Considering everything that happened at the Fall Formal, it might seem like I’d gotten off pretty easy. Somehow, I wasn’t expelled from school, no one reported me to the cops, and I wasn’t even pushed back through the portal before it closed like I expected to be.
That didn’t mean I was off the hook, though. My schedule became heavily regimented, and while it wasn’t an explicit part of my punishment, I had to maintain it in order to pay my restitution. On one hand, I could appreciate the consistency it brought to my life, but after a while, consistency gave way to repetition. The days and nights were slowly folding into one, and I resented that. If it meant I could have agency over my life again, I probably would have relapsed into my old ways by now. Unfortunately, I knew that would only make things worse, so I had to endure.
Even if my sentence made me miserable, I couldn’t deny the plea bargain I’d been given was rather gracious.
First off, I had to help repair the damage dealt to both the front yard and the entrance of the school. Mercifully, as someone with the body of a human teenage girl and no prior construction experience, the ways I could help were very limited. The work I was made to do was physically stressful, and it wasn’t long before there was nothing left I could reasonably help with. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the end of it; that just meant my recompense would be financial instead of physical.
Principal Celestia and Vice Principal Luna could have easily paid for it themselves, I bet, but I was at their mercy. They would only allow me to stick around if I made up for everything I’d done. Otherwise, they’d expel me, and I’d have to start all over at some other school. And while a fresh start sounded moderately appealing, it was also a terrifying prospect. The devil I knew was better than the one I didn’t.
As long as I stayed out of trouble, maintained good grades, and kept my job, everything would be square once I paid everything off. Since I didn’t have the money to pay for it all at once, I had to pay them back bi-weekly. This meant I was essentially paying a second rent. My apartment was relatively cheap, which meant I used to have a modest amount of money left over after rent. But all that disposable income vanished once my wages were garnished.
Working in a mall food court wasn’t exactly glamorous. I hated the job, most of my coworkers, and especially my boss, but the hours were flexible. The work itself was either strenuous or understimulating with little in-between, but I could take it easy when my boss wasn’t around. I wasn’t getting paid nearly enough for all the work I did, but I could put up with it. It was enough to make ends meet, and that’s all I could care about.
Well, it used to be enough.
After the formal, I had to work a minimum of thirty hours just to cover rent and the money I owed—almost twice the hours I was working before. And the most frustrating part was that I couldn’t just be given those hours. When I (mostly) explained to my boss why I needed to work more, he was reluctant to give them to me at first. In his words, I had to "prove myself" first.
This meant I had to bust my ass at work—as if I wasn’t already doing that. It wasn’t like I couldn’t handle the additional responsibility, but what irritated me was my boss’s dismissive attitude to my appeal. I thought that since I was (technically) a minor struggling to get by, he’d be willing to help me out without much question. But this is my life we’re talking about; seldom are things ever that easy.
Instead, he and I had a long talk in his office. While he droned on about “hardship builds character” and other trite nonsense, I nodded along and pretended to care. However, in my mind, I was fantasizing about walking out on him in the middle of our talk and keying his car before I left for good. From that day forward, I promised myself that’s what I’d do the second I had the chance to quit this job. That may seem antithetical to the whole “trying to be better” thing, but it's what he deserved.
My resolve to do so was emboldened during the weeks before I received those extra hours. It was thoroughly exhausting. Maintaining good grades while actually putting forth effort at work was almost too much for me. None of my classes were that hard aside from certain sciences and history, but it’s difficult to put forth the effort when your job takes up so much of your energy. The chronic lack of sleep combined with the fact that I was so poor that school lunch was my most substantial meal most days didn't help either. Fortunately, it didn’t take me long to make my way into his good graces and acquire the extra hours I needed.
But things didn’t really get any better after that. The financial burden wasn’t as hefty, but it did nothing to lighten my load. It just meant the weight I carried was redistributed. I may have gained financial stability, but I lost the few remaining ounces of free time I still had. If I wasn’t at school, I was at work. The little time I had at home I spent studying, sleeping, or trying very hard to avoid the latter.
Weekends had become a foreign concept to me. Since I could only work half-shifts during the weekdays, my longest shifts were always on Saturday and Sunday. For a good while, life was a seemingly endless and arduous grind.
That said, it wasn’t all bad. My coworkers, for as little as I liked most of them, were tolerable to work with. I tried my best to act cordial around most of them, but that was mostly for my own benefit. Truthfully, it was another front I put up to take advantage of them as I had done with so many others. For instance, on the rare occasion I needed someone to cover my shift, I could usually count on someone to do it for me.
And there were even a few I’d convinced to do more illicit favors for me—sometimes not even for my own benefit, but just to have ammunition in case they tried to cross me later on. I tried not to do that anymore, though, especially now that I was trying to be better about things like that.
Having such a tight schedule also meant I was always busy, and while the lack of free time left me with little energy and lots of resentment, it meant I spent less time alone with my thoughts, and that held some value.
And every day brought me closer to the day I would have the control over my life I so desperately wanted back. When the final bell rang at school, whenever my shifts would end, and when I would lie down at the end of the night, I reminded myself of that. There would come a day when things would be better. Life was rough then, but it wouldn’t always be that way.
Sometimes, reminding myself of that would do nothing for me. However, on this particular Wednesday, it was very effective.
On the surface, there was hardly anything significantly different about the day. All my classes were the same as they always were, I still received all the same glares from the other students through the halls, and most of my time at lunch was spent in silence while my friends chatted amongst themselves. The slog was the same as it had been for months.
There was just one key difference: Rainbow Dash wasn’t there. She hadn’t been to school since the week prior. Over the weekend, she had come down with some kind of respiratory illness and missed school every day since. Those three days were so relieving. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t take a little pleasure in the fact that she was ill, but that wasn’t why I was happy. The positive impact her absence had on my mental health was certainly noticeable to me.
Usually, on Wednesdays, I felt overcome with dread when school ended. While most of the hours I worked each day varied from week to week, Wednesdays were the only consistent fixture on my schedule. School releasing for the day meant there were only two hours between me and my least favorite kind of shift: closing.
Dash not being at school was enough to help me avoid dwelling on that. It was a radiant beam of light piercing through the dark cloud that typically hung over my head at that time. Perhaps I should have felt worse—we were supposed to be friends, after all. But just a week ago she’d confirmed we weren’t really friends, and that was enough to absolve me of any guilt.
A deep exhale left my lips as I strolled down the empty school hallway. After the final bell, I’d usually sit in my last class for a little while and wait for the halls to clear up. It was the only time at school besides lunch I had the chance to walk through the halls without rushing.
The hallway was bereft of any other students by the time I made my exit. So it was strange when I heard someone running behind me as I walked to the back exit of the school. At first I thought it was just another student who left class late. Figuring they’d go out of their way to avoid me like anyone else would, I kept making my way out, paying it no mind. However, as the footsteps grew louder, my attention was drawn back to them.
“Sunset!" A familiar voice cried out. "W-Wait up!”
As my head whipped around, my eyes went wide as I realized who the voice had come from.
Fluttershy was sprinting toward me like she was being chased. I could hear her panting heavily as she closed the gap between us. She must not have realized I stopped, because even after I turned to face her, she didn’t make any effort to slow down. Bracing myself, I held my hands out in front of me to catch her, grabbing her a split second before impact.
The momentum her lithe body carried was enough to make me falter briefly, but not nearly enough to cause me to lose balance. With my hands on her shoulders, Fluttershy looked dazed as she continued gasping for breath. I wasn’t sure where her last class was, but it must have been a decent distance for her to be that exhausted. It didn't help that she was dressed up in all her winter gear.
“Hi,” I greeted with a smirk. I was trying to play it cool, but I was immensely confused.
In what I assume was an attempt to regain her composure, Fluttershy shook her head. Doing so seemed to break her out of her daze, but only momentarily. When everything began to sink in, her eyes went wide. She became stiff, a fearful look spread across her flushed face. Not a sound came from her as she stood there, an arm’s length away from me.
"You know, if you’re gonna try to tackle someone, you shouldn’t give them so much warning," I joked.
My hands relaxed and my arms fell steadily to my sides. Fluttershy was still frozen.
“Also, maybe try someone who doesn’t weigh twice as much as you.”
Still no movement, just a terrified squeak in response.
“That’s a joke, by the way.”
Slowly but surely, Fluttershy began to decompress, but she still seemed a little too overwhelmed to say anything.
“Is… everything okay?" I questioned. If I had to guess, she probably panicked when she realized I had grabbed her. While I used to bully her, I never did anything to her physically, but I still couldn’t blame her for being terrified when she realized the position she was in.
Fluttershy blinked a couple of times before finally breaking her stunned silence. “Gosh, I-I’m so sorry, I–”
She stopped as I raised my open palm. “Just. Tell me what’s up.”
It took a few moments for Fluttershy to regain whatever her version of composure looked like. She shifted around uncomfortably where she stood, breathing still labored. Her eyes carefully avoided me as they wandered around the hall.
“I… Uhm, I have a really big favor to ask." I could barely hear her as her head tilted toward the floor. When I didn’t answer right away, she looked back up. "Is that okay?”
My lips tightened, but I still tried to hold my smile. If she needed to ask for a favor, why didn’t she just ask instead of wasting my time saying something useless like that? Instead of narrowing my eyes like I wanted to, I raised an eyebrow. I thought an intrigued expression would prompt her to continue, but she just sat there, as if verbal confirmation was the only acceptable answer.
And if that was the case, that was too bad for her. Instead, I raised my hand and motioned for her to go on.
“W-Well, uhm…” she stammered, another pause following.
I inhaled through my nose like I was about to sigh, but stopped myself before I could. Everything about this interaction had been grating so far, and it was getting hard not to show it. I needed her to be my friend. I needed us to be friends. The fastest way to do that was with patience and understanding, even if those were two things I was always in short supply of.
“Dashie was supposed to take me to the animal shelter after school today, but since she’s sick, I don’t have a ride.”
I raised both my eyebrows and blinked. “…And you want me to give you a ride?”
She nodded. “I’m sorry. I know it’s really short notice, and I-I hope it isn't too much trouble, but I don’t really have any other options.”
Realistically, it wouldn’t be any trouble. There was still a fair amount of time between then and when I had to work. Even if the shelter was across town, I’d still have more than enough time to drop her off and get home to prepare for my shift. But that didn’t mean I wanted to do it. Even if I had the time, that would cut into my invaluable “sit on my bed and stare at the wall before it’s time to go to work” time.
But this would also be a golden opportunity to be a good friend to her. A chance to show her that I’m just as—if not more—dependable than all our other friends. And even if that wasn’t necessarily true, all I needed was for her to believe that.
As the thought of our friends crossed my mind, I felt confused. Out of everyone she could have asked, why me? Applejack and Rarity both drove themselves to school, and she was closer to both of them. Why hadn't she just hitched a ride with one of them? She’d undoubtedly feel more comfortable with either of them as opposed to riding on the back of my bike in the frigid, late winter temperatures.
Which led me to an equally perplexing question. Did she know what riding with me would entail? There was no way I could imagine someone like Fluttershy riding on the back of my bike. When I thought about it, I envisioned her arms crushing my rib cage, her voice shrieking in my ear any time the speedometer pointed to a number above a single digit. Also, I only had one helmet.
My brain scrambled to figure out the best response. It would reflect poorly on me to say no, but how would it reflect on me if I said yes only to give her the most terrifying ride of her life?
Giving her a straight answer in either direction had the potential to backfire. I had to find a way to say yes while also giving her the impression I cared more about her comfort than I truly did. That's what a good friend is supposed to do, right?
"Wouldn't you rather ask someone like Rarity or Applejack?" I asked. "Not that I'm saying no, but you do know I ride a motorcycle, right? I don’t know if you’ve ever been on one, but it’d be a rough ride, especially when it’s as cold out as it is."
Fluttershy looked more nervous as she shook her head. “I've never been on one before, no, but I don't think it'll be that bad."
Her tone implied she was as confident about that as I was.
"And besides, I already tried to find both of them after class, and I think they’ve already gone home.” As her eyes began to shift around the hall again, she shrank into herself. “Plus, I-I think I already missed my bus trying to find them, too.”
Of course she would have gone to them first. I would never be her first choice for something like that. That made me feel like an idiot.
“You could just call them, you know.”
“I can’t do that. What if they’re still driving?”
It was hard to say that wasn’t a fair point, but it didn’t stop me from wanting to glare at her as if she was making up excuses. Either way, I couldn’t leave her stranded at school, especially after she’d asked me for a ride. With that in mind, I gave her my best reassuring grin.
I let out a defeated sigh. “Well, I can’t guarantee the ride will be any fun, but sure, I’ll take you there.”
She smiled ear to ear. “Oh, thank you so much!” she exclaimed.
I couldn’t help but cock my head back. Her enthusiastic reaction took me by surprise. Once she realized how taken aback I was, she receded into herself, hiding behind her hair. She was acting like such a little dork, and for once, I didn’t mean that in a derogatory way.
I motioned for her to follow as I made my way down the hall. Right before we got to the doors, I noticed I could barely hear her footsteps behind me. I turned around to see if I’d walked too far ahead of her, but she was right behind me still. Her eyes were fixed on her phone as her thumbs tapped the screen.
"Here," she said as she looked up at me, “I pulled up a map to the animal shelter in case you needed it.”
She held the phone up to my face as we walked out of the doors. Immediately, I recognized the location. The shelter was across the street from a gas station I used to go to frequently, so with just one glance at her screen, I knew exactly how to get there. Thankfully, I’d still have a little time to dissociate at home before work.
Soon, we were both standing before my bike in the back parking lot. I unlocked one of the saddlebags and pulled out a pair of sunglasses and my helmet.
"Put this on." I gestured for her to take the helmet from my hands as I slipped the sunglasses onto my face.
Once the helmet was in her hands, she started rotating it, inspecting it as if she’d never seen one before. I had to suppress a giggle. It made me wonder if she thought I booby-trapped it or something. Once she finished her examination, she placed it over and on her head, leaving the straps dangling from the bottom. When she didn’t buckle them herself, I reached over and did it for her.
She tried not to, but I felt her jump when she felt my hands under her chin. I felt a little guilty, but her reaction was kind of amusing, too. As entertaining as it was, I could understand her apprehension given our history, and I stifled a laugh as to not embarrass her over that.
“There.” I lifted the face shield of the helmet so she could hear me better. “Now, I’m gonna get situated on the bike first. Once I’m in place, you’ll sit on the seat right behind me. Then, once you’re comfortable, we’ll get rolling.”
Once Fluttershy nodded, I mounted myself onto the bike. With the kickstand back up, I balanced it in place with my foot, then motioned for her to get on. She moved with uncertainty as she attempted to get to her seat. After a few stumbles and missteps, she managed to sit down right behind me.
“Uhm…” She quavered. “Wh-where's the seatbelt?”
“Motorcycles don’t have seatbelts,” I answered. “You have to hold yourself down.”
“But how?”
“You’ve got arms, don’t you?”
She looked confused.
“You’re supposed to hang on to me.”
Her eyes went wide. “B-But–”
“Don’t worry, I’m a good driver. I’ll keep it slow and steady, and as long as you hold on tight, I'll make sure you don't fly off.” I punctuated my reassurance with a chuckle.
She slowly nodded, the anxiety in her expression still present.
“Ready?” I asked.
“Wait!” she exclaimed, “Where’s your helmet?”
“You’re wearing it,” I replied. “I only have one helmet since I don’t usually have a passenger.But don’t worry, I’ll be alright.”
That was mostly true. If this were a trip across town, that may have been a cause for concern, but since the shelter wasn’t too far away from school, this would be easy. The only part of making the trip I feared was how cold my face would be at the end, but I trusted myself behind the handlebars enough to know neither of us would be in any danger because of that.
"O-Okay, just… please be careful."
“I’ll try,” I said with a smirk.
The look in her eyes told me she wasn’t satisfied with my answer. Her expression gave me a weird feeling. I could feel the concern in her gaze, but that just confused me. Everything I did frightened her, yet she seemed that worried about my safety. Every interaction between us had given me the impression she couldn’t decide whether she feared me, or if she wanted to be my friend.
“I’m just messing with you,” I clarified. “I’ll be real careful, I promise.”
I pushed the shield back over her face with a finger. As it popped into place, she flinched. It was getting exceptionally hard not to giggle every time she fidgeted over something seemingly innocuous. Why did she have to be like that? There was something about her jumpiness that was so amusing. It wasn't like before when I derived enjoyment from the displeasure it caused. There was just something strangely endearing about it. Maybe I was starting to go soft, though I doubted it.
When I turned around, Fluttershy’s arms loosely wrapped around me. After turning the key, I flipped the safety switch on the right handle and held the clutch. As the engine roared to life, Fluttershy’s grip tightened like I was choking on the air I was breathing. If it weren’t for all the oxygen in my lungs quickly being squeezed out of me, I probably would have laughed.
Instead, I reached down to her hands, interlocked around my waist and tugged at them. After a few seconds, she got the message, and my lungs were met with a flood of cold air. The engine may have been too loud for me to hear her apologize like I knew she wanted to, but I could hear her do it in my head anyway.
Once I caught my breath, I backed my motorcycle out of the parking spot and made my way out of the lot. As we pulled out onto the road, I could feel Fluttershy’s grip tighten once more. It wasn’t as strict, but it was still plenty firm, and it made it a little hard to breathe. Even while going ten under the speed limit, her clutch was just as tight the whole way there.
The helmet dug into my back as she held on for dear life. She must have taken my comment about flying off a bit too literally. There was something kind of—for lack of a better term—cute about that. Unfortunately, as weirdly charming as it was, it was also pretty distracting. I was grateful that the shelter wasn’t that far. If she’d held onto me that tight any longer, she might have given me brain damage.
The only thing keeping me from fainting due to lack of oxygen was how bitterly cold it was. For better or worse, the cold air always kept me wide awake. It was hard not to be when the frigid air felt like razors dragging across my face.
If that wasn't enough to make me alert, every part of my head being in constant agony was. Less than a minute into the ride my ears were numb, my nostrils were aching, and my lips were bone dry. Without my sunglasses, my eyes would have probably frozen over. The minimal protection offered by them was enough for me to stay focused on the road, but that didn’t stop it from feeling like someone was shoving ice cubes into my eye sockets.
Before long, we were pulling into the shelter’s parking lot. Once the sounds of the engine faded, her hands finally unclasped. It was a short ride, but in just that span of time, I’d forgotten what it was like to breathe normally. I inhaled deeply, quickly regretting it as the cold air against my already thoroughly irritated throat threw me into a brief fit of coughing.
Fluttershy stepped off the bike. After she did, I set the kickstand down and stepped off right after her.
When I looked over at her, she was trembling. I couldn’t tell if it was because of the cold, the stress from her first ride on my bike, or both. Before I could speculate any further, she quickly pulled off the helmet and launched into a frantic apology. “Oh my gosh, I-I’m so sorry! I didn't mean to hold on that tight! I–”
“Fluttershy!” I snapped. The constant apologies were getting incredibly aggravating.
As I interrupted her, she immediately froze in place, donning the same expression she’d worn in the hallway. As I blinked, my brows unknitted and I sighed.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell, but really, it’s okay.” I gently placed my hand on her shoulder. “If there were any problems, I would have pulled over. You did great for your first ride. I promise.”
To my surprise, the tension in her faded, even with my hand on her shoulder.
“O-Okay. S-Sorry about that.”
It was a good thing I was wearing sunglasses, so she couldn’t see how hard I blinked when she apologized again.
“And thanks for the ride. I really owe you for this,” she trembled.
As I took my sunglasses off, I grinned at her. “Don’t worry about it,” I assured. “In fact, just consider this me making up for… well, you know.”
She nodded, a bashful smile on her face. “You know, you really don't have to worry about that. I'd rather leave all that behind us anyway."
An empty chuckle passed my lips. "You won't hear any argument from me on that.”
Both of us just shifted around awkwardly after that. It looked like she had a response to that, but wouldn’t say anything. Neither of us could seem to find words. Eventually, it was me who broke the stalemate.
"Well, I should bounce," I remarked. "I'll see you at school tomorrow."
"Yeah," she affirmed. "I should get inside, too. I'm already a little late."
"Shit, I didn't think I was going that slow."
"Oh, no, I didn’t mean–"
“Joke,” I stated simply. “It was a joke.”
She looked away sheepishly. "W-Well, still, this is a volunteer job, so I don't really have hours, so it’s fine. I just like showing up at a specific time. I was already going to be late by the time we caught up in the hallway."
With a slight nod, I turned to my bike. "Right. Well, see you tomorrow."
"See you then!" She waved before making her departure.
Instead of getting on my bike right, I just watched her begin walking to the entrance. As I did, I wondered how she planned to get home. If Rainbow Dash was usually the one who brought her here, how’d she get back? And how long would she be volunteering for, anyway?
My eyes looked toward the ground as I bit my thumb. What did I care what her ride situation was? That was her problem, not mine. Besides, there wasn’t much I could do to help if she did need a ride. I had to be at work soon. Unless she planned on staying for half an hour or less, there was no possible way I could give her a ride and make it to my shift on time.
But I still kept thinking about it. How likely would she be to accept if I offered? This was all based on the assumption she’d need a ride in the first place. If she already had one, she wouldn’t need me. Beyond that, would she even want to go through another drive on the bike? The moment she got off, she seemed pretty shaken, so I highly doubted that.
And even if she needed a ride, she’d probably decline. I quietly laughed to myself as I imagined her response. “Oh, you’ve already done enough for me. Also, I’m sorry,” or something to that effect.
Every way I looked at it, her answer was more than likely going to be no. And if it was, I’d be in the clear, and it would make it look like I was trying to be friendly. What was the harm in asking something I could reasonably predict the answer to if it made me look good?
“Hey, how are you getting home?” I asked.
Fluttershy stopped, turning to face me again. “Oh! Uhm… well, Rainbow Dash usually comes and picks me up in a couple of hours, but I’ll probably just walk home tonight.”
Exactly what I expected. But why stop there? Why not sweeten it up a bit?
“You sure about that? There’s supposed to be another cold snap tonight. I don't know if you ever want to get on this thing again, but I could swing by and bring you home if you want.”
Given my upcoming shift, I knew this wasn't true, but she was undoubtedly going to refuse, so what did it matter?
Her eyes went wide. She blinked, then her lips curled into a tight smile. “I mean, the ride wasn't that bad," she said, incredibly unconvincingly. "I-I’ll be okay, though. I couldn’t ask you to do anymore for me than you’ve already done. Besides, don’t you have to go to work in a little bit?”
Well, that was that. Everything went exactly as I expected. She even remembered I had said I had to work that day at band practice last week, and while that made me feel kind of weird, it was all I needed to say I had tried. It was time to get back on my bike, head to my apartment, and get ready for my closing shift.
“No, actually, I got tonight off. I swapped schedules with someone.”
…Or not.
As I watched Fluttershy’s eyes shift back and forth, I began screaming at myself internally. Something in my brain must have short-circuited because I could not figure out why I said that. She said no—twice—so why was I digging deeper into this ankle-deep hole?
“Uhm… I-I guess I’d appreciate that. But only as long as it’s not an inconvenience, that is.”
I couldn't help but feel like she was trying not to smile. It was hard to tell since she kept avoiding looking in my direction, but that was probably why she refused to look at me.
Either way, yes, it was a huge inconvenience. I couldn’t just sit around and wait until she was done, and I couldn’t just leave work in the middle of my shift to come pick her up and drop her off. The hole had become deeper than I was tall, but she’d thrown me a ladder. I still had a chance to climb out.
“I didn’t have anything else to do tonight anyway, so sure, why not?”
But, as history has shown, I had a thing for laying in the dirt. And as if she was looking down at me, Fluttershy’s eyes fixed on the ground.
“Well, if you don’t have anything else to do tonight, maybe you could come in with me and help out?” she suggested, looking up at me with a pleading smile. “That way, I could get things done faster, and you won’t have to leave and come back.”
The ladder was revoked. At that point, how could I say no? I was cornered. This wasn’t like band practice where I could conceal why I didn’t want to go with a decent reason. I had just told her my night was free when it wasn’t, and now she was asking me to do something with her because of that. This might have been the kind of opportunity I’d been waiting for, but it wasn’t how I wanted it.
Maybe I should have given up the act right then. Tell her the whole truth. She might be upset at first, but she would understand, right? After all, her whole thing was kindness, and being kind meant being forgiving, right? She’d forgive me if I admitted I had just lied to her face multiple times in the span of a few minutes for no apparent reason, right?
Right?
But even with all that considered, saying no felt impossible. I may have trapped myself, but, if nothing else, it was exactly what I needed to get on her good side. An opportunity to further our friendship had just been dropped into my lap on a silver platter. Flash’s words ran through my head again. If I get close to Fluttershy, that would help with my Dash problem. Out of everything that brought me down in life, that was the most immediately fixable thing, and this was a chance to work toward that.
Wouldn’t Rainbow Dash be happy to know that I not only fulfilled her duties as her best friend’s chauffeur, but that I also engaged in something she likes doing? How could she—or any of the other girls—see that as anything other than definitive proof that I was improving? This was a step in the right direction, and while it would inconvenience me, the potential payoff had a good chance to make my life just a little easier.
But at what cost? It wouldn't just inconvenience me. It could completely screw me. Was all this worth the potential financial instability of missing out on work? What would happen if I couldn’t afford my payment this cycle? Or if I couldn’t afford rent?
If I missed work this evening, I could just make up the hours, but that was only if there were hours available at all. If there were, I’d more than likely have to work them over the weekend. That meant I’d have even less time to rest before the next week of school. On top of that, I’d be screwing over my coworker. If it were anyone else, I wouldn’t care, but I was scheduled to work with the one I got along with the most.
This was all so stupid. My brain was intentionally making things worse for me. It was almost as if I wasn’t in control anymore.
But, as if my brain was apologizing to me, I suddenly had an idea. I would still be screwing over my coworker, but that specific coworker owed me a favor from about a year ago, and redeeming that favor was my only way out of this stupid situation. After the formal, as part of my whole “trying to be better” deal, I swore I’d never call it in; but that was before I'd been boxed in by my impulses, and it was the only way out.
The seconds were ticking by, and I couldn’t just stand there without an answer for much longer.
“I’ve never done this kind of thing before, so I don’t know how much help I can really be, but sure, lead the way.”
Fluttershy smiled the widest I’d seen yet. “Yay!” She exclaimed, “Just follow me. I’ll show you around, and we’ll be done in no time.”
Once again, she seemed unreasonably excited—not unlike how happy she seemed after I told her I’d give her a ride. I would have expected her reaction to the prospect of spending more time with me to be the opposite, but I’d been wrong about her quite a few times in a row already. Maybe I wasn't the only one who had something seriously wrong with them.
Regardless, I followed her to the shelter's entrance. The double doors automatically opened as we stepped close to them. The sudden shift in temperature as we walked into the heated building briefly distracted me from everything. I had grown used to being cold after the ride. The heat continued to spread through my body. It felt good to be indoors again.
The nerves summoned by my previous mental conundrum began to ease as I warmed up, but there was still the pressing matter of calling out of work. How was I going to do that without letting Fluttershy in on the fact that I lied about swapping shifts?
My eyes wandered around the lobby for a few moments. There was a receptionist desk near the wall opposite the front door with a few doors behind it. The desk was empty, but I could see someone behind one of the doors through a small window on it.
Then I saw exactly how I would call out of work without being noticed. On the far side of the room was a single-person restroom. All I had to do was say I needed to use the restroom, call out of work while I'm in there, and I’d be home free.
“I'll be right back," I remarked. "I’m gonna go run to the bathroom real quick.”
Fluttershy nodded. “Okay! It's right over there." She pointed to the room I had already started hastily walking toward. "I’ll be out here when you’re done!”
By the time she’d said that, I was already in the doorway. I turned and nodded before closing the door, clicking the lock after it shut behind me.
Once inside, I flicked both switches on the wall. Both the light and the vent fan came to life. To my relief, the fan sounded loud enough to prevent my voice from being audible outside the door. Still, out of caution, I walked to the opposite wall from the bathroom door and sat in the furthest corner. It’s not like I expected her to try and listen in, but I couldn’t be too careful.
Fishing my phone out of my pocket, I opened my phone app and scrolled through my contacts. After I pressed the “Work” contact, my thumb hovered over the call button. I hesitated, reminding myself just how stupid this was. There was no way this was as big of a deal as I was making it out to be, but it was too late for reason. No matter how dumb this was, I was committed.
The phone beeped as I pressed the call button. As it rang, I desperately hoped my coworker’s shift had already begun. I would have been fine if it was another coworker, but that would mean I’d have to ask them to talk to him specifically, and that might raise suspicion. Perhaps I was being paranoid, but I was about to ask for something that had the potential to land us both in a lot of trouble.
The line clicked as someone answered in a very deadpan tone. “For The Love of Cod, this is Hazy Skate.”
It was him.
“Skates! It’s Sunset.”
Hazy Skate—or Skates, as I called him—was a shift manager I worked with pretty frequently. Out of all my coworkers, he was the one I always got along with the best. The hate we shared for our jobs was only matched by how much we hated our boss. I didn’t try to make friends at work, but misery loves company, and it was hard not to form a bond with someone who hated the same things as much as I did.
“Hey, Shimmy! How’s it hanging?” he asked enthusiastically. Before I could answer, he spoke again. “Wait. Oh no. Wait a second, you’re not about to tell me I'm on my own tonight, are you?”
I smacked my lips, sucking in air through my teeth in response. “Yeahhh, see, about that. Something came up and I’m not gonna be able to come in. Sorry, Skates.”
"Ugh, you're killing me, Shimmy!” he exclaimed. “You're supposed to be the only one in this shitheap I can rely on!"
"I know, I know. For what it's worth, I wouldn't do this unless it was super important." That wasn’t even remotely true, but he didn't need to know that, and I knew he wouldn't ask.
“Hey, don't sweat it, I'm just fuckin' with you. It’s no big deal, I just hope you’re alright. You sick or something?”
“Do I have to answer that?”
“Nah, I’m not asking for any record, I just wanna make sure you’re okay.”
“Then I plead the fourth.”
“Well I’m not a cop and I ain’t interested in searching your shit, so I don’t know what you mean by that.”
I rolled my eyes. “Whatever number it is—you know what I mean, jackass.”
He laughed in response. “I’m just messing with you, Shimmy, chill. And honestly I’m only asking because I’m worried about you. If today were Monday, I might be able to give you some extra hours over the weekend, but I don’t know if I can do that on such short notice, and if you don’t come in today, I don’t know if you’re gonna hit that quota of yours.”
Skates was aware of my financial situation more than anyone else. When our boss wouldn’t give me the hours I needed right away, he would call me in to work any time there was an opening on the schedule. On the rare occasion I did call out, he would still help me out, but he could only do it if it was early enough in the week. It was another reason I was closer to him than any of my other coworkers. Most of them didn't care, but he did; at least as far as I could tell.
“I figured as much,” I responded, “That’s why I’m finally calling in that favor.”
He sighed. “You know, I was honestly hoping you’d forgotten about that.”
“I wasn’t gonna, but I really need this. Please, Skates?”
I could hear him sigh on the other end. In the few seconds of silence that followed, I began to wonder if he was going to refuse.
Towards the end of April of last year, there was a day that he really needed off. He wouldn’t tell me why, but it seemed incredibly important to him. A few days before, he came into work, ranting about how much of a dick our boss is for denying his request after having approved it earlier in the year. I would have offered to fill in for him, but there were two problems with that: we were both scheduled to work that night, and he’s technically my superior.
That didn’t stop me from hatching an idea, though. It was simple: I would work alone that day. I would punch in and out for both of us, and take care of all the closing duties myself. That way, he’d still get paid for a day’s work, and he’d get his day off. It was a stupidly dangerous plan, but at the time, I could afford to get fired. Thankfully, it all went off without a hitch.
In exchange for risking my ass on his behalf, he agreed to help if I ever asked for something similar. Even if he was apprehensive, he couldn’t say no. Well, he could, and at that point, I probably would have let it go; but he didn’t know that, and I was banking on that.
“Look, Shimmy, I know you said it's important, but I don’t know about this. I mean, I’m already on final warning, and if Fry catches me flubbing up hours like that, I’m fucked. And if he finds out I’m doing it for you, we’re both fucked, and you got a lot more on the line than me.”
“Come on!” I covered my mouth, hoping Fluttershy hadn’t heard my outburst. After a few seconds of nothing ticked by, I continued.
“He’s not gonna notice. He never noticed the last time we did it. And it's not like we do this all the time, either. No one's gonna find out. Besides, you owe me!”
“I know, but for real, like… I just don't think–”
“So what, are you just gonna roll over and take it when he denies your time off request in April again?”
The line went silent.
“You know he's going to. Who are you gonna go to when he does that, huh?”
The silence persisted until Skates sighed into the receiver.
“You just tell me the day, and you’ll be covered. You won’t even have to remind me. It’ll be just like last time.”
“Alright, fine,” he conceded. “It’s the twentieth just like last time. But after that, that’s it. I’m not gonna do this again. We are not going to do this again. Clear?” Skates sounded more serious than I'd ever heard him before.
The relief I felt was almost palpable, though it was overshadowed by a feeling in my gut.
“Crystal,” I agreed. “Thanks, Skates. You’re the best.”
His usual chill tone returned after a chuckle. “Don’t I know it, babe.”
“Don’t call me that. You know how much I hate how you call me Shimmy; don't push your luck.”
He scoffed. “I'm pushing my luck? Who’s the one doing who a favor right now?”
“Fine, you’re right," I playfully resigned. "But for real, thanks. I gotta go now, but I’ll see you Friday.”
“I hope so. Take care.”
We both hung up at the same time. Finally, I was free. The crisis had been averted. Now I could go spend time with Fluttershy, and to top it all off I’d get paid to do it. Everything was coming up Sunset.
Even if everything seemed to be going in my favor, I couldn’t help but hesitate as I made my way to the bathroom door. My hand hovered over the handle as my thoughts began to swirl.
This whole thing was pure cascading stupidity. If I hadn’t impulsively lied to Fluttershy, I could have worked my normal shift. If I worked my regular hours, I would have never had to call in that favor. And even though I wanted to believe the crisis had been averted, was it really, or had I only postponed it?
While our boss might be a bumbling buffoon with a paltry grasp on how the time clock system works, what if he found out another way? What if he decided to show up unannounced tonight? That wasn’t like him, but that didn’t mean it couldn’t happen.
The threat of unemployment was no longer dangling over my head as precariously, but it was still there. Only now, it wasn’t just hanging over my head anymore. Skates was an accomplice, and as such, he had to worry about his job too. And for what? Something that may amount to nothing but a night wasted?
I shook my head. There was nothing left to do. As thoughtless and unnecessary as most of my actions had been that evening, there was nothing I could do to change them at that point. I just had to hope that this would work out as I planned. Fluttershy and I would become friends faster, Rainbow Dash would hopefully lighten up soon after, and eventually, I could finally get them—and everyone else—to believe that I’d changed
Even if I hadn’t.