I couldn't speak. My body was shaking and my heart raced. They gave up. They ended the project and gave up. Three months ago. Princess Celestia gave me letters up until about four weeks ago. She had to of known about this. Why would she lie? Everyone keeps saying that she wouldn't ghost me, that she was doing everything she can to help me. It doesn't make sense.
"Doctor Spanner, who closed the project?" This time, Princess Luna spoke up, her voice even, but demanding.
"Princess Celestia did, your highness. She didn't want to risk anything further trying to conduct this experiment. Linking dimensions creates a friction, at least the way we are doing it does, and those frictions cause accidents. Just like Mr. Mavericks arrival." I wanted to yell at the doctor, I wanted to yell at Princess Celestia. I felt my blood boil and tears start to form in my eyes.
"W-wait, so you guys can't find my universe? What if, uh, I don't know... Maybe you just need me or something! Like maybe since I'm from there, we just need some of my DNA or something and see if it'll connect again!" I looked to the doctor with some hope, but it was quickly squashed with a head shake.
"I'm afraid that wouldn't work, at least not at this point. We've tried." Within the file, he used his magic to pulled out a zip-loc bag of a blue feather. My feather. I remember giving it to Princess Celestia before leaving for Ponyville. She had asked for it and that she would hold onto as a reminder to get me home. But here it was, in a baggie.
"We did use a piece of your DNA to see if it would work. Hypothetically, it can, but we are missing several other pieces of the puzzle. What those pieces are, though, we are unsure." The doctor placed it back in the file. I tried to plead to him.
"You've gotta be able to do something! You guys have magic! There's no spell? No crazy artifact or something that can do it? Please, sir, you have to help me. I have a family back home that needs me, I have friends that I want to see again. Please..." I couldn't take it anymore. Call me a wussy or a bitch, whatever, but the tears started to fall. There was pain, heartache, and a sense of crushed hope within me. But there was also something else there too. Anger. Rage.
I felt so much rage.
"Maverick... Interdimensional duel-linking is a subject we know very little about. With our experiments so far, we have barely scratched the surface. Even if we attained Princess Celestia's approval again for the project, it could take us a lifetime to figure it out. Personally, I would love to help more, but I can't. I'm sorry, Maverick. I'm so sorry." Doctor Spanner went to put a hoof on my shoulder, but I swiped it away.
I looked to Princess Luna, who had been staring off into space. She was thinking, and she was thinking hard. I briskly walked up to her and shoved a talon into her chest. All of my sense of formality left at that moment.
"Let them continue, tell them to open the project again. I don't care if it takes years or a lifetime, if I can't see my family again, I want to be able to at least be buried where my family can find me." I snapped her out of her daze.
"Maverick, you need to calm down. I am just as livid as you are. My own sister has kept this from me until now as well. And I can't just open up the project again, I will have to talk with Celestia." It wasn't enough.
"Livid as me? Bullshit. And why do you need her permission for that? You take orders from Celestia? I thought you were on equal footing. Fine then! Lets go talk with her right now." I go for the door, but before I could make it there, I felt something force my body to stop. I looked down to see a blue hue of magic holding onto my entire body. Princess Luna was using her magic to hold me there.
"Maverick, you need to calm yourself before you force my hoof. What my sister did wasn't right, but that doesn't mean you can do whatever you want. We will go to her when you have calmed down." At first I tried to struggle and move, but my fight against the princess was useless. She was stronger than me.
"... Why? Why would she lie? Did she think that giving me false hope would somehow make me feel okay? Was she going to even tell me the truth to begin with? None of this makes sense." I was more or less talking to myself. I looked over to the doctor. "Why didn't you guys say anything? You guys didn't think that telling the interdimensional alien that he was stuck in Equestria would be important enough?" Doctor Spanner rubbed his hoof.
"Although it wasn't within protocol, Princess Celestia had told us that she would contact you personally about the project closing. I apologize, if we had followed procedure, we wouldn't be in this situation right now." I wanted to be mad at the doctor as well, but he was given an order from the princess herself. Maybe he should have made a formal statement about the project closing to me, but overall, the fault lies with the Celestia, here.
Princess Luna put a hoof onto the doctor's shoulder as she passed him and made her way to me. Her compassionate, but serious eyes didn't leave my own as she approached.
"I don't know why my sister held such a secret from you, dear Maverick, but we will find out when we confront her here soon. I'm going to release you; will you behave?" Behave? What does she mean by behave? Am I not supposed to be mad? Is this not a fair reaction? How am I in the wrong, here?
"... Behave? I am behaving just as anyone would in this situation! Weren't you kicked out of Equestria or something? I thought you understood what it was like to lose those you care about. To lose your everything. Yet here you are, defending your sister, even after all she's done to us." The venom of my words stung me to say, but I was compelled to let my thoughts known. I immediately regretted it though as I unleashed hidden, pent up frustration from the princess.
"THAT IS ENOUGH, MAVERICK." My ringing ears folded against my head as Princess Luna screamed. Frustration was an understatement.
"I DO KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO HAVE EVERYTHING TAKEN FROM ME. I HAVE FELT RAGE, SADNESS, DESPAIR, I HAVE FELT IT ALL, YOU KNAVE. I LIVED WITH IT IN ISOLATION FOR A THOUSAND YEARS. IT WAS NOT HER WHO WAS WRONG, THEN, MAVERICK, BUT ME. EVERYDAY I LIVE WITH THE FACT THAT I HURT MANY PONIES, THAT I CAUSED HARM TO THOSE WHO I CARED ABOUT, BETRAYED THOSE I LOVED!" She paused gave a deep breath, her teal eyes slightly watering.
"... And I have learned to deal with it in stride. I have learned to analyze my situation and act upon clear judgment. The last time I lashed out with emotion, left my temper unchecked, I caused Tartarus for my ponies, to Celestia, and to myself. I only thought about myself. Never again. So calm down, Maverick. Take a breath. Clear your thoughts so that you can act accordingly." My ears rang badly at her shouting, but I heard every word. She wiped the tears that formed on her eyes.
"And, Maverick- I am not defending my sister. When she banished me a thousand years ago, it was because I was in the wrong. In this instance, she clearly did something unfair to you now, something I didn't think she would do to anypony. At least, not without a good reason. That is why we need to go find out her reasoning with clear heads, so that we do not act upon rash ideas and violent tempers." I felt a sense of guilt flood over my body. Was Princess Luna right? I don't know. Maybe she was. Either way, I shouldn't have said what I said to her. She has been helping me with this situation without and complaint, but here I am directing my anger at her.
I do still feel angry. Guilty as well, but mostly angry. I don't think I can be talked down from that, but I know that Princess Luna is doing what she can to help me, here. It would be unwise to punch the embodiment of the sun in the face because I'm angry. I might leave the room in ashes.
Princess Luna is right. I need to control my temper, at least long enough to hear Celestia out. She better have a damn good reason to have left me in the dark like this, or else I'm still gonna give her a piece of my mind. Hell, maybe I'll leave in ashes no matter what.
I close my eyes and give a deep breath before speaking.
"... Fine. I'll "behave," your highness. Please, let me go, my leg is starting to cramp up." As requested, Princess Luna releases me and the blue hue of her magic dissipates. I can't say I enjoyed that all that much.
"Alright then, let us go find my sister. She is in her bed chambers currently," says Princess Luna as she marched toward the entrance to the lab. Damn, she's mad at me now. Why did I say all that shit before? Ugh.
Before following her, I turn to the doctor. Poor guy was also caught up in this mess. He should be glad my anger for Celestia out weighs my anger for him.
"Thank you for the apology, and thank you for letting me know of the situation, Doctor Spanner. But next time, if you're supposed to do something a certain way, please do it. You're the Executive Director for this place or whatever, not just another scientist straight out of school," I say, scolding him like a child. I turn to follow Princess Luna, as she waited at the door for me.
We say nothing to each other as we make our to Princess Celestia's room. I noticed that the guards on shift throughout the palace were a lot more rigid in their patrols and stations than I have seen today. No doubt that they heard the princess shout. I didn't even know her voice could be that loud. Must of been magic.
Anyway, I wasn't sure what was on Princess Luna's mind, but from how she carried herself, her frustration was apparent. I said some pretty gnarly things to her, which I don't believe she deserves. It didn't help any for me to do that, I have to be more conscious about what I say in the future. Especially to one of the leaders of Equestria that is trying to help me.
"Your highness... Princess Luna, I'm sorry for saying all that to you. You didn't deserve any of it. I'm... I'm just so angry right now. It's not an excuse, of course. You've helped me even when you didn't need to. I had a feeling since the beginning that shit didn't seem right, but I tried hard to convince myself it was just me being paranoid. I think my internalized anger and anxiety since arriving in Equestria hit a boiling point. I sincerely apologize for being a dick to you." I hoped she at least would accept the apology, even if she didn't actually forgive me.
Princess Luna didn't look to me or anything, but maybe after a moment or so, she replied.
"It is fine, young Maverick. You're hope to return home was crushed and you reacted. It is hard to fault you for being angry. I will say though, it is certainly unwise, perhaps even gallantly foolish, to speak to me that way. Most wouldn't have the audacity to do so, especially back in the day. I have certainly punished ponies for less. Do be careful next time, yes?" At her last words, she turned to me with a slight smile.
Despite my anger, I couldn't help but give her a smile back. We continued in silence. That is, until we made it to what appeared to be Princess Celestia's bed chambers. The doors that led into her room were made of a beautiful wood, perhaps mahogany, with a gold-lined trim, and a pink gemstone centered on each door. Two guards, white in appearance and wearing the standard gold armor, held their posts on each side of the doors. I noticed they had orange and yellow plumes on their helmets, differing from the normal blue or white I have seen so far. Her personal guard, perhaps?
"Sentinels, please retire down the hall until we are done speaking to my sister. It is a matter of great importance." The sentinels looked to one another.
"Erm, of course, your majesty." They both gave a bow before going down to the end of the hall.
We stood in front of the doors. My heart raced out of both fear and anger. I hadn't thought of how I was going to approach Celestia yet, but I was going to be direct and try to be somewhat respectful. Key word here is "try." Princess Luna knocked on one the doors.
It was time for a long needed confrontation.