//------------------------------// // REWRITE 5: Please, Make Yourself at Home // Story: Halo: Ponies and Clouded Pasts // by Blazer //------------------------------// "So, what's your real name?" "Not part of the deal." "I understand, but I don't think it feels right just to call you '117.'" "Lemme guess! Lemme guess! Maybe it's Greenstalk! Or Tall-live!" "You can address me by my rank." "Master Chief Petty Officer?" "Okay, Mister Master Chief!" He did his best to hide his sigh inside his helmet. At least most of the others chose to talk amongst themselves. The one with the rainbow mane—the one he had knocked out—looked rightfully pissed. Their expression was mildly amusing, but John knew he had given the ponies one less reason to trust him. "So, Master Chief Petty Officer, can you tell us more about this 'United Nations Space Command?' You mentioned you're one of their officers." "The UNSC serves the United Earth Government as a military force." "And what function do you serve in the UNSC?" "I can't tell you." He could feel the Princess's eyes boring into the side of his helmet. She cleared her throat before trying a different approach. "So what do humans eat?" "Humans are omnivorous." "Interesting. So you eat fish, too?" "Among other things." "Fascinating. What other meats do you consume?" John paused, unsure if he should continue. "...The majority of meats consumed mostly center around poultry, pork, sheep and beef." "You eat yer farmed animals? What's the point o' wastin' yer livestock like that," the orange one interjected. If he recalled correctly, she'd introduced herself as Applejack. "We... enjoy the taste." The yellow Pegasus fainted, much to the dismay of her friends. Pinkie Pie frowned but made no reply. Then the question came. "Do you... eat ponies too?" The Spartan thought for awhile, looking for a different way to discuss the carnivorous behavior of humanity. "There isn't really anything we don't eat. There have even been recorded cases of cannibalism, although almost all of these records describe the act as a last resort." Pinkie turned a bit green while Twilight's eyes widened with awe. "Intriguing! So in a worst-scenario, humans can sustain themselves off of each other. While it can only be assumed with other carnivorous species, this is the first time we've gotten one such species to confirm our suspicions!" John, as well as all of Twilight’s company, all stared at her with concern. She gave a sheepish grin. "Anyway, just taking some notes for when we start taking care of you." She shared a glance with the rainbow-pony. John felt a rock form in his stomach as Twilight turned back around. "I think it's time I address the elephant in the room," she began, stepping back so that the rainbow mare could look directly at John. She didn't strike an imposing figure but the Spartan couldn't help but feel nervous at what might happen next. "I think this is a good opportunity for the two of you to apologize to each other." "What?" "What?!" John turned back to face the rainbow-maned pony in confusion as she did the same. "Rainbow, you took something without permission when... Er, Master Chief Petty Officer first landed. And," the purple mare sighed again. "Just call me Master Chief," he offered. Her expression warmed. "Master Chief, you knocked her out when all we wanted to do was talk." "I will not apologize." "I'm not doing that!" The two shared an irritated glare. Twilight's brow furrowed in frustration. "Alright... then if you both feel justified, why don't you explain yourselves!" "You first, big guy." John opened his mouth to speak before noticing the taller, much more regal pony named Princess Celestia was now watching him with a keen eye. The eyes of Twilight's friends were also locked onto him. He would have to choose his next words carefully. "My goal at the time was to evade capture. When Twilight showed me her... 'magical' capabilities upon my arrival, I had to run." Twilight seemed to sift through his words before replying, "So you knocked her out because you thought we would capture you if we found you?" "It's what I would've done," he stated, shrugging. "And why would you subdue an unknown creature when there's a chance to negotiate?" John paused. He thought about simply answering with 'he wouldn't trust an alien,' but felt it might put himself in a bad light. He had another alternative, but it would raise more questions that he didn't feel like answering. "Because humanity is embroiled in a conflict with extraterrestrial life." John and the ponies slowly turned towards Celestia—the Princess's eyes cold. "I never said that." "But it's the truth, isn't it? My sister saw your dream." John felt a chill run down his spine. "What are you talking about?" "When you were sleeping under that oak tree last night, my sister visited your dreams. She saw your war. And the fact that your species has managed interstellar travel means those creatures were something you found—or found you." John stood tall, his fists clenching. Just what couldn't their magic do? "Maybe I was dreaming that. But I doubt a 'dream' can be counted as relevant information." "Do you deny that the dream was a memory?" "With all due respect, Princess, this wasn't part of the deal." "This information was collected when you were still a wanted fugitive." "Okay, enough!" Both parties turned to Twilight—the Princess tossing her mane in frustration. She looked towards Celestia with a sorrowful expression. "Princess, please leave the negotiation to me. Like you promised," then she turned to John, "And Master Chief, you do not have to elaborate about your intentions or your 'war.' I understand your caution. We ponies just do things more... peacefully, so forgive what may seem like ridiculous questions." John felt relief wash over him. "But I still think an apology to Rainbow won't hurt." He knew it. "I think it's a comparatively light punishment for coming close to setting off an entire human-pony war." John glared daggers through his visor while Celestia did the same. Twilight gave another sheepish smile. "Uh, tough crowd today." Celestia turned towards John, brow raised, "I thought soldiers follow orders—just whose orders were you following when you harmed one of my ponies? You are outside UNSC jurisdiction, after all." "Protocol dictated my response," John replied cooly. "And this is our protocol," Twilight interjected, "We don't leave any unfinished matters open if we can help it." John turned towards her, his eyes narrowed inside his helmet. She broke eye contact, looking at her forelegs. "I just don't want anypony to get off on the wrong hoof," she mumbled dejectedly. "I'm sorry!" John looked across the carriage at Rainbow Dash—the Pegasus now standing tall. "Sorry for stealing your helmet-thing. It wasn't mine and... I shouldn't have done that." Twilight smiled at Rainbow approvingly as the two shared a short moment of understanding. As Rainbow’s magenta eyes turned back to John, they hardened once more, "You don't have to apologize. You were just defending yourself. And... you hit like a wimp, anyways." Flicking her tail as she turned, Rainbow turned to face the side of the carriage— returning to her skyward vigil. All onboard—John included—seemed to take a collective breath. A merciful quiet fell over the carriage. "Soooo can we call ya 'Mister Chief?'" "No." *** "The Royal Palace of Canterlot will be your temporary home until further notice." Having left Twilight and her friends at one of the dozens of sitting rooms in this massive castle, John followed Celestia at a distance. Being near her felt like she would crumple him like a giant beer can if he got too close. He caught himself unconsciously holding his box of baked goods with both hands—the edges slightly crinkled from his vicelike grasp. "For now, you will be staying here." John stepped into the lavish room. At least, it would be lavish if he was a couple feet smaller. It was well-furnished and spacious—a sitting area complete with a couple of couches and armchairs surrounded an excessively large coffee table. A king-sized canopy bed occupied the far wall with a pair of matching pastel end tables, each hosting a large lamp. The left wall was crowded with bookshelves, a number of elegant-looking hardcover books occupying them. A wide vanity took the last of the walls, flanked by an empty space decorated with a wooly rug. Again, all lavish but two sizes too small for the 7' Spartan. "If you are ever lost and cannot find your way back, talk to any of my guardsponies and they will escort you back here." He turned to Celestia, surprised to see she was looking away distractedly. "Breakfast is at eight bells. Lunch is at twelve bells. Dinner is at five bells. If you find yourself hungry between meals, you can ask any of the staff for assistance." "When do you start helping me get home?" That got her attention. Celestia's expression wavered for a moment, then melted into a smile. Whatever hostility she displayed earlier was eerily absent. "We will start tomorrow morning. We assumed you might be exhausted after that escape attempt earlier today. If you wish, we can fly you back to your ship this evening." Best not push his luck. John shook his head, "I can wait until tomorrow, then. Thank you." Celestia bowed as she began to turn away, "Then I will take my leave." Her horn glowed gold as the door slowly swung shut. John listened closely, hearing her footsteps outside the room. He heard some soft words spoken to the guard outside before the footsteps started again, eventually fading into silence. Dropping the box of cupcakes to the floor, the Spartan sat down as slowly as he could, narrowly avoiding collapsing ungracefully as he sat hard on his rear. The floor barely even quivered as he eased back—a good sign that he didn't have to worry about falling through it if he fell. John sighed as he leaned back, resting fully on the floor. He felt his injuries, bruises and cryo-blisters all begin to burn through his fatigue as the last of his adrenaline evaporated from his circulatory system. His legs ached the most—stiffness quickly working their way into the exhausted limbs. Hunger pains punched him repeatedly in his stomach, an undignified growl rolling forth like a peal of miniature thunder. He smiled to himself—he had never felt so pathetic. Grunting, John managed to sit himself back up as he pulled the box closer. The Spartan gingerly opened the lid, his ravenous stare immediately locked onto the eight cupcakes sitting inside. Removing his helmet, he plucked one of the disheveled pastries from its cardboard holder, giving it a quick sniff. Sugary. Choclatey. Probably little-to-no nutritional value. Exactly what he’d expect from a sweet confectionary item. While aware of such things existing, they had never been John's favorite. His time in the UNSC's chow halls taught him that looks could be deceiving. However, this looked and smelled like the real thing. Did these ponies have a similar sense of taste to humans? He peeled the paper cup away from one side, taking a small bite. Then he took a bigger bite. Before he knew it, he had finished the cupcake. His embarrassment burned his cheeks as he glanced down at the remaining cupcakes, his mouth starting to water. How far the mighty Spartan had fallen—surviving on handouts from a race of peace-loving horses. He thought back to Deja's history lessons, Napoleon's famous words chiding him like a wise grandmother. "An army marches on its stomach." He grabbed another cupcake. *** "C'mon, Twi. You know us. Ah don't think we can jus' go back to the way things were," Applejack complained, shaking her head. "Perhaps we can stay nearby in the event that our assistance is required," Rarity offered. "I could stop by after practice with the Wonderbolts—y'know, just to check in," Rainbow added. Twilight couldn't help a smile, "I know today has been one for the record books, girls. I'm afraid that Princess Celestia was very specific on her instructions." "What if the Elements are needed? We can't help if we're all the way back in Ponyville," Fluttershy noted. "The Princesses vowed to keep an eye on him—I doubt their power will be matched by a single human should things go awry." "I dunno. Not hating on the Princesses or anything, but they seemed kinda intense," Pinkie mused. "Hope Mister Chief's gonna be okay." "Ah'll admit, I ain't envious of our guest in the slightest. Bein' watched by two Princesses..." "I would not mind being a prisoner if my cell was the entire Royal Palace!" Fluttershy frowned, her eyes on the floor, "If I knew I couldn't go home no matter what I tried, I wouldn't be too happy..." "Not to mention not knowing anypony where you're stranded! And being kept in a place where the only other ponies are servants and guards," Pinkie noted. "I'unno. He seems pretty uninterested in making friends. I learned that the hard way," Rainbow countered, tapping her forehead, "Also, he's kind of a stick-in-the-mud." Twilight sighed, shaking her head, "I'm sorry, Rainbow. I know he never finished his apology to you. And maybe he is a little self-centered," she looked up at Rainbow, now smiling approvingly. "However, I think you did the right thing back there. He may not have said anything but you did take some heat off his back by forgiving him—I'm sure he's grateful. Maybe he just has trouble showing it." "Sure seems that way," Rainbow scoffed, crossing her forelegs. Pinkie suddenly started chuckling to herself. Her friends all shared concerned glances as their focus shifted to the pink earth pony. "Do you find something funny, Pinkie?" "You're being weird again..." Pinkie looked up, her eyes squinted in mirth as she giggled furiously, "H-he reminds me of Cranky Doodle! And then I imagined him as a s-stubborn old mule! Heehee!" Rainbow tried to hide her smile behind a hoof, "Pfft! Dead on, Pinkie! Bahaha!" Twilight tapped her chin thoughtfully, "Hmm, you may have a point there... How did you help Cranky acclimate to Ponyville?" Pinkie shrugged, "I found out he was looking for somepony special!" Twilight hummed to herself as she processed Pinkie’s words. "Looking for somepony..."