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// Emo Filly 
// Story: Second Childhoods 
// by Proud Lutheran 
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The peace and quiet of Ponyville was disturbed by the dramatic scream of a little filly.  This was no ordinary filly scream, but one so raw and whiny that is surpassed Rarity on the drama scale.  The scream was also rather uncanny, as though it had been tuned or filtered through a mask to sound deep.  Needless to say, many ponies decided that their day was not about to be ruined by a whiny filly and ran in the opposite direction of where the sound came from.  A few more brave souls approached with caution as the screams continued.
“WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BODY?  WHAT HAPPENED TO MY VOICE?  WHERE’S MY LIGHTSABER?  AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGHHH!”
The filly in question was sitting in an alley, pounding her little hooves against a wall.  She was a violet earth pony, wearing a black mask that vaguely resembled a duck’s bill.  Her hair was hidden by the mask, but her tail was black.
Applejack, who had been running her nearby apple stand in the market, stood in the alley.  “What the hay’s goin’ on here?” she demanded.  “How come you’re makin’ all this racket?”
The filly turned to face the mare, shaking with childish rage.  “Who are you?  What are you?  Did you do this to me?”  She gestured to herself.
“Do what?  You’re the one carryin’ on and hollerin’ like a newborn foal!”
“Newborn?  I am Kylo Ren!  I’m the descendent of Darth Vader, the most powerful Sith Lord the galaxy has ever seen!”
Applejack blinked.  Everything she had just heard made no sense at all.  Foals could be boastful, but this was ridiculous.  And who would name their child Kylo Ren?  Or Darth, for that matter?  “Right, and Ah’m the princess of apples.”
The filly, Kylo, growled and pointed her hoof at Applejack.  The mare was confused by this, as nothing seemed to happed.  The filly lowered her hoof and looked down at it.  “I can’t feel it,” she said, a hint of fear creeping into her mask-filtered voice.
“Ya ain’t makin’ any sense,” said Applejack.
“Be quiet!” snapped Kylo.  “I didn’t ask your opinion!”
The farm mare moved closer.  “Don’t you talk like that ta me, little missy!  Ah oughta teach ya some manners!”
“You can’t give me orders, you-!  Missy?”  The filly quickly turned around and looked down.  Her breathing increased.
“Now what are ya doin’?” asked Applejack.
Kylo threw her head back.  “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-!”
Applejack cut her off, whacking her upside the head with the hat.  “Quit it!  Ah swear, Ah’ve had it with yer little hissy fit!  Ah’m taking you to yer parents and tellin’ ‘em exactly what you did!”  She didn’t know where Kylo’s parents were, but she suspected that her cries would bring them to her.  If not, then she would simply bring Kylo to city hall, where they would undoubtedly have records of a new family moving in.  They could contact the filly’s parents from there.
Kylo lashed out and struck Applejack, but the blow was barely even a tickle to the stout mare.  She grabbed the filly’s bill-shaped helmet and pulled it off, revealing light red eyes and a face that would’ve been cute were it not for the rotten attitude.
“You can’t do this to me!” Kylo protested.  “I’m not some child!”
“Coulda fooled me,” Applejack retorted, grabbing Kylo by the ear and pulling her out of the alley.
“Ow!  Stop it!  I hate you!  I HATE YOU!  I’LL MAKE YOU BEG FOR MERCY!  I’LL BREAK EVERY BONE IN YOUR BODY!  I’LL KILL YOU WITH MY BARE HANDS!”
Applejack rolled her eyes, though she was inwardly unsettled by a child making death threats.  Adult ponies rarely, if ever, talked about death in polite company.  Threats of that nature were a good way to tell somepony that they were well and truly loathed.  Kylo was likely ignorant of the meaning of those phrases.  Applejack would have to make sure the filly’s parents knew about her filthy mouth.