Anon, The manifestation of Technological Ascendency was rapidly approaching Equestria he knew that his little vacation on fucking Venus was going to be a lifetime on Equestria, and all of his friends were probably long dead, he was anon he didn't give a shit, not anymore at least. as his ship The Tempestarii approached the planet with its Ghostly Goodness he didnt expect that the obamium he gave Celestia all those years ago would do two things nr1 was make Equestria incredibly racist and nr2 remove all magic from Equestria, he also got turned to stone because he wasn't a pony and Celestia was a huge racist he was fliping fuming but he also did not care as he was Anon the physical manifestation of Technological Ascendency and his smack-head alter-ego named Billy who went by They/Them pronouns.
ANONS THOUGHTS:
he does not remember how he got off planet, he assumed that Celestia had something to do with it. His personal opinion on princess Cellulose dropped drastically after his last encounter with his Adversary but luckily for him she became worm food long ago, "Ding dong the wicked bitch is dead" he said, Anon was happy about that, he was looking towards his new life in Equestria, without that Big Hoers thingy, damn he hated that daft, goofy aah bitch as mentioned previously he was glad all of them were dead, well he was glad that everyone who didn't go by the name Luna was dead.
He was pulled out of his deep and also very dark thoughts by a burrito slamming into the wall just behind him going roughly at break neck speeds he turned his head away from the mush that once was an innocent burrito and noted that Discord was just standing there, still in his marketable plushie form but this time he was wearing Discord merch and weighed the same as a mod, but the fluffy menace was holding another burrito, Anon asked discord, "Yo discord where tf have you been?"
discord did not reply as he was a plushie, "Shit dude, Really? You became a Discord Mod?" Anon said, surprised. Then the plushie started glowing red, Anon reacted quickly and yeeted himself behind a short wall when he hit the ground, Discord promptly blew up and was reborn as himself, "Because you have damned me to moderating Discord servers for 1000 years, as a plushie no less! I will transport you down into Equestria and you will have to suffer again" said discord sounding a little pissed off. "Fuck you too Discord!" replied Anon the apprentice of Sith-lord Sheogorath, Anon got one of those inflatable Tube men that car dealerships put outside of their dealerships and whacked discord with all his otherworldly might, literally. All that Discord did was explode into a thick creamy puddle of... never mind that, Anons lawyers were not willing to explain to the judge that Discord was transmuted into Unholy baptismal fluid then anon was promptly teleported to the surface.
Anon woke up in a C position, he thought to himself "What the actual FUCK discord" as his vision cleared he suddenly heared somepony scream "HELLO NEW FRIEND! IM IZZY MOONBOW" he glared at Izzy. This wasn't THE regular Izzy Moonbow, no this was Big Tiddy Goth Izzy Moonbow, Anon glared at something he was not meant to be glaring at, Then some sand coloured Soy-boy with a aqua green mane who looked like some figure of authority, "is this motherfucker a sheriff?" Anon turned around to see a crashed Porsche Taycan with a Stormcloak soldier in the passager seat who promptly said "I used to be an adventurer like you but then I took an arrow in the knee" then as he finished the sentence the car burst into flames, Hitch noticed this and said "You will have to spend the night in Maretime Bay Jail because you blew up that car," Anon did not argue as he would have a place to stay. Anon and the pony who he thought was called Trailer Attachment walked through a costal town until they came up to a building which looked like your average eastern European building, the building stood out and looked out right depressing, "Is this the jail you were talking about? did your funding get cut or something?" asked Anon and then Hitch replied with "Shut up back there!" in the most Skyrim Imperial soldier voice in existence, and Anon did not know if he was high out of his FUCKING mind, so he pulled out the fattest joint seen to man (and pony) kind and he started smoking it so that he was certain that he was high, the second hand smoke from the Chernobyl made from weed was so bad that Hitch got on cloud 9 from just the second hand smoke alone.
They didn't even manage to reach the door of the run down building before Hitch collapsed while giggling to himself, "Man this mother fucker is out of it" Anon said out loud, Hitch stopped laughing and stared dead into Anon's soul with the reddest eyes possible, Anon got scared of the scary pony who was high as fuck and decided to run away so he ran in a random direction, he ran until he broke through a wooden door and fell face first onto the floor, also falling onto the floor made him sober again , but he only realised that he broke into someponies house after the pony screamed in fear, he looked at the pony who was a earth pony mare and had a purple mane and orange coat, "You... are Anon, Anon the human? Summoner of crows, keeper of souls, My father read me books about ancient Equestria, you were mentioned in some of them as a hot, green, big di.." anon interrupted the mare "ok who wrote that?" he said as he though about desecrating the grave of whoever wrote that, "Anyway my name is Sunny Starscout and to answer your question the book was written by Princess Luna from what I remember, Oh do tell me about Ancient Equestria" she also added.
They spent the next hour taking until they both heard a feminine voice say "Sunny why is the front door broken? and something happened to Hitch," Sunny responded with "Don't worry about it," The pink fluffy mare walked into the room where Anon and Sunny were taking about him being an old war relic.
The first thing Anon thought when he saw the mare was how Submissive and Breedable she looked, he was snapped out of this thought when she suddenly said " Oh hello you handsome thing, My name is Princess Pipp Petals."