Princess Celestia had many famous qualities. She’d often overhear from those conspicuously whispering about her whenever she appeared in public. “Wise,” “benevolent,” “omnipotent”—she rolled her eyes internally whenever she heard that one—”graceful,” “patient,” or so it went. One quality she knew her subjects didn’t know, one she was glad none were able to discern—save her sister and perhaps old mentor—was her mastery of concealing when she wasn’t listening.
Well, it was not entirely accurate to say she wasn’t following what was being said, more so that she already knew the subject matter and where it was heading. Ruling for over a thousand years tended to bring up similar dealings, more times than she wished would occur. She’d appear thoughtful as they prattled on for hours on end, bringing up every possible beneficial scenario that they believed likely to occur if she ruled in their favor.
“—and that’s why we believe the Manehatten National Zoo should receive subsidies, in order to keep admission costs low as we bring in new and exotic creatures for the public to view, with the added benefit of being able to study these creatures in a safe and enclosed environment, for those pursuing academic studies who would benefit from such.”
Swift Vine, finally opening his eyes after that particularly long winded speech, dabbed his forehead with a kerchief. Whether it was due to the peculiar warmth of the room, or jitters from standing before a princess, or something else entirely, was hard to see by even the most perceptive of eyes. However, deep down he felt dread, knowing full well his boss would only lower the price of admission ever so slightly after receiving the subsidies. He didn’t bring up the price change before the princess, hoping she would not notice after seemingly going over everything over the course of three hours.
He bit his lower lip as he awaited a response, dreading how his boss would reprimand him out if nothing came from this little escapade. He’d poured several days of his time trying to think of anything and everything that would be seen as favorable, but he was aware of the laughability of receiving subsidies for a matter such as this, which is why he felt his world collapse during that meeting, before learning of his fate.
Princess Celestia turned her head to the side and closed her eyes for a moment, appearing to be lost in thought.
Hmm, yellow butter or red velvet cake for this afternoon? Decisions, decisions… Perhaps both would be in order. Oh, but what tea would best compliment the combination?
Perhaps I should give my student a small friendship subject for her to look into, with a postscript attached on the subject of teas and cakes for her to look into afterwards… Although, knowing her, she would take a while to respond, even if the lesson were very small. She always wanted to cover every minute detail. And she wonders why I hardly ever ask her to tackle specific requests anymore.
Swift Vine dabbed his forehead more fervently as beads of sweat started forming more rapidly as the seconds rolled by.
Soon, Princess Celestia turned her head back to him, reaching a decision.
“I see. Yes, I do believe it would be quite beneficial for potential future zoologists, as well as those in other similar fields of study to have the chance to observe exotic creatures without needing to travel to far-off lands. Perhaps what they learn could lead to new and exciting innovations. Very well, I will grant the zoo a sizeable subsidy—"
Swift Vine let out an inaudible sigh of relief. He couldn’t believe his fortune, perhaps he’d soon find himself a higher paying position.
A small smile graced Celestia’s lips as she continued after a small pause, “—on the condition that the zoo gives me the current price of admission, as well as the adjusted price before the subsidy takes effect. Furthermore, the admission should be free for those looking to partake in the studying of animals there,” Celestia finished. She was not a fool, she knew full well there had to be a reason why Manehatten hadn’t granted the subsidy themselves. She’d dealt with oh so many with ulterior motives in the past. It didn’t matter how hard they tried to hide the fact; she could always see through their little façade.
Swift Vine went completely pale and started stammering wordlessly. He felt faint, feeling as though he were about to collapse at any moment. He was doomed.
“Is there anything more? If not, I call this meeting adjourned. You have two weeks to respond with those price adjustments, Mister Vine.” She nodded to the nearby royal guard.
Two of the guards stood by his side. He fumbled as he tried to retract the chart he brought to a reasonable travel size to fit in his saddle. Princess Celestia, seeing the struggle, used her magic to fold the stand for him. He gave her a stuttered thanks as he put everything away. He bowed shakily and was escorted out of the throne room.
Once alone, she slumped ever so slightly in her chair and let out a sigh of relief. She allowed herself a smile, knowing she had an open schedule for the rest of the afternoon, a rare occurrence if there ever were one. The last time she had such a break, she’d had to deal with a disgruntled dignitary from Griffonstone, claiming they had not received the agreed-upon wheat for the month and throwing around accusations at Celestia herself, such as her feigning innocence on the matter and keeping the wheat for herself, which was ridiculous at best. Why in the world would she hoard wheat?
Cakes, on the other hoof…
They then claimed the cart must have been hijacked by some of her subjects. She’d spent the better part of the day dealing with that mess, only to find out through a griffon messenger during that meeting that it had been one of their own. The dignitary had been less than graceful even after learning that fact, throwing out excuses left and right as he left in a huff.
She chuckled. The odds of something of that nature occurring again during one of her rare hiatuses seemed ludicrous. No, she was going to enjoy her short recess as best as she could.
She stomped one of her hooves on the ground twice in quick succession. The metallic sound echoed loudly to the other end of the throne room. One of the guards on post outside the door quickly appeared before her in rapt attention.
“Please inform the royal bakers that I will be in need of a generous slice of red velvet and yellow butter cake, as well as a cup of chai brought to my study.”
He gave a bow and turned to leave.
“Oh, and one more thing—”
He turned back to her. She gave him a small smile.
“—after doing that, you and your partner may have the rest of the day off.” She teleported in a flash.
The ever-stoic guard, checked to ensure he was completely alone, did a quick celebratory hoof pump.
With some cake, tea, and a good book in hoof, she prepared to settle in for the afternoon. She pulled back the shades, which provided much better lighting, but not entirely ideal for reading. She trotted to a nearby desk and whisked away a couple candelabras at once, bringing them to a stop near her purple cushion on the floor, and lit both sets. Now satisfied with her proper setting, she folded her legs and got into a comfortable reading position. Turning to the first page of Fortune Archipelago, she absentmindedly used her magic to pick up her fork. She opened her mouth to take a bite.
The glass doors leading to the balcony opened in an aggressive manner, leading to her candelabras blowing out and her beloved velvet cake piece dribbling down her nose onto her book.
Strange. It normally took a lot more force than a mere gust of wind to blow open the set of doors, especially considering they should have been locked.
Slightly perturbed, she dropped her fork back onto the plate, used a napkin to wipe her face and used her magic to clean the page of a book, which now only held a small pink smudge as a reminder. She trotted to the set of doors, intending to ensure they were locked this time around.
Lighting her horn, she closed the doors, not before a red blur flew past her face. In shock, she shot her head back to face whatever had found its way into her study, only to find nothing.
Perhaps the stress of the day has gotten to me, she thought as she rubbed her temple. She turned back to attempt to close the doors once more, only to find herself face-to-face with the perpetrator.
She reared her head back and almost fell to her haunches and let out a startled cry. Getting her bearings, she brightened the light of her horn, only to find that the perpetrator was nothing more than a cardinal bird. She let out a breath and gave her new companion an encouraging smile. She held out a foreleg toward the creature, which took her invitation and landed on her.
“Hello there little one, I don’t know the circumstances that lead you here, but I welcome you nonethe–”
The door to her study shot open with a loud bang.
“Your highness! I heard a scream. Is everything alright?” A guard, newly appointed as one could tell by his helmet tilting to the side, was rather animated as he searched high and low for the cause of the ruckus.
The bird found itself nestled on Celestia’s back, quietly shaking in trepidation. She turned back to her new friend and tried to comfort it.
“Everything is alright, there’s nothing to fear. He’s just a little excitable is all. He won’t hurt you; I promise.” The shaking started to slow, it peered at her from behind its wings before slowly dropping them back to the sides.
The guard tried to look around her to see whom or what she was speaking to, but didn’t want to overstep his boundaries. He stood awkwardly in place and tried to appear stoic, but was quickly failing as his curiosity was getting the better of him.
“Everything is fine. I just had a little run in with some wildlife that’s lost its way.” She turned to the side so he could see what she was talking about.
“If you would please get ahold of the groundskeeper and ask for some birdseed, I’m sure our friend here would greatly appreciate it.”
He gave her one of the sloppiest salutes she’d ever seen, to which she almost laughed gaily, before he turned and flew in a hurry out the room.
She turned back to face her avian companion. It plucked at its plumage a couple times before looking at her once more and tilting its head, giving her a quizzical look.
“Perhaps you would like to stay here for a while? I, for one, wouldn’t mind the company.”
It nodded, to which she smiled brightly in response. As she closed the doors leading to the balcony, a thought occurred to her.
“Would you like to be perched from a higher elevation?”
Another nod. She furrowed her brow at the repeated gesture.
Odd, perhaps it has lost its voice?
A sad thought to be sure, but she knew she could at the very least comfort it. She scanned the room for something she could make use of. She took note of some small petunias near the door and made up her mind. She channeled her magic on the petunias and focused on the object she had in mind. The plant violently morphed; stems became roots that shot down into the rapidly growing pot that contained them. The sepals twisted around one another and pushed outward in a circumference, before crawling skywards forming the trunk. The petals withered before becoming reborn as branches and erratically pushing in every which direction. Leaves grew from the quickly spreading branches.
By the time she finished her transmogrification spell, the once tiny flowers became a much larger baby oak tree, just stretching past Celestia’s head. It wasn’t the prettiest sight in the world, but she knew that mattered little, considering her new companion was already making a home out of it. She gave it a smile before settling back into a comfortable position on her cushion. She turned a page, grabbed another piece of cake with her fork and took a bite.
Bark.
The fork clattered onto the page of the book, smearing the pages once more. She blinked a few times in rapid succession. She whipped her head around, flicked her ears in several directions, and searched the room.
Not noticing anything, she used a scanning spell and found nothing else living besides her and the bird in the room. Confused, but ultimately defeated, she cleaned the mess she made once more and continued undeterred in her conquest to enjoy her afternoon. She took a sip of her tea, which was cold now. She used a heating spell on the pot and her cup. She took another sip.
Bark.
She violently spat out her drink in surprise, soaking not only the book but her favorite cushion. Her eyes widened. This time she got up, fully intent on finding the source. Still not seeing anything in the room, she tried to go over every possible conceivable scenario. One possibility formed in her mind. Was it Pet Appreciation Day, and had she simply forgotten? It was the one day of the year she allowed her guard and staff to bring in pets while on duty after all. She summoned a calendar.
It was two weeks away.
She frowned. Did the one guard posted outside bring a service dog for anxiety? No, that didn’t make any sense to her either, as the recruiters certainly wouldn’t allow one to pass if they needed one. He was a newbie after all, perhaps an honest date mix-up? She shook her head; she was running out of ideas.
She opened the door leading to the hall and peered around. Using her scanning spell once more, she found nothing besides her and some guards posted further down.
Strange, very strange, she thought. Nothing made sense, and that was never a good sign.
She trotted back in and shut the door. Knowing she wasn’t going to enjoy her afternoon as she had hoped, she sighed. She needed to get to the bottom of this before anything. Snapping out of her thoughts she noticed a certain little birdie was no longer lounging in the branches of the makeshift tree. Searching, she found it fluttering about around the doors leading to the balcony.
“Leaving so soon? You’re welcome to stay longer if you like, I’m sorry if the noise has been startling.”
It shook its head. She gave a small sad smile, knowing she would likely not be seeing her friend again.
“I see…” She bowed her head. “It was nice to meet you. Safe travels, my little avian friend.”
She opened the doors leading to the balcony.
It barked twice in appreciation and flew out in a hurry.
An extreme oddity occurred, something that nopony alive today, with the exception of her sister, had ever witnessed: Celestia’s jaw dropping. Her mouth opened and closed several times as she tried to process it all. She shook her head rapidly as she had a sudden realization.
Perhaps a little mishap at the School for Gifted Unicorns? That made too much sense to her.
Her mouth twitched upwards a few times. It started with a few sputtering coughs, which turned into small chuckle, followed by a full out guffaw. She fell on her back. Oh, this certainly made up for what she thought was a ruined afternoon. To think she thought she was losing her mind! Oh, the hilarity of it all. She would need to get into contact with the school and inform them. Hopefully the spell wasn’t a permanent addition to the bird’s vocal arsenal, if so, they would need to track down the poor thing and correct the issue.
A few giggles sputtering out of her here and there, she got up and made her way over to the balcony doors. Her eyes fluttered open and closed slowly, still thinking about the odd encounter. She wiped a tear away. She channeled her magic to close the door—
A pink object flew past the balcony.
She blinked. That’s strange… No one should have flight clearance this high.
Another pink blur whizzed by in the opposite direction. She couldn’t make it out fully even with rapt attention.
She raised an eyebrow and stepped out onto her balcony. She inspected the sky in every direction and didn’t notice anything. She looked down, nothing. She was perplexed. If someone had made it up this high, the guard would have immediately guided the culprit back down to the ground and reprimanded them. But neither had that occurred, nor had she been alerted. Things were just getting weirder by the minute.
She turned her head to the left, only to be smacked in the face by some large sticky substance, and she panicked. She channeled her magic and teleported away from the offending object that assaulted her. Only for it to follow her, because it was stuck to her coat—well, mostly her face. She sputtered, spitting out the…
Cotton candy? What in Equestria– she thought as she calmed slightly and focused her magic on the substance, pulling it completely off of her.
She inspected it. No doubt about it; it was cotton candy. As she floated it around, she noticed some brown liquid seeping through it. She furrowed her brows. It was oddly familiar but she didn’t know why.
“Princess Celestia! We have a situation!”
Her head shot to the right as she saw one of her royal guards barreling towards her. What worried her wasn’t the pace he traveled, nor the tone of his voice, but the fear plastered on his face. She knew whatever it was, was urgent.
He landed and didn’t bow. Very urgent. He spoke in rapid succession, “Urgent news from Ponyville, Your Highness! They’ve under full calamitous assault! Objects randomly gaining sentience and attacking civilians! Sticky pink clouds plastering the streets! Animals changing shape and size and terrorizing them! Reports are coming in that it’s starting to spread beyond the town! It’s… it’s… full-on chaos, Your Highness!”
He tried to catch his breath as he awaited an order.
Celestia backpedaled in shock. That sounds an awful lot like… No… It couldn’t be…
The door to her study burst open, the guard stationed outside her door quickly galloping to her, followed by someone she couldn’t fully make out behind him.
“Your Highness—” spoke that same someone behind the guard, out of breath. The guard moved to the side so she could make out the speaker. Her heart sank.
“—the statue is gone,” the groundskeeper said.