twilight, but the second definitely came from Discord. “What sort of insolent little–” Discord rubbed the back of his head, removing a smooth, rounded chunk of stone from his mane. “Do you teach all your little friends to ignore the rules of a proper dramatic confrontation, or are they like that when you find them?” He shook his head at Rarity, collapsing the wall that hid Marble, Incantation, Lightning Dust and Fiddlesticks with a huff. Lightning, winding up with a second rock, immediately stepped in front of her marefriend. Rainbow Dash and Spike both yelled out in warning, but Discord merely chuckled. “Please, I’m busy with you all right now. I’ll deal with them…” The four ponies vanished. “...later.” Princess Cadance flared her wings, drawing on centuries of experience projecting authority. “It isn’t too late, Discord. We’ve said it before, but if you swear to leave and never return, we won’t use the Elements and subject you to their judgement.” “We have said it before, dear… Denza, was it, these days?” Discord agreed, setting up a lawn chair and slithering down into it. “But as I also said, I get lonely. Would your dragon assistant care to keep me company?” Twilight’s Element pulsed coldly. “He’s off-limits,” she snapped. “You’re not separating us again.” Pinkie Pie nodded importantly. “And you’ve been so mean to the rest of our friends that none of us would go with you even if you wanted us!” The draconequus let out a long-suffering sigh. “Well, we have to sort this out somehow, we’ve been talking in circles for so long that my beard’s gone gray.” “That’s where you’re in luck,” Rarity crowed. “We have a solution.” “Oh yes, the Elements of Harmony. Again. I’m sooooooo scared right now,” Discord deadpanned. “Please, it’s not like we’d curse you for eternity or anything,” Rarity said. “But, and I’ll never get tired of saying this, my marefriend is smart.” “The princess who ruled over a pile of books? Of course she is. Such a scholar.” Rarity pressed herself against Twilight affectionately. “And she has excellent taste in friends! She gathered proper bearers for all the Elements without even trying!” “That’s… what?” “You’re right about one thing, Discord,” Twilight growled, letting the insistent glow of her Element spread from its core. “This ends now.”