//------------------------------// // Off the Rails! // Story: Punkbabii! // by HelloPussy //------------------------------// So, Canterlot Catholic is a chain of schools. They got one in, like, every major city in the country, but this one is the only school with a teenage mother program. Think of it as Special Ed but with a bunch of knocked up idiots. I’m only a month in this class and I already want to get off the short bus. It’s supposed to help us still graduate on time while learning how not to kill our kid, but what if I don’t want to graduate with my peers? What if I want to get a GED like all the other cool teen moms outside of Ponyville? AJ and I got our babies around the same time. We literally took our pregnancy test at church, and we were literally both hysterically crying, like, so much that her grandmother had to come in, and wasn’t she in for a shock when she saw the pee sticks. I don’t remember why AJ had the tests, and I don’t want to think about why I decided to take one with her, but whatever. We’re like wombmates now. So I don’t talk to the other bitches in my class, I rather not make too many friends. It’s, like, better to just have acquaintances, you know? Like AJ is the first person I got this close to in a very long time, and that’s because I lost an old friend when I was, like, 8. It’s not important, I tell myself. It’s long ago and I have my own problems to deal with now, but I can’t help but wonder if she’s alive or halfway across the globe. I don’t like thinking about it, though.  “Ms. Lulu, you never said the test was today.” A hand shoots into the air after the comment was made. If the girl was smart she would’ve known it was supposed to be the other way around.  “It’s Ms. Luna, please Trixie, and I did inform you a good two weeks in advance….As I always do.” Ms. Luna is tall and mysterious. We all suspect she lives a double life fighting crime in Fillydelphia since it’s got a bad tweaker problem and she has a big heart. I heard she’s been to jail before, and her sister was the one to put her there. Can’t trust family nowadays. “I’ll give you ten minutes to look over your notes. How about that, girls? Shall we do a quick review before we begin?”  Everyone groans a yes. I know I didn’t study for a math test since I’m not even good at it anyway. I’ll fail this one, and Ms. Luna will just pull me aside during lunch to break down the questions, and as long as I’m following close enough along she’ll change my grade by a letter.  “Let’s pair up while I start the timer.”  I’m already sitting next to AJ. She has her textbook open reading through it with a constipated look on her face. I poke her side to get her attention. “Mac said he’s going to a rap concert on Friday. Since when did he listen to rap?” He always does. He’s the one to introduce me to it, but I want to talk instead of work, and this is a good enough conversation starter.  “He don’t even like country if that’s where you’re going with it.” She pokes me back. “Racist.”  “How am I racist?” Applejack is what the old toads would call earthen—whatever that means. It’s probably a slur. “I mean, you like country music.”  “I was just playing with ya.” She flicks me on the forehead. I pull my beanie down. “That concert is 21 plus. He said they’ll be serving drinks so they card at the door.”  “Just gotta pull out my old fake ID and I’m in.” I so don’t have one of those, but I suspect they aren’t that hard to make.  “You’re 15, and look every darn day of it too.” AJ flicks me again, and now I’m about to chomp her fingers off. “Plus, I don’t like that type of stuff anyway. When my cousins are over it might as well be a whole carnival, and it’s the worst damn time.” She gets all weird again. She does this thing where she bites her lip when she’s trying to hide something. AJ can’t lie, she’s like cursed, I swear to God, so when there’s something she can’t share, she has to stop herself otherwise the truth will come tumbling out like my drunk uncle from a port-a-potty. “I pray every night they ain’t ever gonna come back.”  “Your cousins?” I ask. She doesn’t respond. “This isn’t about you anyway, AJ. I was asking to see if I could go to that concert.”  She has a bit of an attitude now. “And I told you you can’t cause you ain’t 21.”  “All she needs is a little makeup and she could fool anyone.” We hear a voice butt itself in and it's from the desk right behind us. There’s this bitch named Rarity that thinks she’s the next Fleur De Lis, but she’s nothing but a Ponygram model, if that. She playfully pokes her manicured nail into my back. It’s like cat claws, even shaped like them too, and I have no idea how she passed dress code with them being so long. “I can show you a few looks after school today.”  I turn around to look at her. She has this voluptuous hair that covers her right eye like one of those cover girls in a magazine. It puts my side scorpion stinger to shame. “Like, at my place?” I ask since she has a pretty good face full of makeup, and I could mistake her for like early twenties if we weren’t sitting in a high school. She obviously knows what she’s talking about, so why not take her up on her offer? She has her eyes on AJ’ braided ponytail. “Sure, I’m alright with that—“  “Can’t. Her dad don’t allow it.” Applejack is studying the textbook again, but I can see her brows stitching like she’s trying to look focused, but she’s failing at it.  I roll my eyes. “Please, Bow is a fucking bitch. I run my house.” And I puff out my chest.  AJ scoffs. “Okay, Bulk Biceps.”  Rarity laughs too, covers her mouth while she does it, as if it’s too uncouth to see her smile. She pokes AJ’s spine with those same painted cat claws. “You can come too if you want. I mean, not to just invite myself where I’m unwanted, but it sounds like her parents at least know you, and I assume you visit often?”  “That’s only ‘cause her mom goes to my granny’s church. She knows I’m the good influence innda friendship.” AJ shoots me a look and sticks her tongue out. I stick my tongue out at her right back. “She ain’t know you.”  I butt in now since AJ is clearly trying to hog me for herself. She’s weird like that. “Just come with us after school. Bow will get to know you, and if you aren’t acting like a total idiot, he’ll probably think you’re alright.” I’m sitting with my stomach against the back of the chair. We’re face to face, me and this Rarity chick. She tucks her hair behind her ear before sucking up water from her metal straw. There’s pink lipstick all over it. She’s got one of those over the top fancy bottles that says Vaycay Bea. It’s stupid.  “Okay.”  “Alright girls, shut your textbooks and get out a pencil and a sheet of loose-leaf.” Ms. Luna gets up to turn on the big lights so we can see better. I prefer it when she has the lamp on, and she apparently likes it too since it reminds her of night. She goes on and on about it sometimes if we ask the right questions. It’s the best way to get out of a lecture. “And Rainbow Dash, turn around, head forward, eyes on your paper.” I secretly flip her the bird below my desk just so she can’t see it. AJ pinches me. I flip her the bird too.