When I Look At You

by Meteor_Mirage


Because I Miss Him So

Days later, after hours of speeches from Shining Armor espousing the virtues of forgiveness and second chances to his citizens, Sombra was finally able to leave his basement dungeon and join the rest of the Crystal Empire.

For his first few days topside, Sombra was only able to roam the castle’s halls accompanied by Sunburst as requested. For a while, he felt comfort in spending time with the stallion who’d raised him from self-inflicted perdition. But as the library trips, the dining hall conversations, and the hurried and awkward midnight farewells, while all still lovely, seemed to begin to blend together, Sombra felt a bit… bored.

He’d been promised a chance to see the kingdom he’d once held so dear, revamped and changed to fit this modern age. Instead, he was greeted with the same architecture he’d grown accustomed to a millenia ago. Even as he took glances out of the windows he’d been told to keep away from, lest he scare the citizens, he couldn’t see much, if any, changes.

That wasn’t to say he wasn’t enjoying himself, but as the days ticked on to weeks, Sombra found Sunburst growing more and more distant. Their days spent together in the library quickly became days Sunburst needed to study alone. Lunches and dinners together became awkward as Sunburst quickly clammed up when asked what he was doing all day. Their farewells grew earlier and earlier as Sunburst left the castle to do more at-home studying. Somewhere Sombra as of yet could not roam.

This left Sombra in the much less capable hooves of… the castle guards. 

That wasn’t to say that they were bad, per say, but they certainly weren’t nerdy wizards with a penchant for fast food and late-night conversations about spellcraft. No, now it was back to ‘healthy’ food and very stilted, if not all-too-aggressive conversations that lead Sombra to the conclusion that they didn’t like him very much.

On one particular day, Sombra milled through the library like usual, hoping to catch Sunburst on his way in or out. Two guards, whose names Sombra never learned, followed him closely behind as he absentmindedly milled through the royal couple’s new additions of trashy, though appealing romance novels and more modern wartime treatises.

Who knew Shining Armor was such a romantic?

As Sombra slowly realized that the lack of Sunburst wouldn’t soon fix itself, the hour growing late enough that he figured he’d just gone home, he let out a small, distraught sigh. Turning to the guards behind him, Sombra disheartenedly requested to be escorted back to his room.

While they rolled their eyes, both were happy to allow Sombra to retire early and get on with their own business.

They hurriedly lead Sombra back to his room in the back of the castle, one taking the front while the other ensured he couldn’t escape from behind. Sombra had no want to escape, mind you, head bowed as he trudged along between the two of them.

Abandonment had never felt so painful.

The guards dropped him off at his room, quickly absconding and leaving him alone in his mostly barren abode. The only things he had to call his own were a bed, a side table on which sat a clock and a lamp, and the pillows and blankets Sunburst had gifted him not too long ago.

Pushing them to the bottom of the bed as he sat upon it, Sombra sighed as he briefly contemplated returning to his dungeon below the castle. Not much had changed, in his opinion. He was just able to walk around more and see more of the sun.

The hot, bright, and unforgiving sun.

His contemplations were quickly cut off, however, as he leaned back against his comfortable mattress, truly the only reason he found left to stay above ground. It was, however, a mite bit more uncomfortable than usual. Something was poking at him under his back and, reaching beneath him, he quickly managed to extract the offending object:

A note, delicately folded and emblazoned with Sombra’s name in fancy script. 

“I apologize for being so distant lately. Please meet me by the Crystal Heart at 8 so I can explain myself. - Sunburst”

Sombra found himself having to read the note a few times, smiling a bit at the blunt, yet caring delivery. Looking to his bedside alarm clock, he saw that 8 o’clock was only two hours away. Giving a slight and gentle yawn while pulling one of his many locations towards him, he figured a small nap wouldn’t kill him. 

He’d need to be at his best for Sunburst.


An hour and a half later, a mostly awake Sombra walked back through the halls of the castle, happy to have, for now, escaped the watchful eyes of his security detail.  His mane was a bit tostled and his eyes a bit baggy, clearly craving the extra few minutes of nap he could have gleaned before his rendezvous with Sunburst.

But, as he made his way into the castle’s courtyard proper, he felt his suffering had been made all the more worth it. 

Sunburst stood in the center of the courtyard, his back to Sombra as he stood in awe at the warm, comforting glow of the Crystal Heart. The kingdom’s crystalline protector stood proudly in the center of the courtyard, its pedestal placing it above either stallion’s heads.

Seeing Sunburst’s distracted state, Sombra smirked slyly as he knew exactly what he needed to do. Imbued with a stealthiness that came natural to him at this point, he slowly creeped up behind his friend. He got just a few steps behind Sunburst before looking up towards the Crystal Heart as well.

“He’s quite beautiful, isn’t he?” Sombra said, his smirk growing wider as he saw Sunburst jump slightly. 

Swinging around at the sudden sound of the voice, Sunburst was briefly shocked to see the looming figure standing before him.

And then he smiled, looking back towards the Crystal Heart with Sombra. "Indeed it is."

Sombra extended a hoof, feeling the crystal's warm magic playing upon his coat. "So beautiful, even, that I once attempted to hide the crystal's magic away, fearing that it's purity would harm me." He said, then trailed into a soft chuckle. "Of course, I was proven right a millenia later when it caused me to explode."

Sunburst nodded briefly before processing, blinking a few times before his head snapped to look at Sombra again. "You exploded?"

"I got better." Sombra crooned, a bit too appreciative of the reaction he'd garnered. "It takes quite a lot to kill an immortal shadow, you see. All it really accomplished is knocking some sense back into me."

Sunburst blinked again, then nodded slowly and soberly, looking back towards the Crystal Heart. "Well, if it makes you feel any better, the Crystal Heart exploded too."

Now it was Sombra’s turn to nod soberly, attempting in vain to keep a shocked and concerned look from crossing his face. “Oh… did it now…”

Not quite noticing Sombra’s dour reaction, Sunburst nodded happily. “Yep! Though, much like you, it also got better.” He smirked, snickering briefly into his foreleg. “Little Flurry may have, um,  shattered it completely, but my friends and I were able to piece it back together before the Frozen North encroached too far in.”

A grim expression briefly flashed across Sombra’s face, though it quickly faded as he looked deep into the Crystal Heart. He nodded softly and sagely, a gentle smile creeping across his face. “Then I thank you for protecting the kingdom as you did.”

A gentle silence briefly fell between the two stallions. For the shortest of moments, each was much happier to simply bask in the pure warmth with the other.

But then Sunburst let out the softest of sighs.

“I, um… The reason I called you out here tonight is…” He trailed off slowly, tapping a hoof against the crystal floor of the courtyard beneath him. His eyes briefly flicked towards Sombra, but instead they remained pointed towards his hooves. “Well it’s- it’s twofold, really. The first is that I’m, well, horribly sorry that I’ve been so distant lately. I’ve been trying to work on a project, something related to something we’ve talked about previously, and it got a bit away from me. I didn’t want to spoil it until it was finished.”

Though Sombra was still a bit miffed at the loneliness his friend had instilled in him, there was nothing he could do to not smile gently at the stallion’s blushing, pleading face as it looked up at him.

“It’s quite alright, Sunburst.” He said, lifting a hoof to softly pat him on the back. “Just, next time, please inform me if it happens again. However, if you’ve called me out to talk now, then that must mean…”

Sunburst beamed, his eyes bright and warm enough to threaten to replace the Crystal Heart. “I’ve finally finished my research! I actually have a book I found that I’d like to show you. If you don’t mind.”

“I don’t mind at all.” Sombra smirked, finding Sunburst’s smile to be very infectious. He gestured a hoof back towards the doors of the castle. “Well then, shall we retire to the library and peruse all of your hard work?”

Sunburst was briefly given pause, scratching at the floor again. “Well, um, you see… all my research is still located at my home, and it’s all a bit too… personal to bring here, I’d think. The book especially.” After a moment, he brought himself to look up at Sombra again, a pleading look on his face. “Would you still, perhaps, want to join me for… ‘perusal’?”

It took all of Sombra’s effort to not immediately agree, instead remaining with a soft smirk as he nodded slowly. “Well, if Shining is okay with it…”

Turning fully to look at Sombra, Sunburst beamed again. “He is! I’ve already asked him and he says it’s fine, so long as we don’t get up to too much trouble. And provided you don’t scare too many citizens.”

"Unless the citizens are frightened by charming, debonair stallions such as myself, we should be fine." Sombra said, flashing a smirk that contained more sharp teeth than usual.

Sunburst gave Sombra a serious look. "Sombra, please…"

Sombra chuckled, still finding a bit of humor in the situation, but placed a hoof on his own chest. "I promise to be on only my best behavior for you, Sunburst."

"I'll certainly hold you to that." Sunburst smiled, not quite the beam he had before but still something warm and kind. He gestured with a hoof towards the eastern distance of the Empire. "Now then, shall I lead you to my, erm, abode?"

"Such a gentlestallion." Sombra said, bowing gratefully. "Please, lead the way."


The walk didn't take long, only a few blocks of leisurely strolling and light conversation. What did end up taking the most of the stallions' time walking to Sunburst's home happened to be the citizens they passed.

Most were happy to smile and wave at Sunburst, their resident wizard and Royal Crystaler, but froze as soon as their eyes transitioned to the larger stallion keeping him company. 

And no manner of polite greetings or attempted warm, though still a bit fangy smiles from Sombra could unfreeze the fearful ponies. All that seemed to help was Sunburst dragging him away, squeaking out gentle apologies as he did so.

Finally in front of Sunburst's home, Sombra had to internally admit he was a bit… disappointed. He’d seen the homes of many mages before him, ones that walked on giant chicken legs or castles that floated through the sky. Even his own castle, despite its stationary nature, had an opulence and grandeur befitting his station. But this?

It was just a house. A comfortable and cozy one, perhaps, but a house all the same. 

Not too bothered by the optics of his house, Sunburst quickly scrambled up the steps that lead towards his door. He pushed it open and entered, motioning for Sombra to join him inside. 

An invitation Sombra was very eager to accept. 

The inside of Sunburst’s home was much more impressive to Sombra, though not quite as cozy as he’d expected from the outside. It was a bit cramped as books lined the walls and were set in piles on the floor. Interspersed between piles and on bookshelves sat numerous ancient items of varying quality.

Picking one up, a small crystalline snowglobe, Sombra cracked a smile. It all seemed quite a bit nostalgic to him.

As Sombra perused the sights of the room, Sunburst hurried around to his piles and did his best to spruce them up. 

“S-sorry about the mess. I didn’t think it’d gotten this bad.” Sunburst said hurriedly, a blindingly red blush on his face.

Sombra quickly waved Sunburst off with a hoof, still enthralled by the falling snow in his Orb. “It’s alright, Sunburst. I actually quite like your decor.”

An appreciative grin flashed across Sunburst’s face briefly, but he quickly turned away to face the archway leading to another room. “Well, um, it should at least be a little cleaner in my bedroom… If you’d like to join me.”


“Your bedroom.” Sombra repeated, raising an eyebrow. “I know you’ve already purchased me dinner before, but perhaps this is going a bit too fast?”

Sunburst tilted his head questioningly for a brief moment, but his eyes quickly grew wide with realization. “N-no! That’s, um, not what I… It’s just where I keep my research.”

Sombra couldn’t help but snicker at this, but trailed off to a soft hum soon after. “Then please, show me all of this ‘research’ of yours.”

Eager to leave this embarrassing situation behind, Sunburst led Sombra into his bedroom. While it was a bit more sparse of books and artifacts,  they were still littered in an aesthetically pleasing fashion around the room.

“Please make yourself at home.” Sunburst said, gesturing towards his bed, the only seating in the room, before beginning to search through a nearby bookshelf. “I can’t exactly remember where I put my book.”

Sombra was again happy to follow orders, sitting down on the bed and enjoying how much more plush and comfortable it was compared to his own. He made a mental note to one day request an upgrade from Shining.

Another thing he found himself enjoying was the show that had begun before him. As seconds ticked on to minutes, Sunburst’s search for his missing notes became more and more frantic, the stallion dashing from bookshelf to bookshelf. He ducked low to search the lowest shelves and climbed his stepladder to search the highest ones, but no matter what he seemed to always come up with nothing.

After another few minutes of searching, a disheartened Sunburst meekly returned to Sombra, sitting down beside him on the bed.

“I, um, can’t find the specific book I’m looking for…” Sunburst said softly. 

“So it seems.” Sombra said, his brow furrowing a bit but remaining mostly unsurprised. “Perhaps you could explain this ‘book’ and its ‘contents’ to me. In intimate detail.”

A jolt of fear ran up Sunburst’s spine at the prospect of explaining himself. But, with a quick look towards Sombra to guide him, he quickly nodded. “Well I’m not the best at explaining on the spot but, uh, it- it had to do with you.”

“As I’ve gathered, considering my presence.” Sombra nodded along. “But which part were you interested in particularly?”

“Your… personal life mostly. A, um, very specific aspect of it, to be particular.” Sunburst stammered, with each word somehow growing more flushed with a bright blush. He swallowed hard, then covered his red face with his hooves. “Oh Celestia, this is so embarrassing.”

“Sunburst.” Sombra said, softly and yet commandingly enough to draw the flushed stallion’s attention. He stared deeply into Sunburst’s wide, blue eyes and offered an encouraging smile. “I believe I know where you’re going with this.”

Sunburst blinked. “You… you do?” 

Sombra gave a soft, sensible chuckle. “I have a very good idea, my dear.” He crooned, inching just a bit closer to Sunburst. “I mean, inviting me to your lovely home, into your lovely room, to peruse this missing ‘book’ on your bed.” He leaned in towards Sunburst, placing a hoof on his lower thigh. With the other, he gently lifted his chin. “Would you like me to kiss you, Sunburst?”

Sunburst froze for a moment, shocked, as his eyes grew wider and wider still. “I, um, I- I…” He stammered for a moment, his eyes falling to Sombra’s smirking lips. 

He only gave a slight pause, after which a small, meek nod.

Sombra gingerly leaned in towards Sunburst, wrapping a hoof around his waist to draw him close. Their lips met, briefly at first, but as sparks flew and Sunburst began to press back against Sombra in earnest, their brief, chaste kiss began to grow a bit more intimate.

In an act of dominance that surprised the both of them, Sunburst brought a hoof to Sombra’s chest and pushed gently against it. 

Happy to relax and follow orders, Sombra fell back against the bed at the push and growled eagerly against Sunburst's lips as fell with him. His hoof hooked the back of Sunburst’s head, mussing his mane but pulling him even deeper into his embrace.

But all moments, no matter how lovely, must come to an end. Groaning softly, his lungs burning from lack of air, Sunburst was forced to pull back from the kiss. As he panted for breath, he stared in awe down at Sombra. 

Wide blue eyes met half-lidded ruby ones. Sombra’s long, glistening black mane pooled around his head enticingly, and for a moment Sunburst felt the burning urge to lean back down and resume. And as Sombra smirked up at him, he very nearly dove back down for seconds.

But, as Sombra shifted, pressing back against one of Sunburst’s pillows and gearing to pull him back down himself, he leaned much too hard into something hard and sharp that was lying on the bed. He grunted, pulling back and away very quickly. 

Both paused briefly, with Sunburst reaching down towards where Sombra was laying and picked up a small book, inspecting it with a curious, yet embarrassed smile on his face.

“Oh!” Sunburst squeaked simply. “So that’s where my book went.” 

As Sunburst pulled away to rifle through his book, Sombra was left with a mixture of feelings. Foremost of them all confusion. 

Sombra sat up and inspected the paper Sunburst had found beneath him. “Your… book?” He asked, looking at it from over Sunburst’s shoulder.

It was, in fact, a book. Quite a small one, the cover made of aged, weathered leather. 

“Alright!” Sunburst grinned after reading a few pages to confirm. “Now I can finally explain myself.”

Sombra squinted, blinking a few times as he tilted his head. “"I… don't believe I understand."

Sunburst laughed a bit at that, offering his paper over to Sombra. “Well, as I was saying before we were so, um, distracted…” His face flushed with embarrassment, but he maintained quite the cocky grin despite it. “I was doing quite a bit of research on your past and, um, Ice Crystal.”

But Sunburst’s blush was nothing compared to the bright, deep red blush that began to form on Sombra’s face. So bright, in fact, that it was impressively displayed on his dark black coat.

“I… I thought that was simply a way to get me alone and tempt me with your- your wiles.” Sombra muttered, his ears pinned back for a brief moment. 

Sunburst giggled again, scratching behind his head with a hoof. “Well, I mean, you were the one who asked to, um…” His smile grew a bit more bashful, pursing his lips slightly. Looking down at the book briefly to distract himself, then quickly offered it over to Sombra. “Here’s, um, the brunt of my research. Believe me, you definitely didn’t make it easy to find anything on Ice Crystal, but what I did find was an old diary in the castle’s archives. The diary of one Topaz Bond, a guard who was under your command as king.”

Sombra inspected the aged, weathered leather booklet, flicking through a couple of pages of notes on the day-to-day duties of his guard. It was quite a boring read, but very accurate from what he could remember. Looking back up at Sunburst, he gave a cautious, curious look. “A fine guard, if a bit spacy at times. But what does he have to do with anything?”

“He was very meticulous with his note-taking, including quite a few about a ‘Sir Crystal’.” Sunburst explained. “There isn’t much to go on, but he definitely enjoyed writing about the two of you together. Up until he left not long after the Crystal Heart became active again, of course.”

Sombra’s expression gradually darkened, but he shook his head. “It was a shame to lose him, but he had better prospects elsewhere. Artistic ones, I believe.”

Sunburst hummed softly in agreement, then reached to the book in order to turn a few pages to where the note taking was replaced with drawings of varying size and quality. “He clearly did love to draw. Snowflakes, architecture, portraits-”

“He drew a caricature portrait of me once, and I nearly exiled him for it. I wish I still knew where it was.” Sombra’s mouth briefly flicked up in a nostalgic smile, but quickly became dour again. “I apologize, I interrupted you.”

“It’s alright. The portraits are really the important part here.” Sunburst said softly. Gently pulling the book away from Sombra, he turned the pages to the last one with writing on it. “Topaz’s last entry was on the day that the Crystal Heart was miraculously repaired under your command.” 

He turned the small diary to face Sombra, so that he could see the few words his guard had written so long ago. 

‘To remember him by.’

Sombra took a sharp intake of breath, turning away from the diary as he spied the date. “The day Ice Crystal left us. I remember it well.” 

“I’m sorry, but bear with me here.” Sunburst said softly, reaching out a hoof to place it on Sombra’s shoulder. This drew his attention back as Sunburst turned the page, and as he did a folded up piece of well-preserved paper dropped from the diary.

Sombra was quick to pick it up, a curious look on his face as he did. He unfolded it slowly, carefully, to protect the aged paper from tearing.

And then he froze.

Drawn on the page was the portrait of a bespectacled stallion with a pale green coat. His short, wavy white mane looked a tangled mess and dark, tired circles were very apparent under his bright blue eyes. But despite that, he smiled a warm smile that lit up his face. 

Sombra just stared at it for the longest time, at first not believing the paper was real but soon just staring in awe at the handsome portrait. As he held it tightly in his hooves, they began to shake ever so slightly.

But they were quickly steadied as Sunburst gingerly brought his own to them, holding them softly as he too stared down at the portrait. “He really does look just like me, huh?”

“The spitting image.” Sombra said with a soft, sad laugh. 

There was a brief pause between the two stallions as both stared down at the portrait. Sombra was the first to look up, his eyes misty and full of appreciation for Sunburst. 

Sunburst only had a brief moment to look back before Sombra lunged forward, wrapping his hooves around him and pulling him tight against his chest. 

“I thank you, Sunburst.” Sombra said, his voice soft and shaky as he held his Sunburst tightly and tears slowly began to fall. “Deeply. Truly. From the bottom of my heart.”

Sunburst was quick to reciprocate the hug, rubbing one hoof along the small of his back to provide comfort while the other wrapped tightly around his waist. “It was left for you. All I did was track it down.”

Another silence fell between the two embracing stallions, only ended after a few moments as Sunburst slightly pulled away to look Sombra in the face. “So, now that I have a visual reference, do you think you could tell me more about Ice Crystal?”

Sombra stared at Sunburst for a solid second before a wide grin pulled across his face. “Oh my, where to start…”