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// Screw Face! 
// Story: Punkbabii! 
// by HelloPussy 
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Braeburn is Mac’s coolest cousin. He’s a cattle farmer which isn’t the cool part, he also has horses and they are gorgeous. But the coolest part is the fact he’s a bull rider and really good at it too. He let me help him out once, like the last time I was here with AJ and her grandmother. I’ve never visited with just Mac before. 

There’s something else he does. He calls it the family business, calls it apple selling, but honestly there are no apple trees here. He has this huge barn, though, and AJ mentioned something about not going in there the last time. I think he keeps the apples there. AJ also mentioned something about her dad getting 25 to life for selling the same stuff—like what the fuck? I swear this nation is wacko shitfaced crazy for that. 

“Mackie!” Braeburn calls from his front porch. He has his hands cupped over his mouth to amplify his voice, and he’s shirtless so I can see his tattoo of a galloping mare on his six pack. So. Fucking. Hot. He said he’d get a pegasus on his neck for me. I laughed then, but I’d so like to see that. “I done called you Monday and you’re only now dragging your ass down here?” He climbs down his steps with his cowboy boots and basketball shorts. They so don’t blend, but it’s all apart of that new alternative style—or I guess it’s just something he wears around the farm. It works so well, I swear to God.  “And looky here. You brought a dime piece with ya.” He bows at me then kisses my hand. 

“Real classy.” I sarcastically say, and he winks, and now my heart is fucking trying to jump out of my chest. I feel fuzzy inside and I think he can tell. God, he can tell. 

“I see ya.” He quips then pinches my cheek. His hands are cold, stiff, and I know that if he really wanted to he could hurt me really badly without much effort. “Where’s AJ? She gon join us?” Braeburn is talking to Mac but he still has his eyes on me. “Got cold booze in the fridge and some,” he flicks at his nose. It’s like an inside joke that I don’t get. 

“We ain’t here for that.” Mac takes his cowboy hat off my head. My scorpion stinger tumbles out and smacks me on the forehead. 

“Sweet Mother Marey! You get in a fight with a lawnmower!?” I can tell he’s holding back a laugh and I rather he didn’t. I know my hair looks fucking ridiculous, that’s the point. 

So I puff my chest out as I say, “Two actually.” He slaps his knee like it’s the funniest thing in Equestria, and I try not to look like a loser doofus.

 It takes him like a handful of seconds to calm down before he motions for us to follow. “Well then c’mon. Got my fucking work cut out for me.” He turns around and I can see a list of names and dates running down his spine. Most of them start with Apple. AJ was right, their family is super obsessed with the fruit. Like, Bow, for example, didn’t name me after himself, or even Windy. I’m named after his best friend. I would rather be an Apple. 

Braeburn is sagging a bit, and I can see his deep back dimples and the band of his boxers. I’m just sorta standing there staring when Mac lifts me up and places me on his shoulders like I’m some little kid. His head goes under my skirt, and I hold onto his face so tightly that I’m practically suffocating him with it. “I ain’t gon drop ya.” I can feel his voice vibrating up my belly, so I don’t tense up so much. “You gonna guide me or can I get my sight back?” I hike my skirt over his head and he looks up at him. “Now I can see those pretty magenta eyes.” And I’m blushing so much that I kiss his forehead to take the attention off of me. He rubs my leg lovingly as we start moving. It feels like I’m riding on the back of a stallion. 

I’ve never had a boyfriend before Mac. We haven’t even been together for long and I already wanna spend, like, the absolute rest of my life with him. I told AJ that last week, I told her just that, and instead of being excited at the thought of being my sister-in-law she changed the subject to avoid lying. That meant she had nothing good to say, but she’s the one who introduced us. Two months ago she invited me over, told me to stay in her room, and when she left to get us a glass of OJ, he popped in and introduced himself. AJ got all awkward when she got back, told me he was her brother, and then she wanted to do homework in the kitchen instead. She should know what love feels like, though. I mean, since she’s having a baby too. 

“Does Applejack have a boyfriend?” I ask when we get into the farmhouse. Mac shuts the door and takes his boots off. 

Braeburn turns so quickly I swear he’d snap his neck. “She better the hell not!” Even though he’s smiling, I don’t think he’s joking. Family is everything to them, so I understand her cousin being super protective. It’s kinda sweet. 

We’re standing in his living room. Inside of his house is really nice with a bunch of expensive stuff. Farming makes a ton of money, I think. Bow used to work for the news station in Cloudsdale and we never had all of this brand name shit. There’s a huge flat screen TV hanging on the wall playing an action movie. Braeburn mutes it before he picks up a magazine with, like, baking soda on it that’s separated into lines. I see a credit card covered in the junk and a powdery rolled up dollar bill too. It’s weird, but I pretend not to see it since he’s trying to hide it.

 “Why’d you ask that?” Braeburn gets a dining chair, places it in the middle of the room, and Mac sits me down on it. “You know something we don’t?” He winks at me again. 

Regardless of how cool these two are, I could never snitch on AJ. Friends for life and friends keep each other’s secrets. “Nah, I was just wondering.” There must be a reason she didn’t tell anyone about her BD. I guess we really are alike. “What kinda style are you gonna give me?” 

Braeburn puts a towel over my shoulders then gets his shaving kit out. “Don’t worry ‘bout it, you’ll see.” He pops an all white cigarette between his lips but doesn’t light it. I watch as he reaches around me for his phone even though there’s a bunch of space, like, all around the coffee table and it would’ve just been easier to get it on the opposite side. I can feel his beating heart against my bald head. There’s this scent of sweat and hay on him, and I don’t know if it’s a bad smell or not. He connects his phone to a speaker before playing his music. “It’s gonna be punk, baby.”

I snatch a glance up at him when the beat starts, a vocalist cuts in, sings slowly at first. “What’s punk?” He forces my head back as he cuts on the clippers. 

“Mackie!” And he’s dragging the end syllable for dramatic effect. “Mackie, you got a lotta teach her.” Then the drums happen, and there’s screaming lyrics, and there’s this energy that no boring pop song or hymnals could ever produce. I swear I feel tingles in my toes and I swear I can’t control my smile. “That’s it, missy. Feel that shit take over.” I don’t realize I’m rocking my head to the beat until I feel the clippers nip my ear and Braeburn leans down to suck on it. 

The music just stops then, not really, but I no longer hear it. The room is dark and small again. All my mind can focus on is the sensation of his tongue and this creeping fear. 

I look over at Big Mac who is reclining on the sofa with a beer can in his hand. He cracks it open and slurps it down, not even looking in my direction. His cousin is sucking on my ear and he doesn’t react at all. He’s as purposefully clueless as Bow. I want to yell at him for that, but Braeburn is no longer touching me, so there’s no point. 

“You should come over more often. Sure can teach ya a lot.” He’s whispering in my ear. I don’t say anything, so I guess that’s why he gets back to fixing my bad shave job. I can feel his crotch poking at the back of my head, and I don’t say anything about that either. I just kinda wanna leave now, but I’m scared to say that, so I just sit there and stare at the muted movie as he and Mac start talking about the concert.