The beach was warm and bright, a pair of sensations Luna usually scorned. But right now she was making an exception to her usual tastes. The sun hung high in the sky, but its blinding gaze didn't bother Luna nearly as much as usual, nor did its scathing rays threaten to burn her skin until it was bright red and sore. A cool breeze offset the heat of the white sand she lay on, and the constant crash of gentle waves nicely muffled the distant shrieks of foals at play.
One of those foals was the reason Luna was here. A little filly, not even old enough to have her cutie mark, had been having a nightmare about terrible ocean storms and sea monsters not ten minutes ago. Now, her shouts were of joy instead of fear, and she played in the waves with her imaginary friends without a care in the world.
She hadn't noticed Luna sunbathing on the beach, and that was fine by Luna. Everything had gone off without a hitch, and she was content to bask in the fruits of her labor. The last thing she needed right now was another disaster.
It was then Luna heard a loud knocking in her ears. She sat up as she scanned the beach, looking for anything that might have made that sound. But there was no obvious cause that she could find, unless one of the palm trees had dropped a bunch of coconuts when she wasn't looking. She hadn't made them to do that, and the filly wasn't paying any attention to them, so it she doubted that was the cause.
The knocks came again, even louder than last time, and Luna felt herself falling. She opened her eyes to find herself lying on her chamber floor, her bed sheets tangled around her barrel and legs. It had been a long time since she had last been forcefully ripped out of a dream, and the feeling was not pleasant. If it never happened to her again, it would be too soon. Taking a second to clear her head, Luna pulled herself from her covers and threw them back onto her bed.
It was surprisingly bright in her room. A quick look showed she had forgotten to close the door to her balcony when she came in, and the midday sun was free to shine inside. There was something unsettling about that, but she didn't have time to think about it right now.
The knock met her ears for a third time, and Luna realized it was coming from her door. That meant there was a pony on the other side who wanted to speak with her. Likely a pony who was expecting Nightmare to answer, not her. Just trying to imagine what they could want terrified her. There was no way answering that door could go well. She looked back to the open balcony.
Don't run, said the voice. You can do this. I will help you.
Now Luna was really afraid. The voice wasn't supposed to sound reassuring—it was cruel and spiteful, manipulative and pretentious. This must be some kind of trick. She needed to stay on her guard.
You have no reason to trust me, but I'm telling the truth. I'm here to help you.
The knock came for a fourth time. She looked at the balcony again. Even if she escaped her room, she had nowhere to go. The castle was the only home she had, and she couldn't hope to hide anywhere on its grounds. She was trapped here.
Taking a deep breath, she lit up her horn and grabbed the doorknob.
There was a white pony outside. She recognized him as Swift Hoof, the pony Nightmare had been using to deliver messages. He was visibly sweating.
“Y-your Highness,” he stammered. “I-I'm afraid I have bad news.”
Her heart started hammering. This was already going terribly. She was in trouble, and it was for something that wasn't even her fault. Unless one considered letting the Nightmare take over her responsibility. Maybe it was her fault. Maybe she did deserve this.
Would you quit blubbering? There's no need to— the voice cut itself off, sighing deeply. There's nothing to worry about, it said in a much calmer tone. We can deal with whatever it is he has to say. Just relax.
That wasn't supposed to happen. She expected Nightmare to yell at her louder, tell her she was useless or foolish. Why would it act helpful? Why was it trying to stay so calm? This was so strange.
Swift Hoof continued to stare at her. His legs were quaking beneath him, but he showed no signs of leaving. She took another deep breath.
“What is the problem?” she asked.
“The fireworks you ordered aren't going to be ready on time," he said. "They've already run into complications. They aren't going to meet the deadline you set before the festival.”
Fireworks? Fireworks! The fireworks Nightmare had ordered from Flash Powder. The fireworks Nightmare had extorted from Flash Powder.
Extorted is a rather strong word. He wasn't making things easy, I had to be persuasive if I wanted him to cooperate with me.
As if that was a valid excuse for terrorizing an innocent pony. One of her own subjects no less!
Well, what would you have done?
She would have done a lot of things, actually! Asked him nicely, for starters. Actually listened to what he had to say. Made an effort to come to a compromise instead of using her magic to intimidate him. Treated him like a pony and not a disobedient slave.
Why don't we try it your way, then? Tell him you feel you've made a mistake, and that you want to fix it.
Could she do that? Just apologize and offer to try again? Surely not, there's no way they could forgive her.
Swift Hoof was still looking at her uncertainly.
"Um, yes, about that," she stammered. "I've been thinking about my meeting with Flash Powder, and I think I might have been a little, uh, unreasonable. C-could you maybe tell him I'm willing to change the terms of our contract?" She looked into Swift Hoof's eyes, expecting to find an angry scowl or a glare. Instead, he looked surprised.
"Certainly, your Highness," he answered. "Would you be willing to meet with him today?"
Meet with him? She had to do it in person? There's no way that could work! Flash Powder had to hate her now, she couldn't just go and talk to him!
That's exactly why we should talk to him, said the Nightmare. It's the only way we can convince ponies to like us. If we run away and hide, our last meeting will be the only impression he has of us.
She could just leave him with that bad impression, it would be much easier to avoid him. She could just hide in the castle forever, and Flash Powder would never see her again.
If we talk to him and correct our mistake, he might forgive us. We've certainly been forgiven for worse.
She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. She didn't want to do it, it was a pointless risk to take. She should just tell Swift Hoof no. Actually, she should just cancel the order all together. In fact, she could just cancel the whole holiday. That would be the fastest way to fix the problem.
"Maybe not today," she said. "I think tomorrow might work better?"
What was she doing?! That was the worst thing she could have said! What was wrong with her?!
"Of course, your Highness," Swift Hoof said with a bow. "I'll deliver the message at once." With that, he turned and trotted down the hall. He disappeared before Luna could even blink, living up to his name. Luna stared after him long after he disappeared. What had she just done?
Well, that went well, didn't it?
That snapped Luna back to reality, and she finally closed the chamber door. She turned back to her oddly bright bedroom, where a warm breeze was drifting in from her open balcony. The room felt completely alien to her.
"What in Equestria is going on?"
You're finding your courage. Taking initiative. Facing your problems head on.
Her gut instinct was to accuse the Nightmare of manipulating her, but that was wrong. She had been the one to tell Swift Hoof to schedule for tomorrow. The words had flowed from her mouth so effortlessly, despite the terrible consequences they promised. She should be feeling terrified, panicking and on the verge of a meltdown. For some reason though, she was oddly calm. Was she just sitting in the eye of the storm, waiting for everything to crash down again?
Why don't you go to the dining hall? Maybe some food will help put your mind at ease.
She didn't have the patience to listen to the voice right now. It was always up to something, it was its very nature to manipulate her. Maybe it had done something to make her do this. But then, why had it given her back control last night? Why had it sounded so genuine when it helped her talk to Swift Hoof?
It was then that her traitorous stomach growled. She had slept several hours later than usual, as her stomach was all too aware. It panged with hunger, and left her no choice. She left her chambers and made her way to the dining hall.
It was already noon. She had missed breakfast by hours now. Luna hoped Celestia wasn't mad at her about that. Then again, their last encounter hadn't ended so well. Celestia was probably happy she hadn't shown up today.
She opened the door, quietly slipping inside. To her surprise, Celestia was there waiting for her.
"Sister?"
”Luna," Celestia said. "I want you to tell me what's going on.”
Celestia's face was intense. Her purple eyes were firm, and Luna was left paralyzed by their gaze. There was no escaping this.
“It's complicated,” Luna mumbled.
“I have time. I've cleared my schedule for today.”
Luna's eyes went wide. “You have? Why?”
“Because I realized I haven't been taking this seriously." Celestia got up from her seat at the table, and approached her. "You told me you were still suffering from Nightmare Moon, but I haven't done anything to help you. I've sent Twilight into your dreams and taken you under my wing in court, but that isn't what you need, is it?" Celestia reached her and placed a hoof on her back. Her eyes were soft and delicate now, filled with compassion and care. "You need somepony to be there for you, to hear what you have to say, and to help you get better. Isn't that right?”
Luna looked down at the ground, and her hindquarters hit the floor. “I don't know what I need, Celestia. My life is filled with contradictions and misguidance. If there are answers to what I suffer from, I haven't a clue where I would find them.”
“Then, please, tell me what's troubling you. Tell me the truth, the whole truth. I swear I'll do anything I can to help.”
“I... I'm not sure...”
“Luna please. Don't you trust me?”
Luna wanted to, more than anything. The memories of when she last did felt older than dirt, but they were happy memories. A time when life felt worth living.
She took a deep breath. “Nightmare Moon has always been part of me. She has been there since the day I was born. She is me.”
Celestia's eyes grew wide.
“She's not a parasite or an infection, she's just me. The part of my thoughts I wish I didn't have. The reason I made my big mistake a thousand years ago.”
“Oh, Luna...” Celestia wrapped her in her wings, hugging her close. “I'm so sorry, Luna. I should never have let this get so far.”
“It's not your fault, sister,” Luna mumbled.
“But it is," Celestia insisted. "Maybe not mine alone, but I have been unfair to you Luna. I haven't been a good sister at all. It wasn't until I spoke with Twilight yesterday that I realized it, but I've left you all alone since your return. I've forgotten how to love you." Celestia pulled her closer, her voice growing soft.
"When I lost you, I was miserable," she said. "I couldn't think about you, it hurt too much. So instead, I forced myself to forget. I focused all my attention on ruling Equestria, distracting myself with everything it had to offer, losing myself in all its intricacies. Every waking hour I could I solved problems, talked to ponies, and fended off enemies. Between the nobles, all the growing cities, and the griffins and minotaurs, my mind had no time to wander. I hid my emotions away, avoiding the pain as much as I could. But I wasn't doing myself the service I thought I was.
"My schedule ran me ragged, and my life was consumed by work. The creatures I talked to became useful tools at best, and annoying roadblocks at worst. They weren't living feeling ponies anymore, they were just a means to an end. It didn't take long for all their faces to blend together in my mind, and all their names escaped me so easily. Which was which didn't matter anymore, so long as they served their purpose. It took me a long time to realize what I had done to myself. I had forgotten how to love.
"I tried to change myself. I took breaks during my day to take work off my mind. I stopped thinking of the ponies who worked for me as my servants, and I tried to learn more about them. I talked to them about their families and friends, their hopes and dreams and fears. I did grow closer to them, and sometimes I truly cared about them. But there was still something separating me from them. Their lifespans.
"Ponies live such short lives. Everyday I ruled, I lost one pony and gained another. Every time I got close to a pony, I knew I would lose them before long, and then another would pop up in their place. Finding the motivation to keep caring about them got harder and harder, and I was tempted to give up. But I remembered there had been a time in my life where love came easily. Before I lost you.
"I had never understood it before, but you are my constant, Luna. Your companionship was a boon I had taken for granted, keeping me grounded and reminding me of my place in life. Without you, I was lost in a sea of meaninglessness. I was alone, no matter how many ponies I surrounded myself with."
Luna pulled back to look Celestia in her eyes. “You... you don't mean that, do you?”
“I do." The words were warmer than the coziest blanket. "I mean it with every fiber of my being. You are my only true equal, the only one who understands me. You've been with me through things nopony else can imagine, we've had experiences only the two of us can share. I can never be complete without you.
“Celestia...” The tears flowed freely down Luna's face, like a waterfall of anguish that had been kept dammed for far too long. She buried herself in her sister's coat, relishing the feeling of being held by her.
"When you finally returned, I was afraid," Celestia continued. "I knew I couldn't afford another mistake. If I drove you away a second time, I would never forgive myself. So I gave you the space that I thought you needed, and time to sort yourself out. But while I waited, you only retreated further into your shell. I thought Twilight would be able to help, and she did. But as amazing a pony as she is, there was only so much I could expect from her. You needed someone you could trust implicitly, who could hope to understand what you were going through. But I stood idly by, thinking I wasn't good enough to help you."
That's her excuse? She thought she wasn't good enough for us? Is she insane? Does she have no idea who she is?
"You're a fool," Luna said, a small smile on her lips. "You're perfect, Celestia. You couldn't wrong me if you tried."
Celestia shook her head. “None of us are perfect, Luna, least of all me. We all struggle with ourselves, we all make mistakes, and we all have regrets. If your greatest mistake is becoming Nightmare Moon, then mine is failing to be there when you needed me most. I can only hope for your forgiveness.”
"Of course I forgive you, sister. If anything, I should be asking you for forgiveness."
"I forgave you long ago, Luna. Like I said, this is all as much my fault as yours. So please, give me another chance to fix this."
Now is the time, the voice spoke with determination. We must right the wrong we made so long ago. Tell her the truth, and mend our bleeding hearts. The request hung in the air for a moment. Please, it quietly added.
The nervousness Luna had felt in her heart was now barely more than a whisper. Celestia deserved to know. She owed it to her sister to help her understand. For the first time, she wanted to tell her just what had been troubling her for so long now.
“I'm scared, sister," she started. "I have these terrible feelings that I don't know what to do about. They come in many forms, but none are any less unsettling than the others. Sometimes, I get angry at ponies who I know don't deserve it. Other times, I try to intimidate ponies who disagree with me, and make them do things my way. It makes me think I'm turning back into Nightmare Moon, and I don't want to go back to that. I don't want to make that mistake twice.
"But I can't escape them. I've tried so hard to get rid of them, but I just end up exhausted. The anger and indignance are part of me, just like the fear and regret. I can't run from myself. And yet, if I give into those feelings, I'm afraid that I'll make the same mistake all over again. I'm just stuck in misery. I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel like such a terrible pony.”
Celestia pulled her closer. “You're not a terrible pony, Luna," she said. "Everypony has those feelings. I couldn't tell you how many times I lost my temper in court, how many close friends I accidentally scorned, or all the times I took things too far. Behind every pony is an endless list of mistakes, and they only get longer every day."
"But you're perfect," Luna mumbled against her sister's coat. "You're always so calm and in control, no matter how much of a mess you're in. You handled court so effortlessly the other day, even with me causing a scene. Nopony ever thinks to question you, because you always know exactly what's needed."
Celestia laughed, and the vibrations traveled through her chest and tickled Luna's cheek. "Oh, Luna, you couldn't be more wrong. I still make mistakes all the time. Yesterday I completely forgot about a meeting I had scheduled. Raven had to track me down and tell me I was already ten minutes late. Just last week, someone in Ponyville managed to take a very unflattering picture of me stuffing myself with cake and published it in the school newspaper for the whole town to see. For sun's sake, I couldn't even get myself to help you when I knew you needed me! I had to be reminded by Twilight Sparkle and her friends how sisters are really supposed to treat each other.
"You can't let your mistakes define you, Luna. They are temporary and fleeting, but you are not. There's no mistake that can't be forgiven with time. So long as you truly regret hurting others, you can always find your way back into their good graces."
Luna looked up at her sister. “Is it really that simple?”
“Well, it's not always easy, but yes. With determination and passion, there's no setback you can't overcome.”
“Well..." Celestia's words were charged with hope, but Luna couldn't help but feel skeptical. "You'll be there to help me, right?”
Celestia smiled warmly. “Of course. Things are going to be different from now on. I won't let you suffer alone anymore. I'll do everything I can to help you. Just promise that you won't run from me either.”
Luna wrapped her wings around Celestia, finally returning the hug her sister had started. “I promise, sister. I'll do better. I won't hide my true feelings from you.” Her heart beat loudly in her chest, but for once it was relief that flowed through her veins. Celestia did care about her—loved her in fact. Their sisterly bond remained intact, even after all that had happened. It felt like she was inside an incredible dream somepony had made for her, but somehow this was real.
I can't believe it... It worked! the Nightmare exclaimed, making Luna's heart leap into her throat. We're actually making progress! After so long, things are finally moving forward!
She had never heard the Nightmare speak like this before. It sounded so happy and and excited, so full of joy and mirth.
You finally admitted what we really are! We've taken the first step towards redemption— nay, towards the future! You finally accepted... me. The last word was quietly whispered in a tone more humble than she had thought the voice capable of.
The Nightmare's excitement was unsettling, but also infectious. Maybe it was right. Maybe this was something important.
You told Celestia how we actually feel. Our frustrations and struggles, finally put into words and acknowledged. For the first time in a thousand years, you've treated us like we really are a single pony. You've proved we truly can overcome our differences and live as we were meant to.
When she put it like that, it did sound serious. She hadn't thought about it at the time, but she had just taken responsibility for Nightmare's actions. In truth, she had always known it was her fault as well. It wasn't fair to pin all the responsibility on Nightmare. They really had been the same pony at the time.
There was still a nagging feeling that she had just made a mistake, but she couldn't tell what it might be. If the Nightmare was scheming something, it was far beyond her current understanding. She felt so warm and safe right now, it was hard to believe anything could be wrong.
"Please don't make me regret this," she whispered.
If you find a way to regret it, it'll be the second worst thing to ever happen to us, Nightmare answered. This is going to be the moment we look back on and realize our life finally changed for the better.
She could have stayed in Celestia's embrace for the rest of time. It was only when her stomach reminded her she hadn't eaten breakfast that she was able to pull herself away.