The monsters were crowding around me. Scratching, beating, and jeering seemed to be the only things that they knew how to do. I struggled to break free of their grip, but I could never get up quick enough, and there was no room for me to scramble away. I turned my head to the right confident that this would be my end as the pain began to fade. However, there, just on the outskirts of the crowd around me was a little sword. I flipped myself over and reached as far as I could for the handle. Their hands were pressing on me again by the time my grasp reached the sword, at which point I kicked and swung my limbs wildly to defend myself. I got to my feet and took a stance with the sword. What I heard next was hideous laughter all around me. This wasn't a real sword; it was just a hollow, plastic toy that some child had won at one of the games at the fair and discarded. Fortunately, this never registered in my mind. I swung at one monster, and he fell. No blood, no cuts, he just collapsed. I did the same with another, and another, and another until they were all dead on the ground, and I alone stood.
I figured I should head back home, so I stepped away from the fare and into the desert. There was nothing in sight in before me and nothing in sight behind. I walked forward with my new weapon, going to God knows where. Eventually, I came across a shallow oasis. I drank nearly all of the water, which wasn't much, but I noticed a dying palm tree on the bank and left the rest to it. I walked a few more minutes and looked back. The palm tree was erect and flourishing.
The sun suddenly became blindingly bright, and by the time my eyes adjusted, the desert was now a freshly lit jail cell. I stared at the ceiling for a few minutes trying to understand my dream, but all I could come to was I killed my former friends with a toy sword. I could tell that this day was going to be full of weird twists and turns.
Our daily routine started off as it always did. I took a leak while Luke brushed his teeth, then I brushed my teeth while Luke did his business. Next, we went to breakfast, only shortly after we finished, a couple guards shackled us up and made us walk. I knew exactly where we were going, and why. I also knew that we were prepared for what we were about to do. What I didn't know and could only hope for was that the other guys weren’t more prepared.
Today was our court date, and I couldn’t have been more nervous. The guard only had to show us the shackles and I darted to the toilet in the cell to throw up. Arnold Goldstein was waiting for us, as well as Ned Vincent, the jury, and an audience of people, which included my parents, Michelle, the Vincents, and a prissy looking pink pony with a tiara. Why is there a pony in here? Sure this trial involves a pony, but what’s the purpose of having one in the audience?
“Boys, I just wanna say no hard feelings; it’s just business.” Ned said to us with a smug face.
I spoke up, “is that why you’re suing us for every penny we have?”
“And every penny your school has. How could security be so lousy that a fully grown pegasus pony can live in a dorm room for weeks without notice? If I just sued you two I’d lose money.”
I could have sworn I felt a vein pulsing in my temple. You greasy Cajun son of a bitch! Just hold it in Eric; don’t wanna start a scene in the courtroom. The bailiff stepped to the center of the floor and announced, “All rise for the honorable Judge Nicholas Carter!”
A grey old man stepped into the high chair, tapped some papers on his desk and read aloud into a microphone, “Case #29057, Ned Vincent versus Eric Cornell and Luke McDonald will now come to order. Is the prosecution ready to give their opening statement?”
A sleek, graying man in a suit stood up at the table to our left. “Yes your honor.”
He had a straight face that was riddled with experience in both his eyes and his wrinkles. Vincent had to have gotten the best attorney money can hire. Maybe our secret weapon can catch him off guard. God I hope it does. “Members of the jury, my name is Carlos Diego. What does that have to do with this case? Very little; just thought you’d like to know who the winner was going to be. At about nine o’clock at night on February 6, Mr. Vincent noticed that his daughter’s pet pegasus, Fluttershy, had run off through his daughter’s window. Approximately three weeks later, she was found in possession of those two college students without a license.” He pointed to us, “Now ladies and gentlemen of the jury, look me straight in the eye and tell me that this isn’t a straightforward case. We all know that it is hard to abandon these adorable creatures, but the responsible course of action would have been to give her up to the pound. I trust you aren’t blind and will administer justice.”
Diego sat down and Vincent patted him on the back. Judge Carter looked at us now, “Is the defense ready to give their opening statement?”
Arnold stood up, “Yes your honor.” He fixed his tie and turned to the jury with a new aura of confidence that I hadn’t seen before. “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you might be thinking that we’re about to plead guilty. Sorry to make you wait here, but true justice must be served here, and only you can bring it. You see, my clients had not only a right, but a duty to take in Fluttershy. That’s right; I’m talking about the Hospitality Clause. For those of you not familiar with it, the Hospitality Clause gives people without a pony license the right to house a pony if they were running away from an unsafe or neglectful environment. Well, this is exactly what we have here today.” Arnold gave a look to Ned Vincent, and then back to the jury. “Thank you." He walked back to our table and sat down. Luke, being closer, gave him a pat on the back.
Judge Carter looked mildly surprised, and perhaps pleased. “Well, looks like we might actually have a real case here after all! The prosecution may call their first witness.”
“Yes your honor,” replied Diego. “The prosecution calls Alec Neumann to the stand.”
My eyes went to the back of the courtroom and I spotted one of the pony catchers who took Fluttershy, the one who calmed the other down. I looked next to him as he walked forward and saw his co-worker. What was his name? Bobby? No, Robbie. Alec stepped into the stand and sat. Next, the bailiff came around with a bible, which Alec placed his right hand on as he raised the other. “Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?”
“So help me God.”
As the bailiff went back to his spot, I started breathing manually and my heart started beating harder. Just calm down. You know you’re innocent. What are you doing? You’re sitting in a courtroom as the defendant of what is supposed to be and in-and-out case…yeah, you’re not gonna weasel outta this one. Diego walked up to the stand and started, “Mr. Neumann, how are you related to this case?”
“I was the equine acquirer who caught Fluttershy.”
I guess they don’t like being called pony catchers…it’s still the same though. Diego continued, “Can you tell us whom you met while obtaining Fluttershy?”
Alec looked straight at me. “That guy sitting over there with the short, brown hair.”
“Ah yes, Eric Cornell,” Diego took a couple steps towards me, and then faced the jury, “Members of the jury, Eric Cornell is a college student. He lives on the campus and, upon examination of his dorm room, was studying for an exam; a medical exam to be more precise. You see, Mr. Cornell aspired to be a veterinarian, but vet school costs a lot of money, and what’s a poor college student to do? You might be wondering what this has to do with the case. Well, upon a testimony from Fluttershy herself, it was Eric who snatched her from the streets. Now why would a financially deprived college student take in a pet? One might think, ‘Oh, he’s just a young brony with a fierce affection for the colorful equines,’ But I propose a more sinister plot. Mr. Cornell is, in fact, not a brony. He owns no related clothing, has downloaded zero songs, and doesn’t even keep a memento stashed away to keep an off-mainstream image. If he doesn’t like ponies, then why abduct this creature despite the risks? I believe that he wanted her for ransom.”
“Objection!” Arnold stood up, “Your honor, if my client isn’t a brony, then how could he have known Fluttershy’s worth or who she belonged to?”
Judge Carter contemplated this and said, “The defense has a point. Care to elaborate Mr. Diego?”
He merely smiled. “Gladly your honor. Obviously, Mr. Cornell loves animals; otherwise he wouldn’t be learning to be a vet. Now, as we all know, Fluttershy is perhaps the most adorable pony alive, so how could Mr. Cornell look away without helping? It wasn’t until he got home, you see, that he discovered her worth. There isn’t just one person on trial here. His roommate, Luke McDonald, is a devoted brony. He’s got the clothes; he’s got the toys; he’s even got the hard cover copies of the most popular fan fictions. What he doesn’t have, however, is a pony all his own. We did a sweep of his computer’s hard drive and found some interesting searches. He’s been tracking all of his favorite ponies. He knows what they’re doing every hour of every day, and of course what their estimated worth is. I think we can all see where this is going; he saw suddenly saw Fluttershy in his dorm room, quickly thought up his insidious scheme, and made Mr. Cornell his accomplice. Sure, one could argue that he’s just a devoted fan who likes to keep tabs on his ponies of interest, but would a devoted fan, a fan virtually raised on the ideals of care and thoughtfulness, endanger his or her idol’s safety? I certainly hope not.”
Mr. Diego sat back down, looking very pleased with himself with his small smile and beaming face. That bastard! How dare he attack Luke like that! He’d never do anything like that. He’s not a sinister low-life right?...right? I looked over at Luke, and I could tell that none of that was true. While he was trying to keep a straight face, I could see the disbelief in him. He was probably thinking about how much he hates lawyers; right up there with pony catchers. Diego was so unfair to him, but when you’re getting paid as much as he probably is you want to make sure your client’s getting his money’s worth to keep your reputation.
Luke looked into the audience where Michelle was sitting. He just had to let her know somehow that none of that was true, but I don’t think she was quite ready to listen. “Does the defense have any questions for Mr. Neumann?” said Judge Carter.
Arnold stood up and said, “No your honor.” and sat back down.
Judge Carter released Alec Neumann from the stand, and he left the courtroom with his friend, Robbie. I saw what Arnold was doing; he didn’t want to skew off from the case that we were pleading. I just hoped that their case wasn’t stronger.